Bittersweet Symphony

Disclaimer: I am not sure why we even bother but I don't own Dark Angel, and I don't own the song.

A/N: This is my attempt at retrieving my muse. I lost it somewhere. If you see it direct it my way please!

Bittersweet Symphony

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Try to make ends meet
You're a slave to money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the veins meet yeah,

I was thinking about it all. The world, Seattle, Manticore, and Max. It always led to Max, why? I really don't know. I have always had feelings toward her, but it always came out jumbled. Even so I like to keep them buried. Telling her would be too hard. Sides' if she felt at all the same way she would just yell, or run. It's a thing I suppose. Us transgenics, we don't like to feel it let alone express it. She makes me work, she makes me live for her. But it is worth it, even if I could be off in Vegas meeting my need to all ends. I couldn't leave though. What if she needed me while I was gone? I couldn't do that to her. Even now I can't be with her. Why she keeps me around I don't know. I am the thorn of her every rose. I make her life have prickles... no thats not right. But I do screw things up for her.

No change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
But I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no


Ever since Rachel things have been even more confusing. I sometimes wish I never remembered, that it would be better that way. Forgetting is always easy, Manticore was easy, not to say I don't like being free. Before I knew what I now know, that the world is great. If Max hadn't let us out I wouldn't have experienced it. So in a way, I wouldn't know any different. Here I go again, Max what'd I say? I want to be there for her, I have been thinking about it for a while. I want to be there for her, I want to love her like I have never loved anyone, I know I could.


Well I never pray
But tonight I'm on my knees yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now

I still don't think we would ever have anything anyways. Max and I, we are like day and night. Sometimes it gets me to thinking that maybe just maybe we could be great, we could be whole. But that is just me thinking, maybe Max is right, maybe I shouldn't think. I have thought about this every day since I met that girl. It makes me want to tell her, but I know I shouldn't. I'm sure it would just mess things up even more. What we have is good. Enough? I wouldn't know, but it is good. She loves Logan anyways. I couldn't substitute for that geeky, grimy, old guy. Don't get me wrong he is an alright guy, he makes her lighten up. Still, I can do that, and I don't make her feel like the world is coming to an end with every situation that pops up. I don't send her into the line of fire, I can protect her if she needs me. I can love her like nobody else.


No change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no
I can't change
I can't change

Alright now I know I am going crazy, love? Have I picked up on Ben's psychotic trend? I don't even know if that is what we have. I mean I loved Rachel, it was sweet, and tender leading to the big bittersweet ending. Funny that I don't feel that about Max. With Max it's the fire, I can rile her up, pull the emotions out of her. She hates when I do that. I say something just to get her attention and see her expression. She tries to hide it, but there is that one glimpse of a moment I get, the one that pleads to make her pain go away. The one that shows me everything I want, and that makes me feel more empathetic than I have ever felt. I know I could be the one for her, she would just have to give me that chance. I would do anything for that woman. I act the way I do because she isn't mine. I want her to love me. I know it's selfish but can you blame me?

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Try to make ends meet
Try to find some money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the things meet yeah

Max is good, better than any other transgenic I have ever met. She can act like nobody else. Still though I take one look and understand her like no one ever has. Her fascade is useless against me and she knows it. She knows that I know it. I am sure this is why she hides behind the tough chick, 'kick your ass' Max. The worst thing about it all is that I am sure I am the same way.

You know I can change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no

I can't change my mold
no, no, no, no, no,
I can't change
Can't change my body,
no, no, no

I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
Been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Have you ever been down?
Have you've ever been down?

A/N: Alright I know that this may not be that interesting yet but I decided to break through my writer's block so bear with me. I am trying to get back on track so I don't leave you all hanging. I hate when authors's do that and I really don't want to. I have started another chapter on Forget-Me-Not and I have made it halfway through. It should be up soon!

A/N: The song is by the Verve by the way.