OH MY GAWD. I am SO sorry that it took so long for me to get this written and posted.
It was almost done and then my computer just went psycho and deleted my hard drive. Including the Word document containing this magical chapter. Uuurgh.
ALSO. At this point I'm currently trying to find (maybe write) a not shitty story about... oh, never mind, it's irrelevant.
To reply to the anonymous reviewer 'Fan': I know I to convey my ideas better. I'm depressingly bad at that. I speak, write, and think in a very dismembered fashion and it tends to confuse people. But remember, I've written MUCH worse! I wrote 'A Happy Day in Konoha' or whatever I titled that abomination. I think I put that under my old editors name it was so bad... Anyway. Thanks for the review!8D
It was starting to bother the man.
Wherever he was, and of that he had no idea, the sky dropped rain constantly.
He pulled his coat around himself on impulse, but instantly dropped his hands to his side.
NO. I wont give in to something as simple as rain! he told himself while trying to remain calm.
A wind picked up and threatened to blow the thin man over.
He held steady however, and glared into the wind.
Hit with the fact that anger was an emotion, he automatically attempted to clear his thoughts.
But it was so cold...
"Why not me?!" he hissed at himself.
His urge to return to what was once his home took over the man's brain once again.
The image of a thin woman imprinted itself in his mind.
He wanted to go back.
No I don't.
Yes you do.
"NO I DON'T."
The random guy walking by him stared for a moment before continuing on his dreary way.
He sighed bitterly and turned around.
The road behind him didn't seem to have a beginning.
The road ahead of him didn't seem to have an end.
What am I doing?
Johnny held back a pathetic sob at the sight of the metal tips of his boots.
While on his way to the kitchen in search a spatula that was to be used for unspeakable things, he tripped and scuffed the metal in the most hideous and agonizing fashion.
His day had been ok; evil head voices turned human escaped, he was terribly injured, he got a popsicle, and then tortured a few people before milling around the house until now. But this? This was just AWFUL.
(A/N: Damn, I've used up half of my negative adjectives already!)
A solitary tear escaped from his eye before rage took over.
"FUCK YOU FLOORBOARDS! FUCK YOU!"
He attacked the floor with a conveniently located bloody sledgehammer into the slighty raised piece of wood that had caused him to trip, leaving a splintery hole in the entrance to his kitchen.
"Dammit. DAMN FLOOR. I hate you! You DARE to get in my way and hurt my INNOCENT shoes!"
Johnny hit the floor a few more times before throwing the sledgehammer through the hole into his basement.
It landed on the leg of some poor soul. "OW! What the hell are you doing up there?!"
"SHUT UP THE FUCK UP! INSENSITIVE BASTARD!"
He sat down on a moldy counter and stared back down at his boots.
"What was I doing again? ... um... oh right. Warn Devi and stop the horrible evil coming to destroy her."
He muttered to himself, reaching into his pockets to see if he had any money.
Finding only a handful of change, he snatched out a few kitchen drawers and, dumping their contents on the floor, found a couple $20 bills mixed in with some potentially deleterious solvents and items.
One such item being the spatula he had originally came for.
He stuck the spatula and a couple of knives that were lying around in his backpack and started out the door to Devi's house.
A frown placed itself on Devi's face when she finally noticed that she didn't really care where Ivan was.
She was determined to worry about her brother, but every time something caught her attention all thoughts of him fizzled out.
Having gotten home recently, it had came to her mind that she needed to get her brain out of this ridiculous rut.
In the end she decided that making some dinner would be the solution.
A quick look over of her cabinets showed that she needed to go shopping because all she found was a box of Easy Mac.
The cardboard container was set deep in the cobweb encrusted corner of one of her darker cabinets.
As she picked it up, a rat scurried out from behind it and into the oblivion of a small hole it had chewed in her wall.
It read in cheerful lettering, Easy Mac. Still with no real cheese!
Staring down at the package, she noted the suspicious orange and green stains littering the box as well.
Devi decided to go out for dinner.
Ivan turned over in the uncomfortable darkness.
He was barely able to move and was fairly certain that whatever was on the floor poking him wasn't something he wanted to see.
A rather forlorn sigh escaped him as he prodded his numb leg.
He really couldn't have walked up the stairs even if he managed to get himself standing at this point.
There was nothing to do but sit there and hope someone came downstairs that DIDN'T want to kill him.
The odds of that were very low.
I'm going to die in a basement right next to the stairs out?! That is so fucking lame...
It really is. Just goes to show what a disappointment I am.
He probably the most hated character in the fic and he bleeds to death (or dies of dehydration...) in a basement next to the stairs?
The authoress fails at life.
Gaz, Todd, Sam, and Pepito all skipped joyfully to the mall.
If 'skipped joyfully' means 'walked'.
The trip was pretty boring.
It's not like they fought off the badger overlords or something.
They were actually KITTEN overlords. Who liked singing Fatboy Slim's Rockafeller Skank.
After defeating such horrid, freezer dwelling creatures such as those, they made it to the M A L L.
That says 'mall' if you didn't know.
"I don't think that's gonna fit me, G-gaz..." Todd squeaked out upon seeing the little number she had picked out for the seven year old.
No girl is dumb enough to let a bunch of boys pick their own clothes. Not even Gaz.
"Yes it will." she growled, moving her weight off of the recently kitten-bloodstained bat she was using in the manner of a cane to hold out the outfit.
To be Franklin, the outfit was designed for small Gazzy teenagers, not little Squees.
"Do I have to wear the h-hat?"
It was black and said HATE across the front in white letters.
"I don't know... It's not very Toddlike." Pepito pointed out.
"Pff. I'm not letting YOU dress him."
"Maybe if you get that smiley face pin?"
She looked Todd up and down then stuck a ridiculously large smiley face pin to Todd's new hat.
Sam was given an outfit extremely similar to that of Waldo from Where's Waldo.
Look that up if you haven't seen it.
"Why do I look like a character from a popular series of look and find books?" he asked.
"CARMEN SAN DIEGO." Gaz spat back.
"Uh... wait, wasn't she... never mind. Okay."
Two hours later Gaz had Sam a whole wardrobe and many things she bought on a whim for Todd, herself, or Pepito.
How was this possible? She has a rich dad.
Devi opened the door to her apartment only to be met with the wide eyes of no other than Johnny C.
He wasn't entirely focused and seemed to be in a hurry. "Mm. Hey. Look, uh, you know those evil little bastards-"
"Johnny, what're you doing here?" deadpanned Devi.
"Well..." he looked at the floor like a scolded child, "I'm just warning you of your imminent destruction. That is, if you want to be warned. Death tends to be better when you don't expect it, it seems. Faster. Less regret that way, too, cuz you don't really have the chance. Of course-"
"Yeah. The voices."
"... Nny, I'm not sure what you're talking about."
"ARGH!" Johnny glared at the sky for a moment before looking back to her, "Ok, let's put this simply... you're in trouble. I am warning you about it. Get the picture?"
"Uh. Yeah, I guess. How about you just come to dinner with me and explain there?"
He fidgeted. "I could, but I kinda need to prevent your death. Creepy, right?"
"Come on. There's no way you aren't hungry."
Nny stared at his boots. "Uh. Well, ok. I wont eat much though..."
"That's fine. Come on."
They walked down the rather barren street before they finally arrived at a tiny burger joint called Crap Burger.
The owner of the shop, Roderick Crap, had created the establishment long before he could speak english, but was too lazy to change the name by the time he realized the problems.
Devi and Nny agreed that regardless of the restaurant's name, the burgers were pretty good. Even if Johnny really DIDN'T eat that much.
"So, what's this business about me being screwed over by hallucinations?" Devi asked, popping a french fry in her mouth.
Johnny's eyes became large and disconcerting.
"The bunny says they're gonna try and kill you and Squeegee."
"WHY would they want to do that?"
"For one thing it would bother me a lot and possibly drive me to suicide because I would have nothing left to live for except the deaths of others and soda."
"Aaw. That's so sweet!"
He managed to ignore her girlish glee and kept talking. "They're also completely stupid."
"But aren't they offshoots of YOUR mind?" I am aware that Devi doesn't know this. Shh.
"... they developed their own personalities, ok?"
"Oh." Devi put a small frown on her face as she pondered this.
"So how're we gonna stop them, Nny?"
"We could always just hunt them down and kill them and finish up this whole thing within the next chapter."
Squee curled into his blanket in an obsessive fashion, his tiny hands clutching Shmee.
Outside his window came a sound.
A tiny scratching noise, barely audible.
But he heard it. He knew it was there.
"What do you think it is Shmee?..."
The noise got louder.
Whatever it was had to be stumbling around something awful to make such a racket.
Suddenly Todd's window exploded into shards of glass as a tiny form fell through it.
He buried himself deeper in his blankets.
He could hear it, scraping it's feet across the floor as it drew nearer.
"'scuse me, could you help me?"
Todd lowered his blanket a bit to get a better look at what had come into his new room.
A little girl?
No. If she was she was badly disfigured.
She was much smaller than a regular girl but her legs seemed longer than normal.
He couldn't get a good look at her in the dark, but he was fairly certain she was scary...
Squee let forth his trademark sound as he scooched back on his bed so to avoid the girl.
"Shmee, there's a creepy tiny girl in my room! Try and be quiet, if we're lucky she'll think we're already dead and only kill us a little bit!"
"Uhm. Please help?"
Todd's eyes widened.
She had stepped even closer, and now the light from the hallway shined on her.
It wasn't a little girl. It was terrifying.
Sure, she SORT OF looked like a little girl, but more like a toy.
Rather than legs, scythe-like appendages shot out from her lower body.
There was a hole in the middle of her dress through which a circular scar could be seen.
Most disconcerting, though, was her eyes.
She had none. There were gaping holes surrounded in dried blood.
The room suddenly seemed colder.
"... I'm Todd."
"Oh. Right. Hello there. I'm Sickness. Do you think you could help me?"
"I dunno. How do you see without your eyes?" He looked away nervously.
"Probably because I'm a sick delusion. Who's that?" she pointed at Shmee.
(A/N: There was originally something about abortions here.)
"That's Shmee. He's my friend." Todd got an itty bitty smile as he said this.
A sinister look took over her face. "Really now? Can I be his friend too?"
"He says that you're evil. Sorry. He says that sort of thing a lot. And that I should be scared."
"Scared? Of what?"
Todd's eyes widened as he glanced nervously out his window. "Everything."
Dammit, I'm running out of ideas and I still have like 700 words to go...
A strange little boy walked down the street, chewing his bubbly gum.
Suddenly a pair of freakish chef children jumped out in front of him.
"I'm gonna kill you, mmkay?" said one of them.
"Mmkay." said Gum Boy.
The murderous chef child dumped Mountain Dew all over Gum Boy.
Gum Boy, having a severe caffeine contact allergy, fell to the ground.
He writhed madly on the concrete while trying to get the greenish liquid off of himself.
"OH GOD, NOOO!" he screeched as his eyes were reduced to liquid.
Soon his flesh started to turn into a runny paste as his cells were invaded with the carbonated energy imbued in Mountain Dew drink beverages.
The chef children giggled as he screamed in his final throes of death.
Yay for his death.
(A/N: Okay, I'ma just cut this slightly short, I can't put anything else in this chapter. )
AND THE TROGDOR COMES IN THE NIGHT!
Turned out better then I expected it to. Dollars for the deprived fools who've read enough of my stuff to understand the kitten reference.
As far as Sam's outfit... that's basically how I originally imagined him. Tall and noodley like Waldo.
... if you know of any decent het SP fics with Kenny heavily involved please tell me. I've only been able to find two and they didn't have lemons... MY GOD I LOVE KENNY. ,.dies.,