A/N: One last epilogue to conclude the series. Thank you all for reading, it's been a hell of a fun ride.
"It's not that I like having it around," said Rincewind gloomily, toeing the ground just hard enough to start the swing he was perched on moving back and forth in a sad sort of way, "but if I don't find it it always finds me eventually. And it does keep my spare underwear clean. It sometimes eats things that are trying to eat me too."
"It did that a few times while it was here," Watanuki told him. It had tried to eat Himawari too, which had not been one of the better moments of Watanuki's life, but he had come to accept that this had been a misunderstanding.
"Oh dear," said Rincewind, sounding unsurprised. "Do you get a lot of monsters around here?"
"I'm afraid so. They never go away."
"The giant kind with all the claws and teeth?"
"Mostly the floating, blobby kind with lots of eyes."
"Ah. I always hated that kind. Er… you're not going to get eaten when the luggage leaves, are you? Not that I can leave it here either way, but…" Rincewind's expression implied that he'd feel a bit guilty about this if it happened, and would rather avoid it if it wouldn't actually put him in too much danger to do so.
"No, no, it'll be fine, there's…" Watanuki supposed he might as well just admit it and get it over with. "There's always Doumeki."
"He's… a bit like the luggage. He takes care of the monsters. But mostly, he just hangs around and eats a lot."
"Ah," said Rincewind knowingly. "A hero. I never did deal very well with heroes."
"What part of that jerk is a hero?" Watanuki protested. "He's not… he always… he never… Well, I am not the damsel in distress! I even have to save him sometimes!"
"There's always 'sidekick'," suggested Rincewind.
"I'm not going to be his sidekick either! He can be my sidekick. I'm the one Yuuko always gives these jobs to. He just tags along. And sometimes there aren't even any monsters."
Rincewind looked wistful. "There are just never enough of those days, are there?"
Behind both of them, there was a roar - some distance away, but getting closer.
"Did you hear that?" said Watanuki.
"If I say 'no', it's still going to try to eat us, isn't it?"
"That friend of yours isn't around is he?" Rincewind asked hopefully.
"He went home."
"What about the luggage?"
"It's back at Yuuko's, it was having an eating contest with Mokona." They'd been at it all morning – the luggage was turning out to be very competitive. Maru and Moro had been feeding them both everything Yuuko would let them use. Watanuki didn't know where things the luggage ate went to, but from the sight of some of the things Mokona had been swallowing, he could only hope that Syaoran and co were somewhere with plenty of space.
There was another approaching roar. Watanuki sighed. "Race you back to the shop?"
Rincewind took a stance an Olympic runner would have been proud of. "I'd offer you a head start," he said apologetically, "but I have this inbuilt survival instinct that just won't let me."
"That's alright. I'm good at running. I get lots of practice," Watanuki assured him.
DO YOU NEED SOMEONE TO SAY GO? A voice offered helpfully. There was a rustle and a clink as what looked like an hourglass that had been dragged screaming backwards through an Escher painting was produced and examined.
Watanuki considered the rapidly retreating back which was all that could now be seen of Rincewind. "Thanks, but I don't think we do."
JUST THOUGHT I'D OFFER.
There was no reply – everyone who might conceivably have done so was accelerating away far too fast.