SO everyone wants this story, so I'm gonna do it I'm gonna attempt to write this

Doesn't seem that fun sober, but hell I'll try

Wish me luck



Sakura was too busy trying to see Deidara's junk and forgot to go shopping.

So she's stuck with no clothes what so ever.

She was just about to tug all her hair out of her skull when some messed up annoying blue sparkling wind thing appeared in front of her.

"Bippity-Boppity-Boo" Just then some fat grandma in a robe-muumuu appeared waving a plastic stick-thing.

"What the hell are you.."

"I am your fairy godmother, and I can dress you like no other"

"Why the fuck are you rhyming?"

"Cause it's in my contract, now like it or go fuck yourself and that's the fact!"

"Alright, might as well hit me."

Just then some annoying wind thing came about again, and some ugly turtle neck dress with long sleeves and ended at her ankles. Plus it was the most annoying color of yellow.

"What the hell is this?"

"The longer the dress, the less a man presses."

"That didn't even rhyme!" Sakura was frustrated enough without this whack job.

That old raggedy grandma flipped Sakura the bird and left, taking that god awful dress with her.

Sakura just ended up in a rolling stones tank and skinny jeans. Fuck it not like she's going to have a wedding… hopefully.

When she walked out she glanced over at Itachi who hurriedly went back into his room.

Sakura pointed at his door while looking at Deidara with furrowed eyebrows "Was he wearing a tuxedo?"

He shrugged messing with a chainsaw.

"What are you going to use that for?"

He smiled up at Sakura "Making a glory hole from the boys bathroom to the girls, in the restrooms in the park."

"…you do know that a girl will be on the other end of the glory hole, right sweet heart?"

He glared and stomped away, not one for gay jokes I guess.

After the third cockroach snuck into Kisame's protein shake when he turned around Itachi actually came downstairs ready to go.

Sakura was amped so she walked a little faster to be ahead of him then turned around to walk backwards "So, when we planin' on poppin the hood?"

"I have no clue what that means…" itachi was just focused on his thinking

'right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot…'

Sakura frowned and hesitated "Come on, this is booooring; you hafta talk to me one day."

"And I will… once when my life depends on it."

'Tch, figures the day we go out he still holds his sarcasm.'

They picked a little hick restaurant to eat at.

"Well what'd ya'll be havn' this evenin'" God the big teased out red bun on top of her head was killing all eyes around not to mention not only did she sound like a cow, she was chomping on gum like one.

Sakura went with their famous all golden fresh baked waffles and Itachi had toast eggs with bacon.

It was going good, until Sakura's waffle piece didn't land in 'Betsy Lou' the waitresses hair instead hit her back and she noticed the rest of the first waffled nestled in comfortable in-between the millions of curls.

Thus started into some yelling match which ended up as…

"And ya'll are sooo dumb that I'd give you a goat for two cows and four chickens!" Sakura making fun of the whole redneck clan.

Fortunately, Itachi saw Lil Wayne and threw him in the middle of the mob which gave him enough time to book it the hell out dragging Sakura with him.


Sakura and Itachi were chilling on a rock near the base.

"What is the matter with you! You could've gotten us killed!"

"But I didn't did I? No so chill-ax" Itachi noticed Sakura's fish bowl eyes and her wobbly head.

"What are you on?"

"Well I had a cough so I drank some Dellcum."

"How much did you drink?"

"…the whole bottle, two tops." Oh god Sakura's trippin

Itachi couldn't even fathom this day so they just walked back to the base, well Itachi did Sakura was actually 'skipping in a field of singing sunflowers on the sun with lava lamp man.'

Kisame, Deidara, and Itachi were sitting on the couch, while Sakura was in the kitchen talking Ino into drinking a bottle of delcum.

A bottle of cough syrup later Kisame walked in Ino and Sakura on the kitchen floor giving each other fish bowls.

Which believe you me is fucking freaky as hell.

Kisame and Itachi ended up puppet walking Sakura and Ino up to their beds where they sat in the dark with crack eyes talking to their blanket.


Not good, my B dog

Cocaine nose job,