-1How Sam Saved Dean Again
Chapter 3- The End
It had been nearly five weeks since Dean's release from the hospital as Sam sat on the edge of his dilapidated hotel bed in the run down motel room they were currently calling home. This was a lifestyle he swore to himself he was never going to live again… Yet here he was staring mindlessly at a re-run episode of I Love Lucy.
He could hear the water in the small adjoining bathroom shut off and grunted to himself in response shaking his head. He could still remember the renewed sense of hope he felt that afternoon over a month ago when the doctor emerged from his brothers room saying that Dean had been asking for him. If he was asking for him that meant that he was talking, vocalizing and that he was going to be alright,…. Didn't it?
As quickly as his hope had appeared it vanished when he entered into the small stale hospital room and immediately spotted the small piece of paper with his name scribbled across it. Letter that were no more legible then those written by a first grader. SAMMY. Even in his heavily medicated state Dean refused to simply write Sam, it was shorter, it had fewer letters… but no he had to use his embarrassing nickname instead.
Since his release from the hospital Dean had been the epitome of silence, he settled for points, grunts and scoffs rather then even attempting to speak. To Sam's surprise John had gone along with it! He got his son whatever he wanted, without ever making him ask for it, and he did it with what almost seemed to Sam like a song in his heart.
Guilt, Sam knew that that was the only reason his father had been so attentive to his eldest son's needs coming to his beck and call with every whimper. But that had to end, in the beginning Sam himself had been guilty of it as well, had 'babied' Dean not wanting to rush his recovery to soon. Today though, today that came to an end whether Dean was ready for it or not.
Sam had put his entire life, his education and even his chance at love with a wonderful new girl he just met named Jess, to move back to this shitty lifestyle and help his brother, he had done it with no questions asked,. He wanted to help Dean, he needed to, he knew he was the only one who could, but what good was he doing sitting in a run down motel room staring at a re-run? This was not helping Dean, this was only bringing Sam's recently discovered anger and annoyance to a boiling point he could no longer ignore.
John was out on a hunt, he wouldn't be back until the fallowing morning at the earliest and as he heard the bathroom door open Sam knew there was no time like the present to call his brother on his stubborn and childish behavior. No better time then now to force him to at least attempt to speak. He hadn't even tried not a single word… At least not that Sam had heard anyway.
Getting up from the corner of the bed where he had been sitting he flipped off the television and tossed the remote on to the repulsive green and yellow comforter before heading in the direction of the small kitchenette. Dean was currently pouring himself a cup of coffee wearing nothing but a pair of light blue work out pants his towel slung around his shoulders, a walking twenty-four hour fitness ad if Sam had ever seen one.
He smirked inwardly at his own joke not daring to say it out loud before forcing his face to wear a neutral expression and clearing his throat. "Nice shower?" He asked crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the small stove.
Dean took a long sip from his fresh cup of coffee before shrugging in response and turning to head toward the main part of the small room.
"Yeah well… What do you expect when your only paying twenty bucks a night for a place, we've definitely stayed in better." Sam was nervous, hell, nervous was an understatement, he was down right petrified of the buttons he was about to push, as he watched Dean slide with ease down on to his bed and reach for the remote as though life were peaches and cream and everything were as it should be.
Drawing his lip into his mouth the younger man took a seat rigidly on the corner of his own bed and eyed his brother cautiously. He knew what he needed to say, he knew he needed to be firm, that he needed to push or Dean was never going to get better, so why all the sudden had he lost his nerves? Why had he turned into a spineless jelly-fish? He didn't remember it being this hard the first time he had confronted Dean about his condition and forced him into therapy… But then again the first time he hadn't almost lost his brother to a bleeding brain aneurism either…
Maybe it would be alright to let him go on like this for just a little longer? Maybe he wasn't ready to recover just yet? Maybe he still needed time…. Sam felt his insides twist with confusion, a feeling that obviously spread to his face as he glanced up to see his brother staring at him, Dean's eyebrow half cocked in question and worry.
"What?" Sam scoffed out before he could stop himself rubbing his temples.
Dean's nose wrinkled a little and he brought his hands up in a surrendering motion, shaking his head before scanning the desk next to him for a piece of paper and a pen.
'What's with you' He scribbled down quickly, his penmanship leaving something to be desired before tossing it into his brothers lap.
Sam grunted at the small post it pad, he was so tired of seeing these damn things, these little yellow squares with words sprawled out across them, he swore that someday they were going to swallow him alive. With an agitated sigh he read the words and shook his head exhaling. He tore off the top sheet of paper and crumpled it up throwing it as hard as he could into the trashcan and watching as it sail in, "Nothing." He rubbed his knees a little and got up. "I'm going out."
Dean watched his brother go the confusion on his face only deepening as he did so, but rather then call him on it like he knew he should, like he would have done in the past, Dean simply let it be turning the volume up on the TV and resting his head back against the headboard.
Sam's hand was already on the doorknob when the little voice inside of him spoke again, reminding him what needed to be done, what he needed to do. You have to do this Sam, you have to be strong and forceful, you can't just let it go on anymore, he needs to grow up. You're the only one who can make that happen, and besides you have a life to get back to… Grow some balls and tell him. His hand fell from the knob and he turned to face his brother.
Dean looked up from his program, his eyebrow once again cocked and Sam knew he was asking in his own silent way what the hell was going on now?
"You know what? It's not nothing Dean, it's you alright?" Sam's tone was accusing and cold as he spoke.
Dean snorted and pointed to his chest in a 'who me?' innocent gesture his hazel orbs widening a bit.
"Yeah you, when the hell are you going to get up off your ass and do something instead of lounging around like some sick helpless puppy while dad and I take care of you? You've been out of the hospital for five freaking weeks and you haven't done a damn thing to even jump start your recovery… You just walk around with your head high in the sky and your nose so far up dad's ass I can't tell where he ends and you begin and I'm sick of it!" Sam drew in a deep breath and exhaled, it actually felt good to release so much from inside of him.
Dean picked his jaw up from where it was currently resting on his chest and shook his head a little as though he were trying to comprehend what his brother had just thrown at him. Rising to his feet the shorter yet older man scoffed a little and crossed his arms over his chest as though he were standing in judgment.
"You're not even trying, you haven't tried to say a single word! You'd just rather point and scoff and use dad and I as your own personal vocal whipping boys! And dad!" Sam chuckled bitterly, "He feels so guilty about what happened to you that he's softer then a grandma at Christmas time, handing you anything and everything you want on a damn silver platter!" He shook his head his messy brown mop shaking a long with it as he rubbed the bridge of his nose pinching it softly, "I swear sometimes I wonder why I put my life on hold for you… Gave up on everything, like I did thinking that you might actually want to get better."
Sam's words stung unlike anything Dean had ever felt before, no demon, spirit or spawn from hell could have thrown more venomous and painful daggers than the ones he was currently being stabbed with as his look of indifference slowly changed to one of rage and anger. How could Sam say these things to him, how could he be so harsh, so raw and so heartless after everything Dean had been through didn't he deserve a little slack?
"What the hell are you afraid of?" Sam pushed, he could tell by the look in Dean's eyes that he was on the verge of breaking, but that was what he needed, he needed to break, to feel pain, anger, anything…. So that he could rebuild again… "It's like… you're not even my brother anymore." Briefly Sam wondered if he had gone to far as he watched some of the anger dissipate from his brothers icy stare, giving way momentarily to eyes that Sam swore resembled those of a wounded and helpless animal.
The last sentence hurt worse then all the others combined and before either man knew what was happening Sam found himself pressed against the far wall Dean's forearm held strong and mercilessly against his throat.
His eyes burned, raging with a fire so angry that Sam sore he could feel the heat radiating into his flesh, the wounded animal from seconds before having disappeared into the deep and complicated confines that were his brother's soul. His lips were curled into a snarl, his free hand balled into a fist at his side as his Adam's apple bobbed up and down with force. He was shaking trembling, and Sam knew he had never seen Dean this mad before. Still something inside of him told him now was not the time to back down, he had to stand his ground.
"You got something you want to say to me?" He spat out his words a whisper his breath hot against his Dean's face only centimeters from his own, "Or are you to scared? Scared that you might fail, that you might actually have to fight? That you might have to remember how to be a man?"
Dean closed his eyes and snarled loudly his heart was once again pounding so fast in his chest he felt as though he had just run a five mile marathon in less then a minute. Sam's words were replaying themselves over and over in his mind as though there were some kind of broken record embedded there….
Scared? Dean wasn't scared of anything? He was strong, Fearless, a hunter…. And the fact that anyone, especially his little brother, his side kick, had thought that of him, was enough to make his stomach nauseated.
The heat of the moment weighing down on him Dean brought his fist up into the air and only seconds, millimeters, before it was to meet his brother's face dropped it again regaining control of himself and his emotions. He took a step back but kept his forearm tight against Sam's neck opening his eyes again. Had he really just almost hit his own brother? Was his rage, his anger really that deep?
The minute Dean's eyes reopened Sam met his gaze in a challenging glance, locking them stare to stare his nostrils flaring as he spoke "You wanna hit me Dean? Go ahead, it won't change anything…. You'll still be a mute bastard. A guy who spends to much time manipulating people to do what he wants and not enough trying to get things himself."
Dean's arm dropped and he shook his head a little still keeping his orbs connected with his brother's his jaw locking. "SSSSSSSSSS- SSSSHUT U-UP!" He screamed before bringing his hand to his head tears, actual real tears threatening to fall at any minute as finally he found the strength and will to turn his face away. Sam may have broken him, may have gotten what he wanted, but he was not going to get the joy of watching his brother cry to go along with it.
Sam relaxed instantly his shoulders slumping slightly as he took a step forward, this wasn't exactly how he had planned for things to play out, but still inside below the surface he was satisfied… And slightly relieved, at least he knew now that his brother could talk again lifting a weight of fear off his shoulders.
"See…. Now that wasn't so hard was it?" He rested his hand on his brother's shoulder from behind keeping his voice a low whisper once more, "I was hoping for a phrase a little less negative, but I'll take what I can get."
Dean's shoulder tightened a little as he felt his little brother's hand on it and he turned to face him his eyes rimmed red with tears as he stared in the taller man's direction trying to force them away.
"You are a stubborn bastard, but I knew I would get through to you eventually." Their was a pang of guilt resting inside Sam now as he saw the tears resting below the surface of his brothers tough and macho outer shell, and knew that he had put them there. A feat nearly impossible for any human being to accomplish. But it was for his own good, Sam kept reminding himself.. He was doing this for Dean.
Dean had no choice but to smirk at the cockiness in his brother's voice and appearance as Sam tilted his chin into the air a little.
running a hand through his hair composing himself and more importantly his thoughts as he drew his lip into his mouth, the sting of his brother's words still strong and aching inside of him, Dean attempted to speak "y-y-y-y-ooooooo- uuuuuu…" He blinked feeling his throat constrict and licking his dry lips as he shook his head, "mmmmmmmmmm." He growled eyeing his brother with discontent and even a little jealousy.
Sam's eyes softened a little and he gave the shoulder still under his grasp a slight squeeze. "Relax, we've been through this before, and you know that I'll stand here all night if I have to just to hear what you have to say."
The stuttering man smiled sheepishly at that, more than a little embarrassed as his head bobbed up and down and he tried again shoving his hands uncomfortably into his pockets, "mmmmmmmm… mmmmm-e-e-e…mmmmeeeean….tttttt-th-th-thossssssssss-sssseeee?" By the time he was done with that single question his throat burned and his patience had worn out. Looking to his brother, seeing the happiness and the relief written across Sam's face made it all worth it. It even kept Dean from picking up something and chucking it into the wall like he wanted nothing more then to do right now.
"Mean what? Those things that I said before about you?"
"Yeah…" Sam answered honestly rubbing his chin a little, "Some of them I did…."
Dean tried to hide the hurt from his eyes, but it was no use as he could tell by the next statement to come from his brother's lips as though he were justifying himself further.
"Dean, look…. I just I can't sit around here and watch you let go of something that you and I work so hard to find, you're not even fighting for it… it's like you don't want to get better, and I'm not use to that, I'm not going to put up with it anymore. I took everything that I had going for me and set it aside to come here and help you through this. Don't think I'm trying to sound selfish or cocky here, but I never wanted to come back to this life, I swore I was done hunting, done with all of it….. I have a new life."
"SSSSSSSS-SSSSS-STAAAAN-STTTTAN-FOOOORDDDD?" Dean didn't mean for it to come out so… angry as he winced at the sound of his own croaking voice and rubbed his throat which was quickly beginning to throb.
"Yes, a life at Stanford, Friends and a girlfriend." The younger man drew his lip into his mouth, "Well more like a potential girlfriend but still… You and I have both always known that this gig wasn't me. I wanted, I needed more and now I have it."
Dean found himself staring at his little Sammy in amazement and wondering exactly when he had transformed from a pimply faced child who lived under his brothers wing to this man standing before him ready and willing to go out and face the world.
"just because I'm not here physically, you do know that it doesn't mean I'm not here for you don't you? No matter how many miles are between us your always going to be my brother."
Dean's hand shot up in the air and he shook his head, stopping Sam before he could go any further into his Agitha Christy routine, his brother always was the sappy one.
"Yeah yeah, I know, no chick flick moments…" Sam smirked running a hand through his hair.
Dean opened his mouth to speak again and it was Sam's turn to cut him off. "You've done enough of that for today, no one says I'm leaving tomorrow we have time to fix you up right just give those vocal cords of yours a rest for the day."
Dean's jaw shut as quickly as it had opened and he smirked a little shaking his head as he stepped around his brother and grabbed the keys to the Impala dangling them in the air and raising his brow in question.
"You and that car man, it's the sickest relationship I've ever heard of." Sam laughed shaking his head again, "Alright alright, lets go…"
As The engine to the Impala roared beneath him and Dean threw her into gear he glanced over at his brother and smirked, he thought about all the times he had saved Sam from various evils and creatures, how he protected him for all those years….And now, Sam had returned the favor, Sam had saved Dean in a way that no one else could.
All was going to once again be right in the world of the Winchesters soon enough, and that was a very comforting thought, as the older man pressed his foot to the gas and sped off.
I know it took a while, but there is your ending so please met me know what you think… And as always thank you so much for your replies to this story throughout they mean so much to me.