Monty Python and the Holy Triforce

By: Shannon

NOTE: I do not own the characters in the fanfic and I kinda mixed up some stuff in the fic as well. It will help if you have seen "Monty Python and the Holy Grail."

Under the command of the King of Hyrule, Sir Linkalot was to save Hyrule from Ganondorf's destruction. On his trusty "horse," operated by Mido (using two hollowed-out coconuts as the rhythm for the horse galloping), Sir Linkalot trotted off to the Deku Tree to save it from evil. Upon entrance into the Deku Tree, he spotted a group of Deku Shrubs blocking the entryway.

"Excuse me, good Deku Shrubs," said Sir Linkalot. "But I have come to save this poor tree from evil. Please move out of the way so that I may save this tree from evil!"

"Only if you do one thing for us," said the leader of the Deku Shrubs. "Bring us a rare, golden Deku nut and we'll let you pass."

"I must remember that! Good Mido, let us turn around so we can find the golden Deku nut!"

About five minutes later, Sir Talahad (Talon from Lon Lon Ranch) ran into Link, holding something strange.

"Sir Linkalot!" yelled Sir Talahad, on his "horse," operated by a servant. "I have found a strange, gold stone near the entrance." He gave the gold stone to Sir Linkalot.

"Why, this is one of the rare, gold Deku nuts!" shouted Sir Linkalot. "Now I can venture forth into the Deku Tree and save it from evil!"

Sir Linkalot then galloped into the tree, gave the gold Deku nut to the Deku shrubs and ventured forth to save the tree from evil. He fell through several spider webs until he got to a small room with a red-eyed spider named Gohma.

"And just who are you?" asked Gohma.

"I am Sir Linkalot and I am here to save the Deku Tree from evil!"

"How did you get here?"

"I found a rare, gold Deku nut, gave it to the Deku shrubs, and now I am here to save the Deku Tree from evil! Are you evil?"

"Good Sir Linkalot, you can bet your armor that I'm EVIL!"

So they do battle. After killing Gohma, Link gathered a green emerald. He galloped along with Mido to Hyrule Castle and met up with two other knights: Sir Talahad, holding a red ruby stone and Sir Ingolot, holding a blue saphire.

"We must show these to the King of Hyrule!" said Sir Ingolot. "Then we can finish saving Hyrule from Ganondorf!"

So the three of them showed the king the stones and he sent them on a tough assignment: to find the Goron Knights who say Sheeeeebooooooopdoodleloo.

"Good knights," said Sir Linkalot. "We must find the Goron Knights who say 'Sheeeeebooooooopdoodleloo.'"

Off they galloped on their "horses" up a huge mountain. At the gate of Goron City, they were stopped by a black Goron Knight.

"The Goron Knights who say 'Sheeeeebooooooopdoodleloo' are inside, but you must defeat me in order to see them!" he shouted, raising a huge Biggoron's sword.

Sir Ingolot took his sword and slashed the limbs off of the black Goron knight.

"I can still take you on!" yelled the black Goron knight, rolling around on the ground.

"How can you?" asked Sir Talahad. "Sir Ingolot just chopped off your arms and legs!"

"I can roll, can't I?" replied the black Goron knight as he tried to bowl over our three heroes but ended up rolling off of a cliff and into a stream of water.

"I'll get youuuuuuuuuuuu," the black Goron knight called out from the river. "I'll get youuuuuuuuuuu...."

"Now, good men, let's go find the Goron knights who say 'Sheeeeebooooooopdoodleloo,'" said Sir Linkalot.

The three knights entered Goron City and found a group of Goron knights saying "Sheeeeebooooooopdoodleloo" at the very bottom of the city. They galloped down to the first floor and encountered Darobina (a combination of Darunia and Sir Robin), the leader of the Goron knights who say "Sheeeeebooooooopdoodleloo."

"Hello, good men," said Darobina. "I am the leader of the Goron knights who say 'Sheeeeebooooooopdoodleloo.'"

"Hello, good sir," said Sir Linkalot. "The King of Hyrule called us here. What seems to be the trouble?"

"There seems to be a mouse loose in the weapon shop," said Darobina. "Several Goron knights went in there to capture it but no one came out."

So Sir Linkalot investigated and sure enough, standing under a pile of dead Goron knights was a mouse.

"Be careful, Sir Linkalot!" cried Darobina. "That is no ordinary mouse!"

"Well then," said Sir Linkalot. "I shall have to try my super-duper BOMBUCHU!"

Sir Linkalot unleashed his super-duper Bombuchu on the mouse, blowing it to smithereens (and what was left of the dead Goron knights).

"There," said Sir Linkalot, emerging from the weapon shop victorious. "Your mouse problem is solv....."

Interrupting Sir Linkalot was a LOUD explosion from the weapon shop.

"Ooops, I forgot," said Sir Linkalot. "There were bombs in the stockroom that accidentally got caught in the explosion."

"From now on," said Darobina. "We will be the Goron knights who say 'Wheeeeeeeeeee!' Thank you for your help!"

"Don't mention it, Darobina," said Link. "Now we must go fight Ganondorf to find the Holy Triforce and save Hyrule. So long, Goron knights who say 'Wheeeeeeeeeee!'"

After leaving the Goron knights who say "Wheeeeeeeeeee," Sir Linkalot, Sir Talahad, and Sir Ingolot approached Hyrule Castle, only to find that Ganondorf had taken over the castle. So they went in the entryway into the main room of the castle. It was completely empty except for two open doors, one on each side of the castle. Then, there was a rumble, and then a rumbling noise.

"What's that?" cried Sir Ingolot in terror.

Something came out of one of the doorways. It was the limbless black Goron knight, rolling his way toward our three heroes!

"I said I'd get you!" he yelled as he came rolling toward them.

"There's only one thing for us to do!" shouted Sir Talahad. "Let's go up the stairs in front of us!"

So the three knights galloped up the stairs in front of them while the black Goron knight rolled past them and into the next room with the open doorway. Soon there was a loud crash.

"Stupid broom closet," muttered the black Goron knight.

The three knights made their way up the castle to meet Ganondorf.

"Ha, ha!" bellowed Ganondorf in a loud tone. "Now that you're here, I can now easily defeat you and take over Hyrule with the Holy Triforce!"

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "Oh, who could it be now!" grumbled Ganondorf. "Who is it?"

"Um, hi," said the person. "I'm from the Hyrule police department and you're under arrest." The policeman showed Ganondorf his I.D.

"But, what did I do?" asked Ganondorf as he was being handcuffed.

"You are guilty of shoplifting, jaywalking, use of evil powers without a license, taking candy from a baby, not tipping the waiter this morning at Denny's, mail fraud..."

Ganondorf was then escorted out of the room while the policeman kept reading the endless charges. "Bank fraud, cheating on taxes, stepping on a crack and breaking your mother's back..."

"Wow," said Sir Linkalot. "Now all we have to do is find the Holy Triforce."

The three knights went over to the Temple of Time where they met Sir Raurahad (Rauru).

"We have come for the Holy Triforce, Sir Raurahad!" exclaimed Sir Linkalot.

"Oh, you are too late," said Sir Raurahad. "The King said you took too long trying to get to it, so he got it himself about 15 minutes ago."

"WHAT?!" exclaimed the three knights.

"But, but, but....we...just...went all over the place," said Sir Linkalot. "We gathered three stones for the king and saved the Goron knights from a mouse!"

"Well, I'm terribly sorry," said Sir Raurahad. "But don't blame me, I'm just the messenger." He walked away from them, leaving three confused knights in the Temple of Time.

"C'mon," said Sir Linkalot. "Let's go see the king!"

About 5 minutes later, they faced the King of Hyrule. "Well, what can I do for you gu...mmmmmpppphhhhfffff!"

"We hope you like diamonds, Your Majesty," said Sir Talahad as the three knights stuffed the three stones into the King's mouth.