And He Returns
Yaoi (SxC). AU. Bad grammar. I do not own Final Fantasy VII.
Just when I thought I got rid of you, there you are again. Smirking victoriously, because you know that you found me once again. I try to run, I try to hide, but you're always faster. You're always one step ahead of me.
I could tell you that you're sick and you should leave me alone, but all you ever do is laugh at me. And then, somehow, you manage to squirm your way into my bed, back into my life. I reject you all over and over again, yet you will always be here. No matter how much I run or scream, you never leave—You are like an illness I can't cure.
And this time it's no different. Just a week ago I kicked you out of my house. You told me that you would change and you would get better, but nothing ever changed. You broke my heart and then repaired it, just to break it again. I can't believe you actually slept with him in my bed. That's when I swore I would never lay down on those blankets ever again.
"What do you want?" I ask, trying to close the door, but you stop me by placing your hand between the door and the frame. Maybe I could shove you away, but I don't have enough willpower to do that. I hate you, but I still wish that you could change.
"Just let me in and we can talk." He says, his silvery hair cascading behind his back as gracefully as ever. I try not to look into his eyes, but I fail and immediately give in.
I step back and let him come in. As if opening him the door back into my heart… even though I know it will be smashed into tiny pieces once again.
"Sephiroth…" I mumble quietly, as he walks past me towards the living room and sits down on the couch. Then he just stares at me, probably waiting that I would join him… And I know what 'joining' him would lead to. Nothing good ever happened when he was around.
I look at him weakly, before closing the front door.
You are a great speaker. You can manipulate everyone to do everything you please. I have seen you to do it to others and you have done that to me too. Words truly are the mightiest weapon of them all. And I know what you are going to do, but I still allow you to do it. Why, you ask. I wish I could explain, but I'm afraid that there is no explanation for my doings.
It's like the question 'Why do birds fly?'. We do not know why the birds fly instead of walking and neither do we know why Sephiroth lies to get into someone's pants.
"Come here Cloud." Sephiroth says, his voice awfully calm and his eyes as if trying to seduce me.
"O-oh… Okay." I hear myself saying and my feet starts to carry me towards him. His smile grows wider as he realizes that he is getting what he wants this time too. He knows that I'm too weak to resist his might.
And, to be honest, I don't even understand why he is so powerful. What gives him the strength to pull me towards him like a magnet?
I seat myself next to him, carefully avoiding his eyes.
"What are you so afraid of Cloud?" The silver-haired man next to me asks, "…Is it me that you are afraid of looking at?"
I do not reply at his question. He already knows the answer, so what's the point in wasting any more words? I have nothing left to say and I just wish that he would disappear. Hasn't he already killed me enough?
"…You know what…" he purrs while leans in and touches my chin with his cold hand, "…You're so stubborn that I just hate to love you."
"And I love to hate you."
He chuckles and snakes his arm around me. I know that he feels my body stiff, but instead of pulling away, he just yanks me closer, almost harshly. His fingers ghost under my shirt, gently caressing my chest. It feels cold, but I just moan lightly, which only taunts him to move forward.
"S-stop…" I try to tell him, but it is all in vain. He's too focused in undressing me to even hear my voice. I guess I should feel flattered, but I'm not. I hate the things he does to me and nothing would ever change that, "…Sephiroth- stop!"
But he just pushes me down on my back and sits between my legs.
I open my mouth to speak again, but with his eyes he silences me.
I guess I still love him though. But why, that is the real question. Why do I love someone, who just keeps killing me all over and over from inside? How he who tears me apart and clumsily sews me back together, can still be the number one person in my life? Maybe I am just too deeply in love to understand how plain rotten you are. I guess to you it is just amusing how immature I am and that's why you never get tired of playing with me.
He throws my shirt away and closes the distance between him and me.
"Why do you do this to me?" I ask and let my eyes slip close, "…Haven't you murdered me enough already?"
Sephiroth laughs though I don't understand what is so funny, "…Oh Cloud, it's not you why I'm here. Why would I feel any special towards someone like you?"
That hurt. Really. But somehow I was able to keep a straight face and open my eyes again, "…Then get off me."
But he just shrugs apathetically. With a small chuckle he reaches towards my pants, starting to untie my belt buckle. I grab his hands and try to stop him, but he just roughly pins my arms against my sides.
"I said let me go." I say, this time slightly louder. But when he doesn't do anything else but continue pull my jeans away, I start struggling and scream, "I said get the hell away from me you freak!!"
He is slightly taken aback and that is when I was able to escape from underneath him. I stumble forward, nearly tripping on the carpet but I manage to regain my balance. I know that Sephiroth won't be confused for long so I run towards the kitchen, not really knowing why.
When I step into the small kitchen I can already hear loud footsteps behind my back. I'm too afraid of looking over my shoulder so I just clumsily make my way towards the wooden shelves and start to search through them, looking for something that could help me out of the situation. And after a quick search only thing I could find was a sharp kitchen knife. I glance at it and pick it up.
Maybe I was out of my mind when I chose the knife instead of words.
But when Sephiroth appears behind my back, I spin around on my heels and stab the knife into his stomach.
I was, and still am, a fool. But the only thing I could think is that I was ready to pay my innocent life, in order to get freedom.
But when Sephiroth reaches out to touch my face, a shocked expression covering his features, I feel my thoughts falling apart. I do not know what to think anymore, as I see the man I love and hate fall down in front of me. I do not know what to say, when he calls out my name in pain.
"I…" I try to say something, but I can't. All I can do is watch as Sephiroth falls on the floor and his once seducing eyes turn lifeless.
As he is completely sprawled on the floor, I kneel down next to him and place my hand on his stomach, right next to the knife. He is bleeding and I try not to look at the blood. But only the smell of the red liquid makes me feel dizzy and I try to maintain my sanity. Even though I am sure that I had lost that already…
"Cloud…" Sephiroth chokes and spits some blood out of his mouth, "…Why?"
"It was your turn to die this time." I say, amazed of the seriousness and calmness of my voice. Maybe those are my thoughts exactly, or maybe that was just some spontaneous reply. I do not know and I most likely will never find out, "…I… I am sick of this… I'm sick of you just coming back everytime I push you away. I'm sick of you using me and I'm sick of… Loving you."
Sephiroth let out a small laugh. Or at least I think it is a laugh.
"…You idiot," The silver-haired man said, letting his head rest on the cold floor, "People don't fall in love with the likes of you."
I bow my head down a little, before standing up. He gives me a look that I can't describe. Maybe he wants me to stay by his side till he takes his last breath. But after thinking through what I had just done, I couldn't stay there.
I look down at my hands. Taking a human's life is so easy that it is almost funny. With a small movement you can end it all here, but then again you can also start things anew. It is unfair that we others have power to decide when we want to put an end to something.
"I'm sorry…" I mumble, tears forming in the corners of my eyes, "…I-I didn't want to be the one who murders someone. It was you… it was you who always loved to bathe in other's misery…"
But there was no reply. And I know, no matter how long I stayed here, I would never hear anything but silence.
And after that day, I knew he would never return again.