Title : For family's sake
Characters: Dean, Sam, John
Warnings:Dark and a lot of angst
Summary:AU. Dean starts acting strange and one day he disappears. A desperate search for a brother and a son is starting.
Disclaimer:I don't owe Supernatural or the characters. All Kripke's.
A/N: My native language isn't English, so sorry for the mistakes.
Okay it really took a while and I am really sorry. But finally a new update.
So everbody knows. The story was in my head for a long time, although I still don't know how it's going to end. And it actually was already written for about three month. I only managed to finish the last few lines today. I am pretty busy, you see.
I have to be honest: As I still don't have much time, I don't know when I will update next, I try to hurry: PROMISE!
So would still love some reviews!
For family's sake
Chapter 8: Demons (part 1)
"Okay maybe I am slow on the uptake. But I have no idea what you are talking about." Sam said slowly.
"Oh come on Sammy. You are not stupid... actually you are the clever one in this family. So just once open your eyes when you need to... get that this family is just a big damn lie." Dean said angrily.
Sam was pale now too.
"No." John whispered shacking. "Everything... it was just a lie. For what? To get Sammy or Dean. Mary for WHAT?" John asked angrily and half breaking.
"Nothing was a lie." Mary said with tears in her eyes. "Just let me explain please."
"Explain what? That you were alive all the time. That I raised our sons to hunters so they could take revenge for YOUR death, instead to support the school career?" John asked and he was numb now.
"That wasn't the plan. All this didn't happen because somebody wanted them to be hunters. Why the hell do you think the demon accepted the deal with Dean. Dean ruined everything he had build for years... just listen John please. Let me tell my story after that you can do whatever you want. But at least let me explain." Mary said desperately.
"Do I have an option here?" John said and looked at Meg and Tom behind Mary. They had been quiet the whole time, but John felt that they were getting impatient. "Okay. So go ahead. Explain how it comes that I married a demon." John said embittered. This was just so damn ironical.
Sam looked at his mother with wide eyes. Still not able to believe it and then he slowly turned his gaze over to his brother, who looked defeated.
Mary closed her eyes and sighed. "I will just start from the beginning, okay?... Well the demon had tried the binding ritual a few times before but non of them worked out. Then there was one which nearly survived after the binding. And the demon thought he figured it out. So he chose the 'demon part of me' to bind with his new prepared human: Mary Bennett." Mary started the story. She had problems to separate her old alter egos. After all they are 'one' for already so long... and she actually really didn't know who was really dominating.
"The 'demon part of me' was actually his favorite follower. He had been sure that it would work. Well, I still think it did... When Mary Bennett turned 20, she and the demon became one. Everything mingled together – body, soul, mind, powers... simply everything. They became one. If you ask the demon, Mary's soul was stronger... I am not so sure about it. But I don't really know. The fact is that I left my demon life behind, after the binding. I wanted to live. I wanted a normal life." Mary said and she smiled slightly at Sam, as she knew that it was the same that Sam had wanted all his life.
"Because of the opening the demon caused when Mary was still a baby, she had always been different. She had known it and somehow the people around her had too... but after the binding, I could control all the powers. And in order to stay hidden, I wasn't allowed to use my powers anyway." Mary continued. "And then I met John Winchester... and I fell in love. I felt safe and I had hope that everything would turn out okay." Mary said and looked in John's eyes, who after a while looked away. Which pretty much broke her heart. She paused for a second, but then she continued. "We married... and we were happy. We sure as hell were happy." Mary said calmly.
"You knew the demon was after you and you still married? You put the person you loved in danger – and you were aware of it. How can you be so naive?" Dean asked unbelievingly.
"You are seriously asking me this now? After all the years you know it, you seriously asking me now?" Mary asked unbelievingly herself. Something was seriously wrong with Dean.
"When you told me, I had other things to think about. And after that I figured you wouldn't answer me anyway. So now I am asking – because you owe your husband an answer." Dean said calmly and kept his eyes on his mother, who finally looked away.
"I ... I don't know. I thought HE (the demon) had given up on me anyway. I just wanted a normal life. I wanted to be with the person I loved. What should I have done, in your opinion? Run and hide for the rest of my life? I mean it is a damn long life... I am who I am now. I deserve to live, don't I? I don't regret having married, or having you two – and you know that. All this just shouldn't have ended like it did. I wished for all your sakes that it hadn't happened like this. But I sure as hell don't regret having the nice moments, with your father, Sammy or you!" Mary said desperately.
"What ever you say, Mom!" Dean said.
"Dean quit it! I don't know what has gotten into you. But don't talk to your mother like that!" John said angrily. He was angry at Mary – but it was still the woman he married and loved. And she was Dean's mother and he wasn't supposed to talk like this to her. Dean had always been the obedient one. He hardly talked back, he always followed his orders... it had always been Sammy who had questioned everything. It was strange to see Dean act like this now. Especially as it was his mother he was talking too... but John couldn't really say that he still knew his family, right?
"John it's okay. I did some mistakes... and Dean was the one who suffered from them. I guess I deserve it." Mary said smiling sadly at her husband.
John looked a little bit unsure.
"The story isn't finished yet." Mary said slowly. "The fact is that everything was fine. I really thought it was over – that I had escaped my past. Well it obviously changed when Sam turned six month old!" Mary said.
Sam looked at his mother. More curious than angry... and for that she was thankful.
"The fact is that the demon choses the kids randomly. They have to be healthy and strong and somehow have to be open for the binding – still don't know exactly what it means. Probably only, that they had a good childhood till then. Another fact is that not all mothers of the special children die. There aren't even always fires. For example my mother still lives as you know." Mary said looking at John.
"More than the fires?" John asked unbelievingly. From all that was told. These human-demons were pretty strong and John had a long list of fires where mother's died and infants had their 6th month birthday.
"As I told you. Dean didn't let the ones live, which already turned. So at the moment there are none. Sam is the only one who is old enough for a binding... after Max killed himself. No need to worry right now!" Mary said. "Well the fact is that there are the rumors about mother instinct. I believe in it... When the demon arrives in their child's nursery. They simply feel it. They feel the demonic influence... they fell that their child is in great danger and they interfere with the opening. So the demon kills them. Pins them to the ceiling and when he leaves, the mother burns up. The child survives the fire, even if there isn't always a father who rescues it... the child survives!" Mary said sadly.
"So you...?" John asked.
Mary shacks her head. "No. With me it was different. When I entered Sam's nursery, we saw each other. He of course immediately recognized me – and I recognized him. I knew it was over. He had started the opening already... and he couldn't stop it when he realized who or what Sammy was." Mary said.
"Why would he want to stop it?" Sam asked confused.
"Because you are my son. Because I am definitely a demon... and so were you when you were born. I mean I am the first demon like me. Part demon part human... and I gave birth to two children and the father was a human. So all this was pretty much new. But you were born as a demon – you hadn't got you powers yet, but you were a demon, or at least a half demon, I guess." Mary explained.
Sam was pale again. All this was just crazy and so typical Winchesters.
"The fact is that when the demon opened you for demonic powers... he pushed your inherited powers aside. The opening allows you to embrace your powers when you are about 20. It's when you start developing them and often the point when you get bound... What I mean is that because of your opening – you had no access to your real powers. We thought you would get them back when you turn 20. But as it seems. The opening locked your powers. They needed a trigger to wake up again..." Mary said.
"Like Dean shooting me?" Sam asked sarcastically.
"No. Like Dean protecting you!" Mary said determined.
"Could we please keep me out of this!" Dean said casually, but demanding.
"Man, what the hell is your problem Dean. She is defending you... and she is Mom." Sam said not believing how Dean can be so cold. "I mean she isn't dead. You should be thankful for that!" Sam said seriously.
"Sam would you please listen to yourself! First you are in fight mode and the next second it's all defending. You have to decide. Because eventually you have to. What do you want? Good or evil, Sammy? Because Mom is one of the bad guys, you want it or not." Dean said coldly. Which made John and Sam shiver, while Mary only looked exhausted.
Sam didn't know why. But something in him snapped when Dean said all this. "Stop talking about her like that!" Sam said angrily and suddenly Sam was all over Dean and punching him.
"Sam stop!" Mary said shocked.
Out of reflex Dean hit back... and for a second Dean wasn't sad. It felt like old times: When the two brothers had fights all the time, because of all kinds of stupid stuff. When they still had been kids – in some way innocent. Dean felt that it was okay. That he had made the right decision, because Sam deserved a normal life.
The two brothers were one the floor now and scuffling.
"Dean! Stop!" Mary said desperately. She sure as hell wasn't used to this – seeing her boys fight like this... while John actually had to smile. Because he too was remembered of old times.
Dean knew he had to use his only chance now... and he pushed his brother off him and with a slight move of his hand something Sam had been hiding, dropped to the floor; next to Sam, who was breathing hard from the little fight.
Everybody was staring at the object on the floor – with shock.
"Oh my god. Is this..." Meg said unbelievingly.
And before anybody could act... Meg and Tom were suddenly flying back against the next wall. Mary staring at them intensely.
"Is it?" Mary asked calmly and concentrated.
Sam took the colt from the floor. Looking at it thoughtfully.
"We think. Yes!" Sam said quietly.
"Mary what do you think you are doing? You can't keep us here forever. We are going to get that GUN!" Tom said calmly, trying to get free of Mary's grip.
"Why did you bring it here?" John asked unbelievingly. "Sam! What were you thinking..." John said, he thought the colt had been safe in the trunk of the Impala.
Sam didn't react, he was just looking at the colt and then at Dean – who looked back at him, but Sam couldn't read the expression... and suddenly the freaking headaches started all over again.
i Sam saw Jess dead now and Dean standing over her... and the scene shifted and this time it was somebody else lying dead on the floor. She looked similar. And when he got nearer, he could see that it was his Mom... and again it was Dean standing over her, a gun in the hand... and another scene with Caleb and Pastor Jim dead on the floor and the last scene was with his Dad... /i
The distant voice of his mother brought him back to the reality, although her words didn't make any sense. "Dean, what are you doing? Stop it!"
Sam had problems to breath... "No. Please no." Sam whispered and tears were running down his face again. This was just a really bad nightmare.
"Sam. What is it?" John asked concerned. All this was getting out of control again. And then suddenly he felt it again – the inability to move. Sam's powers were seriously getting out of control. The problem was that Mary felt it too. She couldn't move.
Sam looked up at his brother slowly. He raised the colt and pointed it at Dean. "I am sorry!" Sam whispered when he looked into Dean's eyes, which showed no regret.
"It's okay Sammy, just do it!" Dean said quietly.
Sam trembled. This was crazy. There had to be another way... there had to be... and then again he saw everybody he loves die by Dean's hands.
"Dean! Stop it!" Mary said with tears in her eyes. She now understood. She now understood a lot. Dean's plan. This was simply crazy.
"Sammy listen. Don't do this. Whatever you are seeing. It's not true." Mary tried to convince her son, while she cursed that she had made a promise to the other.
"Sammy do it." Dean said once again, glaring shortly at his mother.
"Sammy... Dean is my son too. Don't forget that!" Mary said slowly... and slowly felt how her blood boiled and she felt great pain going through her body.
Just before Mary hit the ground unconsciously, John was able to move and lowered her to the ground.
Sam got distracted by what was happening behind him and his grip loosened on the gun. And suddenly he felt a pull and the gun dropped to the floor, but before it slid away, Dean jumped forward, grabbed it and shot!
"Make a move and she is dead. And the next second you are!" Dean said threatening and breathing hard.
"Dean, Dean... what did you get yourself into. You seriously think you can get away with it. Don't forget the deal. You shoot and Sam belongs to us." Tom threatened but didn't move just as Dean had ordered.
Sam and John looked shocked between Dean, Tom and Meg. Dean was pointing the gun at Tom, but he had shoot at Meg – the bullet touching her forehead, while she stood with the back to the wall, not daring to move.
"I am seriously impressed Dean. We already thought you were some cripple – a freak of our kind. Glad to see that you obviously are able to do something." Meg said spitefully.
"That's my son you are talking about. Be careful what you say." Mary said threatening when she slowly awoke.
"You okay?" John asked concerned.
She smiled slightly and nodded. "Yeah. Well at least..." she stood up slowly and looked at Dean seriously.
"Tell me that I am wrong. Tell me that you didn't plan that!" Mary begged her son.
"Don't accuse me. You just broke the promise and you nearly got us all killed!" Dean answered angrily, not taking his eyes from Tom and Meg.
Mary went pale. She closed her eyes and a tear was running down her face. "Oh god Dean. All the time. Everything for this. This is your solution? I am telling you, it's not. I won't let it happen." Mary said firmly.
"I don't think you have much say in it! You begged me to make the deal! So sorry if I only see this as a solution." Dean said desperately. "Please, just let me end it now."
"Dean are you doing this?" Sam asked afraid. He was staring at the scene in front of him.
"Mom said it. I am her son too." Dean said exhausted.
"Which makes you a half demon." Sam realized and he had problems to think straight. Their family was just so screwed up.
John was staring at his sons. He felt lost and helpless. The last 22 years he had been on a hunt. He wanted revenge for his wife's death and he had tried to protect his sons as good as possible. His purpose of living had been hunting demons. And now it appeared that his whole family was just that and he suddenly felt like an outsider – unable to help.
"Yes. But in contrast to you, my demon powers weren't blocked. I had these blurry dreams like forever. Even before Mom... disappeared. When I turned seven I started to really see something in my dreams. When I turned nine, I realized that I was dreaming of the future. It didn't happen often – don't know, maybe four times a year and not really important stuff. It was more knowing to which city we were heading before it's even in the papers. Or knowing that I would burn the food. Nothing interesting." Dean said never taking his eyes from Meg and Tom, ready to shoot the second one of them moved.
"Dean, why didn't you tell me?" John asked shocked by the revelation.
"Don't know. Maybe I didn't think it was important... maybe I saw you hunting all the demons and was scared what you would do in case you ever learned about it!" Dean said calmly, but for John the words were a punch in his face. The thought that Dean was scared to trust him with such things...
"He loves you and he trusts you, don't take his words too seriously." Mary whispered in John's ear and he smiled slightly. She still knew what to say to reassure him. And suddenly the thought came to his mind that she maybe knew what to say, because she could read his mind... and the smile turned to a emotionless expression.
"Well, when I turned twelve, my little brother got attacked by some kind of mutated witch and when I tried to safe him, the thing attacked me – spiked me. And I just needed to touch it and it vanished to ashes. I had no traces of a wound left and I managed to let Sam forget about this event. That was the first time I used my powers actively. Well actually it wasn't on purpose, because I had no idea I could do that, till it happened." Dean told further.
"The first power pushes are always the strongest. But once you know about it, you learn to control it. You little bastard – you were able to do all this from the beginning... why hiding it? It would have made your life so much easier!" Meg said impressed and confused.
"You really think that you are in the position to ask questions?" Dean asked and the bullet moved a little bit more in Meg's direction, which made her scream in pain. The bare contact with the bullet, made her feel as if her life was sucked out of her.
The bullet moved away a little again.
"Not yet!" Dean said quietly while he looked straight in Tom's eyes, who had been ready to make a move. But when he saw Dean's look he stopped immediately. He shivered – he had never seen such a determinate look. He started to fear the person, who had been only a puppet in his eyes before.
"After Sam went back to sleep that night, I left the house. I made sure that he was protected and then I intended to go away and never come back. I was scared, I knew I was becoming one of the things that we used to hunt. But I went only a mile away. I couldn't bring myself to go further. That night I fell asleep on a bench in the park nearby. When I woke up it was still dark and somebody was sitting next to me." Dean continued his story.
Mary remembered the night like it was yesterday, when Dean continued to talk about it.
Mary had sensed when Dean used his powers and she was kind of proud of her son, but she also sorrowed for her oldest. He was doomed now.
The demon had sensed Dean, just as his mother, but Mary had convinced the demon to leave Dean alone for now. But she still couldn't resist to go see him. She knew he wouldn't survive this alone.
She found him lying on a bench nearby the motel they were staying at the moment. He was sleeping and looked so peaceful, but when she came nearer she saw the tear in his eye.
She sat down next to him and stroked his hair. When he felt her presence, he woke up.
He sat up fast, but it took a while till he was really awake. She watched him carefully. He didn't really seem to be surprised, just nervous, as if he only wanted to run and hide.
"Dean? Do you know who I am?" Mary asked carefully and smiled lightly at him. The only thing she wanted was to hug him, hold him and to never let him go again.
Dean looked at her for a while and in these seconds his expression turned more and more to anger.
Finally he nodded. "Yes... I know. You are my mother." He said coldly.
A shiver ran down Mary's spine. She thought that she had never heard somebody talking so coldly – and she was a demon.
"You don't seem to be really surprised to see me." Mary said slowly.
"Well I ... I saw you in my dreams." Dean said through clenched teeth.
"A vision!" Mary explained.
These words let Dean's facade crumble. He looked at her shocked, surprised and scared.
He suddenly looked so vulnerable – Mary thought. She suddenly had an idea what was going on.
"Dean come here." Mary said softly, but he suddenly was standing and backing away.
"You know... how can you be here. I never wanted this. I swear Mom... I didn't want this." Dean whispered and tears were running down his face.
Mary got up, went over to her son and hugged him. "Dean I am so sorry." Mary whispered.
"No...no." Dean said and tried to entangle himself from his mother's grip. "How can you even like me... I am a demon. I am one of those who killed you." Dean whispered.
"Dean you got it wrong." Mary said and finally let go of Dean.
"I am not a ghost... Dean...and this is not your fault." Mary explained. "Dean please, sit down."
Mary sat back down on the bench and waited patiently till Dean calmed down again and slowly sat back down. He pulled his knees up and he seemed so small. Of course he did: He was only twelve... she never wanted this kind of life for him, but there was no time for regrets now.
"Dean listen to me. You know how inheritance works, right? You had it in school!?" Mary started.
Dean nodded slowly, but was still looking at a spot on the ground. Apathetically.
"The fact is that it's not different with demons." Mary said and waited for Dean's reaction. He looked up slowly and stared at her for a moment.
"I... I don't understand." Dean whispered.
"Dean I am not dead. I never died... in fact: I am a demon too. Or better: You are a demon, because I am one." Mary said and looked sadly at her first born.
"But Dad... he hunts demons. He wants to take revenge... You have to tell him!" Dean said totally lost. He understood what his mother told him, but he wasn't really dealing with it.
"Dean. Dean. I need you to look at me and listen carefully." Mary said now in a hurry. She could feel the demon. He was getting impatient.
"Your father doesn't know and he can't know! When you tell him, it will hurt him – and not only emotional but also physical. I know you don't understand it, but if you tell your Dad, I won't be able to protect him or you or Sammy." Mary explained.
Dean looked into his mother's eyes. "I won't tell. I don't want Dad or Sammy to get hurt." Dean said seriously and Mary smiled at her son.
"I know... and now I need you to go back." Mary said and Dean's eyes widened.
"No. Please Mom, I can't... I will hurt them. Dad will hate me." Dean said scared. "Please take me with you. I can't do this. Please mom!" Dean begged. And Mary had watched her family, she knew that Dean never begged, not like this and her heart ached at that thought.
"Dean. I need you to watch over Sammy and your Dad. I can't do that. You need to take care of them, keep them safe." Mary tried to calm her son down, but he still looked scared.
"Listen Dean. I watched you, I saw and felt what you can do. I am so proud of you. You don't need to be afraid of your powers... you have your father's blood in you too. You are not evil or anything. You are a good boy and you are going to be a good man. Your father raised you well. You will learn to control the powers, I know that. Just don't try to fight them, because then it will hurt!" Mary told her son.
"I need to go now, sweetheart. But I will come back I promise." Mary said and her eyes flickered to yellow for a second. And Dean understood that it was a promise which she would keep. A promise made by a demon – it was like a oath.
Dean suddenly fell in his mother's arms. "I missed you Mom." Dean whispered and Mary smiled. "I missed you too, honey. I missed you too."
She held Dean for a little while longer, but finally let go. But just as she wanted to leave again, Dean suddenly grabbed her arm.
"Mom. You won't tell Sammy, right! In case Sammy ever finds out, you will let me tell him, right? You promise!" Dean said and seemed determined and this time his eyes flickered to yellow – Dean was learning fast.
Mary hesitated for a second. Dean still didn't know everything – about Sam's destiny. But she knew that this meant a lot to her son, so she finally nodded.
"Okay. I won't tell Sammy about you." Mary said and her eyes flickered.
"Mom explained some thing to me and convinced me to stay with you and Sammy. Therefor I made her promise to not tell Sammy about me." Dean said and looked at his father.
"Why?" Sam asked hurt and confused.
"Because I didn't want this life for you, you idiot." Dean said and Sam couldn't stop himself from smiling.
"The thing is that when demon's make a real deals or promises, it will have consequences when they break them. Which Mom just did. That's why she collapsed a minute ago." Dean explained further.
"Yes and why did I need to break the deal?" Mary said challenging.
"Mom don't please." Dean said pale.
"What?" Sam asked suspicious.
"Then tell them yourself. You owe it to them... God, you nearly got yourself killed." Mary said sadly.
Dean paused for a while. Half because he was thinking and considering all facts and half because he was concentrating on keeping Meg and Tom in place.
Sam was shacking. He tried to kill his brother – the feelings caused by the visions before nearly gone. "Listen Dean, I am sorry... please you have to believe me. I just had this vision..." Sam tried to convince Dean.
"You are not getting it collage boy, don't you?" Dean said unbelievingly.
"What?" Sam asked confused.
"I am a demon, Sam. I have powers... like manipulating visions. Why do you think did Mom freaked out." Dean said casually, while Sam and John looked at him as if he was crazy.
"What? Why? I would have killed you. One more second I would have pulled the trigger." Sam said totally enraged and confused. How could Dean do something like that?
Dean looked him straight into the eyes. Determined, but sad. "Because it's the only way to safe you, safe us." Dean said.
"What? Me killing you?" Sam asked unbelievingly.
Dean smiled sadly. "I know you don't understand. None of you... But in contrast to you, I saw the future. The real future. I had the first dream about it when I was 10 and it freaked me out. I dreamed about it every night. Knowing that the world would end and it would be our... my fault. When Dad went to see Elkins and I heard about the legend of the gun. I knew it. I knew what I had to do and that everything would be okay. I could sleep that night."
"Dean what are you talking about. What did you see?" Sam asked freaked.
-to be continued-