A/N: None of these characters belong to me. This story just knida popped into my head. No idea where its going or what's going to happen. Its just a hodgepodge of some characters that I like.

The Librarian of the Unseen University was up very late one night. Or you could say he woke up early one morning, except for the fact he hadn't slept yet. He would've except that the whole section on Gardening suddenly blew off the shelf at once and he spent the next six hours chasing the books down and putting them back in their places.

He was finally done, and now he could get some sleep. He was already dreaming about bananas and chocolate-covered crickets when he saw a commotion down a dark aisle of his library. As usual in this type of situation, he went to investigate (1).

"Oook!" gasped the orangutan as the commotion turned out to be a human. But not just any human...the librarian knew this human all too well. His next "ook!" was one of surprise and not a little disgust.


Susan Sto Helit rolled out of her bed and groaned. She didn't even have to look into the mirror (2) to realize that today was going to be terrible.

Her hair would not be tamed and there were circles under her eyes. She'd been up late the night before grading the first graders' paintings. Despite the complaints from parents and teachers that art was objective, Ms. Sto Helit was inhibiting creativity and - more importantly - how could my son be failing first grade, Susan continued her custom. The kids were starting to wise up. All but three paintings passed her inspection.

Susan slammed the door behind her as she left. It gave her a sense of satisfaction to feel the house shake. Frowning, she took the tram to the school.

Children and teachers alike scattered before her, their faces a mask of terror at the grumpy look on her face. It had taken only one exapmle to teach them that Susan Sto Helit was best avoided when in a bad mood. They still hadn't found Mr. BigX's right foot, but his left shoulder recently turned up in the middle of Klatch.

Susan was grateful for the utter silence that reigned in her classroom for the rest of the day. Her students worked quickly, their heads down, shooting terrified glances at her every now and again.

When the lunch bell rang there was a silent stampede as every child rushed to reach the safety of the lunchroom. Susan leaned back in her chair and sighed. The day wasn't turning out too bad...so far.

Before she could reproach herself for thinking this, there a bump came from the closet in the back of the classroom. She sat straight up. The bumping sound came again. Susan stood cautiously and crept towards the closet. She knew for a fact it contained nothing but glue sticks and scissors (3).

Susan put a cautious hand on the doorknob. The bumping came once again, and Susan threw open the door. The last thing she saw before everything went black was a small black box, about the size of a die that was jumping around like a Klatchian Jumping Beetle.


(1) Its a fact of human (and monkey (not that the librarian is a monkey. Everyone who's anyone knows he's an orangutan)) nature that we apes are naturally attracted to dangerous and deadly situations. It keeps the biped population on the disc in check, naturally.

(2) Some people are clever because their boxes can predict the temperature and weather of the day. Susan's mirror could tell her if the day would turn out "good" or "bad" as ambiguous as those terms were. They were constantly arguing over what qualified a "good" day, and the conflict reached its climax when the mirror (named George) decided to go on strike. It lasted three and a half hours.

(3) Kindergarten scissors, that is. They can't cut wet spaghetti, let alone paper.