SUMMERY: Hi readers! Have you ever wondered what would make our favorite gay pirate mad? Well, no longer must you wonder! Read this fic and then try them out on him, assumeing you can find him!

1: Tell him to stop useing you'r massacara.

2: Tell him that in front of his crew.

3: Slap him in the face every five minutes, and insist it's from that women who always smacks him.

4:Sneak up behind him and scream "IT'S THE FLYING DUCHMEN!"

5: Teach him how to play 'slap Jack,' if ya know what I mean...

6: Plant a flower in his jar of dirt and tell him it represents you guy's relationship and if it dies, your relationship will, too.

7: Use the dirt for your cat's litter box.

8: Read him Jack/ Will fan fics.

9: Set him up on a blind date.

10: ...With Will.

11: Ask him stupid questions.

12: If he doesn't answer, say "whatsamatter? Davey Jones Got your soul?"

13: Poke him in the arm repeatedly saying "Get it?" with each poke.

14: Tell him how you don't know how he can be so afaid of that dear old man, Davey Jones.

15: Fill his room with hampsters

16: When he confronts you about it, go into his room, look around, and say " I don't see any hampsters!"

17: Make sure there is NEVER any rum on the ship. EVER.

18: Reward any thing good he and the crew does with juice and cookies.

19: Kiddnap him and tell the crew the monkeys in charge.

20: Encourage him to "Come out of the closet."

END NOTES: Well, thats garenteed to get you shot or marooned on a small island! Oh well, it will be fun while it lasts! Seiriously, though, please review: D