Disclaimer: Van Helsing and co. are property of Universal Studios. The song "Wild, Wild, Party", is from a musical by the same name.
A/N: We would like to give special thanks for all of your kind reviews. Who would have known that a flame would be so good for publicity?
Carl awoke to a strange sensation; the feeling of something scratching against his neck. Reaching behind him, his hand fell upon a face, a face with whiskers. A face with whiskers and long hair. A face with whiskers, long hair, and a large hat.
He quickly detangled himself from the monster hunter's arms. Slowly, the fog that shrouded his memories of the previous night faded.
"Ah, now I remember." The friar shuddered violently and stumbled back. He tripped over two huddled objects and looked down to see Frankenstein and Anna both scantily clad, lying unconscious in each other's arms. It was at that moment that the friar realized how terribly hung over he was. Overwhelmed by pain, he snuck off to Castle Frankenstein to build a time machine so that he might find an era in which Aspirin existed.
At that moment Van Helsing awoke from his booze induced slumber. Sleep faded from his eyes only to be replaced by the sight of Anna, corset removed—along with several other articles of clothing—snuggled suspiciously close to the giant.
"What is going on here?" the monster hunter roared. His shouts echoed within his aching skull and he immediately regretted them. Anna and Frankenstein were roused by his voice.
Above them, if one looked closely, one might have spotted a small woman in green with delicate wings upon her back, twirling a curl from her blond bob with her fingers and giggling.
"Can you say 'What the fuck did I do last night?'" she asked sweetly before waving her wand and disappearing in a cloud that smelt quite a bit like burning cannabis.
Below, the princess and giant hastily detangled themselves.
"What the fuck did I do last night?" she shouted.
To which Van Helsing replied that he did not know but certainly was not happy about it.
Anna tried to apologize, telling Van Helsing not untruthfully that she could not remember much of the previous night. Frankenstein muttered a similar apology and slipped off to sulk over the fact that the only woman who had ever overcome his hideous and wretched exterior and show him love and tenderness had been absolutely wasted at the time. He chose a cavern two caves down and proceeded to express his sorrow through song.
Meanwhile, Anna was proving to her beloved just how sorry she in fact was. It was at that moment that Carl chose to return from his quest for Aspirin.
"Oh my goodness! You could have left a hat on the door handle or something!"
He quickly fled the area, taking refuge three caverns down. The monk attempted to make himself comfortable, using an overturned stalactite—or perhaps stalagmite, he could never tell the difference—as a bench. On the floor lay a bible, presumably Frankenstein's, and Carl lifted it gingerly, flipping through it pages. FrankenFuFu, who had mellowed out slightly since his creation, scampered over and studied the monk with squirrelly curiosity.
Carl, noticing that he had attracted the attention of the undead woodland creature, put down the book with a sigh.
"Surprised to see me reading this?" He asked the royal rodent, who nodded his whiskered head in reply. "Well, despite all of my complaining, I do enjoy some of my monkly duties. When I read the bible, I can't help but think to myself…ah but it's silly."
Now Fufu did not know much about religion, but he did know an epiphany when he heard one. He squeaked encouragingly, urging the monk to share his revelation.
"Well, I always thought that the bible would make an excellent musical!"
Then again, the squirrel king had been wrong before.
"Oh come now, can't you just picture it? Adam and Eve are in the Garden of Eden. Everything's peaceful, and then all of a sudden it's 5—6—7—8: 'God has said don't eat that apple child, it's bad, forbidden fruit.'" Carl sang in a high voice. Fufu's eyes widened. This was a side of his friend that he had never seen before, and was beginning to wish that he had not.
"God has said:
break my laws
Or give me cause
To use my boot
Don't go that route!'
Carl jumped up as if seized by some wild muse—albeit one with no sense of rhythm—and began leaping around in fits of frenzied chorography.
"Cool paradise turned HOT!
were having a wild, wild party
We were loving it loud and fast
We were having a wild, wild party
And hoping the beer would last!
Adam, help me now!"
A scantily clad Van Helsing chose that moment to enter the cavern.
"Do you mind? Anna and I are trying to have makeup sex and you are killing the mood!"
A/N: I, SpazticArwen would just like to say that Franknestien Lover is a girl (I assume) after my own heart. I too am thoroughly depressed by the lack of frankenfics out there. He is da MAN!!...sort of. Never fear; he will not be lonely and angsty for long, despite how much I lurve writing him as such (And in a frenzy of self promotion, I'm going to suggest that you read some of my other stuff. Most of my VH fics are somewhat Frankie centric.). The Almighty Mimbi and I have plans for him this fic, lots of plans. With in the next two chapters, we will learn something very unexpected about Frankenstein.
P.S. I can't spell either!