hey guys, sorry I took so long to update hope you havent given up on me... but year just trying to finish year 12, well I have the next chapter for you, hope you enjoy and please dont forget to tell me what you think, it really helps, ok well enjoy :)
Sam hurriedly opened the front door as Dean carried me up the porch and into the house.
"Oh god, Dean what happened?" Sam asked worriedly, slamming the door and following us into the lounge room.
Dean ignored Sam momentarily and set me softly onto the couch. I hesitated before releasing my grip and pulling my arms away from his neck. My whole body was in a daze, one that I couldn't snap out of, I guess I was in shock. Dean walked over to Sam and began to explain what had happened. I could feel their gaze but I couldn't bring myself to look up at them. Were they still mad at me? Did they feel sorry for me? What would happen next?
I could easily tell that Dean was trying to keep both his voice and anger down. The story that he was telling Sam just seemed to keep going and so many questions were buzzing around in my head, how long had Dean been watching? Was he testing me before he stepped in? Had I tried my hardest?!
I gave up trying to focus on what they were saying; it was only until I faintly heard my name that I look up innocently.
Then went back to staring into space, I couldn't see anything in front of me, it was all just… empty.
I felt the weight of the couch move, one of my brothers was sitting beside me I didn't know which one, I failed to bring myself to look, 'what is wrong with me snap out of it' I told myself.
"Charlie?" Sam spoke quietly beside me, I couldn't pull myself away from my blank stare to answer him, when he didn't get a response I could tell he looked up at Dean.
Dean stooped down in front of me breaking my stare he new, he had to get in front of me before I would see anything, I had only been in this state of hysterics once along time ago and Dean was my knight in shining armor.
"Charlie? look at me…" he waited, I moved my eyes to meet his face, I had never seen so much sympathy come from Deans features, I pulled a confused face.
"Charlie… are you ok? You need to tell us everything that happened." He spoke nice and slowly.
Sam placed his hand on my shoulder to confront me and I flinched standing up and began to head up stairs, I could feel them following me.
"Charlie wait please… we just want to help you." Sam pleaded, I continued walking like I hadn't heard them.
Once inside my room I slammed the door behind me, not turning around to see if they were still following. I grabbed my huge teddy-bear and fell into the middle of the bed; I needed to hold something to try to calm myself down, to try to stop my hands shaking. To stop my whole body from shaking. I pulled myself into a sitting position when I heard a faint tap at the door before it was pushed open. I slowly glanced towards the bottom of the door, staring at the feet that had come into view; my eyes shot up to meet Dean's composed face. He stepped into my room and shut the door quietly, still staring intently at me; he flinched as he walked over to me, hands in his pockets.
He perched himself on the edge of my bed and I took a few deep breaths as I looked him over closely, something was different about him at that moment, he seemed softer almost. But, why is it that when you just want to be left alone, everyone seems to want to talk to you?
"Charlie…I…I want you to know that…umm, I'm re…" I cut him off before he could finish, I knew what he was trying to say, I knew that he was trying to apologize. Any other day I would have loved to see my brother squirm like this, but the past few days made it hard to do anything but accept.
"It's ok Dean…I know…" My response was barely audible but he had heard it. I looked over to him; he looked so sincere, so sorry. But it wasn't just about hitting me; this was a side of Dean that he tried so hard to get rid of, so hard to block out. Unyet here he was, trying to apologize for what he had done.
There was an awkward silence between Dean and I that went on for too long. It bugged me when I didn't know what he was thinking; Dean was so hard to read! I kept my head down submissively; I struggled, determined not to break the silence first. It wasn't until I heard Sam on the stairs that I looked up. My eyes found him standing in the doorway with a sympathetic look on his face, though it was more of a 'sorry but I have to ask you what happened and I want all the answers' kind of look. There was no chance of me being able to get through a talk like that today without totally breaking down. And I wasn't about to let that happen in front of my brothers.
"How are you feeling Charlie?" Sam asked quietly. I could tell by his voice that he felt helpless.
I winced at his question glancing swiftly at Dean before I set my eyes back on Sam.
I shrugged the question off as best I could, answering only a, "I'll be ok…" In response. My voice quivered but I hoped that it had escaped his notice. I wasn't too careful in my wording; I was too paranoid about getting out of that room.
"Look Charlie, we really need you to tell us everything that happened. Did anything happen with Rick? Did he…do anything?" Sam asked me awkwardly.
I screwed my face up. What type of question was that?! As if I would have let it go that far. 'I could have fought him off. Right?' I asked myself before shaking my head and getting weakly off the bed. I headed over to my draws and rummaged around for some clean clothes. I turned around and headed for the door, my head lowered towards the ground. I didn't need to face them about this right now, couldn't they wait?
"No…no, nothing happened…" I muttered as I went to exit my bedroom.
Sam stepped in front of me and I flinched. I looked up at him, my face distressed and defeated. He looked at me for only a moment, his head cocked to the side as if he was confused before he stepped to the side and let me pass.
I walked, or should I say stumbled to the bathroom. Sam must have fixed the door while Dean and I were out; for this, I was grateful! I shut it quickly and flicked the lock, heaving a sigh in relief that I was now alone. I let my head rest against the pale wood of the door before I turned toward the small shelf that held my toiletries. I placed my clean clothes down and turned on the hot water tap. I let steam fill the room before I took my clothes off, leaving them strew about the bathroom and jumped into the shower. I let out another sigh as the hot water fell gently against me; I now understood why people thought that a shower was relaxing.
I was glad that I had smashed the bathroom mirror; at least I didn't have to look at my reflection. I got out of the shower shivering, I hadn't realized how cold it was. I threw on an old baggy t-shirt over my singlet and pulled on a pair of old sweats before I began towel drying my hair.