Stop Doing…Keep Doing

I'd rather be liberated, I find myself captivated

Minerva McGonagall strode as fast as her longs legs allowed through the Entrance Hall of the school. She had no sense of where she wanted to go; all she knew was she had to get away from here. From him.

Stop doing what you . . . Keep doing it too . . .

She walked briskly down the stone steps, her emerald robes billowing out behind her. Students of all ages scampered away from her but she made them no heed and continued her solitary journey. The sound of hurried footsteps behind her only served to make her walk faster until she broke out into a run.

"Professor McGonagall!"

There was that voice again. She didn't acknowledge she heard him and hurried past Hagrid's wooden hut. Hagrid looked up curiously and shouted out a greeting but she didn't stop to exchange pleasantries.


That did it. She turned around to face him.

I'd rather stay bold and lonely, I dream I'm your one and only

He was breathing heavily and leant over with his hands on his knees never breaking eye contact with her. Angry green eyes met puzzled blue as he said her name again.


She reared to her full and considerable height and glared at him.

"Don't you dare," she said coldly, "Not after all this time."

He stepped forward and she was forced to upward into those eyes which had bewitched her from the start.

"I made a mistake," he said reaching out to stroke her cheek.

She recoiled as if she had been slapped. "I gave you my heart a long time ago and you dismissed it as a schoolgirl fit of whim. What's so different now?" she hissed ignoring the stares from the students that sat at the edge of the lake.

"You're no schoolgirl now Minerva," she said with a small smile.

Her eyes narrowed. "And I'm no longer in love with my Transfiguration Professor," she said curtly spinning on her heel and walking away from him once more.

As she walked she blinked back tears. She never had liked lying.

Stop doing what you . . . Keep doing it too . . .

He ran after her and grabbed her shoulder forcing her to face him.

"You have always said that wrongs can be made right," he said earnestly, "This is one such time."

She wrenched his hand away and glared at him. "And most things have an expiry date. If you'd said this ten years ago I would have listened but you didn't."

"Minerva I love you!" he said angrily, "And I know you love me too!"

"What difference does that make exactly?!" she shouted throwing professional decorum through the window, "I've watched for years as you courted woman after woman. I saw your tussled hair in the morning after they had stayed the night in the castle. And you know what? It hurt! And it has been hurting for 15 years!"

Things are getting strange, I'm starting to worry

She stopped her tirade as tears began to fall down her face. Her chest heaved with the suppressed emotion she had spewed forth. Students watched wide-eyed at the spectacle before them. Professor McGonagall did not lose control. She did not yell at the top of her lungs. She did not express her feelings.

"I'm so sorry Minerva," he said softly, "I had no idea."

"No, you had an idea," she retorted immediately, "You just ignored it."

"How do you think I felt?" he said, his voice suddenly harsh, "All I thought about when I was with those women was you. I tried time and time again to make another relationship work. But all I could see when I held a woman in my arms was another with dark hair, green eyes and who was as slender as a willow. All I saw was you!"

Minerva glared at him. "You should not have turned me away in the first place."

This could be a case for Mulder and Scully

His eyes dimmed as he looked at her sadly. "You were so young," he said softly, "I couldn't take your childhood away from you."

She gave a derisive snort. "My childhood was taken when I was eight years old and watched my parents being murdered. I was 17 when I told you and felt forty. Do not say I was a child!"

Things are getting strange, now I can't sleep alone

He nodded slightly. "You're right of course," he said with a flicker of a smile, "Always right."

"Except about you."

"Except about me," he conceded, "But you have to believe me Minerva I will never leave you again."

She felt her resolve softening and hated herself for it. "I've slept by myself for a decade Albus. I can continue to do so."

I'd rather be jumping ship, I find myself jumping straight in

She didn't look at him as she turned and ran. She passed the school gates and breathed a sigh of relief and apparated away. She reappeared in front of her family home which had sat empty for longer than she cared to remember. Sighing deeply she removed the key that hung from around her neck and placed it in the lock and turned.

The small cottage smelt like dust and as her eyes adjusted to the gloom she could see the outline of the furniture that looked exactly as she remembered it. She walked up the stairs and into her childhood bedroom. A quick scourgify spell had the room looking pristine and she fell against the bed and sobbed.

Stop doing what you . . . Keep doing it too . . .

She felt a hand on her shoulder and rolled over abruptly.

"How did you-" she began but he placed a finger on her lips and shook his head.

"It doesn't matter," he said softly, "I'm here now."

Forever be dozy and dim, I wake myself thinking of him

Her eyes opened and she felt herself alone in a little girl's bedroom. She pummeled the pillow in front of her angrily.

"Damn you," she said softly drawing the pillow toward her and holding it close to her chest, "Damn you to hell and back."

Stop doing what you . . . Keep doing it too . . .


She didn't turn at the sound of his voice and remained silent. She could hear soft footsteps and felt a loose strand of hair being tucked behind her ear.

"How did you find me?" she asked knowing that she wasn't dreaming now.

"I called in a few favours," he said sitting next to her on the bed.

She glanced at him as he sat perched on the edge of the small bed. "I'm not worth those few favours," she said softly, "Leave now."

"Not without you."

Things are getting strange, I'm starting to worry

"You don't mean that," she said softly.

"I've never meant anything so much in my entire life."

She turned fully so she could look at him. For the first time she had known him he looked unsure of himself. His face was filled with confusion and a part of her felt a pang of regret that she had caused it.

This could be a case for Mulder and Scully

"Minerva come home," he said reaching for her hand and intertwining his fingers with hers.

She shook her head. "I can't. Things will never be the same."

"They'll be better."

She laughed hollowing. "No. They won't."

Things are getting strange, now I can't sleep alone

She rose to her feet and exited the room quickly leaving him alone on the bed. When she didn't hear footfalls behind her she allowed herself to break into a run. She ran until she collapsed breathing heavily and looked up the sky. Why was this happening now? And why was she fighting this?

My bed is made for two and there's nothing I can do

She sat up on her knees and did something she hadn't done in years. She screamed. Her voice echoed in her ears as her scream increased in volume but she didn't stop. Not until she ran out of breath. She looked about her surroundings which remained unchanged even after her vocal outpouring of emotion.

"My dear I feel my ears will feel the effects of your dulcet tones for some time."

He sat beside her and drew her close where she began to sob into his chest.

So tell me something I don't know

"Hush my darling," he said softly kissing the top of her head, "I'm here now."

His words made her cry harder and she clung to him tightly.

If my head is full of you is there nothing I can do?

His scent was intoxicating. And against her better judgment she raised her head to look at him.


Must we all march in two by two by two?

He didn't answer as he leant downward and gently brushed his lips against her. She felt his hand reach up and cup the back of her head and draw her closer. She felt herself responding to her better judgment and it wasn't until his other hand ran up her spine that she drew back sharply.

"Don't do this," she pleaded, "Allow me to keep some semblance of my sanity and stop now."

And as for some happy ending, I'd rather stay single and thin

She transformed into her animagus form and dashed away from him into a small copse she had played in as a little girl. She climbed up a tall tree and watched as he searched for her behind every tree and in every bush he passed. She glanced down at the branch as she was sitting down and let out a sob that changed into a yowl through her feline lips.


Elizabeth Cavanaugh for Kael McGonagall

Stop doing what you . . . Keep doing it to me

He glanced upwards and saw her perched in the fork of the branch. She looked away and climbed higher until he was obscured by thick leaves.

"Accio Minerva McGonagall."

He spoke the words before she had a chance to utter the counter curse and she felt down into her arms. He kneeled down and placed her gently on the ground.

"Please transform back. I feel awkward conversing with a cat."

She did as he asked and drew her knees to her chest refusing to look up. He lifted her up as if she weighed nothing and she felt the squeezing sense of apparition. When she opened her eyes they were at the gates of Hogwarts.

Things are getting strange, I'm starting to worry

She struggled in his arms and he let her down gently.

"I'll stay," she said shortly, "But we will never speak of this again."

She turned and strode back to the castle with her held high and her gait long.

This could be a case for Mulder and Scully

As she entered through the doors and made her way into the Great Hall heads turned to look at her. She had forgotten it was dinner time. The students' faces were slightly apprehensive and she gave them all a curt nod which clearly said 'return to your meal.' They did so and she shot a look at the staff table. All teachers caught her eye for a brief moment before turning away hurriedly.

She gave an internal sigh. This afternoon had cost her both her peers and the students respect. And all because of one man.

Things are getting strange, now I can't sleep alone here

She made her exit quickly and moved to her chambers on automatic pilot. Her portrait gave her a sympathetic look as she spoke the password which she ignored. She stood in the centre of her living room and removed her outer robe and allowed it to fall to her feet.

She made her way to her sparse bedroom and lay upon her thin spinster's bed. She buried her face into the pillow and clung to it tightly.

Things are getting strange, I'm starting to worry

She felt the bed expanding beneath her and looked up sharply. He stood at the doorway with his wand aloft and a smile paying on his lips. She pointed to the exit.


This could be a case for Mulder and Scully

He shook his head. "No."

She sat up and glared at him. "Out," she commanded again.

He crossed the room and pulled her into his arms. "Is that really what you what Minerva?" he asked.

She could fell his breath on her neck as he spoke and knew that the heat she was feeling was not coming from the fire.

Things are getting strange, now I can't sleep alone

"It is," she said softly, "Please leave."

"No," he said again placing a finger under her chin and forcing her to look at him, "I know you're lying."

He leant forward and kissed her. She tried to fight but her emotions got the better of her and her arms wrapped around his neck pulling him closer.

So what have you got to say about that?

He pushed her down gently so she was lying on her back and held himself above her. "I love you," he said seriously.

She nodded. "I know."

And what does someone do without love?

He smiled and leant down and brushed the soft skin of her neck with his lips. She sighed deeply savouring the pleasant sensation and gave a soft moan as he moved down to her collarbone pushing her light robe out of the way to grant him better access.

And what does someone do with love?

He made his way back up her neck until he claimed her lips once more. She pulled him toward her with all the strength she could muster and they parted only when they needed to breathe.

"Why the sudden change of mind?" he asked quirking an eyebrow.

And what have you got to say about that?

"I came to my senses."

Author's note:- Okay I know I say this ALL the time but I am really, REALLY not sure about this fic. So reviews and constructive criticism are definitely pleaded for. Cheers. Minniequill

Note:- The song is called 'Mulder and Scully' by the brilliant Catatonia. Not that they're one of my favourite bands or anything...of course not.