Was I Wrong?
Disclaimer: Not mine but if they were, Dani would be arrested for being a dirty cop (insert whore joke here) and Olivia would have gotten the chance to say hi to Elliot last night because that bitch wouldn't have been there to completely ignore the fact that someone came in looking for Elliot. God, Dani you fucking moron, how much God damn effort does it take to write on a sticky note "A woman came in here looking for you and she went into the captain's office"?
A/N: Okay, after what was quite possibly my longest disclaimer ever, I now start my author's note. This is post "Underbelly" although some of the scenes are taken from the episode. I didn't get all the dialogue correct and I left out some of it in places I'm sure but bear with me. You all know that I don't like to acknowledge Dani in stories but for this post ep, it was unfortunately necessary. So please forgive me and I hope you enjoy the story. This is a oneshot and I think you guys have had to read enough of my insane ramblings already so I'll let you get to the story now. And as always, if you like it, please review.
She had to work up all her courage to ask for him by name. She nearly backed out just as soon as she saw the other woman but she finally managed to speak the words. He wasn't available but the woman, his partner could help her. His partner? She was his partner or at least she had been. But Olivia knew that she had been gone too long. She had been replaced. She took a deep breath and walked into Cragen's office. This was the second part of what she had to do today.
"I'm not ready to come back yet," she told her captain and she swore she saw a look of disappointment cross his face. She turned to leave when his voice stopped her.
"You're gonna leave without saying hi to Elliot?"
"He's busy," she muttered. She had caught a glimpse of him with that woman. She didn't have the right to be jealous. He wasn't hers to claim, not as her partner, not as anything. She had left without a word and she knew he must resent her for it. She opened the door to the now empty squad room "Don't tell him I was here okay?" she asked before she left.
"I'm not your precious Olivia!"
Damn right you're not! He wanted to shout. He wanted to smack her across the face for even speaking her name. Just the sound of her name sent a dagger through his heart. She had left to go undercover and she hadn't said a word. He had spent many sleepless nights, tossing and turning, thinking of her. He didn't want to be reminded that Dani wasn't Olivia. He knew that already. Like he could ever in a million years forget it.
His mind was hazy with alcohol. Just walk her to her car. That's all he was going to do and the next thing he knew, they were kissing. It had been so long since he had kissed someone like this that he didn't want it to end, no matter how loudly his own mind screamed at him. He wasn't attracted to Dani but she was there, she hadn't run away from him. Finally, the persistent beeping pulled them apart. He looked at Dani awkwardly, choosing never to speak of this again. He noticed however that Dani didn't look awkward.
"I say you just tell him," Casey propped the phone between her chin and shoulder as she sat on her couch "He can't possibly say no to you."
"Yes he can," Olivia said softly. He can say no. I wouldn't blame him for not feeling the same way "I was going to tell him today but…"
"Does he even know you're back?" Casey asked quizzically.
Olivia didn't respond for a moment "He… He's got a new partner."
"What does that have to do with anything?" Casey asked "You know that she isn't replacing you in his heart."
Do I even have a place in his heart? Did I ever have one? Did I lose it when I left? "It's just…" Olivia couldn't find the words.
"He misses you, you know," Casey said softly "I talked to him a few days before you got back. He was worried," Casey knew that Elliot had told her these things in confidence but Olivia needed to know "You should tell him you're back."
"But…" Olivia protested softly "I left and didn't say a word."
"He understands that," Casey reassured her friend "If you had said anything, it could have put you in danger."
"I can't face him Casey," Olivia whispered "I just can't."
"You can and you will," Casey said firmly "You're gonna face him and you're gonna tell him the truth. You're gonna tell him that you love him."
"I… what if he doesn't…" What if he rejects me? What if he hates me? What if the only good thing in my life tells me that I've got nothing left?
"Go talk to him Olivia," Casey said softly "Trust me." He loves you too girl. He's gonna hug you and never let you go. I just know it.
"Okay," Olivia said uncertainly.
"You go girl!" Casey smiled "Call me later and tell me everything," she hung up the phone so that Olivia wouldn't have anytime for second thoughts. Good luck, not that you need it.
Olivia picked up the phone again. She wasn't sure she could find the courage to face him in person just yet; she didn't really want to have to face that woman again for some reason. She dialed his number and held her breath.
"Stabler," the voice on the other end answered.
"Elliot," her voice was unsure at first.
"Olivia?" he was surprised. Happy but surprised "Where are you? Are you all right?"
"I'm fine," Olivia smiled slightly "I got back into town a couple of days ago," she tried to shift the topic of conversation off her assignment "How've you been?"
"Me?" he asked, stunned for a moment before answering "I'm good. Listen," he had to do this quick before he lost the nerve "What are you doing right now? If you're available… do you… I mean," he was nervous "Wanna grab something to eat?"
"Sure," she agreed "Where and when?"
"I'll pick you up in ten minutes," Elliot said eagerly.
"Cool," Olivia hoped that her tone masked the nervous energy that she was feeling "I'll see you then."
Elliot stood outside her building, shifting from one foot to another nervously. He felt nervous and he knew that he had to tell her. He had been standing there for five minutes before he remembered that he still hadn't pushed the buzzer. Chuckling at his stupidity, he pushed it and waited.
He didn't have to wait long; Olivia's response was almost instantaneous "Hello," she said eagerly.
"Liv, can I come up?" Elliot asked, still shifting nervously.
"Yeah," Olivia answered without hesitation.
Elliot almost took the stairs two at a time on the way to her apartment. When he got there, the door was already open. She stood perfectly framed in the open space. He stopped a few feet from her, taking in her appearance. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and she was smiling nervously. He breathed a sigh of relief at seeing her alive and unharmed. In two strides he had reached her and pulled her into his arms. She returned the hug and they stood that way for a few minutes. When they finally separated Elliot smiled widely "It's good to see you," he said simply. There were so many things he wanted to tell her but they could wait.
"Good to see you to," she told him. She wanted to hold him in her arms again but wasn't sure if he would accept that from her. She looked away, unable to keep eye contact with him as she spoke her next words "How's the new partner?" she asked.
Elliot coughed a little bit. She's not you. She's too tough. I'm the level headed one and we both know that's a bad sign. We kissed. He wanted to tell her all these things but somehow he couldn't bring himself to tell her. All he said was "Okay I guess."
"You guess?" she asked, a smile getting the better of her at that moment "You guess? You've been working with her and all you can say is 'Okay I guess'?" she laughed "Why the nervous act? It's not like I'm jealous of her or something," that was an utter lie. Although Olivia didn't want to admit it, she was jealous of Elliot's new female partner.
"Okay," Elliot held his hands up in surrender "She scares me."
Olivia laughed again "Oh she does not," she swatted him on the arm "Try again."
"It's true," he smiled "Whenever she gets me coffee I'm scared that it'll be too sweet."
"You're pathetic," Olivia leaned in close to him. She wrapped her arms around him again. Afraid of the consequences of what she was about to do but afraid of what would happen if she held back any longer "I missed you so much," she whispered in his ear as she laid her head on his shoulder. She was encouraged by the fact that he didn't move away from her "I'm so sorry about all of this."
"No," he told her as he held her tightly, taking a step inside her apartment and closing the door "Don't apologize."
She moved to her couch, pulling him gently along with her. She sat down with him beside her "I…" she began but trailed off when she realized the true weight of the words that she was about to say.
Elliot put a finger to her lips "You know," he began "I did a lot of thinking while you were gone."
"Yeah," she said. Expectant and fearful at the same time of what he was about to tell her.
"I came to a decision," he told her with a smile "I sorted out a lot of things and it all makes sense now."
Olivia nodded, silently urging him to continue. She was curious to know what he had to say.
He took a deep breath and finally decided to let it out "I love you," he sat back, waiting for her to make the next move. To accept his affections or reject them, it was her call.
She leaned forward and brought her lips to his "I love you too," she whispered just before they kissed.
Elliot hadn't felt whole in a long time but in that one moment when their lips touched, he felt more like himself than he had in what seemed like ages. This was nothing like the kiss with Dani. This time he was completely sober and he knew that it meant something.