Beta: This was kindly Beta'd by Grando181
Disclaimer: South Park is owned by Matt Paker and Trey Stone, and I make no claim to it, nor do I profit from this fic
Stan Marsh shifted uncomfortably. His current location- just outside the principal's office- was a nerve-wracking position. It usually ended with his parents being called in because their son had been cursing, fighting, disrespecting the teachers, blowing up school property, or making out with his boyfriend under the bleachers. Again.
He glanced sideways at his aforementioned beau. Kyle Broflovski frowned absently as he toyed with one of the strings on his cap. But there was something… something vaguely scary that reminded him of his mother. Not that Sheila Broflovski wasn't a loving, if overprotective and bossy mother. It was just that- most bossy mothers didn't go quite as far as say… starting a war with Canada over a dirty movie.
Stan drummed his fingers nervously against his thigh, seriously rethinking his desire to go to senior prom. Yes, it would be nice to go to the dance but probably not nice enough to go through…whatever was about to happen. The office door swung open.
Yeah, he probably shoulda kept his mouth shut.
"Goddamit!" There was a thump as Stan threw himself down in the opposite seat.
"Mmm?" Kyle glanced up from his slop. School lunch had only gotten worse since Chef left.
"Dude, they won't let us go to prom- at least not together."
He paused the spoon halfway to his mouth "We wanted to go to prom?"
"Well…yeah, dude. It's the prom."
Kyle, who was used to being left out of things, like church camp, Christmas and Easter celebrations, and anything that other kids thought his mother would be required to attend, hadn't really thought about prom. It was just another one of those things. But if Stan wanted to go…
"They really said we couldn't go together?"
Stan scowled. "Principal Victoria said we should be 'sensitive to students and their parents' cause they 'may not be comfortable with our relationship'." He jabbed an innocent vegetable with his fork. Kyle looked thoughtful for a moment. Then he stood up.
A determined look had settled over the Jew's face. "C'mon, Stan, let's go get our tickets"
"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm afraid to avoid offending anyone, we have to ask you to-"
"What about me? I'm offended! And I bet when I go home and tell my mom, she's gonna be pretty offended too!" Kyle shouted, placing both hands on the principal's cluttered desk.
Stan's mouth dropped open slightly. There was a kind of evil genius in this plan. Stepping on student's toes was one thing, but as any teacher in South Park knew, stepping on the toes of the crusading Jewish woman was… Well if she got into this thing there would probably be, not only admittance given to gay couples, but rainbow banners and triangle cookies with pink frosting as well.
"Well then she can call me and I will explain to her that I just cannot-" She pursed her lips tightly. "Well, I'm sorry Mr…?"
A slightly hesitant look came over the principal's face. Like that name should mean something… Stan leaned in for a better view. "Mr. Broflovski, but it is just out of my control."
"Fine! Then I'm gonna call my mom, Mrs. Broflovski, and-"
There it was. A slight widening of the eyes, weakening of the shoulders- realization dawning. She cleared her throat nervously. Stan grinned.
"Sheila Broflovski?" Principal Victoria looked carefully at Kyle taking in his Jewish nose, the red curls sticking out from under his hat, her mind matching them up with one terrifying woman.
"Yup." Kyle settled back into a relaxed stance.
"Head of the PTA?" She shifted nervously in her seat.
"Quite an activist, is she?" Principal Victoria threaded her fingers together nervously.
"Yup." Kyle replied again, a villainous smile sliding across his face.
"She wouldn't be the same Sheila Broflovski who instigated the American-Canadian War?"
"Oh, she is." The hands now widened into a placating gesture.
"Well, boys," she smiled nervously. "You certainly have a convincing case. We wouldn't want to discriminate against any of our hard working students! I'll call the secretary right now! And here let me write you a pass so you won't be late to your next class…"
One slightly altered pass later the boys walked out of South Park High a full three hours early.
Stan took his evil, evil boyfriend's hand and wondered how much it would cost to get the tickets framed.