"It's only you, beautiful
Or I don't want anyone…
If I can choose,
It's only you."Adamantine
She was soaked. She had long given up trying to run through the streets that were already harboring large puddles of rainwater, and as she wandered underneath the earthy shower her thoughts grew dark. Warm tears flew down her angelic face as she thought of him.
"Go to hell!"
And remnants of a past she wished she could escape came rushing back. He was the only one that was capable of breaking her heart this way, but he was also the only one that could make her feel.
No matter where she was in life he was always there, always in the back of her mind. It always came back to him. To them…
It could never be over.
Sometimes she wished it could be, because it might just be easier that way; to not feel at all than to risk experiencing the indescribable heartache…even if it meant never feeling that love again. A love she knew no one else could ever make her feel.
Maybe I could do it. She thinks this thought from time to time.
And as the rain is falling against her skin and freezing her insides, she feels courageous enough to make the decision.
She would cut all ties with him, break this cycle, turn her life around. Deaden herself…
But the blue eyes shining though the storm appear. Like they always do…
Like she always hopes they will…
She tries to steady herself, but her feet propel her forward. Soon she finds herself in front of the window to her basement bedroom.
"Emma…" She can see the tears that are falling from his eyes, even through the hard rain.
With no hesitation, and with no words she has pulled him against her. His arms are now wrapped around her sobbing body but she can't pull herself away.
Because even though it's not easy, she knows it's right…that it will always be right.
She pulls him into the cavity of space beside her window and brings them both inside.
Hearing the rain beat against the glass, they now stand in another embrace, Emma struggling to keep warm.
"Em," she hears the delicate tone of his voice and pulls back, bringing them face to face.
She takes in the beauty of his features. His lips are red and swollen and his eyes look so desperate, like a little boy.
But he isn't a little boy.
This is a man standing in front of her, a man that is feeling just as much pain as she is.
A man who has her heart and isn't ready to let go of it…
"I won't ever let us go…" His eyes remain steady, boring into her own. Her heart is now burning and her stomach is twisting into knots. And at this moment she realizes that he'll always make her feel these feelings, and she asks herself why she would ever want to give this up.
He continues, "You can believe Peter, and…and be with him, marry him…have his children," he touches her stomach gently, "but I'll never let us go, no matter what happens… I can't. You're it for me, Em. I want you forever. I want us..."
Emma stood completely still for several moments, staring straight into intense pools of deep blue. She brings her hands around his jaw and wipes her thumbs against his wet skin, watching the released liquid slide down into the valleys of her fingers.
She brings her lips to his and kisses him so softly, then molds their bodies together once more. She brings her lips to his ear and whispers soothingly, "Don't ever let us go…"
And for the first time their two brilliant smiles are simultaneous and she knows it's all worth it. They are worth it.
Her mind floats back…
Breaking the cycle…
But of course, it could never be that way, could it? They could never be broken.
Because Emma knows that as long as she is alive and has the ability to feel, she will never fall out of love with Sean Cameron.
A new thought enters her mind.
You don't choose your fate. It chooses you.
…and for once, Emma Nelson is okay with that.