Author's note: Alright guys. You were promised a one-shot comedy, and here it is. Straight from OZ itself, the pride of the Philosophy Club, Galinda the-not-so-good Witch! (FYI-this is based more on the musical then the book)

Galinda's Little Secret

Cast of Characters:





(We open on a typical day at Shiz Academy. Galinda and Fiyero are taking a perfectly marvelous stroll amid the grounds. Galinda, however, is beginning to act very strangely.)

G: Oh, Fiyero, isn't this a wonderful day? It's so great to be away from that horrid green girl.

F: (confused) I thought you liked Elphie…Why are you insulting her?

G: (laughs) Oh, Fiyero. Sweet, simple Fiyero. Of course I don't like her; I simply tell her I do so she'll help me in history lectures.

F: Oh. You women act very strangely. I think I'm going to go find Boq.

G: Oh, no! Dearest, you do NOT want to do that. I'm quite certain you should go and find Miss Elphaba, and I'll go and find Master Boq.

F: No, I think I will go find Boq. He and I have a history paper due, remember? You and Elphie have the same one.

G: Oh, no no no no no! Poor, simple Fiyero! You wait here. I'll go and get Boq for you!

F: Very well.

(Galinda leaves. Fiyero sits on the ground to wait for her. Elphaba enters)

E: Well, if it isn't Master Fiyero himself. Is there any particular you are seated on the ground?

F: Well yes, actually, there is. I am waiting for Miss Galinda to return. She was going to get me Boq.

E: (laughs) Hah! I find that one hard to believe. In fact, I just saw Galinda and Boq behind Crage Hall, drinking.

F: Drinking? Why, Miss Elphaba, I believe you are mistaken. Galinda does not drink.
E: Right. Well, come with me, and I'll prove it.

F: I simply cannot believe you. So I will come, just to prove you wrong!

E: Whatever. Come one, then, if you're coming.

(Elphie leads the way around the back of Crage Hall, hunkering down behind the bushes. Fiyero follows suit. Sure enough, Galinda and Boq are laughing raucously and passing a bottle around)

F: (whispers) I don't believe this. You were right? Why, I should…

E: Wait. It gets better.

B: (is unaware of their presence) Miss Galinda, I do believe that this feels…great. Just letting loose, letting your hair down…

G: (smiles seductively) I'm thinking of letting something besides my hair down…

(begins to remove her dress)

B: Miss Galinda, this feels…wrong

F: (coming out of hiding) I should say so! Miss Galinda, this is very improper behavior! And I should know something about improper behavior!

G: Fiyero! How did you find us?

E: (coming out of the bush) Well, I guess the secret's out. I brought him here to spy on you.

F: Miss Galinda, I have just realized one very important thing.

G: Yes…

F: I need…a drink! Boq, hand me that bottle!

(stunned silence)

E: Well, you're all idiots. Why isn't anyone offering me a drink?

G: Now that's more like it!