well, here's a one-shot that i actually did one night when i was listening to a song... hehehe!!! the first word kinda clicked in my mind and the rest of the story followed... do read and i hope you like it!!!!
i do not own FoR but if i did, i would totally have mi-chan and fuuko together!!!!!
"Stay…" you whispered, your head bowed in order to prevent me from seeing your face.
I wanted to hold you then, pull you into my arms and comfort you, ease whatever pain it is that you're feeling at the moment. But I can't, because if I do, I might not be able to let go and I'll end up staying right here and forget the dreams that I would be pursuing once I leave for the States tomorrow.
Besides, I was never known for showing my emotions, whatever they may be. People perceived me as cold. Hell, even you perceive me as cold, calling me Ice man and all other nicknames that would have cold or ice as the theme. How am I supposed to show you how much I regret telling you that I'm leaving and how much I wanted to stay? How am I supposed to show you that your presence, all of you, meant a lot to me, much more than I thought it would? How am I supposed to tell you, or just even show you, how scared I was before to come too close to you for I might end up breaking you, hurting you, just like what I'm doing now?
"Don't we mean anything to you…? Don't I mean anything to you at all…?" your voice is shaking now and I could only guess that tears are already at the brink of falling from your dark blue eyes.
God, you don't know how much you mean to me. You made me forget about revenge and live my life again. You were the first one who made me smile. You're my life that was drained from me by that fateful incident during my childhood.
But I can't tell you that, because if I do, I would have to tell you how I really feel about you. If that happens, I would only be hurting you more, knowing that despite after confessing my feelings to you, I would still be leaving tomorrow, leaving you alone.
"I have to do this." I managed to say despite the sudden constriction and lump in my throat.
Your shoulders are shaking now and I could visibly see the tears running down your cheeks. I could even see your hands clutched at you sides to prevent more tears from showing and this broke the self-control I had put up with years of training and experience.
Slowly, I reached out and touched your cheeks, lifting your face in level with mine. I watched as you slowly opened your lids and reveal to me those glassy dark blue pools that have captivated me from the first time I had set my eyes on them. Slowly moving my thumb, I brushed the trail of tears from your cheeks but my action seemed to have elicited more tears to fall from those dark blue eyes.
"Don't." I heard myself whisper achingly. "I don't deserve your tears."
Suddenly, I found myself wrapped in your arms, your warm body pressed so hard against mine and your head buried on my chest. I could hear your cries, muffled by my chest and I could feel you shoulders heaving up and down.
Right then and there, I wanted to wrap my arms around you as well and tell you that I won't leave, that I'll stay right here beside you. But I can't, I mustn't. It won't be right. I have my dreams to pursue. Aside from that, you don't deserve someone who lived an empty life. You deserve someone better, someone who has a life to offer you and make you happy.
No. You don't deserve someone like me.
Mustering all my self control and ignoring the ache inside my chest, I placed my hands on your arms and gently pried them away from me. My actions only caused you to tighten you arms around me even more and increase the pain I was feeling tenfold.
Slowly, I breathed in, hoping that by doing so, I would have the strength to do what I have to do. Releasing the breath I was holding, I pried you hands away once again and gently whispered in your ears the words that I would always regret, the words that hope I would never have to say.
"Let go." I whispered in your ears.
You seem to have realized that nothing would ever change my mind for I felt your arms relax against my hand as I gently pry them away. I let go of your arms gently and watched as they fall limply at your sides. I looked at your face but it was bowed once again and your shoulders were hunched as sign of defeat.
Not bearing to have this meeting go longer, I turned around, placing my hands in my pockets before they betray me and reach out for you once again. Without wasting another minute, I started to walk away slowly, counting my steps as I walk, as a futile attempt to forget that this would be the last time I'll be seeing you and your presence.
I was barely five steps away when I heard your voice, the same sweet voice that once told me that I would never be alone again because I have my friends with me, that I have you. It almost caused me to turn back but I held myself in place, knowing that once I do, I would never be able to turn my back on you again for the rest of my life.
"Mi-chan…" your voice was barely a whisper but I could hear it clearly, unconsciously memorizing the way it sounds in my mind. "I love you…"
I have waited for so long to hear them from you, always reading behind your actions and waiting for the moment that you would blurt it out and make me happy. And now, you did I would have turned back, hugged you and kissed you upon hearing those words. Yet all I could do is stand still, wishing that you never said those words and make things more difficult for me, for us.
Feeling my heart constricting, I closed my eyes, embedding in my memory those words and the way they sounded from your lips. I would make sure to always remember this day. At least, this way, I would always remember that someone I deeply cared about returned my feelings. At least this way, I would find the courage to pursue my dreams and forget my revenge. Maybe this way, I might find the strength to live, even thought without you by my side.
"Good-bye…" I whispered gently, taking those painful steps away from you, hoping that somehow, someway, you would find the strength to forgive me someday for hurting you so much.
You're strong. You would get over me and the pain that I've caused you while I wallow in regret for hurting you so much.
Yes. This would be my atonement for hurting you. I would always carry the pain in me together with your memories and the memories that we had together. Especially this day when you confessed your feelings and instead of telling you I felt the same way, I said good-bye.
well????? what do you think??? kinda sad, ne???
by the way, mi-chan might seem a little bit out of character by the way he thinks but he's just thinking that way... nobody do know what he's thinking about behind his actions... still, i tried to make him in charater on the outside, if you get what i mean...
well, don't forget to review!!! i really need to know what you guys think about this story!!! oh, and i'm kinda thinking if i'll just leave it as a one shot or continue and make it a story instead!!!! tell me what you think ok????