Love Potion #9
Spoilers: As far as I'm concerned, the show stopped somewhere short of Heroes, so anything prior to that is fair game.
Disclaimer: I don't own them; I'm just taking them out for some fun. I'll put them back when I'm done. Promise.

Jack/Sam… as always

AN: This is not supposed to be a serious story, so don't expect that all the characters will behave entirely like themselves or that the situations contained herein even remotely resemble situations in which you or I might ourselves. So, if you're interested in an amusing story and have the capacity to suspend disbelief, keep reading!

AN2: With any luck, this will not become another epic. Although, I do realize that I claim that every time.

Chapter One

As Sam got dressed, she wondered exactly what the hell had possessed her to agree to the evening. A friend of hers from the Academy was in town, a friend with whom she had only barely managed to keep in the vaguest hint of contact over the years. Sam would have happily agreed to lunch or dinner and had a great time catching up with outspoken, outgoing, particularly boisterous Diane. But it just so happened that Diane had gone to high school with Janet and when Diane realized that Sam and Janet were friends, the peaceful lunch Sam had been expecting turned into girls' night out.

Sam wasn't much of a drinker or a party girl, so she anticipated a miserable evening in shoes that hurt sitting sullenly next to a despondent Janet in a smoky, stinky bar while flirtatious Diane had a wonderful evening. Because Sam had done it before, without Janet, and found that personality more than made up for looks, or perhaps that an odd, scientifically detached personality seriously detracted any bonus points Sam's beauty might have earned her.

It was impossible to refuse Diane's excitement over the evening and so Sam got dressed in her uncomfortable shoes and waited for her friends to arrive.

The bottom dropped out of her stomach when she saw the limo. Diane wasn't one for moderation and Sam hadn't expected that she'd changed any in twenty years, but a limo was beyond what Sam had considered possible. She wondered if she could get away with playing sick. With the flips her stomach was doing at the idea of how many people would stare at them, it wouldn't even have been a lie. Still, Sam knew better and met them halfway up the walk.

"Oh, no, you don'! Get back inside and find something appropriate!" Diane's eyes twinkled mischievously. "Christopher, we'll be a few minutes. Sit tight!" The driver smiled widely at Diane, already sucked in by her charm.

Sam's eyes darted to Janet's, the person she hoped would stick up for her. Unfortunately, Janet was wearing an impossibly short, impossibly tight mini-skirt in an obnoxiously red pleather. Janet grimaced. "She got it out of Cassie's closet."

Sam laughed outright. "I would have thought she got it out of 1984."

Knowing she wasn't going to win, Sam let the pair in her house, thanking her lucky stars that she didn't have a teenage daughter with a closet for Diane to raid. She griped about not seeing anything wrong with the light blue sweater set and black pants she was wearing, especially since she'd already made a concession to Diane's style requirements and was wearing high heels that made her taller than most men, but she only did so half-heartedly. Diane was like a female Daniel on speed. There was no point in arguing because she would wind up losing or injured.

Diane looked through Sam's closet three times before she turned back to Sam. "Ok, where's the good stuff?"

Having always been a tomboy, Sam's feminine side rarely had the chance to buy her the sort of clothes Diane might consider good. Sam smiled proudly, motioning at the outfit she had on. "This is it."

Diane wasn't impressed. "What do you wear on dates?"

Sam ignore Janet's giggle. "This."

Diane was dismayed. "You wear the same outfit on every date?"

Sam was starting to feel stupid which wasn't a quality most people could bring out in her. "I don't really go on that many dates."

Diane smiled. "Did it ever occur to you that it's because you wear the same lame outfit every time?"

Janet was giggled again and Sam put her hands on her hips. "There's a bar in the limo, isn't there?"

Diane nodded, but she wasn't distracted by Sam's attempt. "You can't go like that."

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" Sam doubled checked her reflection in the mirror. She thought she looked nice; it was certainly a step up from the fatigues she'd prefer to wear.

"Are you going to a PTA meeting tonight?"

Sam looked at Janet, whose face revealed that she'd gone through the same conversation an hour earlier resulting in the non-Janet attire she was donning. Sam shook her head. "No, Diane, I don't have any kids."

"Then why are you dressed for a PTA meeting? Unless you're trying to pick up single fathers."

Sam took a deep breath. "The limo's waiting and I'm not trying to pick up anyone. Let's go."

Janet sat down on Sam's bed, letting Sam know exactly who she thought was going to win. "Give it up, Sam."

Sam looked at her, thinking of how much more inappropriate a skirt like Janet's would look on her given the height difference. "Never."

Diane sighed. "I thought you said you don't go on many dates."

"I did say that."

"So why aren't you trying to pick someone up?"

Sam's first instinct was to point out that she had someone, sort of, although it was hardly a relationship. It took her a moment to come up with something else, something that wouldn't result in lots of questions and teasing about Jack. "Because then I'll need something to wear on dates and we've already established that I only have one outfit."

Diane was not a dumb woman. She noticed Sam's hesitation. She noticed the slight flush on Sam's cheeks. She noticed the way Janet was suddenly, deliberately not looking at her. "There's already someone, isn't there?"

Sam knew she was caught. She wasn't a good liar, so she gave the shortest version of the story she could muster. "Yes, but we're not together and we can't be together, so please drop it."




"Of course not."

Diane went back to perusing the choices in Sam's closet. "Star-crossed lovers?"

Depressed, Sam sat down on the bed. "Something like that. You know, I'm not really in the mood to go tonight."

Janet smiled at her and then started to giggle. "More like star-crossed coworkers."

Sam glared at her traitorous friend, but she noticed Diane's intrigued expression. Sadly, it appeared that her forbidden, nearly unacknowledged relationship with Jack raised her in Diane's esteem. "Sleeping with the boss, are we?"

Sam's cheeks burned in embarrassment. "No."

Diane caught Janet's giggles. "Oh, but you want to."

"I want to crawl in a hole and die." Sam didn't like being the butt of jokes.

"So what's his name?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Can we go?" Sam was pretty sure a martini was the only thing that would make her feel better about going out, and that was only if she got one within thirty seconds.

Diane closed the closet door and for one glorious, fleeting moment, Sam thought it was over. And then Diane opened her bag, pulling out a shiny piece of fabric. "Nothing you have is acceptable. Good thing I came prepared." She thrust the thing in her hand at Sam.

Sam analyzed what didn't seem much larger than a scarf and determined that it was a skirt. A silly, young-looking black skirt with silver buckles on the side. "Diane-"

"Go." Diane smiled happily and Sam remembered all the fun they'd had together, mostly while doing things Sam would never, ever have thought up alone.

Maybe fun wasn't such a bad thing.