Swayed by the Moon and Love
The moon was full and shining its silver lunar rays onto the city as it slumbered deeply.
The junkyard was bathed in the silver light and it seemed the moon had cast a magical spell, causing everyone in its wide view to sleep peacefully.
There was one though who was not swayed.
Demeter was sitting on top of the rusty car, her back to the junkyard and the sleeping forms that were scattered everywhere in their dens; the cats that she liked to call family.
Her eyes were locked on the dazzling moon and it had been its unnatural brightness that had woken her up.
The mystical moon did not make her tired, it made her entranced.
She had been sitting and watching the night sky for a long time. Demeter did not know how long exactly but she knew it was long enough to have watched the constellations of the stars slowly move across the black sky.
The stars were shining so bright and were so numerous, that Demeter wished she could just raise her right fore-paw and trail it through the river of sparkling dots.
It was on rare days like this that Demeter loved life.
Seeing such phenomenal grandeur before her very eyes, it made all the bad things in the world, and from her life, melt away and let happiness and peace flow through her.
Her life was not bad and she wasn't unhappy, but her past was.
The memories were always there in the back of her mind, always threatening to flow forth every time she shut her eyes for more than a second.
But not even those dark thoughts cold invade her thoughts.
The bright, shiny, silver moon was her cure and Demeter wished that every night could be like this.
But…she also wished she could share her happiness and peacefulness with another. She wanted to share this wonderful feeling of not being scared, of being safe…of feeling that you are the only one to be lucky enough to see something this beautiful knowing that everyone else is asleep.
Demeter didn't want to be alone.
Watching the moon like this gave her comfort every time it came out, but she wanted to have someone whom she could go and hug everyday, knowing he would be there all the time.
At night the moon was her companion, at the dawn it would disappear and once again, she would be alone, waiting once more for the night to come.
Waiting for the moon.
During the day Demeter would nap briefly from time to time but she would be a cheerful Jellicle cat to everyone. She would always chat to everyone, maybe even go for a stroll round the city that she loved so much.
But she still felt so lonely.
Yes she had her sister and thanked the HeavySide Layer everyday for her, but Demeter still didn't feel complete.
There was a piece of her heart, her soul, which was missing.
It is the gap that every being feels at least once in their life.
The want to have someone in their life to love and be loved back.
It was Munkustrap that she longed for. It was he that Demeter wanted to be able to share every special moment like tonight with. She wanted to be able to have his arms around her to keep her warm, to be able to snuggle against the soft black and white fur on his chest, to be able to feel his heart beat against hers as they looked up at the moon and her great beauty, together.
She loved him so much
They were good friends, there was no denying that, but whether or not if he saw her as more than a friend…well she just simply could not tell.
She had asked her sister if it looked like he did, just for an outsider's view on the situation, but Bombalurina had just looked at her with an understanding smile and gave her a big hug without saying anything.
Demeter knew that her sister was in a similar situation with a certain tom that could make any female cat swoon with just a look.
Well, I've never seen him in that way…
A cold shiver suddenly ran up her spine and glancing around, Demeter saw her moon was beginning the slow descend towards the horizon.
It would be an hour or two till sunrise but Demeter suddenly couldn't bear the thought of another day going by with her waiting for the night to come just so she wouldn't feel alone.
It was unbearable…
Suddenly deep inside her the melody that Grizabella had sung, began to replay itself in her head and Demeter felt words form a version that was entirely her own.
Demeter stood up on the t\roof of the car and looked up at the face of the moon which seemed to be staring back at her.
Grizabella had sung of her memories, but now Demeter would sing her own.
Opening her mouth and letting forth her words so quietly so only she could hear, Demeter put her heart and soul into every syllable.
"Star-light, I am cold in the moon-light.
I have so many mem-'ries,
I'm in love and alone.
Each day makes me want to cry it out-loud.
At night, I'm still alone."
She stopped singing as she felt a single tear slip out of her eye.
It dropped onto her cheek and slowly slid down her face until it fell off into the air, down towards the roof of the car. Demeter looked down in time to watch it fall and land with a small splatter on the metal surface beneath her feet.
Watching that small globule mass of saltwater splatter into a million pieces suddenly made something deep inside Demeter crack and everything became too much for her.
The lonely feelings, her silly dependence on watching the starts and moon for company, her memories of the physical abuse she once got from that attack many years ago when she was still a kitten, the thought and knowledge that Munkustrap didn't love her and never would…
It was all too much.
Demeter gazed up at the moon one last time before turning her back on it and the stars as she slid off the car and started to climb down the pile of junk that held it up off the ground.
She quickly reached the bottom of the enormous pile and found herself safe on the ground.
Immediately she began to walk towards the hole in the fence that was the only exit and entrance to the junkyard. Demeter walked silently not wanting to wake anyone up, but her face was cast downwards and her eyes were shut.
She had walked through the junkyard so many times she knew it like the back of her hand. She knew where every empty can, bottle and box was so she wasn't worried about tripping over or running into anything.
Even though her eyes were shut, Demeter could still feel tears rise in them.
From the feel of change in the hard ground under her paws, Demeter knew she was exactly twenty steps away from the hole in the fence.
Twenty steps away from leaving this sad, lonely life and having to go off and make a new, happier one.
She raised a paw and wiped the tears that were falling from her closed lids. Still she didn't open them but she continued to walk like one condemned.
Demeter knew she couldn't say goodbye to anyone, especially Bombalurina and Munkustrap. She knew everyone would probably be worried when they woke in the morning and that they might think that Macavity had cat-napped her but Demeter knew that her clever sister would figure it out.
Less than ten steps away.
Demeter sadly sniffed once to inhale the smell of the junkyard so she wouldn't forget.
Every last scent committed to memory.
Demeter sighed quietly and said, "Good-bye."
He body suddenly collided with something that was incredibly hard and Demeter immediately opened her eyes and saw black and white stripes made of fur. She was leaning against something very hard but very soft and furry at the same time.
It took less than a second for Demeter to realize that she had walked straight into something instead of walking out of the junkyard, but it took even less than that to figure out that she had walked into someone.
Taking a step back, Demeter refused to raise her head to look at the cat she had walked into because she knew who it was, but for the first time couldn't bear to see his face.
Her eyes didn't move from the ground but she felt his eyes looking at her and she couldn't help but make her ears droop at the amount of guilt that was now running through her because she had been caught.
Yes it was his voice, and it sounded more sad and confused than she felt.
She didn't reply but instead she tried to simply sidestep the tall cat that was blocking her from what was originally going to be a quiet exit. Demeter was abruptly stopped when two heavy paws came onto her arms and gently held her in place.
"Demeter, look at me."
His voice suddenly sounded angrier than the sad confused tone he had used only seconds ago. She had not meant to make him angry, but she knew it was understandable given the fact that she had tried to leave the junkyard without even saying goodbye.
Slowly Demeter raised her head and looked into Munkustrap's angry face.
His anger had always been a terrible sight to behold, but now it seemed to radiate off every fiber of his being…directly at her.
Demeter had only seen him like this only two times and she had never dreamt that she would feel the wrath of his rare anger.
Never before had she been scared of him, she had always gone to Munkustrap for advice and to have long talks with, but the intensity of his stare was making a fear that she had not felt for a long, begin to run anew in her veins.
"What were you doing Demeter?"
Demeter once again felt like the weak kitten she once was, terrified of getting hit by her first human owner.
But she was not that little kitten anymore.
Demeter was a fully grown, proud, female Jellicle cat who now knew how to take care of herself.
"I was leaving."
She nearly sighed with semi-relief at saying it out loud, but she couldn't believe the impact her three words had as Munkustrap's hardened expression suddenly drop and turn into one of confusion and utter panic.
Demeter would spare telling Munkustrap the real reason about how she loved him and how she didn't want to be alone…so she decided to lie.
"Munkustrap, I want to go and see the world. There is only so much I can see here in our city and staying here in the junkyard day in and day certainly isn't doing me any favours. I need to go and see just how wide the world really is."
Munkustrap was speechless and it showed on his face so plainly Demeter was surprised that his jaw hadn't dropped off yet.
It took him a minute for him to gather words. "You want to see the world?"
Demeter shrugged and nodded, trying not to show how upset she was that it seemed that was not going to make any attempt to try and stop her leaving.
Munkustrap saw her sadness and his sadness must have been obvious to her because his shock expression gradually began to change into one of concern and care.
"Demeter what's wrong?"
She looked up at him with tears stubbornly beginning to rise in her eyes and she found herself no longer able to keep eye contact with him.
Her gaze shifted back down to the ground and she nearly sighed at the whole situation when suddenly she felt a soft paw come into contact with her cheek. It began to slowly rub the sensitive fur on her cheek and Demeter had to try not to fling herself against him, but she could not but help lean against his paw that was causing pleasurable feelings to run through her.
She thought he was doing it to comfort her, but when Demeter looked up and saw Munkustrap gazing down at her with such an affectionate expression, she could not help but hope that maybe, just maybe, he did indeed see her more than a friend.
Those two words were uttered so softly from him she nearly missed it, but she read it on his lips and it was in that second that Demeter had chosen her fate.
Slowly she wrapped her arms around him and took a step forward so they weren't separated. Demeter laid her head against his chest and snuggled her cheek into the blanket of fur that covered it.
Her move had been bold and she was worried that he would push her away, but instead Demeter felt two arms wrap themselves around her.
His arms enclosed her tightly as he rested his furry head on top of hers and nuzzled. Demeter nuzzled back, relishing the feeling of how it felt, but knowing that from this moment on she would never be alone again.
"Can I show you something?"
Her question caught him off guard and slightly broke the moment, but he replied none-the-less.
"Sure, what is it?"
Demeter pulled her head out from under his chin and gazed up at her Munkustrap. She could not help but call him hers, but now was not the moment to ponder over that.
Carefully she pushed herself out of his arms but held both of his paws in her own. She gave him a smile and he smiled curiously back at her, wondering just what she was up to.
Quick as a lash, Demeter had released his paws and had disappeared through the hole in the fence. Munkustrap quickly thought she had gone from him forever but Demeter's head popped back through the hole and she was looking at him with a mock-annoyed expression.
"Come on slow-coach, otherwise we'll never get to where I want to take you."
He blinked once, a little confused with how she was acting but her weird mood was contagious as he felt a rare sense of wanting to play and have fun entered him.
Tonight it would just be Demeter and him, morning would wait.
In that second Munkustrap let go of all responsibilities as he flashed a grin at Demeter before suddenly starting to run at her.
Demeter let out a squeal that was mixed with playful fear at the sight of the tall black and white tom running towards her. She quickly turned and began to run just as Munkustrap jumped through the hole in the fence.
He was coming after her, and he was determined to catch her.
Demeter ran and ran, but the whole time she was laughing as she glanced back every few seconds to see if he was still chasing her.
Munkustrap was slowly catching up and he was too busy focusing on the queen in front of him, he wasn't even aware at all as to where she was leading him.
The playful chase lasted for several minutes but it was Munkustrap that finally stopped it when he leapt through the air and tackled her to the ground.
A fierce battle of tickling ensued as Demeter tried to pin him to the ground as her paws skimmed over all known ticklish parts of his body. He quickly got her back by using his body strength and weight to flip her off him and underneath him as he tickled her with no mercy.
They were both breathless from laughter but as the laughter died and the tickling stopped, Demeter gazed up at Munkustrap before leaning forward and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
He looked down at her with such love in his eyes; it didn't need to be expressed into words.
Demeter simply just returned his loving look with one of her own.
They were lying in a pile of fur, limbs and tails but the look they shared was magical.
Munkustrap suddenly became aware that he was sitting on grass and he turned his head away from Demeter as he glanced around the secret location that he had been brought to.
They were sitting on a hill in the city's Royal Gardens and Munkustrap had never seen such a perfectly situated spot as he looked up and saw the moon that was now very close to the horizon.
He turned his head back towards Demeter and she smiled at his awestruck face.
Munkustrap smiled as he gathered Demeter off the ground and into his arms.
"I was going to say exquisite but beautiful will do."
Demeter laughed which caused Munkustrap to look intently at her.
She stopped laughing when she aw his face.
He looked at her with a whimsical expression, "I love your laugh. You should laugh more often."
With a shrug, Demeter snuggled herself against his chest fur. "I'm sure I'll laugh more often if you give me a reason to."
Softly, he licked the top of her head and smiled, "I intend to hold you to that."
As Demeter rested against him, she felt a strong beat resound through his chest. Her heart slightly sped up but it quickly steadied as she smiled and shut her eyes.
"I love you." She whispered it into his chest as she gloriously felt his heart beat against hers.
Munkustrap had loved her since day one but hearing her declaration suddenly made his heart beat louder.
"I love you too."
Demeter felt the change in his heart and she smiled.
Immediately Munkustrap let go of her and watched as she curled up on the ground in a ball. He lay himself against her back and positioned himself so he could wrap his arms around her.
As they lay on the cold grass, dawn came and Demeter opened her eyes and watched as the stated to rise. The moon was gone for another night…but she didn't care. There was no part of her that was waiting for the night, no want to watch the stars and moon for company.
Sleep began to fill her tired body as Demeter shut her eyes.
She could feel his heart beating, his arms were wrapped around her in an embrace, his warm breath hitting the fur on the back of her neck.
Pure happiness began to bubble through her entire being as she felt peace and love enter her heart and soul.
She was complete.
Suddenly she began to hear a low rumbling deep in her throat as she feel asleep with a smile on her face, amazed at what it was for she had thought she had lost the ability to do it years ago.
She was purring.