All the characters will be extremely out of character cause I want them to be! So sue me!
Disclaimer: If I was Tamora Pierce, Kel and Neal would be together, so would Dom and Yuki, Alanna and Jon, Briar and Sandry, Tris and Keth, etc. etc.
The Llama that Ate all the Cheese!
One day when Alanna was at the palace, she woke up with an insane craving for cheese!
"I can't take it anymore!" she growled. "I want cheese and I want it now!" So Alanna got up and went to the ice box that kept her precious cheese cold. (a/n I am pretending that they have ice boxes in Tortall! I know they don't, but in this story they do! So sue me!) To her utter horror, she opened it to find that the cheese was...GONE! And we all know Lady Alanna's temper, now don't we?
"ARGHHHHHH!" she screamed. "WHERE IS THE CHEESE!" Upon finding no immediate solution to the case of the missing cheese, she decided to break into Raoul's room and steal his cheese, since he had undoubtedly stolen her cheese in the first place. She picked his lock and arrived just in time to see a llama eating all of Raoul's cheese! The llama burped and ran through the llama shaped hole in the wall!
"NOOOOOOOOO! CATCH THAT LLAMA!!!!!!!" Alanna's newest scream, which was filled with very naughty words of that we shall not write, woke Raoul form his slumber.
"Huh? Wha? I could have sworn I just heard Alanna scream about a llama..." Raoul muttered sleepily.
"RAOUL!!!!!!!!" Alanna shrieked, flying into his bedchamber. "A llama is eating all the cheese in the palace, well actually just yours and mine and I WANT CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!"
"IT ATE MY CHEESE!!!!!!!!!! WHAT????????? WE SHALL KILL THAT &$&$$&$!# LLAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And so that's how the cheese-eating llama chase was started. The llama next went to Kel's room, where a shocked Kel and Neal tumbled out of bed and joined the chase. It then proceeded to Yuki's room, where Yamani curses were heard, Dom's room, where he tried to strangle Meathead because he thought poor Neal was the llama, and finally Daine and Numair's room, where Numair laid a tracking spell on the llama. They tracked the llama all the way to Jon's room, where he was congratulating the llama by giving it cheese flavored ice cream.
"WHAT THE BLAZING ARE YOU THINKING JON!!!!!!!!!!!!" Alanna screamed, throwing purple balls of fire at him while simultaneously Raoul approached him, cracking his knuckles, Kel and Yuki uttered thousands of Yamani curses, Neal threw green lightning bolts at him, Dom hunted for, and found a heavy book, which he then threw at Jon, and Daine turned into a sparrow and pecked Jon repeatedly in the face. Jon started screaming. (A/n poor Jon:'( cry for him) But Numair had yet to join the battle.
Suddenly, "Jon, as a punishment," Numair spoke as everyone was rudely shoved back from him, causing Daine to flutter madly about his head, "You will no longer have any llamas be able to approach you for 15 years. Also, you will have huge urges for cheese, but as soon as you start to eat the cheese, bad things will happen. All for 15 years." Black fire sparkled around Jon and then disappeared. Jon whimpered as the llama ran away.
Jon's wail of "But I like cheese and llamas!" was drowned out by the cheering of those in the room. And so everyone went back to their rooms, beds, and sleep, singing praises to Numair, the savior of their cheese.
Yeah, definitely my first fanfic, so leave me alone! Personally, I think it's hilarious, but I don't know what you think so click the magic review button and tell me!!!!!!!!! oh and insanity of characters rocks! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!