One Fell Out by SqueeG-1

Disclaimer: We all know that I don't own them.

Spoilers: Teeny, tiny. Almost misable. Although Jack would probably take objection to this description. ;-)

Season: Season 7

Author's Notes: Some Sam/Jack UST. Feedback always welcome. Many thanks to my beta reader CeeKay Sheppard.

Sam winced as she woke. "Just how many beers did I have last night?" she thought. The throbbing in her head counted off: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6… mocking her.

"Headache, Carter?"

Her eyes flew open and looked straight into the eyes of her CO. He was grinning at the shocked look on her face.

"Sir?" Sam gulped, "Wha - what are you doing here?"

"Your furnace is broken."

Sam's brow furrowed as she puzzled over the non sequitur. As she tried to shift to sit up, Sam's expression turned to panic.

"Carter, what's wrong?" O'Neill asked in alarm.

"Sir, I, I can't move my feet! They're pinned!"

O'Neill relaxed. "Oh. Well, Daniel's on them. You know what dead weight he is when he's asleep. Well, passed out really."

Sam managed to raise her head slightly (which certainly didn't help with the throbbing) and looked towards her feet. Daniel was stretched straight across the bottom of her bed.

"Why is Daniel…?" she trailed off.

"Told ya. Furnace."

Sam was starting to get annoyed. Her head hurt. She had awoken in a slightly compromising position with her CO. She had an archaeologist cutting off the feeling in her legs. And a straight answer did not seem forthcoming.

A sudden movement from behind her startled her and she instinctively jerked away from the unseen. Given the current circumstances, she didn't get very far.

Teal'C's low voice came from over her shoulder.

"Are you feeling unwell, Major Carter?"

"Headache. Teal'C, can you tell me what the h-e-double-hockey-sticks is going on?"

"Your furnace is not functional, Major Carter."

She shot a look that could have frozen water at the snickering Colonel O'Neill. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath she replied using very… small… words.

"So I've been told. Teal'C, why are you all here? In my bed?"

"Major Carter, do you not recall stating that we were all welcome to stay here after the evening's festivities, so that I would not have to drive each of you home?"

"Yes, I remember that." When Teal'C did not immediately continue, she prompted, "And…?"

"On arrival, I moved you and Daniel Jackson – with the assistance of O'Neill – into the house. It was at this time that we discovered…"

"That the furnace was broken?" Sam interjected quickly. She thanked her lucky stars that her legs were pinned at the moment because otherwise she would have kicked her CO, who was now chuckling.


"Teal'C, that still doesn't explain… this!" She gestured towards the current sleeping arrangements.

"O'Neill and I decided that the best thing to do would be to put everyone into one bed, allowing us to take advantage of the body heat generated."

"Oh he did, did he?" Sam muttered quietly to herself, still glaring at her CO. O'Neill was trying, and failing, to keep the grin off his face.

"It makes sense Carter, if you think about it. You know how much you love to do that," O'Neill said.

Sam drew in a breath to retort, and then let it out, knowing there was no point in pressing the matter further.

She closed her eyes and relaxed back into the pillows. After a couple minutes she re-opened her eyes and asked, "Who decided Daniel had to sleep across the bottom?" She was pretty sure she knew the answer.

"O'Neill suggested the current arrangements,", replied Teal'C.

"Of course he did."

"Hey! It was the only logical arrangement," retorted O'Neill. "The bed is yours – so it was only fair YOU have a pillow. T was the one doing the lifting – so he should have a pillow. And as they say 'You snooze, you lose,' and that meant Daniel got the bottom."

"Sir, that is the most – !" Sam started, only to be interrupted.

"If you would not mind, Major Carter, it is still quite early. I wish to obtain several more hours of sleep."

Sam smiled, thinking about how Teal'C had initially been unwilling to sleep instead of performing Kel-no-reem. He had since taken to the change like a duck to water.

"Sorry, Teal'C."

Sam closed her eyes and decided she would try to get some more sleep as well. With any luck, the next time she woke up the throbbing in her head would be gone. Unfortunately, there was something stopping her from falling back asleep. She lay there quietly, trying to figure out what it was. Sam realized there was air moving gently across her cheek. It was as if someone was breathing on her. Her eyes flew open and Sam was once again looking in to the eyes of her CO. Her instinctive flinch earlier when Teal'C had moved, had brought her even closer to the Colonel.

"Something wrong, Carter?"

"No Sir, it's just … you're breathing on me, Sir."

"And that's a problem, why?"

After a pause Sam replied, "I'm, uh – I'm just not used to … oh, forget it!" Sam was blushing and O'Neill was starting to smile. Again. Then Sam felt something, stirring. Now, the Colonel was starting to look a little flustered.

"Uh –"

"Carter, if you make one 'sidearm' reference, or giggle, things are not going to go well – understand?" O'Neill cut in quickly.

Sam was saved from having to respond because at that moment Daniel grunted, rolled over, and crashed to the floor.

"Oh my God, Daniel, are you okay?" Sam asked with worry in her voice, ignoring the pins and needles in her legs as the blood rushed back into the now Daniel-free extremities.

Daniel sat up, peered blearily at the other three people in the bed and asked, "Why are we all in Sam's bed?"

O'Neill responded with, "Furnace is broken," as Sam groaned and covered her face with her hands. Not again!