A/N: Wow, there's nothing like a lot of reviews to get you moving. This chapter is a load of bullshit but if you want to read it be my guest. Have you guessed who the mystery man in the Library is? There are more clues in this chapter. I really want to know who you think it is so feel free to send me any guesses or leave a review with a guess included along in the hymns of praise that you'll all be singing when you read this glorious piece of crap. Ciao!!
"So that's how I ended up here," finished the young man in the Library of the Unseen University, putting down his bottle of water. The librarian sat across from him, a huge stack of banana peels piled in front of him. It had been a long story and a highly entertaining one but now it was time to get back to business. Once again, darke magyck threatened to destroy the world and this time there was no Rincewind to help it along.
The librarian sat and contemplated the young man sitting before him for a little while. He was tall and handsome with dark hair and green eyes that were now looking down nervously at the table. Quite a different young man than last time the Librarian had met him.
"Ook," he finally said, and the young man looked up at the fat orangutan with hope.
"You really mean that? Oh thank you so much! This will make it so much easier to find those da--nged (1) cubes! We should start right away. I'll get the paper and pencils, you get the sphigomomanometer. I haven't had this much excitement in years!" He bustled off whistling an annoying song at the top of his whistle.
"Okay this isn't what it looks like," said Susan quickly when she finally assesed her situation. She was in a shirveled little body with no magic powers and no respect and she had just berated the Commander of the City Watch, presumably her boss. All she could hope for at this point was that the person who had entered her body was not making as much of a mess of things as she was.
"Oh really?" asked a voice from the doorway. Susan turned and saw a tall, slender woman with wild hair looking at her coolly. "Pray tell us what actually happened then. Because there has to be a good reason that you were yelling at Mister Vimes where the whole Watch could hear you." Susan looked over the woman's shoulder and did indeed see a good number of curious faces staring back at her.
She drew herself up to her full height before she realized that that was approximately 5'11'' and slumped back down. "I don't know who you are, miss," she said in her best teacher voice. Coming from this little man it just sounded sad. "I don't know your name but I'm sure you have an excellent reason for interrupting a private conversation I was having with Commander - er - Vlimes. Now if you'll excuse me."
Susan waved a pudgy hand condenscendingly at the woman, who was standing with a look of utter shock on her features. She quickly recomposed though, and when she spoke it was in a tone of contempt and barely bridled anger.
"I am Sargeant Angua and I suggest that you change your attitude Lance-Constable or someone might feel compelled to teach you a lesson!" She spun on her heel and stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
"Right now messirs, where were we. Ah yes, who am I and what am I doing here?"
Commander Vimes shot an uncertain glance at the other man before speaking. "I think that Captain Carrot is the one who can answer your questions the best. I need to go get some coffee, I'll be right back." He walked quickly out of the room, leaving Susan and Carrot looking at each other, one impatiently the other bemusedly.
"Yes?" asked Susan after almost a minute of silence.
"Hmm? Oh, excuse me. You wanted to know who you were. Well, when I last checked your name was A.E. Pessimal and your rank was Lance-Constable. You work in this building, third door to the right actually. Is there anything else about you that you would like to know?"
Susan stared at him suspiciously for any sign of laughter but either this guy was completely serious or he had a great poker face. She would rather it be the former; Susan hated people who showed signs of a) lack of a sense of humor, b) complete honesty, c) unbelievable naivete, or d) all of the above. This man seemed to be a type D.
"No, I think that if you will just tell me where I can find my house I will leave. They do have sick days in this place, right? Then I'm taking one. Or maybe two or five or thirty. I won't be seeing you around in any case."
"You live at thirty-four Duckfoot Place. First left then straight for two blocks, right for another three and then a left. You can't miss it."
Susan growled inwardly. This stupid asshole wouldn't even react to rudeness. The sooner she got out of here the better!
(1) Some books were very sensitive to swear words. The bronze rule in the library was don't curse; the last guy who did was eaten by a giant book-plant that surged from the darknesse betweene two alleyes and dide swallowe hime whole. Tis the Monkey's truthe, I tell ye.