Wal-Mart Employee

We take a look at a 17-year-old House … as a Wal-Mart employee.

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine sigh

A.N. Yeah, I know. Wal-Mart wasn't around when House was 17, but just go with it. Alot of the things I mention probably weren't around when he was 17.


Greg House woke up to the ringing of his alarm clock "Crap…" he muttered to himself. It was 9:10, he was supposed to be at work ten minutes ago. He quickly got out of bed, and went down stairs.

"Greg!" his mother yelled


"What do you want for breakfast" Greg was shocked by this. His mother hadn't offered him breakfast since he was 7.

"Uh, I'm fine"

"Nonsense! A boy like you needs to eat, now what do you want?"

"Really mom, I'm fine" Greg said, trying to get out the door.

"Pancakes it is!" his mother said. "Now, you just sit your little but down while I make you breakfast"

"Fine, but it has to be quick, I have work" Greg said, while sitting down at the table


1 hour and 23 minutes later

"You're late" Will (the boss) said, nodding his head disapprovingly.

"Sorry, Grandma died" Greg said putting his bag down.



"uh huh" Will said. "Well, I hope you know what you being late means"

"What? A spanking? You know my bottom just can't take anymore"

Will ignored his comment "No, you get a demerit"

"Oh no! Not a demerit! ANYTHING but a demerit" Greg said mockingly.

"Yes, 10 more of these and you are fired" Will said sternly, while writing something on a piece of paper.

"Yeah, yeah…" Greg said.

"Now, go out and work!"

"Whatever you say" he said, about to leave the employee's lounge.

"Wait!" Will said

"What?" Greg said annoyed.

"You forgot to put on your vest"

"Yeah, I know"

"People won't know you work here if you don't wear a vest!"

"That's the point" Greg said, while exiting the lounge

"Damn him" Will muttered.


Greg was in his favorite place in the store. Electronics. He was playing Asteroids, trying to beat his personal high score when an elderly lady came up to him

"Exuse me young man, do you work here?"

'Damn' Greg thought to himself, he really shouldn't have out on his vest "Unfortunetly" he replied.

"What was that?" the old lady said, holding her hand to her ear "I can't hear as good as I used to"

"Yes, I work here" he said. "Says so on my badge"

"Oh, well I was wondering where is the toothpaste"

"Um, near the toothbrushes?" Greg said, wishing this lady would go away.

"And where might the toothbrushes be?" she asked.

'Hmmm...' Greg thought. 'Which isle should I send her to?' "Oh, the toothbrushes are on isle 12"

"Okay. Thank you very much" In truth, the tootbrushes were on isle 2. But it was funnner sending them to the wrong isle.


Greg had got sent to the clothing section, for "inproper behavior" as Will called it. 'Whatever' he thought. This would exclude him from people, I mean how stupid could people be with clothing? You couldn't ask where it was, on account of it was all in one big section. In mid though, a middle aged man came up to him.

'Exuse me" he said.

'What could he possibly want?' Greg thought. "Yes?" he said, looking up.

"Yes, I was wondering if you have this shirt in a bigger size" He held up a a pink sequined shirt. It was clearly a women's shirt.

"For your wife?" Greg asked.

"No, for me" the man said.

"Oh" Greg said 'A gay man. Just what I need' he thought.

"So, do you have one?" He asked again.


"Are you sure?"


"But how do you know, you didn't even check"

"I know know things" Greg said annoyed.

'Well, do you know where I can get one in a bigger size?" the man asked

"Uh, the Gay Parade?" he said.

'Exuse me?"

"Oh, nothing" Greg replied.

"Okay. Now since I can't get clothing, where is the makeup section?" Greg smiled. "Isle 5"

"Thank you" the man said. In truth, isle 5 was lady supply isle. But, whatever.


Greg went into the Employee's Lounge to eat his lunch. Will came up to him. He looked at his clip board and began to talk "You told a customer to go to the Gay Parade?"



"because he was gay. Jeez Will, get with it" Greg said, taking a bite out of his sandwhich.

"That was bad, you know what that means"

"No drugs for a week?" Greg said

"Ha" Will said while walking away.


It was the end of the day and Greg was getting ready to leave when...

"Exuse me, mister" a young girl tugged on Greg's jeans.

'What?" he said, looking at the girl. She was no older then 4. And was wearing a pink dress, with pink knee highs.

"I'm lost" she said.

"Great, now get un-lost" My shift ended 5 minutes ago"

"I can't find my mommy"

Greg sighed. He wasn't getting out of this. "What's your name, kid?"

"Allison Cameron" she said.

"Great" Greg said.

"What's your name?" Allison asked.

"Bob" Greg said.



"Oh, well what's your name?"




"Why did you lie the first time?" she asked.

"The voice in my head told me to"

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing" Greg said.

"I'm bored" Allison said.

"Join the club" he said, oppening the door to the Employee Lounge.

"I like clubs, infact..." Allison was cut off by Will.

"Greg, why did you bring a kid in here?"

"She's lost"


"And my shift is over"


"Well, I'm going to leave Allison, Will will find your parents"

"Okay, it was nice meeting you Greg"

"Yep" he said. He left the Employee's Lounge. He checked his watch. His shift ended over half hour ago. He really did hate work.


A.N. So, that was it. Not as good as I wanted, but whatever. Review please!!!