His words

The words circled my head. Over and over I heard his voice repeating those words, over and over.

"The only one you can trust is yourself."

The words spoke to me. I understand now, that he was just trying to protect me from what I feel now. The betrayal, the hurt. He wanted to stop me from ever having to feel such pain.

But I didn't listen to him. I trusted, and I got hurt. But it was not like it was his fault. He couldn't help it.

"The only one you can trust is yourself."

But Sanzo was different. I let him in. I trusted him. I went against the advice he gave me. He told me not to trust anyone but myself, and yet, I trusted him.

It wasn't really his fault that he betrayed me. He couldn't help it. Really, he was still trying to protect me, but it still hurt. He died to save me. I trusted him, with my life.

I suppose then, it wasn't that much of a betrayal, if he betrayed me by saving me. I guess that's why it hurts so much. He pulled through for me. I trusted him, and he didn't let me down, until the end.

Even at the end, he still wanted to protect me. "Goku, don't be hurt. If you hurt because of this, then it would all be for nothing." He said, as he lay dieing in my arms. His life was about to end, and he was using his last breaths to comfort me.

I guess that wasn't the worst part, no, the part that hurt me the most was what he said next. "I never - I never told you how much I-" And then he died. He never got to complete his sentence. Maybe that is the ultimate betrayal.