The Silent Killer

Summary – When Harry turns seventeen he finds something out about his past, well… more like about his bloodline. He decides to make good use of it… HPDM

Disclaimer – I don't own Harry Potter, that belongs to JK Rowling nor do I own any mentions of CSI, they belong to um… CBO I think… or the bloke who wrote the books or course…

I think I should mention before I begin, that this is not going to follow the actual Harry Potter timeline, so in this story, Harry's seventh year will begin on the first of September, 2006. Okay? Good. This is only so that I can torture my readers with my obsession with CSI… oh yes and maybe it should be prudent to tell you that this will contain slash… if you don't like it, then please just don't read this story, don't flame me about it.


Harry looked out of his window on the night of his seventeenth birthday. Well he supposed it was more the night before/morning of said birthday. The point was Harry was looking out of his window and thus did not catch the number of the whatever the hell it was that hit him from behind like a big wimp and knocking him out cold, making him miss the clock strike midnight and the influx of owls that flew into his bedroom.

Strangely enough, his last thought before succumbing to the pain and passing out was: "Dammit, I hope that the CSI's around here are as good as Grissom when his body was discovered." Of course that was naïve of him. It wasn't like the Dursley's would have told anyone.


Harry was sitting at the Gryffindor table, watching as Dumbledore gave his usual end of term speech.

He sighed and glanced across the room scanning across the Slytherin table. His eyes passed over the usual Slytherin sixth years, mentally noting that Draco looked a bit more wet than was usual. Putting the observation to the back of his mind for later reference, he continued his scanning of the other tables, looking for something interesting to stop him from jumping on the table and stunning Dumbledore just to shut him up… And for the comedy factor of it of course.

Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, but was probably only about ten minutes, Dumbledore concluded his Speech with his customary warning for not turning to the Dark Side (making Harry snigger and want to breath Darth Vader style.) and twinkle in his eye when mentioning the 'Light' that was inside of all of us (Harry then whispered 'Use the Force' under his breath, making Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnegan snicker, Hermione tsk, though try to hide a smirk of her own and the surrounding Purebloods to look at his in confusion.)

"Well I never thought that he was going to end. Lets grab our bags and then we can finally leave."

"Harry, didn't you listen to what Dumbledore was saying? It was important!" Hermione practically screeched, making all around her flinch.

"Er… I didn't see any point in listening. I know what he was going to say. 'Must stick together… yadda yadda yadda… these are dark times and so on… use the force… oh no wait, that was just me. Um… anything that I missed? Oh yes in these dark times, we must stick together or we will fall from within… I think the Sorting Hat should have taken out a copyright on that one. Infringement laws and all that." Harry said, making Dean and Seamus snigger again, and Hermione scowl at him.

"Yes well, that might be the gist of the speech, but the point was, as our saviour, you should be listening and showing everyone that you care."

"Er... what if I don't care? What if I want to wizarding world to fend for itself and to leave me alone?" Harry asked, noticing he shocked faces of his friends and the few students standing around them, he quickly added, "I do care of course, I was just using it as an example, trying to actually be a teenager for once. You know? Being obstinate."

"Of course Harry, just don't say that sort of thing again. It puts people in a panic." Hermione said in a pacifying manner, making Harry grind his teeth and nod along.

"Sorry, let's just get to the train and go okay?"

"Why are you so keen on leaving? You've never wanted to leave to the Dursley's before." Ron asked, frowning and making Hermione look at Harry enquiringly as well.

"I just am okay? Hogwarts isn't a home to me anymore." Harry said with a shrug, mentally counting down the hours before he could set up his DVD player and start watching his CSI DVD's again.

"What do you mean? What is a home to you then?"

"I don't really think I have one at the moment. I've started to buy things though, and as soon as I turn seventeen, I will be moving out of the Dursley's and into a family home that I have inherited." Harry answered, standing from the Gryffindor table, the other sixth years standing along with him.

"Wicked! You have your own bachelor pad?" Seamus asked, excitement shining in his eyes.

"Yup, I inherited quite a few properties on the Potter side and even more from the Black family." Harry said, warily looking at Hermione, from whom he was waiting for the inevitable lecture on responsibility.

"Harry, now do you think you are mature enough to live alone? You will have to clean the house and cook for yourself. Do you really think you are ready for that?"

"Well Hermione, do you think I was mature enough to defeat Voldemort insert jumps and whimpers once again at eleven? Do you think that I was mature enough to learn that I will have to defeat him at fifteen? Because if you do, then I think I might be able to manage living on my own." Harry said, finishing with a large cheesy grin, inside deeply hoping to whatever god happened to be listening (sadly it was the God of Alcohol and he was a tweak to inebriated to understand what was asked.) that Hermione didn't find out about the veritable army of House elves that came with the properties. Ever.

"Yes well, I still think it is a bad idea, what will you do?"

"Watch CSI probably." Harry said honestly, making Hermione frown in disappointment and Dean suddenly become very interested in the conversation.

"CSI? You like CSI?" he asked Harry, slowing down to walk next to him.

"Hell yeah who doesn't? It's amazing!"

"What seasons do you have?"

"Well I have up to season five on DVD but I think that as soon as I get the internet to whichever house I choose, that I will order season six off of hey, if you want, you can come over to stay at my house after my birthday. I will owl you, if you want." Harry said, suddenly wanting some company of the CSI fan kind.

"Hell yeah! I'll bring Nev and Shea along as well!" Dean said excitably.

"What are we supposed to be doing?" Neville asked as Harry and Dean walked a bit quicker to walk next to him and Seamus.

"Going to stay with Harry at his new house later in the holidays. You and Seamus are invited to, it's going to be an all guy time." Harry said, throwing an arm around Neville's shoulders and not noticing the jealous look sent at Neville for that simple gesture.

"Okay, sure thing Harry. What about Ron though. Is he not invited?" Neville asked, grinning shyly at Harry.

"Erm… well I think he is a wee bit too whipped by Hermione to actually come with an open mind. Plus do any of you actually want to deal with Molly Weasley?" Harry asked, with a sly glance at Ron, who was talking to Hermione and blushing.

"Ooh! Good point Harry. So what will we actually be doing when we arrive?" Seamus asked, grinning cheekily at the thought of Molly Weasley.

"Oh I don't know, what do you think Dean? Shall we get these hopeless wizards hooked on the Muggle delight that is CSI?" Harry asked, smirking.

"Yep! We can have a non stop CSIfest, (the author would like to warn all that if they should wish to try this, to please make sure that they have plenty of liquids and food available.) we can watch every single episode back to back from all six seasons!" Dean said, almost jumping with excitement.

"Okay, sounds cool with me. I will owl all three of you then with the arrangements, but we will have to meet somewhere in Diagon Alley because all my properties are under fidelius, with various people as secret keepers, so they will have to tell you where it is." Harry said, eyes twinkling.

"That's fine. In fact, I think that make my gran even more agreeable to this thing." Neville admitted, getting nods of agreement from Seamus as well.

"Good, so then I will be seeing you in August then!"


Harry sighed as he got out of the Dursley's car and looked up at number four, Privet Drive. He was back, by orders of Dumblebore. Of course, he wasn't lying when he said that he was moving out as soon as he was seventeen. Dumbledore had no say over where he stayed then, seeing as he was of legal age in the wizarding world at seventeen.

He couldn't wait for that day, but in the mean time…

"Look, let me just drag my trunk up the stairs okay, I will stay in my room, not making a noise and not botherin you, and you lot can just pretend that I don't exist. Sound good?" Harry said, pulling his actually quite light, multi-compartment trunk out of the car. The Dursley's all nodded their agreement and walked into the house, leaving Harry to supposedly struggle on his own.

After he had dragged his trunk into his room, he quickly closed the door and then set about setting up his, in his own opinion, completely wicked entertainment system, complete with surround sound, that he hadn't actually dared to use yet and thus stayed in the completely Muggle equipment compartment of his trunk.

He eventually got everything set up like he wanted and so he sat back on his bed and began CSI season one. Oh how he missed this whilst he was at Hogwarts. This was something he felt that he would never be able to give up, even in the wizarding world.

Settling back, he relaxed as the opening scene began and Harry secretly lusted over Warrick and Greg. Not that he would ever tell anyone that. Nope, the wizarding world may be more accepting of same sex relationships, but that did not mean they would be accepting of a gay saviour. Tough break for them, Harry thought with an evil snigger.

Of course, the theme song had only just ended when his name was shouted from downstairs. Sighing he paused the DVD and walked out of his room, wondering what the Dursley's could possibly want when he had only been back fifteen minutes.

"Yes?" He asked tiredly, once he had made it to the kitchen.

"Dudley has expressed that he would like you to accompany him out with his friends. Apparently they all want to know what you get up to for nine months of the year." Vernon said, looking as though it had physically pained him to say this, though knowing him, it probably did.

"Why should I go? All they want to do is pick up Harry hunting because all the other children on this estate have wizened up and stay indoors whilst Big D and his group parole the streets like a small group of Nazi children." Of course that is only what Harry wanted to say. What he actually said was, "Sure, not like I have anything better to do." Whilst his mind was screaming at him, asking what the hell he was saying, he had five seasons of CSI to get reacquainted with.

"Good, now go get dressed into something more acceptable, and don't start saying that you don't have anything acceptable because I know for a fact that you somehow bought yourself a new wardrobe." Vernon said, looking as though he was dying to ask where the money came from but just didn't dare.

"Okay, I'll go and get changed, when do you want to leave Dudley?" Harry asked the now no longer obese but obscenely large and muscular boy.

"I want to leave ain half an hour, don't make me late freak." Ah the old F word, oh how I had missed it whilst I was at Hogwarts. Harry thought fondly.

"Half an hour. Right okay then." And with that, Harry ran up the stairs and quickly changed into a pair of black baggy jeans and a black t-shirt with a small kambucho mushroom person on the front. Quickly brushing his hair, he scowled at his reflection and then sighed, mentally preparing to meet his doom and trying to get the voice humming the death march in his head to shut up.


After his first day, Harry didn't really get much time to himself. He found himself being dragged out to raves by Dudley every night and having to hang out with Dudley's friends every day. Much to Harry's consternation.

The day before his birthday, and Harry was almost ready to risk being expelled from Hogwarts just so that he could shut up Piers Polkiss with a nice silencing charm. Maybe he could also give him itchy boils on his arse as well.

"And then she grabbed me down there, if you know where I mean."

"Your penis you mean? It isn't a hard word to say, say it with me now, P.E.N.I.S." Harry said slowly, interrupting the thrilling story of how Piers got laid by the hot fit girl in Seven R.

"Shut it Freak. What happened then Piers." Considering that these fine examples of the human race all claimed to be as straight as a ruler, they didn't half enjoy hearing about the others' sex lives.

"Well then she…" Harry let Piers voice fade in the background as he imagined leaving the Dursley's tomorrow… Sadly dreaming about it didn't make it come any sooner, and in the mean time he had to put up with Dudley and his gangs pathetic stories of being groped by some nameless girl.

"What about you then freak? What do you get up to at your school?" Dudley asked, rudely, bringing Harry out of a nice daydream about cursing the Dursley's into making them believe that the other members were in fact farm animals.

"Huh? What did you say?" Harry said intelligently, congratulating himself on still managing to sound like his IQ was larger than all those surrounding him.

"I said, what did you get up to in school? Shag any girls?"

"Well seeing as I go to St Brutus' Centre for Criminally Insane Boys then I don't think I shagged any girls, not unless any of them managed to change sex without anyone noticing except me. Though now that I think about it, Terry Boot is awfully effeminate. It may have happened to him." Harry said, voice fading off as he pondered the mystery of the effeminate Ravenclaw. Maybe he really had changed sex and no one had noticed. Would be something to read about in the Daily Prophet.

"So you're a Homo then Freak?" Dudley asked, disgust shown clearly on his face. Amazing the amount of denial going on in this group. Now of course, Harry wasn't ashamed of his sexual orientation but he was not about to come out of the closet to this group of heavy-set homophobes. Even he had some self-preservation left.

"No Dudley, if you had listened then you would have heard me say that I had not shagged anyone as you so eloquently put it." Harry snapped, glaring at Dudley as if daring him to say anything.

"So you're a virgin then Potter?" Piers asked, sneering at him.

"Well like I said, I go to an all boys school and none of us feel particularly keen on the idea of feeling up the boy in the next bed, especially seeing as there is a ninety percent chance that he will be a murderer as soon as he graduates." Harry said bluntly, making the other boys in the room look at him disbelievingly.

"A murderer Potter?" Darren, the smallest of the group, though still probably weighing twice what Harry did.

"Well yes, a murderer. I do go to St Brutus', what did you expect Criminally Insane to mean, we stole poesy's from the local flower stall?" Harry asked sarcastically, making the others pale considerably.

"Why are you there Potter?"

"Didn't you hear? I started my career early and killed one of my teachers in my first year. Rather an exciting feeling really. Must say, earned me the respect of several people at the institution. In fact, I really shouldn't be allowed to leave even for the summer, but with no one there, then I would have been left alone. Shame. Think of what I could have done without being Tagged." Harry said, enjoying scaring the living shit out of Dudley's so called hard friends. Of course, after what they talked about whenever they met, Dudley could have meant it in a completely different manner. Hmm, maybe Harry should ask Dudley at a later date. When he could apparate away to safety.


"Yeah, they tag us before we leave so that they will know what we are up to. Sometimes they even have people follow me around, to make sure that civilians are safe from me." Harry said casually looking at his fingernails.

"God Potter. You really are a twisted Freak!" Rob, another of the so-called (but Harry was going to research into that claim) hard gang.

"I prefer psychotic thanks. Now Dudley. I think we should be getting back. Don't want to worry your mother now, do we?" Harry asked, standing up and casually brushing his clothes down, he was anxious to be back in his bed before midnight, as he had heard that sometimes, Wizards can experience a bit of pain when coming into their full magical inheritance, and with his luck, he would feel the pain.

"Yeah suppose you're right freak. Let's go. See you guys tomorrow right?" Dudley asked, standing and moving to walk beside Harry as they turned to leave the house (Darren's)

"Yep, same time, meet here. My parents are still on holiday so we can stay here." Darren said, still watching Harry wearily.

"Okay then. Come on Potter, wait until my dad hears about all the lies you have been telling my friends." Dudley added, making Harry mentally sulk when he saw that Dudley's gang on friends were no longer so afraid of him. Damn.

"Fine fine. Don't get your panties in a bunch." Harry muttered, walking out of the house and leading the way back home.


When Harry awoke the next morning, he walked to his mirror in his bedroom and gaped at the changes that his body had gone through. There was only one thought running through his mind as he stared at his reflection. Man I look cool!