For family's sake
Characters: Dean, Sam, John
Summary: AU. Dean starts acting strange and one day he disappears. A desperate search for a brother and a son is starting.
I don't owe Supernatural or the characters.
A/N: My native language isn't English, so sorry for the mistakes.
For family's sake
Chapter 1: Something is wrong
"If you walk out of this door, it's closed. You understand me. Don't come back." John yelled. The next second the door was opened and a pissed Sam came out, with his duffel bag in one hand and he threw the door shut behind him...
Dean had known that it would end ugly. Both his father and brother were damn stubborn and always thought they were right. Which caused that over the years, they stopped listening or really caring what the other needed.
Dean had felt that Sam wouldn't endure all this any longer. But for Dean all this didn't matter anymore, anyway. He knew what he had to do.
Sam went over to Dean, who was standing next to the Impala. His angry expression has turned to hurt. Sam knew that his father meant what he had said: for him he wasn't part of the family anymore.
"He is right you know... you shouldn't come back." Dean suddenly said, just as Sam wanted to put his stuff in the car.
Sam stopped dead and looked at his brother with wide eyes. "What?" Sam whispered.
"I said. You shouldn't come back. We are definitely better off without you." Dean said with a calm voice. Without hate or anything. A simple statement. But for Sam it was like a blow in his face.
"Not you, too, please Dean!" Sam half begged. Sam had known Dean would be sad and maybe a little angry, but he had expected that Dean would support him nevertheless... and he had, till now.
"Sammy don't foul yourself. You always had your own head... bad for following orders. Which makes you a pretty lousy hunter. I mean how often did I have to safe your ass." Dean said.
"Could we please change the subject." Sam said now pissed again.
"Yeah, sure. Always avoiding problems, right? The reason why you leave, too, right!" Dean just said and opened the driver's door.
"You know what... I think I will take a cab." Sam said and pulled his stuff out of the car again. He really wasn't in the mood for this... and he was hurt.
Dean walked around the car slowly, but before Sam could leave, Dean gripped him firmly and pushed him against the car hard.
Sam was taken by surprise. His back hurt... but even when the shock was gone, Sam didn't struggle.
"Dean I am sorry... but I have to go. This is my chance... I thought you'd understand." Sam said.
Dean gripped Sam's right arm firmer and pulled him towards the passenger door. He opened the door with his free hand and pushed Sam in the car.
"Get in! You won't run away from our last opportunity to see each other." Dean said now angrily and slammed the door shut after Sam got in.
Sam looked sadly at Dean. He knew he had hurt Dean when he had decided to go to Stanford. Dean defiantly had the right to be mad.
Dean went over to the driver's seat again and started the engine.
The whole drive Dean didn't say a word. Sam had tried to talk to him, but Dean had simply switched on the music and every time Sam tried to talk again, Dean simply wouldn't react. So all in all they drove in silence.
When they finally reached the train station after an hour, Sam was pissed again. He simply didn't get Dean.
He got out of the car. He closed the door and turned around once again, looking at his brother, who was looking straight through the windshield.
"Dean." Sam said and Dean turned around to look at him. "We will see us, right... call if something happens." Sam said. Unsure what to say, how to say goodbye.
"Sam... I mean it. Don't come back. There is no place for you anymore." Dean said calmly, as if he was talking about the weather.
Sam was stunned and looked at his brother, hurt. "Dean..." Sam wanted to say something, anything...
"Go. Or you will miss your train." Dean now said kindly and started the engine again.
"Whatever..." Sam whispered and stepped away from the car. He didn't want it to end like this. After all this was Dean. He was his brother and he loved him, admired him and felt safe with him... But Dean didn't seem to bother...
Sam turned around and went to catch his train.
Two years later
Sam had just celebrated Halloween with Jessica and the fact that he could go to Law School... Jess was already sleeping and he just wanted to lay down too... as he heard a knock on the door.
The hard training in his childhood had shaped him, as much as he wanted to ignore it.
He immediately heard the knock, got out of the bed and towards the door.
Jessica awoke from the shift in the bed.
"Sam, what is it?" she asked half asleep.
"Somebody knocked... wait here." Sam just said while Jessica looked worried. After all it was 2 in the morning.
Sam switched on the light in the living room and slowly went over to the front door... he slowly opened it, ready to attack, if necessary.
When he opened the door, his heart nearly dropped. He had expected a lot, but not really the sight before him.
"Hey Sammy." the man in front of Sam said.
Sam didn't move to let the man in... he just looked at him. He had let this world behind him and his old life had left him in peace. That he was here right now at two in the morning probably meant nothing good.
"It's Sam... my name is Sam." Sam just said. He didn't want to be rude. He had always liked Caleb, but seeing him right now, here... it reminded him of bad memories...
"We need to talk." Caleb said. He smiled at Sam. He hadn't seen the boy for three years. He looked good and not so tensed as he had been the last time he had seen him.
This observation made him feel uneasy. Because he knew his news would destroy everything Sam had built up here in Stanford... but he was pretty sure Sam wanted to know it – the reason why he came.
"Sam, who is it?" Jessica asked as she came out of their room.
Sam turned to her and Caleb saw how Sam smiled at her.
"This is an old friend of my father... Caleb... Jessica, my girlfriend." Sam introduced the two.
"I guess Sam forgot his manners... come in." Jessica said and Sam backed off to let Caleb in.
"Thanks." Caleb said.
They settled down.
"Sam we need to talk..." Caleb started and made clear that he wanted to talk in private.
"You can talk in front of Jessica, we have no secrets." Sam said.
But Caleb knew that it wasn't the truth. So he thought carefully about his words.
"Your father needs you." Caleb started.
Sam looked at Caleb as if he was insane. "Dad never needed me." Sam said coldly.
"This is different... did you talk to Dean recently?" Caleb asked hopefully.
"I haven't talked to Dean since I came to Stanford. Why are you here Caleb!" Sam asked a little bit angry and Jess placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
Caleb looked worried. "So ... he really is..." Caleb mumbled. He looked up again.
"Sam... your father is in the hospital. You need to see him." Caleb said.
"Oh god... Sam." Jessica said shocked. And looked at her boyfriend, expecting a worried Sam.
But for Sam this news wasn't that shocking. His whole family had been a recurring patient in hospitals all over the US.
"How bad." Sam asked calmly.
"He doesn't know that I am here. But I can't look at this any longer!" Caleb said.
Sam hesitated. The choice of words Caleb used... Sam was worried now.
"How bad." Sam repeated.
"He had been in a coma for three days. I couldn't sit there any longer, so I thought I would come here, as I don't know your number... Ten minutes before I came here, Jim called me that your father woke up." Caleb told Sam...
"Sam. You have to go see him." Jessica said, shocked by the story.
Sam just nodded. He knew he had no other choice. Although he didn't really want to.
"What about Dean...?" Sam finally asked.
Caleb looked at him for a while. He sighed. "... you should really talk to your father, about this." he finally said.
"What do you mean?" Sam asked confused. There was definitely something Caleb wasn't telling him.
"Talk to your Dad, Sammy. It's not my place to tell you..." Caleb said and stood up.
Sam suddenly jumped up and wanted to attack Caleb, but Caleb saw it coming, blocked him and pinned him against the next wall.
"Sam!" Jessica yelled shocked... not sure what has just happened.
"Easy tiger." Caleb said and smiled at Sam, who struggled, to get out of Caleb's grip.
"Why are you here Caleb. Dad is in the hospital, fine – no real big news. So why are you here? Obviously something big happened, otherwise you wouldn't be here at two in the morning, right! So in case you don't finally tell me what is going on here, I am not really in the mood to come with you." Sam said pissed.
For Sam everything comparable to normalcy he has built in the last two years was destroyed, by the simple fact that Caleb showed up.
Of course he was worried, about his Dad... but these things have happened before and at the moment the anger was simply stronger.
Caleb released Sam out of his grip and stepped back. Jessica immediately rushed over to Sam.
"Sam... are you okay." Jessica asked scared and confused. She had never seen Sam like that.
"Go see your father Sammy. If you want a ride, I am waiting downstairs... I am taking off in an hour. Otherwise here is the address of the hospital." Caleb said. He went to the door and placed a card on the table. He turned around once more.
"Has been nice meeting you, Jessica. Wished it had been under other circumstances..." Caleb said. Jessica nodded shortly and Caleb left the apartment.
"Sam...Sam!" Jess said after Caleb was gone and Sam was still starring at the door.
Sam slowly looked at his girlfriend... he simply didn't know what to do... but there was this nagging feeling, that this was serious. That something was definitely wrong.
"I have to go." Sam whispered.
Jess smiled at him and nodded. "Yeah... I wouldn't have expected anything else." she said and kissed him.
Half an hour later Sam came out of the apartment and placed his duffel bag in Caleb's car.
They drove to the hospital without a word.
"Do me a favor... try to avoid a fight, okay. He probably won't say it, but he missed you." Caleb said as he parked the car.
"I try." Sam said absently.
They both went inside the hospital and Caleb directed them to John's room and just as they arrived, Pastor Jim came out.
"... Sam..." Jim said surprised.
"Pastor Jim." Sam said with a smile and the both hugged.
"That's where you went?" Jim asked Caleb and he seemed not pleased.
"He needs to know, don't you think." Caleb said stiffly.
Sam looked between the two. Totally confused. "What is going on here?" Sam asked.
"How is he?" Sam finally asked after nobody answered him.
"Go in. But please try to avoid a fight, okay." Pastor Jim said.
"You both are acting as if he couldn't stand a fight." Sam said angrily, ignored the other two men and knocked at his father's door.
"What did you forget now Jim?" John's voice came out of the room.
Sam paused a second, opened the door and entered his father's room.
The second John saw Sam, his face turned from happiness to confusion over to anger and finally ended with a expression, Sam couldn't read.
"Sam!" John finally said after a few seconds.
"Dad." Sam said quietly. He placed his duffel bag on the floor and went over to the bed.
"What are you doing here?" John asked.
"Caleb came to Stanford... he told me you were in the hospital..." Sam said.
John seemed thoughtful, but also sad. "So Caleb... I knew he wanted to tell you for a while. I guess I should be pleased that he didn't tell you earlier..." John said to himself. "Did he tell you anything else?" he asked Sam.
"Pastor Jim and Caleb were acting strange and Caleb kept telling me that I should ask you." Sam said slowly and looked at his Dad. Then his look went over to his chart at the end of his bed.
A confused expression appeared on Sam's face and he took the chart in his hand and then he looked back at his father.
"John Winchester?" Sam asked. "You always taught us to hide our identities, especially in hospitals... got careless?" Sam asked confused. His Dad never made mistakes. Not like these.
"Who said that I was on a hunt?" John asked with a weak smile. He was proud that his son noticed the fact with the name. Although Sam had run away from the hunter's life, he couldn't forget it.
"Not... but... I don't understand." Sam said totally confused now.
"I am not hunting anymore Sammy... well not really at least." John said calmly.
"Yeah, right... and Mom is alive and Dean is having a family..." Sam said sarcastically... John didn't laugh but kept looking in Sam's eyes. "Seriously? Since when, why?" Sam finally asked totally stunned. Hunting was John's obsession... Hunting came first – before everything... even family and normalcy... the reason why Sam left.
"Sam... when did you see or speak to Dean the last time?" John asked and Sam saw that John suddenly felt unsure. He even seemed weak. A condition Sam had never seen his father before.
"When I left... I don't think he missed me..." Sam said and remembered the last time he saw Dean and he felt angry again. "Where is he anyway? I thought he never leaves your side." he added.
"Don't talk like this about your brother." John suddenly said angrily.
Sam just glared at his father and John looked weak again.
"Sam... there is something I probably should have told you a while ago... but ..." John said quietly. It was like a whisper and Sam had to listen carefully to even understand his father.
John closed his eyes. This was the hard part and he knew... Sam would start a fight when he told him... unimportant what Sam just said. He sighed.
"Sam... Dean is missing." John finally said.
Sam looked at his father for a few seconds, as if he was paralyzed. Not really understanding what his father had just said.
"What?" Sam whispered and all color went from his face. "No... he probably just found a girl he could hook up with or is playing some pool... or..." Sam said. He suddenly felt that he couldn't stand anymore and he had problems to breath... Not Dean.. not his brother... not Dean.
Sam sat down on the chair next to his father's bed and placed his face in his hands. Trying to get enough air in his lungs.
Suddenly he felt a hand rubbing his back. He looked up... and saw is father smiling slightly at him and he saw tears on his father's face. That was when he noticed that his face was wet too.
Sam had believed his father immediately when he said Dean was missing and he also knew that it was bad... now he also understood Caleb's and Pastor Jim's reaction...
"What happened... since when?" Sam finally asked.
Now actually was the hard part – John knew Sam would freak out in a second... and he wasn't so sure anymore what he could say against it...
"After he brought you to the train station... he came back two hours later. We didn't speak about it anymore..." John paused. He was looking to the ceiling now.
"We did the usual thing since then. Hunting... driving from one city to another..." John kept talking.
"And then... three weeks after you left... we were staying in another motel in some small town. He came back from playing some pool I guess. He seemed pretty drunk, which as you know isn't normal. Before we went sleeping ..." John paused once again.
"... he said..." John paused once again and laughed quietly – and another tear appeared in his eye.
"He said: Love you Dad." John said. "The next second he was asleep..." John remembered.
Sam was smiling a little and wiped away his tears. Dean normally doesn't express his feelings – this really was something special.
"The next morning he was gone. Not a note or a message on the phone. Neither a trace of a fight ... nothing. His stuff was still there, but his bed was done." John said and now Sam was looking at his father as if he was crazy.
"At first I thought he just went off to... I don't know... but when he didn't come back and I couldn't reach him..." John just wanted to continue, but meanwhile Sam already jumped up.
"Three weeks after I went to Stanford? You have to be kidding me, right... Are you just telling me that he is missing for nearly two years and you didn't bother to tell me?" Sam yelled.
I would love to know what you think of this chapter...
How is the conflict between Sam and John going to end? What happened to Dean? I guess you just have to wait for the next chapter to find out more... and I promise there is going to be more Dean in it ;).