"Potter! You loser get your sorry bootie out here!" Voldemort yelled. Yes, that's right. The darkest and most evilest Dark Lord of the century said 'bootie'. A water-eyed Harry walked out of #4 Privet Drive.

"Are you ready to die, Potter?" Voldemort yelled, smugly. Harry suddenly burst into tears.

"HERMIONE!" he wailed, "Voldemort called me a loser! Wah!"

"You bastard!" Hermione screamed, walking over to Voldemort, and started him, "Don't call Harry a loser, dammit! He's sensitive; can't you bloody see that! Call Harry a loser again, and stick a shotgun up your ass and fire, got it?"

"G-got it-t," Voldemort managed to get out.

"Good!" Hermione screamed, letting go of Voldemort's neck, and walking over to Harry to comfort him, "Oh, poor baby. It's okay. I won't let the big bad Voldie get you." Hermione had Harry in a hug, so she didn't see him stick his tongue out at Voldemort and moving his lips.

'Sucker! Nyah. Nyah. You can't touch me! Nyah. Nyah.'

And though Lord Voldemort was pissed at this, he decided to take his anger out on Bellatrix, as Hermione was really scary when she was in 'Protect Harry Mode'. Well, that and Bellatrix had pushed Sirius through the veil, before Voldemort could tell him that he loved him. Yep, that's right. The darkest and most evilest Dark Lord of the century was in love with Sirius Black.

And up in heaven Sirius Black shuddered, and thought, 'Thank God I'm dead'