You know things are different now. You know that life as you knew it is gone, that nothing matters, not anymore. Nothing, except survival. You have the will to live just as Remus has the will to be strong and Sirius has the will to be brave. You want to live, and you want Lily to live and you want to watch Harry grow up into a miniature version of you with green eyes.

You would give anything, anything, for that bastard to be after the Longbottoms'. You'd give anything, if only you could have your life back. To know that Lily is safe and happy and still in love with you, to know that you wouldn't have to look into her tired, helpless eyes and tell her that everything will be alright when you don't even know if it's true, but you tell her anyway because she's Lily and you love her too damn much to watch her suffer.

You would go to hell and back again if that's what it would take for Harry to grow up without the fate of the world on his shoulders. You only have to look at his innocent, blissfully unaware face to wonder why he chose Harry. Your child deserves a change at life. He deserves to be spoiled by his mother, he deserves to learn from his father, he deserves to grow up and fall in love and get married and have children of his own. You would do anything for him, and you wonder if this is some kind of sick joke that's being played on you. You always said your kid would be special, but dammit, you didn't mean for it to happen like this. You wouldn't have wished this on anybody.

You watch him sleep sometimes. You stare at this life that you created and you hate yourself for doing it to him. And just when tears spring to your eyes – angry, hateful tears – your Lily comes in and doesn't say a word. She lays her head on our chest and you reach out a hand and place it on Harry's head and you stay there, you and your wife and your son, until the sun creeps into the room and another day begins. And then, just before the whole room is lit up with the rays of light, you look at Lily, who is asleep, but still using you for support.

You have her and she has you and you both have Harry, and everything will be alright, you know it will, because she's Lily and he's Harry and you're James, and as long as you live, nothing will change that.