By Kitteh and Neofox
Warnings Fanboys and girls, violence, gore, swearing and plenty of gay fun
Disclaimer Smeets will eat our souls if we dare claim Invader Zim. So yeah, Jhonen can keep his smeets of DOOM! We just want to borrow Dwicky and Dib for a fic, so calm yourselves.
Summary AU DADR. World renown Paranormal Investigator Dib is bored with the same old same old, but when he meets a spunky young fan, things get a little more stimulating.
Geekasmic: the city's largest annual sci-fi convention; if you were into anything remotely paranormal or science fiction related, you were there. It was where every single fan went to talk about the things that interested them and squeal over the things that they obsessed over daily. There were people dressed up as their favorite characters (some more poorly than the rest.) Fans sitting off to the side of a hallway were having arguments over which episode of that famous space drama had the hottest alien women. Other's were pawing and scratching away at the guests that had come to the convention to sign autographs. They refused to let their heroes get away without signing some memorabilia.
Near the front of the convention hall sat one long table in particular. One of the more famous guests sat there, having signed more than his fair share of autographs. Dib let out a long, exasperated sigh. One slender hand moved up to rub at temples as a pen dropped from the other. It was the same thing every year, but the fans just seemed to get worse and worse. Somewhere in between signing someone's trench coat and a pair of fake glasses he thought he had gotten carpal tunnel. Sometimes he just wanted to hide away from all the fame. Or at least hide behind that plant in the corner. That sounded nice.
"Oh, magawd, Mister Dib. I am like your BIGGEST fan!" a girl with violet hair squealed. She approached the man's table as soon as the previous fan left with their pile of autographed junk. Now in Dib's presence she continued the cacophonous noise. "I have all your comics and shirts- and- and- I loved the way you beat up that mutant bell pepper by using its own seeded spawn against it, and then saved the mayor's daughter by swinging across a telephone wire and snatching her from the timed nuclear explosion!" She clasped her hands together. "It was so brave, and fearless, and manly and and- and- can you sign my comics?" The girl plopped down nearly the entire collection of Big Head Alien Hunter: a semi-true Dib story on the table. "Please?" she squeaked, biting her nails with excitement.
Dib couldn't even get a word in edgewise before the books were set in front of him. All he could do was stare for what felt like hours before he remembered he had a tedious job to perform, and that was to make every single fan happy. He really wished there was an item limit, and it didn't help that convention security ran off hours ago. They were the lucky ones. He picked the pen back up and took one of the comics off the pile. Looking it over, he cringed at the title. He let it slide for the moment and glanced at the hyper girl in front of him, trying his best to seem interested. "Who should I sign them to?"
"Zita!" The girl screeched when Dib seemed interested in her name; in that instant, all her wild fan girl dreams came true. "I'm Zita. Please make it out to Zita. Eeee!" she squealed again and leaned over the table to watch Dib sign with interest. "What's it like fighting aliens and discovering new life forms?" She went to biting her nails again eagerly.
Dib didn't even flinch at the loud squawking. He had become used to such noises and zoned them out when he heard them. As soon as he was finished with one comic, he set it aside to pick up another, shrugging his shoulders at the girl's question. "It depends on the situation. Sometimes it can be dangerous. Other times there's not much to it. I've come to know what to expect, but there can be those rare occasions where something actually surprises me. It's a nice change." He lost count of how many times he had answered that question. It was as if people were expecting him to shoot lasers from his eyes.
"That's so amazing! I love you so much, Mister Dib! I can't believe I'm actually talking to you and actually getting your autograph!" Zita bounced in place as if she'd jump out of her skin. "This makes me so happy!"
"Stop alien scum!" A herd of seven acne pockmarked teenagers dressed like the great Paranormal Investigator Dib walked by. "You're not getting away with that, space boy!" another started as the rest piped up. One of the rather pudgy Dibs didn't fit well into his trench coat; he lifted up a green alien toy and squeezed it causing its eyes to bulge out and squeak. "I will defeat you"
"-FOR THE SAKE OF THE HUMAN RACE!" they all chimed in together.
"-and your hair, how do you get it so loooong and pointy?" Dib caught the last of Zita's fawning as the group headed to view another table across the room.
Dib kept his eyes on the group that walked away and he could almost feel his lower eyelid twitch. He almost didn't catch the girl's question and quickly turned his attention back to her. "Huh?" He let out a small sigh when he realized what she asked and turned his full attention back to the pile of comics in front of him. "It's that way on it's own. I can't really tame it no matter what I do to it." He had that answer down to a tee as well. Although, it did nothing to help lessen the stack of books in front of him.
Zita clapped her hands and made a happy noise as soon all of her comics were signed. The people in line behind her was getting annoyed and restless. They started quoting from the live action movie based off one of Dib's adventures saving the world from vengeful ghosts (the real adventure had only taken ten minutes but the media spruced it up and made it a three hour feature). "Thank you Dib! er- Mister Dib! Dib Master o' Greatness, Protector of Earth!" She scooped up her comics and turned to leave. "These'll fetch a good price online!"
Dib shook his cramped hand after the deed was done. He gave a bit of a dirty look at her parting words. He didn't mean to, but he sometimes felt like most of what he did was for nothing. Once the peppy little fangirl was out of his vision, he looked at the long line. So much for his small bit of peace. Groaning, he dropped his head to the table. He didn't even say next, they would come up anyway, whether invited to or not.
The next person was hesitant. He bounced on his toes in eager excitement, just like any of the others who approached Dib's table. The teen walked up to the table and stopped, fidgeting in the man's presence, and staring sideways at Dib. He raised a hand, loose bracelets sliding down his thin arm with a subtle clack. The hand was meant as a salutation; what came out of the boy's mouth was the anything but. "You look like crap," he stated point blank in observation. The teen's eyes widened and he blanched before he turned a nice shade of crimson. He clapped a hand over his mouth; those weren't the first words he wanted to say when he finally met his idol.
Those certainly weren't the words Dib had been expecting from the next person in line. He groaned a little because he knew it was true, although, it was a nice change from the constant praise he normally got: he really was starting to get sick of himself. For a few seconds, Dib stayed as he was before he lifted his head to make eye contact. He gazed at the person in front of him with little interest as he spoke up, his voice muffled by his coat. "I'd like to see you sit here all day and sign your name on an obscene amount of things." He let out a sigh, "Speaking of that, what is it you want me to sign, a shoe-lace with my face on it or something?"
"Sign?" The boy blinked and groped around his person. It was evident that had indeed forgotten to bring anything. He had simply gotten in line and thought things would work themselves out. "Oh. Um." He patted his black t-shirt with a neon green alien bunny saying 'moofies!' on it. "I don't have anything to sign. Did you want to sign something? Er- no- of course you wouldn't want anything to sign. Uh, everyone else ahead of me has said a lot of what I wanted to say. Some twice, but at least more than five times." He fidgeted for a moment. "I'm Dwicky, and I believe in everything you've ever fought and stood for, sir. I've had an interest in aliens and paranormal activity ever since I- well, since ever. I investigated a haunted house that was next door once. Helped a ghost kitty with some unfinished business. She just wanted her rubber mouse toy. Erm, ahem." He rested his hands on the table, leaning forward with new energy. "What I'm trying to say, sir, is," Dwicky stood up and practically glimmered and sparkled with hope, "I would like to be apprentice!" He placed his hands on the table again, leaning forward. "..-and can I touch your dorsal fin?" he added quickly under his breath, sticking out his hand as he tried to 'sneakily' reach over to touch the man's pointy lock of hair.
"Whoa!" Dib sat back in his chair, trying his best to move away from the sudden hand that was stealthing towards him. "You want to be my what now?" He eyed the teenager carefully before he shook his head while he rubbed his eyes under his glasses. "It's official. I've been sitting here too long. I need to take a break." He dropped the pen on the table, as well as his hand, and looked back at the other once his eyes were opened. "Sorry to burst your bubble kid, but I don't really feel the need to take any kind of apprentice." He looked away after he said the words, figuring the teen would leave him alone after that. "Geez, I haven't even been able to eat lunch yet."
Dwicky squeaked and determinedly clenched his hands in front of him. "What about minion? Uh- lackey? pupil? disciple? devotee? helper? assistant? secretary? Er- no wait! Scratch that. I'm bad at taking notes, and booking appointments, but I look rather fabulous in a skirt. Ha ha- yea...done with that thought there," he cleared his throat into a fist. " What about trainee? lap dog? flunky? Yeah, I could grab you a bite to eat." The teen dug into his pocket and pulled out a black wallet with a white heart on it that was connected to a chain hooked onto his belt loop. Dwicky went through his wallet to see just how much money he had on him. He chewed the ring piercing on his lip: all his money for valuable merchandise at the convention. Then again, this opportunity was more invaluable than buying the limited addition collector action figure set of Uranus Explorers. "And a coffee? You like coffee? I like coffee? Can I buy you coffee?" Dwicky couldn't help but bounce on the balls of his booted feet with barely contained excitement.
"Food?" That one thought above all else had Dib turning his eyes back on the eager teen. "You'd be willing to buy me food?" Well, that was a stupid question. Of course every single one of the people in the lineup would have been willing to buy him food.
...maybe do more.
The thought caused him to shudder he spoke up again. "Well, I can't really turn such a thing down if you're offering." He raised a brow as he looked Dwicky over. His expression suddenly skeptical. "You aren't going to stuff me into the back of a van or anything once you get me outside are you?"
Dwicky quickly shook his head. ".. I took the bus here." He pointed a ringed finger toward the door with a blink. "Besides.. you'd kick my face in with some swanky moves if I tried something funny. Sooo." He glanced behind him and noticed the angry and aggravated looks he was getting from other fans.
"I'll buy you food Dib!"
"Me! Me! Pick me! I'll buy you breakfast, lunch AND dinner!" A Dib-dressed fan flailed her arms.
"I'll buy you food for two days!"
"I love you Dib!" a group of girls shrieked in unison near the back of the lineup, and that's when everyone in the lineup decided they'd pipe up with their two cents.
Dib leaned over to look past Dwicky at each person in the line up. The sight caused him to give out another aggravated sigh before he righted himself and looked back at Dwicky. "Well, for my sake let's hope you really are sane." He picked up a piece of paper off of the table and used the pen to write. When he was finished, he folded the paper up and sat it down so that the 'back whenever' message could be seen. Afterwards, he threw the pen aside and stood up from the chair, ignoring everyone's eyes on him as he tried to stretch the kinks out of his back. "Finally, freedom."
There was a round of sad groans and much like a horde of zombies they stumbled forward with arms outstretched towards Dib. Dwicky let out a chirp of surprise and climbed onto the desk to avoid being trampled. "Well that's just eerie."
With sticky fingers and wide lewd grins, the fans came towards Dib. The mass squirmed as others from the back tried to worm their way closer in the crowd to get to Dib. Their cartoon-quoting mouths drooled as their voices blended together into a single groan of Dib's name over and over again.
Dib's wrist was grabbed and he was yanked away from the clutches of the disturbing clingy fans.
"Speak not of liberation yet, sir." Dwicky grinned back at Dib as he pulled the man into the crowd of the convention to lose the group. "Man, fans are scary."
Dib hadn't expected to be pulled away from that which he had grown accustomed to, so he stumbled. As much as he was used to running around, jumping over things, and all around physical activity, being pulled around a convention hall by a teenager wasn't on that list. Dwicky's words had him raising a brow as soon as he found his footing, not ready to pull his arm back yet if the teen was so willing to help him. "So, what do you come here for? The scenery?" He rolled his eyes and focused on some of the booths they passed by. "I'm sure you weren't planning that whole little speech your whole way here, right? Nope, not at all."
Dwicky flushed and just quickened his footing, weaving past the lesser popular geeks with their more questionable home made costumes (mom did most of the work).
One of them pointed to Dib, "Wow! Look at his costume! So authentic."
Another scoffed, "Pffft, as if. His hair is SO not right. And his clothes... Ha! Dib wouldn't be caught dead in that tacky thing. I can see the glue."
Dwicky gripped the man's wrist tighter as he answered Dib,"Y-yea, well, uh- most of it was improv!" He looked about shifty-eyed. "M-most of it." He huffed. "You try talking to a celebrity without sounding like some creepy fanboy when the first two seconds of meeting someone makes a first impression." Dwicky's hand met his face as he rubbed it in frustration. " 'You look like crap,'" he mocked himself under his breath, speaking to himself. "What kind of first impression is that?" He pulled Dib to the outskirts of the crowded room.
"Actually, as blunt as it was, it was nice to hear something other than, 'Oh, Dib, you're so awesome!' or 'Mister Dib, you're so amazing! I loved when you slapped that alien with the giant squid. It was so cool!" Dib blinked his eyes at that, and turned his attention back to Dwicky. His voice was no longer imitating every fan that ever came near him. "So, yeah, I'd rather be told I look horrible than the usual greatness. It gets a little tiring." When he was sure things were safer, he pulled his arm back from the teen and rubbed at his wrist as he walked. "Be glad they didn't come after your blood."
Dwicky was too busy looking at his hand with awe. "...And I'll never wash this hand again," he paused and slowly looked to Dib. Noting his own actions, he quickly put his hand behind his back giving a wide grin of innocence. "Well then, you look like a hobo whose seen better days on a drinking binge." He laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. He looked forward quickly. "Mkay, not winning any prizes here." He pointed at the two door exit out, which was far across the room and in open territory: Dib was an easily noticeable target there. Dwicky was about to open his mouth when he was cut short by a small child that clung to Dib's coat tails, being dragged along as the man walked.
"I love you Dibbeh!"
Seemed he was an easy target period. Tall, dark and cool didn't blend well in a huge sci-fi convention such as this.
Dib had been ready to respond to Dwicky's earlier words, but the sudden weight on his coat caused him to shut his mouth and turn his head. He stopped where he was and didn't look all too thrilled by the extra weight. For a few seconds he stayed silent before he looked up and a completely shocked expression came over his face as he pointed in the opposite direction of the door. "Oh my god! Is that the star of Galaxy Tears?! I-I think it is!" His eyes went wider as he piled it on. "And is she giving out free limited edition action figures?!" He let out a small gasp, "I think she is!"
All he had to do was wait.
"Really!? Where!?" the child and Dwicky spoke in unison. The child sprung up and immediately dashed into the crowd to find the female star. A few fans from the booths they stood in front of went running like cattle too.
Dwicky froze and blinked, turning to Dib closing one eye and pointing to him with warm cheeks. "That-- that was... low. Smart, but below the belt." He patted his black studded belt in gesture and stuck out his pierce-studded tongue.
Dib couldn't help grinning, especially at Dwicky's words. "Works every time." He turned his eyes back on the teenager, a small smile still on his lips as he spoke up. "You fans are just too easy. That's all there is to it." He shrugged his shoulders as he walked past the other and towards the exit doors now that the way was clear. "Nothing is going to stand in my way of getting a free meal."
Dwicky rolled his eyes and followed the man. He glanced back behind and his thick, dark brows raised. He tapped Dib's shoulder. "How about that group of girls dressed like the Supah Dupah Love Sugar Magical Elementy Girls back there?" Dwicky pointed behind them and the loud girlish squeal that followed echoed throughout the large convention hall.
Dib had to plug his ears with his fingers, but it really didn't help. As soon as he was sure it was safe, he dropped his hands and kept one squinted eye on the mob as he turned around to look at them. He moved his arms out to grab hold of Dwicky, and placed the teenager between him and the squealing fangirls. "If not an apprentice, you'll make a good shield."
"Hey-! N-now wait a tick!" Dwicky stammered as he held his hands out, as if that would be enough to keep the herd of screaming, giggling girls at bay. "You're the hero- not me!" He made several panicked noises, but the girls weren't stopping anytime soon. He backed up towards Dib, stumbling into the man. "I'm not trained to be a shield." He jerked around to face Dib, slamming hands into him to push him through the door to escape.
"C'mon girls- SUPAH SWEET FORMATION!" The girls in their rainbow-coloured, frilly dresses moved into an arrow formation as they chased, all flailing their arms in obscene poses.
Dib's eyes widened as the crazy girls ran after them both. With quick steps, he grabbed hold of Dwicky's arm, pulling the teen the last few steps towards the exit and out the doors. At the last second the door closed, stopping the creepy fangirls and almost causing them to ram their faces into the glass doors. It only caused Dib to grin, waving at them through the barrier as he kept his hold on Dwicky.
Dwicky placed a hand on his chest and breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Turning his head, his eyes snapped wide as that breath caught in his throat. Right across from them were a group of fans slathered in green paint and squeezed into karate uniforms. They grunted long and hard while veins bulged in their foreheads as they strained to power up. Dwicky paled and tapped Dib on the shoulder, then pointed at the sight.
The commotion drew their attention, and then they saw Dib. Seeing and hearing such bulging, thick-necked males squeal with delight was a frightening scene that could be bested by no other in any of the known galaxies.
"Huh?" Dib turned his eyes towards where Dwicky pointed and his good mood was shot down instantly. He stuttered for a few seconds, trying to come up with something to say, but nothing really came to mind. Fans were very scary people who sucked out all of his intelligence, and it never really seemed to do them any good. Finally he leaned over to whisper near Dwicky's ear, having let go of the teen's arm as he did so. "I think now would be a very good time to start running."
The hair on the back of Dwicky's neck began to prickle, but it wasn't out of horror; at least not anymore. He slowly glanced at Dib and gave a slight nod. "...very fast." He snatched up Dib's hand and sprinted down a random corridor pulling Dib with him.
Dib was ready this time as he was yanked away. He kept in step with Dwicky, making sure not to fall behind the teen, even as he was pulled. He looked behind to see how close the creepy fans were and let out a noise. They were trying to catch up. "Not fast enough... Faster!" He passed the other, and yanked on Dwicky's arm in an attempt to lose the fans.
The Orbs of Martian Men fans grunted and in unison they stretched out their arms and let out a continuous low screaming groan that caused them to run faster. Even with the green paint, their faces were starting to turn crimson.
That in itself had Dwicky forcing himself to move faster in wide-eyed fear. "This is so incredibly wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong! People are so much more terrifying than alien lifeforms!" Panic was rising in Dwicky's voice and he was desperate to find a quick way out. So he turned a sharp corner, snapping Dib along by his arm, into the first door he could find.
It was the womens washroom.
Tons of half dressing, gossiping, giggling, doodling, nose powdering, unexpecting females turned their attention as the two males came clambering in.
Boots screeched to a dead stop, and there was nothing but dead silence. Awkward...
After what felt like, and quite probably was, several hours, Dib raised a hand while trying his best to think of something to say. "Uhh...Um...Hmm!" Nothing, and with that he dropped his hand back down. Of course in his mind, women at a convention always meant squealing, giggling fangirls, and that thought only caused him to swallow hard while trying not to make it look like he was stepping back towards the door they had come in from.
Dwicky pointed at one girl. ".. Hey I know you, you go to my skool."
The girl, who had been slipping off her shirt to dress into a rather geeky ensemble, instantly went bright red in the face. "PERVERT!" She threw her shirt at him and she squeaked when she realized she had nothing more to cover her chest.
Dwicky let out a surprised noise as the t-shirt fell, covering his head.
"Get him!" one girl shouted.
Dwicky let out an even louder surprised noise from under the shirt.
"DIIIB!" the rest of the girls screamed in high pitched voices.
Dwicky turned sharply to run and smacked right into Dib with absolutely no grace whatsoever. He clung to the man's coat. "RUN! --again!"
"Right.." Dib grabbed onto one of Dwicky's arms. "Running!" He was out of the room as fast as he could go, not once daring to look back. He didn't know which was worse, the creepy, green martian fanboys or the squealing, excitable fangirls. They pretty much broke off even in his mind. Especially when he had to keep running away from them all.
The girls spilled out of the washroom, rushing to chase. As other random wandering people noted their apparel, or rather their lack thereof, they stopped with embarrassment colouring their faces. With groans and clawing hands at the air, they whined for Dib to come back.
Dwicky tripped over himself, unable to see where exactly he was going from under the shirt. He yanked it off and righted his staggering steps to follow Dib through the hall. Looking behind him he gave a relaxed sigh. "Ahh.. they aren't following. And those scary Orb fans seemed to have gotten their stupid selves lost."
That was all Dib needed to finally stop in his tracks. He let go of Dwicky's arm and tried to catch his breath as he leaned against a wall. He looked to the side and eyed the teen for a few seconds as he calmed down before he shook his head. "Are you sure you belong here?" Before Dib could get an answer out of the other, a noise to his side caused him to almost jump. He turned his head around to look and his eyes widened. Every single one of the kids near him were holding colored plastic tubes while wearing every shade of bathrobe, and Dib could only roll his eyes as well as plug his ears at the obscene sound effects the toys were making. One small thing caught his eye though, and he pointed to one kid in particular who didn't have the luxury of a novelty item. "Did you paint over a broom handle?" All the kid did was glare at him.
The teen beside Dib let out an exhausted groan as he rubbed his face, keeping his hand there as he peered through his fingers with one eye at the scene. It was hard not to show interest.
"Calm yourself, Noble Quiggly-jiggly." A stocky kid walked up to the angry boy. "That is not our way." The girl shook a finger in calm chastising. " 'Anger leads to madness' -"
" '-Madness leads to crazies' " Dwicky couldn't help but continue.
" '-And crazies lead to the dark corner of the Farce.' " the girl continued with a smile.
" 'But Master, how am I to defeat Dark-Dookie?' " Dwicky clapped his hands in mock plea.
" 'With this one ring'." The girl pulled a shoe string necklace with a plastic ring on it with gibberish writing scratched into it. "--'To rule them all!' "
" 'One circle to fool them all, one circular ball to spite them!' " Everyone chimed in.
Dwicky stopped and let out a horribly nervous laugh, blushing didn't help his embarrassment either. "You-you didn't hear that." He stepped back. "Or-or see.. or see that either." He stepped back until he was far out of Dib's vision, hiding behind him. There was a sound of a hand meeting a forehead, followed by a 'stupid!'. Dwicky leaned over peering past Dib's side. "See. I do belong here." He frowned and went back to being hidden behind the man's back.
Dib was pretty sure his brain had died somewhere in between the whole show. Suddenly having Dwicky behind him caused him to snap back to reality and turn his attention on the teen for a few seconds. Only then did he let out a groan and rub at his face with one hand. He turned around and started to walk away, no longer a shield for the other. "Screw this. I'll get my own food. You're all crazy."
"H-hey!" Dwicky raised a hand and waved it. "Don't leave your shiny new apprentice behind!" He pushed past the robed warriors of the Farce to follow after Dib, walking beside him. "'Crazy'. That's an interesting thing to say coming from a person like you." He glanced at Dib before shoving his hands in his pockets and watching the ground as he walked.
Dib glanced sideways at Dwicky and rolled his eyes as he kept walking. "I'm far from crazy. I'd say I'm one of the more rational and sane people in this building right now." He shrugged his shoulders. "I may take what I do seriously, but that doesn't make me crazy or as whacked out as some people." He let out a small sigh at finally having some peace as they walked towards the exit. "And you aren't my apprentice."
Dwicky loosely shrugged his shoulders. "It's the one place where people can come together to let themselves go and have a good time without the social norm weighing them down, beating them up or letting them hang wedgie-fied by the elastics of their underwear." He pointed a finger at Dib but didn't look at him as he continued to talk. "Not that I've read up on your personal history, and studied your works, or idolize you or anything, but.. people did call you crazy." Dwicky tried to stifle a small chuckle. "Not that you are. Of course not." He couldn't help but grin Dib's way. "And I did help you escape the dungeon, and torture." He gestured to the exit. "At least give me a little credit."
Dib mumbled something that sounded very close to 'stalker' under his breath. He didn't go on about it and only kept walking, glancing at Dwicky one last time before he gave another sigh. "I guess I owe you something. Apprentice is a bit much, though. Besides, like I told you, I've never even considered something like that." When they reached the doors he held them open for Dwicky to go through before he went through them himself, digging for his keys after the door closed behind them. "I'm used to working alone and having an apprentice is more like babysitting."
"Then partner!" Dwicky blurted, walking backwards to face Dib. "With a partner- the babysitting goes both ways." He pointed left to right with both hands, his bracelets lightly clicking. "A partner can pull you out of tight jams, like back there. Two heads are better than one when it comes to a difficult situation.. like back there. I've had experience in the field. Ghosts, spooks, apparitions, demons, phantoms, poltergeists, devils, wraiths, zombies, shadow men, --boogie men! I've studied up on extraterrestrials. Were-people. Uhh. Mutants. C'mon, sir, Dib-sir." Dwicky slowed down and in affect stopped Dib. ".. Give me a chance." He tapped the man's chest lightly over his heart.
Dib moved his free hand up to grab onto Dwicky's wrist, gaining his personal space back when he pulled the teen's hand away. "Somehow I have a feeling you won't stop bugging me until I say yes to anything you ask, either way." He dropped Dwicky's hand and shook his head. "I know I won't like this idea. I've been perfectly happy doing things on my own." He stayed silent for a little bit, but finally dropped his eyes back down as he twirled his keys around a finger. "First of all, stop calling me sir. I am not going to be able to stand hearing that through a whole partnership. I hear it enough already."
Dwicky's eyes grew wide, absolutely wide. " 'Partnership'. " he echoed. " ... I think I just forgot how to breathe." He sucked in a large breath and wheezed his next words. "One- one minute, s-- Dib." He raised a finger and rushed around a corner of the building. Loud squeals, hoots and celebratory noises could be heard, along with bouncing and jumping, followed by a good load of Yes! Yes! Yes!'s. Dwicky then came back, calm as can be, but with the widest grin across his face ever to be seen. "Thank you, Dib." The boy grinned wider, if that was possible. "I've got your back, partner." He offered a friendly ring adorned hand to shake.
Dib raised a brow, but he still couldn't help the small smirk on his face. "Right..." He lifted his hand and shook the one offered to him. Once that was done, he let go and toyed with his keys once more as he turned to walk towards the parking lot. "Well, since you said you took the bus to get here, then we're taking my car. I refuse to ride the bus right now when the convention is in town. It's probably worse than the convention."
Dwicky gave that some thought; the mental image wasn't a good one and he nodded. "Good plan." He sighed oh so happily to himself while petting the hand that Dib had shaken. ".. and I'll never wash this hand again either." He held his wrist, looking at his hand over. Quickly he darted his eyes around and when Dib wasn't looking he licked his hand. "It's almost like ki-- no- bad Dwicky. No acting weird in front of the Dib." Dwicky quickly shook his head and followed Dib to his car. Though as he approached the car a pleased dreamy look settled on his face. "..I'm gunna be driving in Dib's car." he murmured happily to himself. Quickly he shook his head again. "I'm working on getting my drivers license, actually." He quickly spoke up to Dib, hoping the other didn't catch anything he did.
Dib had been too busy looking over his car as soon as they got close enough to make sure none of the extreme fans had taken to stealing parts off of it. When Dwicky spoke up, it almost startled Dib and he turned around after poking at one of the mirrors on the sleek black car to make sure it was still in place. "Well, that's no big deal. You won't be the one driving anyway." He pointed towards the passenger side. "You can just ride around with me until I find us a decent place to stop and grab something at." He waved a hand. "I'm not going to make you pay for anything expensive. I'll make sure you have money left over for the convention. I just want something to satisfy me for the time being."
Dwicky glanced to the side as Dib got in the car, a rather catty look as his mind stopped at 'satisfy me'. "Heh heh.. suuure. I'll satisfy you." He opened the door and crawled in, closing it after. He wiggled in the seat, his wallet chain jingling with the action. "Uwww. Cozy. Roomy." He tapped his booted feet. "Don't worry about the money. I don't need any stupid merchandise to keep me happy." Dwicky waved a hand dismissively. "Not when I have the real authentic thing." He pulled his seat belt on with a click, bouncing a little. He stopped and looked at Dib. "... That came across as a little spooky didn't it?" Dwicky tried to smile.
Dib nodded his head at the question. "Pretty much." He started the car up and proceeded to back out of the parking lot as soon as he had it in reverse. "I'm used to it all, though, so it doesn't really bug me that much anymore. I mean, of course it does when I'm being chased around a convention. Being told certain things...that's fine." He shrugged as he put the car in drive and went on down the street. "There's a lot of it I'm sick of. Hearing it every once in a while I guess wouldn't be so bad, but having people fawn over me day in and day out just gets annoying." He glanced at Dwicky and smiled a little. "And yeah, spooky."
Dwicky tapped his fingers together and glanced at Dib before looking back to them. ".. Well, I guess it's hard to say something new that hasn't already been said or praised about. It may sound redundant after a while but.. uh." He shrugged his arms. "It just means you're doing a good job.. so.. to speak, yeah." He fidgeted some more. "But hey, if you don't wanna talk about you, we could talk about me. Ooor, we could just leave it at 'Dwicky'." He gave a tiny nervous chuckle. "Whatever you'd like."
Dib shook his head as he kept his eyes on the road. "Actually, it would be nice to hear about someone other than myself for a change." He nodded his head towards Dwicky since his hands were occupied on the steering wheel at the moment. "Go ahead, tell me about yourself. I mean, it's obvious you're into the paranormal. You've told me that. But, I just want to know about you." When they hit a stop light, Dib leaned back in the seat and turned his eyes away to give his full attention to Dwicky for a little bit. "This is the chance you've wanted, right? Just spill whatever you want about yourself."
Dwicky opened his mouth, but the pressure of Dib's words left nothing coming out. He tried again but all that came was a nervous squeak. The gravity of the situation was finally weighing heavily upon him. He stuttered for a few and scratched his head. "Uhhhh... hi! My name is Dwicky." He ended that with a smile and a small 'eh-heh'. He then went silent and hung his head. "Oh yea, blew that chance."
Dib had to laugh at that. It couldn't really be helped. He turned his eyes ahead once more and kept them on the light, waiting for it to change as he spoke up after his laughter. "You need to calm down. Just act as if you were talking to someone you normally talked to. Like, one of your friends or family." The light changed and he paused a moment to start down the street again. "We're going to be working together, so you need to get used to that. I'm just an average person. Please treat me like one." He sounded desperate there.
Dwicky ran a hand through his long bangs but they fell back down all the same. "Right, okay. Gotcha." He pointed at Dib with a grin. "You're the boss." He fiddled with one of his string bracelets in thought. "Let's see.. I'm seventeen. I go to the local skool down in town. My favorite colour is green. My favorite food is taco salad. I hate pop culture but I love the fashion. My main interests are aliens, U.F.O.s and their propaganda. Sometimes I just sit on my roof all day and stare at the stars hoping to catch a glimpse of some kinda space shipy thingy. I have a really ugly website that has random dancing alien on it where I put up all my findings. But, uh.. like I said. I suck at notes." He cleared his throat. "I like alternative music, sci-fi movies of almost any kind and horror movies make me squeamy. I also like kittens, foxes, hate the taste of turkey. I have three piercings in my left ear, four in my right, one in my eyebrow, tongue, belly button; I'm thinking of a tattoo; no I'm not a masochist, and I like it hot and hard up against a wall." He clapped his hands together on his lap and smiled pleasantly, done.
Dib nodded his head a bit as he listened to each thing Dwicky said. The last little thing the teen threw out, though, caused his eyes to widen and his attention to snap over to the other instead of on the road where it should have been. "Uh, what was that?" A loud horn came from outside the car and Dib turned his attention back to the road just in time to see that he was in the wrong lane. He let out a loud curse as he swerved back into his own lane, avoiding the car that had been in front of him and ignoring the gesture they made at him.
"And I don't own any pets." Dwicky quickly answered, clinging to his seat belt across his chest. "Yea.. -no pets for me!" He looked at Dib. "None. Nadda. Zip. Zilch. I'm not home enough to take care of one." He gave half a smile, hoping Dib bought it. "Nice driving."
Dib was still trying to get his breathing under control, but he had heard Dwicky's words. As soon as he settled down enough, Dib rolled his eyes not at all convinced. "Sure, whatever you say." He glanced to the side at the teen very quickly, making sure to pay more attention to the road this time. "You're a very bad liar. You might want to work on that."
Dwicky shrugged. "I'm more for the truth myself: finding the truth, proving the truth. Lying is what made the cover ups for the unknown anyway." He let out a sigh and flopped back in the chair, placing a hand over his head. "Besides, partners should know everything and anything about each other." He drabbled his fingers on his chest. "And since I already know a good bit about you, I certainly have nothing to hide." The teen glanced out his window.
Dib shook his head at the answer. He couldn't help reaching over to ruffle up Dwicky's hair, trying to get the teen to lighten up and stop acting so serious all of a sudden. "Well, while that's good to know, maybe the little bit about how hot and hard you like it should remain a secret." He took his hand back and placed it on the steering wheel again. "Unless of course you know something like that about me that I should know about." He became a little disturbed at that thought. "Now that's spooky."
Dwicky huffed, fluttering dark hair that had fallen into his eyes at the ruffle, but he reacted as Dib had predicted and smiled. "No, unfortunately all the magazines, biographies, newspapers and other media don't supply those little nuggets of information." He laughed a little at himself and just how open he was at the moment. "I guess there are still some things about you that remain a mystery to the world. Although," Dwicky drew out the word, "what people don't know they'll just make up." He couldn't help the grin. "People write all kinds of interesting 'stories' about you, ya know. Not that I've read them of course. But, uh.. yea- people put you in the most," he quickly cleared his throat, "interesting of positions with their own characters. So to speak."
Dib groaned, and if he could have, he would have crawled in a hole and never bothered to leave. Sadly, he was the one driving. "I worry about you fans sometimes. I really do." He shook his head and let out another noise before he turned his attention back to the road. Only after a few moments did he finally pull into the parking lot of a small fast food restaurant. He found a decent parking spot and shut off the car, pocketing the keys once the engine was off. "Now, hopefully I'll be able to eat in peace," he mumbled as he got out of the car. "Wishful thinking, I'm sure."
"Wait!" Dwicky put his hands out to halt Dib. "A celebrity going into a dinky little grease bin equals peace? Highly unlikely. You'll be lucky to take one bite of your burger while signing napkins all day." He rubbed his hands together. "You," he pointed at Dib, "should go- INCOGNITO!" He brandished the girl's shirt that had been thrown on his face before: it was white and had a ladybug printed on the front. "No one suspects the ladybug." He made the shirt dance.
Dib looked back and forth between Dwicky and the shirt. Up and down, multiple times until he was sure he was going to get dizzy. His eyes stopped on the teen and he raised a brow. His arms crossed over his chest and he couldn't help the amused look that came over his face. "You're kidding, right?"
"Nope!" Dwicky grinned wider.
Dib looked back at the shirt for a bit before he finally reached out to grab it. "I can't believe this." He shrugged off his coat, freeing a hand to throw it in the back seat. Next to come off was his shirt, which followed the coat into the back seat as well. He went about tugging on the small shirt. It took a few tries, but he finally got his head and arms through. After it was done, he looked down at himself and tugged at a sleeve. "I look ridiculous."
Dwicky didn't seem to hear, he had a very dreamy look on his face. "... I just saw Dib topless." He fanned himself with one hand before he clasped both of them together. "My life is complete. I can die happy now." He melted back. He paused and glanced to Dib who was staring at him. "Er- ignore that.. whole- thingy," he twirled a finger, "... just now." Quickly Dwicky sat up and dug something out of his pocket; a Geekasmic ball cap, which he promptly put on Dib's head to hide the zig-zaggy scythe-lock atop his head. "There! Now you look ridiculous! The masterpiece is complete!"
Dib gave the other an annoyed look as the cap was placed on his head. He knew it had to be done, but it didn't mean he had to like it. "Gee, thanks." He looked out of the window towards the restaurant and his body seemed to slump. "Well, might as well get this over with. Whatever ends up happening..." Once more Dib moved to exit the car, closing the door behind him and waiting for Dwicky.
Dwicky got out of the car and headed to the fast food joint with Dib. "You should have an incognito name too. Hmm. How about 'Bid?'" He cackled to himself as he wiggled his fingers. "See, Dwicky doesn't translate as good backwards. Ee-kewwduh. Yeaa, no. Lucky for me, I'm not famous... yet!" He looked Dib over, grinning wider at the less than impressed look Dib was giving him. "Don't you look precious." He held the door open for the man. "After you, boss."
Dib gave the other a sideways glance as he entered the restaurant. "Do you ever calm down? I mean at all?" Despite the words, Dib still couldn't help grinning, not meaning anything bad by them. As soon as he was inside, he looked around and let out a relieved sound when he noticed the small queue near the front. It meant that he would be able to get his food quickly. The amount of people already eating didn't really bug him since Dwicky had thought up the clever disguise. Of course, whether it worked was another story.
They stood in line and Dwicky pulled out his wallet again to thumb through his currency. "So, what wouldja like? Order as much as you like. I'm good for it." He glanced up with a smile. "I'm thinking about going vegetarian myself. Not that one not eating meat can really protest against the disgusting treatment of livestock.. but because I had a bad experience with poultry once. Turkey.. yeah- don't ask.. It's probably healthier too on a few levels, but I love the taste of cow so- omnivorous I stay."
Dib nodded his head a little with each word Dwicky said. He gave up halfway through trying to speak, and just let the teen talk all he wanted. When they were next in line, Dib moved a hand out to place it on Dwicky's mouth, trying his best to silence the other for at least the moment. "It's our turn. Try and focus on ordering, then go back to talking about yourself." He let his hand fall away and looked back at the menu. Still deciding on what he wanted.
Dwicky nodded, eyes wide as his cheeks warmed over in embarrassment. "S-sorry." he whispered.
"Welcome to McMeaties home of the meat on meat sandwich and brand new crunchy meat milk shake. Nice to meat you, what can I get you?" a greasy looking teen behind the counter greeted them.
"... Bid just touched my lips." Dwicky stared happily into nothingness.
The cashier just looked at him funny.
A kid behind them in the line up pointed at Dib. "Mommy isn't that-?"
"Hush! Don't point at strange looking men." the woman quieted him.
Dib flinched at the words spoken behind him, but he tried to ignore them. It was a close enough call and he hoped not to have to deal with another one anytime soon. He turned his attention away from the menu and down to the person behind the counter, deciding on what he had wanted, and just wanting to get out of the line. "I'll have a double pork deluxe and a small order of fries." He elbowed Dwicky in the side in an attempt to get the teen to pay attention once more.
"McBeefy and a large cola, please and thanks." Dwicky nodded sagely.
The cashier rung it up and in seconds the order was given to them on a tray, which Dwicky took as he headed to a table. The teen plopped down and grabbed his burger, unwrapping it to eat; although he didn't just yet. He was far more interested in watching Dib eat. Trying his best not to stare, he instead busied himself with sipping his drink.
Dib wasted no time digging into his own food, and he paid no mind to Dwicky. He hadn't eaten since early morning, and even then he had only been able to eat a small breakfast bar. While he held onto his sandwich, his other hand dug into his fries, taking out a few to chew on and licking the seasoning off of his fingers afterwards. He felt eyes on him and immediately looked up, chewing slowly at first, but quickly trying to remedy that so he could speak. "What?"
"Nothing. Nothing. Nothing at all." Dwicky waved a hand. It certainly wasn't the fact he was eating with his hero, and one of the most well known people ever: the defender of the entire planet. Newp, it couldn't be that. "I'm keeping quiet, letting you eat. Chow down. Eat your fill." He picked up his burger and ate.
Dib shrugged and took a bite out of his sandwich. The silence came back until he he swallowed another bite. "I have to admit that you aren't half as bad as most of the people that come to see me." He set his sandwich down and poked at it instead. "You're actually quite tolerable. Amusing would be a good word." He let his hand fall to the table and looked to Dwicky. "Are you sure you're going to be able to do a partnership kind of thing, though? I mean, you're a teenager. You have skool, parents, and other such things to worry about, right?"
"Skool is only six hours of my time wasted five days a week. There are weekends. And my parents leave me well enough alone. They keep telling me I'm crazy and that I should stop with this 'paranormal Bee Ess.'" Dwicky made quote fingers, lowering them back down to drum along the edge of the table. "Everyone says I'm crazy.. so, I have a lot of free time on my hands to do what I like." It was a kinder way of saying he had no real friends. Dwicky shrugged. "But that just makes my research easier with no one to bug me all the time." He chewed on his lip ring a moment, running his tongue along it before he spoke again. "So I'm free every day." He gave a more hopeful look. "Completely able. Hell, you can pull me right out of class if you need me. It's not like they're teaching me anything worth learning," Dwicky scoffed. "We dissected a bean last class. A bean! There's nothing worth seeing inside a bean." Dwicky cleared his throat, "... so I kind of ate mine. Got kicked out of class so I could spy on the janitor. No one believes me, but he's really a vampire pirate ghost here to scour out his long lost treasure buried somewhere on the skool grounds." Dwicky blinked and looked away, quickly grabbing his drink to sip on.
Dib picked up a fry and moved it from side to side as he spoke up. "Sounds familiar." He shrugged his shoulders. "But, you know every little thing about my life, so, I'm sure you knew that already." He popped the fry in his mouth. "It's good that you're eager about what you believe in. I can't shoot that down or else I would just be shooting down everything I'm for. I guess I'm just being a little cautious about the whole thing. I can't even remember the last time I worked with anyone, which means it was years ago." He leaned back in his chair while keeping his eyes on the other. "I don't want you to regret it either. Sometimes it can be annoying." The earlier events came back to him. "Really annoying."
Dwicky looked around, then drummed both hands on the table. "Newp, I'm good." He grinned widely before folding his hands together, ready and eager.
Dib kept his eyes on the other for a few moments before he finally gave in and leaned forward once more. "Alright then." He reached over and grabbed Dwicky's drink. He forgot to get his own. He removed the lid so he could drink from the cup and placed it back on once he was finished. "You do realize that after we're done here, I have to go back to the convention and finish signing, right? This time the only difference is you'll be standing near me instead of in line." He picked up his sandwich. "Of course, I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to hide out. I might just do that for a while myself."
"You don't have to worry, I'll keep you company. What are partners for, if not to keep each other entertained during times of utter boring crisis?" Dwicky ate a bite of his burger before he went on. "You know what you need? A rubber stamp with your signature on it. Just slam it onto people's merchandise one after the other. Of course, you'd have to keep a safe eye on it so the forces of evil, obsessive fans, don't steal it and ... and.. okay so it's not practical." He reached over and stole a few fries from Dib, stuffing them into his mouth with a grin. "That's for the cola stealing."
Dib pointed at the cup. "I thought my mouth on a plastic cup would have been more than enough to make you happy." A small smirk came to his lips. "You could sell it on the internet for a good amount of cash." He finished off his sandwich and balled up the paper it came in. "Or, you could put it in a shrine. Don't all of you fans have one of those?" It was fun to tease.
Dwicky's eyes adverted. "Nooo." He cleared his throat. "Besides, you said to treat you like a normal person. And a fries for cola trade is fair game. Anyway, doing something like that would be extortion, an abuse of my position with you." Dwicky stared. Wait, that last part didn't sound right. "I'm the honest one, member?" He took his drink, holding it in both hands as he looked down at it. He took a sip from it and got that same look he's had in line. "... Dib makes the cola taste better."
Dib pointed a finger at the teen. "That's creepy. You're creepy, Dwicky." He leaned back once more, keeping his eyes on the other as if Dwicky would suddenly pounce on him at any given moment. "At any rate, it's going to be nice to have at least someone around while I deal with everyone at the convention." He moved a hand up to scratch at the cap; the material was starting to annoy him a bit. "Finally someone sane to talk to while I'm there. Well, halfway sane." He grinned a little.
Dwicky pouted around the straw. He put the drink down. "Hey I'd like to see you try to act un-creepy and sane around your idol. Hmm. I could throw myself at you if you really want. Shower you with compliments. Faaawwwn. Ask you the same stupid fan questions, day in and day out." He chuckled and remembered he had a burger to eat.
"That's okay. I'll pass." Dib moved a hand out to pick up the last few fries, speaking only after he was done chewing on them. "I may get used to all of the compliments and screaming, but being called someone's idol is something I'll never get used to. It still feels weird." He rested an elbow on the table so he could lay his chin on a hand. "Not that it isn't enjoyable. I'm flattered at such a thing, really. It's just hard to come to terms with the fact that people look up to me so much. I just do what I do."
"Don't you have an idol? Or- used to have an idol when you were a wee little Dib? er- Bid. I'm sure they felt the same way. And I'm sure you would have acted the same way as your fans do around whoever it was," Dwicky grinned and winked. "Am I right?" He took another bite of his burger.
Dib thought about it for a moment and nodded after a bit. "You're right." He stared at Dwicky for a moment before a slow grin came to his lips. "I wasn't always this jaded, ya know. I used to love every little tiny bit of praise that came my way. Even if it was the most embarrassing." He waved a hand dismissing all of those thoughts. "Then it got to a point where I wanted to push all of it onto someone else. Especially when they started on that movie." He snorted and looked away. "They wish I went out with that super model. Such a bunch of bull."
Dwicky swallowed what he was chewing. "Hey, she was hot. I think I saw her on a shampoo commercial once." He picked up a napkin and wiped his mouth. "You could go out with a super model if you wanted. Hell, you probably already have." He blinked honestly curious now. "Have you? Heh, perks of the job.. everyone throws themselves at you." He scratched the side of his head glancing away at his own remark. Tossing the napkin on the table he looked back to Dib. "Must be tough." He gave a weak grin.
"Everyone throws themselves at me for the sake of being in some form of spotlight." Dib shook his head and straightened up. "I don't really bother with relationships for just that reason. I mean, I tried a few times. They never really ended very well." He looked back at Dwicky. "Of course I'm sure you already knew all of this, and I'm probably just boring you with little tidbits of my personal life, now." He smiled a bit.
Dwicky gave a sheepish look. "Maybe.. er- not maybe you're boring me but maybe I've had a look at a bit of media. But it's more what you've done and not who that I've been interested in." He shoved the rest of his burger in his mouth before he incriminated himself more. Of course it didn't go down as easy and he patted his chest with a fist before he chased it down with large mouth full of cola. "Ah. Better." And then thanks to carbonation, he let loose a loud belch which caused many a customer to stare at him. He sunk lower in his seat. "...scuse me."
Dib tried to hide his laughter behind a hand. He gave up trying to stay quiet after a while, and dropped his hand. Only after he got himself under control did he speak up, "Well, it certainly won't be dull having you around. That's for sure." He let out another quiet laugh as he leaned back and draped his arms over the back of his chair. "I have a lot of work to catch up on. There's some things I've been putting off that really need to get done. After the convention, depending on how late it is, I might bring you by my place so you can see what sort of cases you'll be helping me with."
Dwicky sat up. "Your place? As in- your house? As in- where you live? As in- me walking over the threshold and into your home- with couches, beds and counters?" He made a happy little sound as he swayed from side to side. "Erm. Yea. So- what kind of stuff? What kind of cases?" He scootched closer to the table and leaned forward.
Dib looked up at the ceiling of the restaurant as he tried to remember the pile of papers he had back home. "There's this one I was supposed to look into a couple of weeks ago. A guy thinks his boat is haunted by some sort of five hundred year old fish. Then I have a case of someone saying they picked up a vampire rabbit and they want me to come check it out. I have to get a few more details out of them before anything, though." He looked back at Dwicky and gave a weak smile. "Sorry it's not as exciting as the movies and all those comics made it out to be."
"Your own personal propaganda, I understand. Might as well start small and work up." Dwicky gestured upward. "Paranormal investigator training wheels. It can't all be glamorous." He crossed his arms on the table and rested his chin on them. "A glimmer of truth in any of them? I wouldn't mind hearing some real stories." He rested his cheek on his arms, peering up at Dib attentively.
"Oh, plenty of them have truths." Dib's smile grew a little and he leaned forward as well. "There's one case I work on. Sort of off and on. I guess it's the reason you could say most of my work piles up. It's the biggest truth of all." He shrugged as if he were speaking of something completely normal. "I never have much luck with him. At the last moment he always slips through my fingers." Dib realized he was being completely vague, but in a restaurant full of people that knew him by name it was better that way. "I can show you what I'm talking about if we get a chance to go to my place. I'm sure it'll be something that will interest you."
Dwicky's brows rose with interest. "'Him?'" He made a thoughtful sound. "How long have you been working on this case?"
Dib cringed at that and sat back once more. "Before it was even a case." He pointed at Dwicky. "I was only a couple of years younger than you when I started obsessing over it. Therefore, at the time, I wasn't even famous. So, I was only going about things my own way. Pretty much how you are, I'm sure." He let his hand rest on the table as he went on, keeping his eyes on it instead of Dwicky. "Once I got all of this recognition, I treated the 'case' as top priority. Whatever I didn't feel needed to be done at the time, or just wasn't that important, I chased after what I wanted to instead."
The teen's eyes grew wider around. "Hmmmmm! A life's work. Something that hasn't been recorded, talked about, written about, drawn, filmed or pantomimed. I'm shocked." He grinned wide. "And feel special. Must be something of great importance, especially if you've dedicated over ten years of your life to it." He gave a small guilty chuckle. "... I glanced at a magazine article.. they mentioned your stats." He cleared his throat. "A secret case, wow. Sexy." He added with an eager whisper "Tell me more."
Dib looked back up and couldn't really help grinning. He lifted his hand back up to wag a finger at the teenager across from him as he shook his head. "No, sorry. You're just going to have to wait." He dropped his hand to the table again as he leaned forward enough to whisper near Dwicky. "I've kept it a secret for so long. I'd like to keep it a secret for even longer. Weird get up or not, the minute any sort of information comes spewing from my mouth someone might hear it. I don't want to chance that." He sat back, but stood up with the action. "I'm sure you have some patience."
Dwicky pouted in disappointment. "Sadly." He unfolded his arms to grab at the edge of the table and stretch. With a satisfied noise the teen stood, grabbed his drink and gave his side a good scratch. "You do realize you have to wear that going back in. Otherwise you're going to get pounced on, huggled and glomped again." Dwicky poked what little bit of Dib's middle showed from the bottom of the shirt with a happy little noise.
Dib rolled his eyes as he groaned. "Don't remind me." He pushed Dwicky's hand away and eyed the boy for a second before he went on. "As horrible a disguise as it is, every little bit helps I, guess." He pointed at the other for a second as he went on. "You can handle my coat until I get back to the table. If I carry the thing around or even wear it, then people are going to automatically know it's me." He stepped away from the table, picking up the trash to dump it out as he did. "At least with you lugging it around, wearing it, or whatever, people will just think you're another fanboy."
It didn't take long for a wide, lazy grin to spread across Dwicky's face. "... a very happy fan boy." His expression grew lewder. "... who needs a change of pants." He took a long healthy sip from his drink, and turned to head out the door.
A disturbed look crossed Dib's face at that. "You're gonna need to work on that." With those words, he held the door open before heading out towards his car. The idea of going back to where all of the crazy and scary fans hung out didn't appeal to him, but it was something he had to do. At least with present company it would be more tolerable, and that's all he needed.