No Matter What

AN: My new attempt of an awesome story. Kidding. I hope you guys like it, I try to have as few spelling mistakes as I can, but please, bare with me if I have them. Review, make my day shiny and let me know if you have something in mind that I could work on. :D Okay, so to the story

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine


Chapter one

Dean sighed. He watched Sam sleeping next to him on the passenger side seat. He looked peaceful, for now at least. But Dean was still alert. He knew that any second Sam could jerk up and start yelling in fear, pain, sadness... That's how it had been for the last too weeks.

Dean didn't remember the last time Sam had laughed. Hell, he didn't even remember the last time Sam had smiled. But it had been before these nightmares had started. Every time Dean asked Sam what they were about, he just shrugged and made some lame excuse to change the subject.

Dean could have just let it go and let Sam handle it on his own. Yeah, he could have. But then he had noticed Sam was loosing weight along with his appetite. And that's when he knew that He had to do something and fast. If only Sam would talk to him...

A soft moan escaped from Sam's lips. Dean put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. Sam groaned but didn't wake up. His head dropped onto his shoulder and he continued to sleep peacefully. Dean took his hand away from his shoulder rubbed his face. He was tired himself and was trying to find a motel but right now they were kinda in the middle of nowhere. Just when Dean wondered could he put the music on without waking Sam up, Sam started to shivering as if he was cold. He moaned again and started to mumble something that Dean couldn't hear.

"Here we go again..." Dean thought as he pulled the car over. He killed the engine and turned his attention fully on his little brother. "Sam, wake up", he said gently, not getting the response that he wanted. Sam just turned his head murmuring 'no... no...' over and over again.

"Sammy. Come on now, wake up. It's just a dream. Wake up for me, will ya?" He patted Sam's leg and that's when shot up, his eyes wide with fear.

"DEAN!!" he yelled, clearly not knowing where he was and who he was with. The seatbelt stopped his from hitting his head on the wind shield and suddenly he felt arms taking a firm hold of his shoulders.

"Hey, hey... calm down, Sammy. I'm right here. Everything's okay, you're fine. It was just a dream", Dean said soothingly. Sam's breathing began to even and his eyes didn't look so afraid anymore.


"Yeah. You seemed really scared. What did you see?" Dean asked, trying to open Sam up again.

"I... I don't remember anymore..." Sam lied, hugging his knees to his chest. Dean shook his but started the engine and the search for a motel continued. They drove in silence for about 30 minutes before they found a little town with a decent looking motel.

"You hungry? We could get something to eat before checking in", Dean suggested as he parked the car in front of the motel.

"No. But you can go get food while I check in", Sam said, getting out of the car.

"Nah, I'll just order something in for both of us", Dean replied. He really didn't want to leave Sam alone and if he ordered in he could actually get Sam to eat. A cute blond girl gave the boys the keys, eyeing Dean from head to toes. Dean would have normally stayed behind to flirt and maybe even to score a date but now he just smiled his most charming 'sorry, don't have the time' smile and followed Sam to their room. A clear sign that things weren't alright.

"So what do you want, Sam? Chinese or pizza?" Dean asked as he looked at phone book.

"I said I wasn't hungry", Sam pointed out.

"Yeah, but you know... You will be later so what's it gonna be? Chinese or Italian?" Sam sighed and shrugged.

"Whatever, you choose", he said and fell on the bed, face first. Dean took his phone and never taking his eyes off his brother ordered one salami and one tuna pizza. He didn't really care if Sam said he wasn't angry, he was going to make him eat, one way or another. Even if that meant he would have to spend the last of his money to the best diner of the town.

When the pizzas came a little bit over 45 minutes later, Sam was in fast asleep. Dean had no idea how he could sleep after sleeping for almost four hours in the car but didn't wake him up. He ate his pizza watching some old action from the TV. Once he was satisfied he took a shower and went to the bed himself. He didn't bother to take shoes or jeans off Sam knowing that they would both wake up in the middle of the night. With that thought in his head he fell asleep, hoping to get at least five hours sleep.


No, no, no...

Why did he have to see this all again, he had already lived through it all! Sam watched as his nine year old self screamed for Dean in his bed. But instead of Dean John had came in, trying his best to calm the little boy down. Sam's surroundings changed and suddenly he stood in a hospital room where 13 year old Dean lied in a bed that was so big it made Dean looked way younger than he was. That was the first time either of the boys had ever got hurt so badly that they needed hospital care. Pastor Jim was sitting on Dean's bed side and Sam remembered how he had insisted that he and John went to a motel to get some rest.

The white hospital room disappeared and Sam found himself in an little house.

"Get out of here, Sammy!" 16 year old Dean yelled. 12 year Sam ran down the stairs but Dean didn't follow him. And both Sam's noticed that.

"Dean! DEAN!!!" younger Sam yelled. He was about to go back up stairs when Dean came down. He didn't run down the stairs though. No. He was thrown down. He landed on the floor and Sam could hear the horrible sound of bone cracking. Younger Sam ran to his brother's side, crying, begging him to wake up.

But the 23 years old woke up first.


Sam jerked up in his bed, managing to keep himself from yelling. He quickly looked around only to find his brother in a deep sleep. He looked at the clock. 3.15.

"Oh God..." Sam thought as he ran a hand through his hair. This was getting ridiculous. He knew he was making Dean worried sick but he just couldn't bring himself to tell him what he saw every night. It was funny, really... Dean had lived through those moment, too. Why couldn't Sam just talk about his dreams?

No, actually, Dean had not lived through all of the things that Sam saw in his dreams. Some of the memories that he saw were only his. Cuz that's what they were. Memories. Something way worse than visions, even if there wasn't pain. Cuz Sam could stop the visions from happening but the things that had taken over his nightmares had already happened. The pain of them could not be killed...

Sam got out of the bed and walked as quietly as he could to the bathroom. He closed the door and sat on toilet seat. He rested his head against the wall and let the fear and pain take over. Sam had no idea why the dreams scared him so badly, he had survived from all of them.

"But everyone did not", an evil little voice said in Sam's head. "Your Mom died. And so did Jessica. And your Dad. All that is left is Dean. And sooner or later he is gonna die, too. You know it, don't ya? You can feel it. You know it's gonna happen. It had been so close for so many times. It's only a matter of time when his luck doesn't last anymore. And who is gonna wake you up from your nightmares then, huh, Sammy?"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" Sam yelled. He didn't see how the mirror broke into thousand peaces, he didn't hear Dean pounding the door as he started to cry into his knees.


"Sam?! Sam, open the door! SAM!" Dean yelled through the door. When he didn't hear anything else but quiet sobbing he decided that this had to end. He kicked the door open and found Sam curled up on the toilet seat, rocking himself back and forth. The mirror was mashed but Sam didn't seem to be hurt by the pieces. Dean stopped over them and kneeled down in front of Sam.

"Sammy? Sam, it's okay", Dean said as calmly as he could.

"No... no it's not..." he heard Sam whispering.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is. You're fine, Sammy. Nothing can hurt you, okay? Nothing. I promise. What do you say we go back to bed and talk a little, okay?" Sam allowed Dean to walk him back to the room and settle him down on the bed. He wasn't, however, gonna talk.

"Sam this has got to stop! You're not eating and you barely sleep! What's going on?" Dean asked. Sam sniffed and looked down. He brought his knees back against his chest and remained quiet.

"Sammy, please..."

"I can't, Dean..." Sam whispered and lied down. He turned his back against Dean, though he knew neither one them was gonna sleep any longer that night. He heard Dean settling down and that's how they spent the rest of the night.



AN: Okay, so... that was the first chapter. If someone thought it was boring, I swear the nightmare's are gonna become more intense. And Sam is gonna become waaay more depressed. Okay, I hope I didn't spoil too much...

Let me know what you're thinking. Even just three little words 'I like it' or 'I hate it' are welcome. And I'm very sorry for my possible mistakes in spelling...

Review and the next chapter will come sooner. (That is if more people than me want to know what happens next)

Devil of My Family