Disclaimer: Own it? No I don't.

A/N: FINALLY! Sorry guys, for taking so long (if anyone's going to still be reading this after two months) but it's finally finished! The chapter is long, but I didn't want to make it two chapters. This is actually pretty different from the other ones, and it starts out a bit slow, but bear with it. I had to build up to the climax!! XD

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the grand finale.

Sasuke growled under his breath. That man had to be around here somewhere….he just had to be! There was no alternative! He was all pumped up and ready to fight—that, of course, meant that his evil devils' spawn of a brother must be lurking around somewhere, because obviously he'd come straight to Konoha when he sensed the main character was ready to kill him! And of course, he was the main character.

Still…Konoha was not exactly a little place. There were many buildings and semi-dark corners the bastard could be hiding in. Sasuke spent his first few hours hunting around in various tea shops—Itachi liked his tea. When that didn't work, Sasuke decided to start rummaging around in nail salons and the like. There was no other explanation for the man having such irritatingly perfect nails.

Indeed, he still had much searching to do.

"Members of the Ino Faction! I can't stress how awful this is!!" Ino wailed.

"I don't t-t-think it's so bad…" Hinata mumbled. "S-so what if he's running around Konoha n-n-naked? That's a good thing, isn't it? Ino snarled and whacked Hintata on her forehead-protector with her hammer.

"For the last time, Hinata!!! He was NOT naked!!"

Orochimaru sniffed. "Hey, let the girl dream! Just because your life is soulless and empty doesn't mean you have to take it out on her!!"


"You heard what I said! And, like," Orochimaru huffed, "this is not a time to be split apart even more than we already are! I support the baby-blue clothes, but the hair is taking it way too far! We need to catch up to him before everyone sees him and starts getting ideas!!"

Hinata nodded.

Ino sighed and dropped her hammer.

"I'm sorry guys….I guess you're right. All this time….I've been such a bitch!"

Orochimaru shrugged, "Well, I wasn't going to go that far…but you've pretty much summed up what I'm thinking of you."

"C-Can you ever forgive me?" Ino asked humbly.

"Hey, what a friend's for," Orochimaru smiled, patting her on the back. "Now, let's go save Sasuke, right?"


He turned to Hinata.

"Hinata, I promise, if we find him naked, you get to go first."

Hinata's face turned so red Ino thought it might explode. Then the Hyuga nodded, and smiled, "Damn right I will!"

Orochimaru stared in surprise, then grinned ferociously. "You get 'em girl!!"

Ino pointed in a random direction, and yelled, "TO SASUKE!!"

Finally, after a very long night, the mysterious man arrived in Konoha. He considered going to get tea—in fact, he almost had a strange compulsion to go to a place where he might easily be found. Unfortunately, his tongue still hurt from being burnt, and decided to get a quick nap instead. Regrettably, even mysterious figures like himself had to sleep once in a while.

He waltzed in to the nearest hotel, and quickly got a room. Upon entering the room, he tossed off his cloak and fell backwards onto the bed—

--but he didn't hit the oddly lumpy, but always bouncy mattress usually found in hotels. No, he hit something much harder and scalier.

"Damn it Kisame!"

"Dude, get off of me, Itachi," Kisame grunted. "I was sleeping here."

Slightly ruffled, Itachi jumped off the bed and pretended he meant to crash on his partner.

"You don't have to pretend, you know," Kisame remarked. "Gawd. I swear, your Uchiha pride is ridiculous."

"Oh, shut up."

"And by the way, I have the weirdest feeling that you need to be found by someone, somewhere."

"Tch. Not until I get my beauty sleep for my beautiful face," Itachi grumbled, jumping on the other bed.

Kisame sighed and rolled over. Why on earth did he get stuck with a girl for a partner?

"You know…maybe we should follow Neji. We might as well see the fruits of our youthful labors!" Guy suggested happily. Lee balked.

"Y-You mean….spy on him?" He gasped. "Guy-Sensei!! We can't interrupt Neji's big moment of confronting Tenten and their romantic moment afterwards!!"

"No. But we can watch." Guy grinned, causing a random sparkle. "And it's our responsibility as his friends to make sure that everything goes just perfect!"

"Of course Guy-Sensei! I should not have questioned your judgment!"

"Then get the camera, my little clone, and we shall go after Neji!!"

"Damn!" Sasuke swore. He had a stitch in his side from running around for hours. Itachi wasn't in the nail salons, he wasn't in the hair salons, he wasn't in the dango shop….where could his brother possibly be? It was taking him too long to find him. At this rate, he'd be exhausted by the time he found his brother…Not to mention everyone running around was starting to get very repetitive. There was only one thing he could do now….HAVE A FLASHBACK!!

He took off running again, and looked around for random objects to trigger a flashback. Ah-ha! Across the street was Konoha Outfitters!


Sasuke sauntered confidently off in the presumable direction of the dressing room; regrettably, he couldn't see over the pile of tri-colored clothing. No matter. As an Uchiha he was born with a dangerously accurate sense of direction and the ability to pull off anything with grace and poise. Ah yes, it was good to be an Uchiha.

He felt himself hit the floor before he realized he'd tripped. The culprit? Sasuke removed himself from his face-plant into the clothes (luckily they'd broken his fall) and turned to see…..a big yellow sign that read "Caution: Wet Floor". Irritatingly enough, it was also illustrated with a stick-figure shinobi face-planting on the stick-figure floor. Sasuke growled at it and stood up with deadly intent. The sign would live no longer. He would turn it into a pile of charred, black ashes.

Blinking, he examined that train of thought.

No, he corrected, he would turn it into a pile of charred, gray ashes. Black was not an option!

Before he managed to perform the proper hand signs for turning offending yellow signs into piles of charred grey ashes, it struck Sasuke that if no one had seen his fall, then there was no point hovering around the scene of the crime! His dignity might yet be saved!

End Flashback

Sasuke shuddered. Those were scary times…back in the days he was still emo. Ick. The thought made him sick. He stopped running and looked around…Dang it! He'd only run a couple blocks. That wouldn't do at all. More time needed to be taken up! And, when there was nothing else to do….it was time for another flashback!


"Damn!" Sasuke swore. He had a stitch in his side from running around for hours. Itachi wasn't in the nail salons, he wasn't in the hair salons, he wasn't in the dango shop….where could his brother possibly be? It was taking him too long to find him. At this rate, he'd be exhausted by the time he found his brother…Not to mention everyone running around was starting to get very repetitive. There was only one thing he could do now….HAVE A FLASHBACK!!

He took off running again, and looked around for random objects to trigger a flashback. Ah-ha! Across the street was Konoha Outfitters!

End Flashback

"Damn it!" Sasuke hissed. "That just happened a second ago!!" Why couldn't he flashback to something useful? Something that would make the audience really, really hate Itachi. Of course! That painful memory would show them!


"You are weak," Itachi whispered. "Why are you weak?...Because you have…" He grinned evilly and leaned in closer, "Too many flashbacks."


End Flashback

"I don't have too many flashbacks," Sasuke muttered. That would make them hate Itachi for sure.

He randomly decided he should start trying hotels. The first one he came across, he went in and asked the woman at the counter, "Have you seen a man who walks around in darkened corners with pretty nails who was probably drinking some sort of tea?"

The woman thought for a moment.

"You mean that guy who just checked in four hours ago? He wasn't drinking anything, but he did want some Tylenol for his burnt tongue. He's in room 123, on the third floor."

Sasuke's fist clenched. He'd found him.

"We found you!!" Ino yelled, leaping for Sasuke. Sasuke jumped aside---right into Orochimaru's arms.


"Hi Sasuke," Orochimaru purred.

"AGHHHH!!!" Sasuke disentangled himself and jumped over towards Hinata, who was still wearing her forehead-protector over her eyes.

"Sasuke, we've really got to talk," Ino gasped. "Your hair—"

Sasuke flicked a buttercup bang out of his non-emo face. "Ino, I can't talk about my beauty right now. My brother is upstairs, and I must go kill him."


"Ino, this is kind of important. But you can come watch me kick his ass, if you want," offered Sasuke. Without waiting for a reply, Sasuke stepped into a convenient elevator and pushed the button for the third floor. The doors shut before the members of the Ino Faction could catch him.

"Crap!" Orochimaru hissed. "We'll never catch him in time!!"

"Quick!" Ino yelled. "The stairs!"

The three started running up the stairs. Could they make it before Sasuke caught up to Itachi….?

There was a knock on the door. Kisame looked over at Itachi.

"Well, aren't you going to get it?"

Itachi rolled over. "No. You're closer to the door. You get it."

Kisame rolled his eyes and got up. As he walked to the door, he muttered under his breath. "It's always, Kisame do this. Kisame do that. No one ever appreciates me." He undid the dead bolt, and opened the door. A blond boy in rather….gay…colored clothes stood there, with red eyes that clashed with everything and a pathetic kind of death-glare.

Itachi sat up, but did not look at the door.


The blond boy grimaced. "Uchiha….Itachi."

Kisame sighed. Why did they always have to be so dramatic?

"All right you two…now that you've introduced each other, could you get on with it?"

"My pleasure," Sasuke snarled.

"WAIT!!!!" Ino, Orochimaru, and Hinata yelled, panting as they ran up the last flight of stairs. "Sasuke, don't—"

"Is Tenten here?" Neji asked, following the girls up the stairs. "She and I have to talk."

"That pig-headed bitch isn't here," Ino huffed, crossing her arms. "She has abandoned Sasuke in his time of greatest need!!"

Neji's eyes lit up. "R-really?" A speck of hope fluttered in his chest. If Tenten wasn't here for Sasuke…then maybe…she wasn't in love with him anymore? He did have a chance!!

"Sasuke…" Itachi spoke barely above a whisper, but it was easily audible to all in attendance. Perhaps it was because an air of extreme awkwardness had fallen over the group, creating utter silence. "I've heard….many things about you."

Sasuke smirked. "Really? Well, it's only natural that the word would spread of my new strength."

Ino shared a horrified look with Orochimaru.

Itachi stood up and looked out the window. "New….strength? There is no strength…other than hatred, of course."

"Tch. Like I was gonna follow your orders like a dog!" Sasuke growled, taking a step into the room. Kisame took a step towards him, blocking him from going any further. Apparently, Itachi knew what was going on without looking.

"Sit, Kisame."


"I said sit!"

Kisame muttered some more under his breath, but went and sat down on his bed. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Itachi started to turn his head—

"DON'T!" Ino squealed. "He's not ready yet!! He's—"

"He's naked?" Hinata squeaked. She twitched, and then dashed for where she presumed Sasuke to be, and pounced, pinning a warm body underneath her.



"You're mine first!!" Hinata stated, trying to keep the struggling body beneath her.

Everyone except for Itachi, who was wise enough not to turn around, stood with their mouths agape. No one knew how to approach the new situation.

"Hinata! What the heck! Get off of me!!" Neji gasped, fighting to breathe from her strangling grip. Hinata paused, obviously confused.

"Huh? N-Neji?"

Before she could straighten herself out and get off her very disturbed cousin, something else happened.

"What the he—" Itachi's voice was mildly surprised.

"MWHWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! NOW SASUKE WILL FOREVER LOVE THE TENTEN TRIBE BETTER THAN THE INO FACTION!!" Sakura yelled at the top of her lungs, holding the ends of the net which Itachi found himself ensnared in. She and Tenten stood on the windowsill of the open window. Both had their hands triumphantly on their hips. Sasuke blinked. Surely his eyes were seeing things. Itachi wasn't standing in a very generic net, the likes of which was used in almost every Pokemon episode by Jesse and James. He blinked again, and his eyes opened up to the same sight. Apparently, Itachi really was standing in a very generic net. How bizarre. And what was all this about the Tenten Tribe?

Tenten and Sakura posed a little longer for effect, and to rub it in the awestruck faces of Ino, Orochimaru, and Hin—

Tenten's mouth fell open.


The voice of his love gave Neji the adrenaline to push Hinata off him.

"Tenten, I—"

"Neji!!! That's disgusting! She's your….your cousin!!" Tenten spat, obviously disgusted. Neji felt his face heat up.

"It's not what it looks like—I came here to get you back!!"

Tenten frowned. "Get me back from what?"

Neji sniffed, and straighten up. "Tenten, I know you lost your faith in me ever since I lost to Naruto in the Chunnin Exam, but no matter how many times I get uppercut by a blonde idiot, I will always love you!!"

"…Neji…" Tenten's conflict was evident on her face. She looked at Sakura, then back to Neji. Then she saw Sasuke, in all of his blonde glory. The sight made her recoil in horror. Since when had Sasuke dyed his hair that awful color?! Well, that made her shallow little mind up immediately. She got down off the windowsill.

"I'm sorry Neji. We just wanted to kill Itachi for Sasuke so that Sasuke would love us more than those idiots in the Ino Faction, but…I guess that was a stupid thought. All of us girls have been fighting over a stupid boy…we kinda lost sight of what is really important."

"Does that mean I can have him?" piped Orochimaru.

"NO!" Ino, Hinata, Sakura, Tenten, and Sasuke said simultaneously.


"Could you ever forgive me, Neji?" Tenten asked.

Neji shrugged. "Sure. I guess my destiny is better than I thought it was."

"Tenten," Ino sniffed. "That was a beautiful speech. And I want to say that…I'm sorry for all of the terrible things I've said about you and Sakura! Really, in the end, we're still all members of the SasukeSeven."

"Yeah," Tenten agreed.

"Yeah!" Hinata and Sakura chimed.

Neji's smile disappeared. "Wait…you're still going to be in the SasukeSeven?"

"Well, of course!" Tenten replied. "I mean, he still is the hottest boy in Konoha, second only to you, Neji."

Neji almost protested, but shrugged his shoulders again. "I guess that's still better than me being emo."


"Never mind."

"Am I still a member of the SasukeSeven, then?" Orochimaru asked.

"No!" All of the girls answered in unison.

"But I'm—" Orochimaru began.

"Hey!! Wait a minute here!!" Sasuke yelled. "This is supposed to be MY big fight scene with my brother! This is what the WHOLE STORY has been leading up too!! Not some stupid touching reunion between everyone! This is supposed to be a bloody, gory, brutal fight to the DEATH!!"

"Well, excuse us for having some sort of a life, Sasuke!" Neji said.

"Tch. You're all just jealous of me. Now, Sakura, let Itachi out of that net so that he can face me, and we can fight!" Sasuke demanded. How could this be happening?! His big moment, the one he'd been waiting for, training for, and becoming not emo for was here, and everyone else was distracting him from it!

Sakura hesitated. "Are you sure you just don't want me to kill him right now, Sasuke? It's not like he could escape from this—"

Itachi walked calmly out of the shredded net.


The evil older Uchiha walked over to the corner, where Kisame was huddling in fear.

"What's wrong with him?" Sasuke asked sarcastically.

"N-n-net….." Kisame shuddered. Itachi poked him with his toe.

"Get up Kisame, the net is gone."

"B-b-but….it's a n-net…."

"Get up. I destroyed it."

Shakily Kisame got to his feet, and glanced over at the torn remains of the net. He shivered, but seemed to look a little less pale blue.

"What was that about?" Sakura asked.

"Kisame doesn't like nets, because he's had some bad experiences with them in the past," Itachi explained. "Long story short, the Mist villagers mistook him for a fish one day."

Sakura looked at Kisame sympathetically, "Oh. I'm sorry."

"THAT'S IT!!! ITACHI, YOU ARE GOING TO FIGHT ME RIGHT NOW!!! NO MORE EXCUSES OR INTERFERRANCES!!" Sasuke roared, glaring around the room at everyone to make his deadly intentions clear.

"Very well, Sasuke. If you insist," Itachi remarked calmly.

Everything came down to this. Sasuke stood in a fighting stance, his every muscle taut and ready for action. In a moment, he would find out. Was he still too emo? Or had he finally cast that dark part of his life aside, to gain true strength? The true strength that would kill Itachi and avenge his clan, the true strength he had sought for so long.

Finally, Itachi turned around. Their eyes met. Sasuke stood completely still, waiting for a reaction.

At first, nothing happened. Then Itachi started to quiver.

Sasuke fought back a smirk of triumph! He was quivering in fear!!!

Then he heard a noise. It was barely audible at first, and he wasn't sure if he was imagining it—but it didn't stop. He couldn't even tell if it was Itachi or not—Itachi's cloak blocked any view of his mouth. It got louder and louder, and when Sasuke finally realized what it was, he felt his stomach take a nose-dive.

Itachi was laughing.

And not in just a 'ha-ha, that's funny' sort of way, he was clutching his sides and laughing. He laughed and laughed. Everyone just stared. They'd seen many strange things this day, but this was the strangest of all. Uchiha Itachi, the genius and murderer of his clan, the most introverted and taciturn of people, was laughing. Kisame stared, his blue jaw slack in wonder. In all the years of being his partner, he'd never seen him laugh.

Orochimaru stared.

Guy and Lee, who'd been hiding at the other end of the hallway, were infinitely glad they'd brought their video camera. Not only had they gotten the dramatic and emotional reunion of the SasukeSeven, and the admission of love from Neji, but now they were getting Itachi laughing his ass off.

Neji, though he felt a little out of the loop, managed to feel stunned.

The SasukeSeven watched in a mix of astonishment and horror—they'd never seen anything like this, but more concerning—how was their beloved Sasuke going to handle this kind of humiliation? If only they'd managed to tell him sooner about the fatal error of his ways.

The combined emotion of every other spectator was nothing compared to the hurricane in Sasuke. In that single moment of realization, all of the strength went out of him. He couldn't even focus his Sharingan on the man—every sense seemed to be consumed with that noise, that terrible, awful noise of Itachi's mirth. It rang through his skull and burned straight through his heart, and all he could think about was that surely the torture he'd been put through with the Mangekyou's Tsukiyomi was nothing compared to this. Numbly he realized he'd fallen to his knees.

Why? He thought. I did everything I could to raise myself from my emo ways. What have I been doing all of this time?

Sasuke stared numbly at the ground, which was probably for the best, because now Itachi had to lean on Kisame to keep from falling over.

A rougher note was added to Itachi's baritone laugh—Kisame had started giggling too. The laughter was viciously contagious, and the ridiculousness of the situation was beginning to set in. Then Orochimaru fell prey to it; then Guy and Lee in the hallway. Neji started next, and then Tenten couldn't help herself either.

The worst part was that now, most of them were laughing only because everyone else was laughing—nothing was really funny, except for the fact that they found it funny.

The rest of the SasukeSeven put up a tough fight—after all, the laughter was because of Sasuke, but eventually, even they started to snicker.

To Sasuke, the sounds of their laughter was like hearing the screaming demons of hell. All of his dignity and his genetic Uchiha pride was crushed in a single, painful instantaneous eternity. And just before he completely cracked…the greatest betrayal of all.

At first he thought he was crying. But no. It was something far worse than that. A single chuckle escaped his lips. Over the roar, he heard the thud that was Itachi falling to the floor with laughter, and that was it. He couldn't resist any longer. He started laughing and laughing and laughing.

"…..Oh…….oh…ohmygod…." Itachi wheezed, holding his sides. "Ohgod…my sides………owww……." He stopped and lay gasping for air. Slowly, the laughter died down as everyone tried to catch their breath and sooth their aching sides. Everyone had almost stopped laughing, when Neji snickered, and that set everyone off again.

This time, when it ended, everyone was in far too much pain to start up again, and most of them were on the floor.

"Sasuke……..the look on your facewasPRICELESS!!" Itachi gasped. "I'd heard rumors about your new style….but I didn't imagine it would be so BAD!! Oh…..oh god….You slay me, little brother, really, you do…"

Sasuke sat up with wide eyes. "Really?" A ridiculous smile covered his face. He sprang up.

"I did it!! I did it!! I KILLED ITACHI!!! I really did it!!" Sasuke jumped around. "Sakura! I avenged my clan!!"

"H-huh?" Sakura didn't understand this sudden leap from utter humiliation to jubilation.

"I slew Itachi! He died laughing!!" exclaimed Sasuke.

"But…" Sakura glanced over at Itachi, who was still catching his breath….the fact that he was breathing was a good indication that he was still alive.

"He said so himself! I slew him!!" Sasuke chortled, taking Sakura's hands and dancing around the room with her. Needless to say, she was very, very confused. But hey, if Sasuke was dancing with her, she could deal with that.

"God….Kisame, help me up," Itachi said, holding his hand up. Kisame frowned, but didn't mutter under his breath. He grabbed the offered hand and pulled him up. On his feet again, Itachi brushed his cloak off, and resumed a dignified position. Kisame looked at him in a whole new light. He'd always known Itachi was mentally unstable, but he didn't know he was completely crazy.

Sasuke had switched dancing partners, and was now waltzing around with Ino.

Just in case, Neji glared at Tenten, who blushed and shrugged sheepishly. She stepped closer to Neji, to assure him she wasn't going to be joining Sasuke.

Sasuke danced around the room, then let go of Ino and snatched up the next waiting member of the SasukeSeven, who happened to be…

"Egh!! Don't touch me!" Sasuke pushed Orochimaru away and dashed towards Hinata. Orochimaru stuck out his lip in a pout and turned away. "Fine, be that way…"

"You know," Neji remarked, "Now that everyone's in a disgustingly good mood, I think I can say that, Hinata, if you want to wear your headband around your neck, go ahead! You can just call it a neck protector!"

"R-really Neji?" Hinata slipped her headband off her eyes and returned it to its rightful place around her neck. "Oh, I can see again!" Her eyes fell on Sasuke, whom she remembered only with dark hair. "Eeep!! I-I-Ino! You can have him first n-now!"

"Come, Kisame," Itachi said. "Our work here is done."


"Hopefully my foolish little brother realizes now that there is more than one way to skin a weasel….and that…" He took a deep breath. "THAT COLOR OF HAIR SUCKS, SASUKE!!"

Sasuke was now all the way down the hall with Hinata, and he yelled back, "I'll kill you, you bastard!!"

Itachi nodded.

"As it should be. Let's go Kisa—" He looked, and saw that Kisame had already crawled out the window, in an effort to escape the increasing insanity. Itachi frowned. "Damn it Kisame! Heel boy, heel!" And he leapt out the window too, into the sunset, to rejoin the Akatsuki and leave Konoha alone for the moment.

Itachi's departure was hardly noticed, but only a few moments after he left, the group began to disperse.

Orochimaru, who couldn't bear to watch Sasuke waltz with everyone but him, left to plot more ways to woo the younger Uchiha.

Neji asked Tenten to dinner, who agreed on the condition that he pay for the meal.

Ino, Sakura, and Hinata decided to go home and have lives beyond that of the SasukeSeven and the presence of Sasuke.

Sasuke himself promptly dashed to Konoha Outfitters, and bought new clothes—in both blue and black. He also made a mental note to see if he could find some obscure jutsu that would make his hair grow out faster, so that he could regain his natural midnight color. Maybe, since he was obsessed with them, Orochimaru might have a jutsu for that.

The last two to leave were Guy and Lee, who dashed into the room previously occupied by the two Akatsuki members, so that they could pose and hug in front of the setting sun.

"Lee, we did good."

"Yes, Guy-Sensei, we did!"

"The power of youth will always prevail in the end, as well as digital video footage!!" Guy grinned. Lee bit his lip.

"Umm…about that, Sensei…"


"Ahh….I accidentally crushed the camera when I was rolling around laughing."


Because of the camera being destroyed, everyone returned to life as usual, and all lived under the delusion that those few days had never happened—after all, there was no evidence, and if there was no evidence, there was no crime. Or so they though.

"Wow, I can't wait to show this to everyone," Naruto laughed, holding his camera. "This is going to be such great blackmail potential….I'll never have to buy ramen again!"

A/N: Very generic ending, but I'm pleased with it all the same. Please tell me what you thought--all comments are welcome, and thanks once again for reading!!