-1This is a long oneshot, just for the warning. Sequel to "Insignificant" by Night Essence.
Disclaimer: I don't own CSI…sighs…
"No, Greg, you're useless."
"I can't believe you, Greg! Get away!"
"Sanders, you're insignificant."
Insignificant. If words could kill, that would be the one. Insignificant. Useless, meaningless, unimportant, immaterial, irrelevant. It all meant the same, and it all fell on Greg.
It hurt him that nobody, not even Grissom, would trust him to go on a solo case. No matter how hard he tried, nobody appreciated him. It hurt how nobody noticed him when he changed, leaving his crazy lab, rat persona in search of his new, serious CSI one. It hurt how Nick would never love him, or give him a chance.
Greg kept these emotions bottled up at work, putting on a fake smile around everyone. At home he would sob himself to sleep, not knowing how much longer he could keep up his façade. All he wanted was to be accepted.
One day at work he noticed Nick come into the break room looking rather upset. In curiosity, Greg watched him angrily pour coffee and mutter to himself. What caught Greg's eye was the shiny chain around his neck. On it was a silver band, matching the one on his finger. Greg figured he must have broken things off with his lover, Raymond.
Nick turned suddenly and caught Greg staring. "What?" he asked harshly.
"Huh, nothing," Greg lied quickly. He watched Nick fume and storm out of the room. Not sure if it was a good idea, he decided to follow.
"What's wrong?" he blurted out, following Nick into the locker room.
Nick turned on him, nearly knocking him over. "None of your business!" he snapped.
Greg swallowed hard and watched Nick angrily throw things in his locker. He was startled when Warrick came in.
"Hey, Nick man," Warrick said, completely ignoring Greg's presence. "You ok?"
Nick nodded without looking up. "It's…it's just…Ray," He motioned to his ring.
"Oh," Warrick said, sympathetically. "Wanna get some lunch and talk about it?"
Nick nodded slowly and closed his locker. The two men brushed past Greg, almost knocking him over again.
"Watch it, Sanders," Warrick snapped, glaring daggers at Greg.
"Sorry," Greg meekly replied. Why do I even try? He quickly left the locker room, and literally ran into Sara.
"Greg!" she snapped when she dropped the files she was holding. She sighed angrily and bent down to pick up the scattered pictures.
"Sorry, let me help," Greg insisted. He was stopped when a hand pulled him back. He turned to face Catherine.
"I think you've caused enough damage," she said, coldly. She bent down to help Sara pick up the papers.
Apparently Grissom had noticed the accident, and approached Greg. "Greg, my office please." The two men walked into Grissom's office and seated themselves. "Greg, are you ok? You've been really…down, lately."
"Yeah, I'm fine," Greg lied. There was no way he was going to tell his boss how broken he felt inside.
"I want you to take a few days off," Grissom said.
"Griss, really, I'm f…"
"Greg, you need it," Grissom said. He watched Greg impatiently until the young man finally got up and left.
Greg stopped for some things from his locker when Hodges entered. He watched Greg for a moment with a wicked grin before speaking. "Taking time off, I see. What, too afraid to face everyone?"
Greg swallowed hard and tried to ignore him. It only fueled the fire.
"No comment, huh? Fine, loser." With that, he left sniggering.
Greg sighed and slid down his locker, forcing back tears. He sat in though for a moment. He though about how tired and alone he was. Finally rising, he snatched a piece of paper and pen from his locker and scribbled a quick note. Before he left, he stopped in Grissom's now empty office and left the note on his desk.
About an hour later, Grissom wandered into his office and found the note on his desk. Curious, he picked it up and read it.
You probably think this is pointless and won't care anyway, so I'll make it fast. I'm tired of being the insignificant one, the one everybody hates. I'm deciding to end it now by ending my life. I never liked suicide, but it's my only way out.
Grissom, you've always been a great boss and a father figure to me. I appreciate all you have given me the opportunity to do.
Catherine, you're like a mother to me, no matter how much you dislike me. I hope many others feel this way about you.
Warrick, I know you hate me, but please honor my last request. Keep an eye on Nick, and don't ever let him go.
Sara, you're beautiful inside and out, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I would not be the CSI I am today if it was not for you.
Nick, I never told you because I knew you would never accept me, but I always loved you. No matter how bad you treated me, I never gave up on you. I will never forget you.
I must go now, the sooner it's done the better. I was only insignificant.
Grissom froze at the words on the page. He rushed out of his office and ran to the break room. Finding his team already there, he bounded through the door. "Guys!"
Nick looked up, concerned. "What's up, Griss?"
Grissom caught his breath and waved the paper around. "Greg."
Sara scoffed. "What about him?"
Grissom got serious. "He's gonna kill himself." He looked around as an eerie silence stole over the room. "I'll read it," he said.
The expressions of the team changed drastically as the letter was read. "Greg…said that?" Catherine asked, tears in her eyes. "Nobody…ever told me that before."
"Greg is the only person who would openly admit that to me," Sara said. She bowed her head and stared in anger at her hands. "Why did I treat him like that?!"
Warrick couldn't say anything. He beat his fist on the table, then hunched over and closed his eyes.
Nick could only stare. Greg loved him, he actually loved him. Nick never told anyone, but he secretly loved Greg too. He was afraid to tell because he knew it wouldn't be accepted. So he went along with the rest of them, putting Greg down. Now he was going to lose him forever.
"What do we do?" Warrick finally asked. Before anyone could reply, Nick was on his feet at the door.
"We gotta stop him!" Nick exclaimed, terror and sadness in his voice. C'mon, Greggo, you can't die. I need you, I'll never hurt you again. He rushed out to the Denali, quickly followed by the rest of the team.
Greg stood in his bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. He hated the tears running down his face, he hated himself. He wondered what he ever did wrong to be the outcast he was.
With another sigh of sadness, he decided it was time. He slowly picked up the kitchen knife he had on the sink board and stared at it. He quickly put it to his wrist and cut himself, yelping a little at the pain. He looked down and was pleased to see the blood flowing frown the cut, staining his pale skin. He brought the knife to other wrist and cut that one too.
After several more cuts, Greg dropped the knife and trembled. He watched the blood run in torrents down his arms and drip onto the carpet. He felt dizzy and leaned against the door. That's when he thought he heard the voices.
"Greg? Greg!" Nick yelled, pounding on the door. He finally lost all patience and broke through it, storming into Greg's apartment. "Greg! Oh god, where are you?!"
Greg looked up and smiled weakly. Nick had finally come, but it was too late. "Nick," Greg replied weakly.
Somehow Nick head him and rushed to his bedroom. "Greg!" Nick froze at the sight of Greg standing there with blood running down his arms and staining the carpet.
"Nick," Greg said. He stumbled forward and fell. Nick raced over just in time to catch him in his arms.
"Greg," Nick choked out, slowly lowering Greg to the ground. He forced back tears and clung to Greg tightly. "Greg…why?"
Greg looked at him through half closed eyes. "I…can't do it…anymore. Too much…hate…rejection…I'm tired of it."
Nick let the tears fall. He peered up as the rest of the team flooded into the bedroom. "Griss, call 911, Sara, get some towels." He turned his attention back to Greg as the two carried out their orders. Warrick and Catherine simply stood and stared in shock.
"They're on their way," Grissom said, coming back into the room and joining Catherine and Warrick.
"Here," Sara said joining Nick. She helped him tightly wrap Greg's arms in the towels. Greg looked up and smiled at her weakly. She gently ran her hand through his hair as her eyes brimmed with tears. She finally got up and joined the others.
Greg began to tremble again. He pushed himself closer to Nick. "Nick?" he asked quietly.
Nick forced back tears and cradled Greg closer to him. "It's ok, buddy."
Greg swallowed hard and looked Nick in the eyes. "I'm sorry…I have…to go now."
Nick panicked. "Greg…no, you can't! I need you here. Don't go, help is coming." Nick heard the sirens of the approaching ambulance.
Greg shook his head. "I can't…hold on any longer." He coughed and Nick held him closer. "I'm sorry…I love you…good-bye."
"Love you too," Nick whispered as Greg closed his eyes. Once Greg went limp in his arms, Nick buried his head in his shoulder and sobbed.
"Oh, Nick, I'm so sorry," Catherine said, patting Nick's shoulder. "He's…in a better place now." Her voice cracked as tears came into her eyes. Grissom held Sara close as she sobbed on his shoulder. Warrick looked at Greg, failing to keep in his guilty tears.
Everybody stayed until the ambulance came. They loaded Greg onto a stretcher. "We're going to take him to the morgue," the medic said. "I'm sorry for your loss."
Nick watched them wheel Greg to the ambulance. "I wanna go with him," he said.
Sara looked at him sadly. "But, Nick, he's…"
"Please," Nick pleaded. "I need more time." He climbed into the ambulance when the medic nodded. All he could do was sit and stare at Greg's face.
Grissom dialed the coroner's number. "Doc? Is Nick still down there?"
"He won't leave, been down here for a good two hours now. I don't think he can let go, Griss. It really hit him."
"Yeah…ok. Send him up whenever he's ready." Grissom hung up and sighed. He looked up when Hodges entered with a evidence box.
"Greg's clothes and the bloody knife he used to…kill himself with are all packed up," David said, apparent sadness in his voice. He put the box on Grissom's desk. "Grissom…I didn't think he would do it. I never meant to be so nasty to him." He put his head down as tears came to his eyes. "I wish I could take it all back."
"We all do," Grissom replied. "It's all of our faults." He watched as David left. Sitting down, he turned on the small radio, shutting it off quickly when he recognized a song Greg always used to blast in the lab. He put his head in his hands and sighed. Things just were not going to be the same anymore, especially Nick.
Nick stood at the table where Greg lay covered by a blanket. He stared sadly at Greg's pale face. He noticed Robbins had removed the towels from his arms. He swallowed back tears as he stared at the dozens of cuts on Greg's arms. He broke his gaze when Robbins approached.
"I'm very sorry, Nick, he didn't deserve this," Robbins said, also looking at Greg. "He was too young."
"I know," Nick said. "I…I just wish I told him about my feelings for him earlier. He might still be alive." He let a tear fall down his cheek.
Robbins looked at Nick for a moment before turning back to Greg. He examined the multiple cuts on his arms. "Nick…did you know what Greg has been doing?"
Nick looked at him confused. "What do you mean?"
Robbins sighed and turned to Nick. "Nick, look at these cuts on Greg's arms." He pointed to several lighter looking cuts. "These are old, Nick."
Nick swallowed hard. "W-What are you saying?"
Robbins frowned. "Nick…Greg has been cutting himself for at least three months now."
Nick froze as Robbins spoke. Closing his eyes, he put his hands to his face and cried. He slid down the wall into a sitting position and sobbed.
Robbins bent down and squeezed his shoulder. "I'm sorry. Nick"
Nick eventually stood and went to Greg again. After staring for a few moments, he removed the other silver band from his necklace and placed it on Greg's ring finger. Bending down, he lightly kissed Greg's forehead. "Good-bye, love," he whispered. He turned to go, leaving his last chance at happiness on the could autopsy table.
Well, what did you think? Like it, hate it? Kudos to Night Essence for letting me write this sequel. R and R please! G