Disclaimer: I don't own the Dukes of Hazzard or the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I'm not making any money, just cheap thrills. Very cheap thrills. ;)

Warnings: Extreme Silliness

Rating: FRT

Summary: What is wrong with Bo?

A/N: If you've never seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show this story will probably make no sense at all. For those of you who have seen it, well I'm sure you realize this is going to get weird.

Rocky Hazzard Picture Show

It was chilly this first day of November, making Bo glad for the chore of burning a large pile of brush. Suddenly from the corner of his eye he saw movement and a burning stick was being thrust in his direction. Jumping back, he stumbled, falling to the ground where he lay looking up at his older cousin with terror filled eyes.

"Bo! You okay?" Luke called out, tossing the burning stick back onto the fire and reaching for his youngest cousin's arm. He was surprised when Bo jerked away from his touch, a look of terror lighting his dark blue eyes. "Bo, what is it?"

Bo looked at Luke in a daze, as though he'd never seen him before. Shaking his head, he looked away and then back to his cousin, the earlier terror no longer there. "Sorry, ya startled me," Bo apologized. "Why was you shoving that burning stick at me anyway?"

"Burning...? I wasn't shoving it at ya Bo, it fell off the fire, I was just about to toss it back on when you fell."

"Sorry, I should've known better."

"It's okay Bo, sorry I scared ya," Luke assured his cousin. Reaching down, he grabbed Bo's hand and helped the younger man back to his feet.


Bo parked the General outside the Boar's Nest, more than ready for a cold beer. Climbing out of the orange stockcar, he followed his older cousin, Luke, inside. Just as they came inside, Daisy stepped from behind the bar wearing a black and white maid's uniform.

"Hey Daisy, what's with the getup?" Luke asked when he saw her.

"Oh it's something new Boss wants to try. Guess he's trying to give the place some class," Daisy explained. "Bo honey, you okay?" she asked her younger cousin, not liking the way he was refusing to look at her.

"I'm fine Daisy," Bo mumbled, blushing furiously and looking anywhere but at his cousin.

Giving Luke a look, Daisy silently asked for an explanation. Luke didn't have any more idea than Daisy about what was going on with Bo and could only shrug in response. Something strange was going on with him though; he'd been acting weird ever since his trip to Atlanta with Dale Lewis.

"You want to talk about it cousin?" Luke asked, once they were seated at a table.

"Huh? Talk about what?"

"Whatever's bothering you."

"Ain't nothing bothering me Luke," Bo denied.

"Uh-huh, that's why you wouldn't even look at Daisy and blushed like a virgin on her wedding night," Luke said, not buying it for a second.

"I don't know what you think you saw Luke, but there ain't nothing wrong with me so just drop it!"

"Alright I'll drop it...for now."


Later that day, the boys went by the post office to pick up a package Miz Tisdale had called about. Stepping into the small building, they were surprised to see that there were several people already waiting in line. For the first time that either cousin could remember, they actually needed to take a number.

"Hello boys," Emma Tisdale greeted them cheerily. "If you'll just take a number and a step to the right, I'll be wi...Luke catch him!" she called out as Bo paled and began to list to the side.

"Bo!" Luke cried out, just managing to catch his cousin as he nearly fainted. Somebody grabbed the stool from behind the counter, bringing it around for Bo to sit on. "Come on Bo, you're scaring me here," Luke called. He gently slapped his cousin's face in an effort to bring him around, sighing in relief when it seemed to work.

"Luke? What's going on? Why's everybody looking at me? How come I'm sitting down?"

"You almost fainted that's what's going on," Luke explained.

"Fainted? You pulling my leg?"

"I swear I'm not Bo. One minute you were standing there and the next you were white as a sheet and starting to fall."

"That don't make no sense Luke, why would I be fainting?"

"I don't know Bo, but I aim to find out. Miz Tisdale we'll be back for that package later okay?"

"Sure thing Luke," Emma replied.

"Come on Bo, let's get you over to doc and get you checked out," Luke said, helping the younger man to his feet.

"I don't need to see the doctor Luke, I probably just need to eat something is all," Bo protested.

"Bo," Luke said, clearly exasperated with his youngest cousin. "You're going to the doctor's office and that's final, or do I need to call Uncle Jesse?"

"No, I'm going," Bo replied sullenly.


"What's wrong with him doc?"

"I don't know Luke, as far as I can tell there's nothing at all wrong with him."

"How can that be? He almost fainted, that ain't normal," Luke argued.

"Well now a lot of things can cause that Luke. Could be he just turned his head too fast, or maybe he hasn't eaten eno..."

"He's sitting right here ya know," Bo interrupted, tired of being spoken about as though he weren't in the room.

"Sorry Bo," Dr. Appleby apologized. "Like I said, I can't find anything wrong, but I do want you to go home and rest until tommorrow."

"Why do I need to rest? You said yourself ya can't find anything wrong."

"That's true Bo, but it ain't normal for a healthy young man to nearly faint. Hopefully you just need some rest and a couple of good meals, but if this happens again I want to see you immediately, understood?"

"Yes sir," Bo answered, knowing when he was beat.


The next day Bo was finally allowed to get back to his normal routine, thankful that he'd had no further problems. After chores that morning, he and Luke were going to see Cooter so the mechanic could check out the shocks on the General.

Pulling up out in front of Cooter's garage, they were surprised to see Enos' patrol car parked there as well. As they walked inside, they could hear the voices of their two friends coming from the rear of the garage.

"Now Enos, just calm down. I'm sure they're just as afraid of you as you are of them."

"If you say so Cooter," Enos replied, looking very skittish.

"Hey Cooter, Enos, what's going on?" Luke asked as he approached.

"Oh hey Luke," Cooter greeted, "I was just trying to help Enos."


"He has to go down to the grade school this afternoon and talk to the first graders about staying safe. He's kind of scared of them, I been telling him there ain't nothing to be afraid of."

"Cooter's right Enos, you'll be fine. You just got to remember, you're bigger than they are," Luke said, trying to help as well.

"Hey Luke, I thought Bo was coming with ya," Cooter said, suddenly realizing that the blond was nowhere to be seen.

"He is," Luke told him. Turning around, he saw that his cousin was no longer standing behind him. Worried that something had happened to him, he went in search of the younger man. He hadn't gone far when he heard a noise coming from Cooter's small office. Pushing open the door, he was surprised to see Bo sitting on the couch, his knees pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped around his legs as he rocked himself. "Bo? What's wrong?" Luke asked, well and truly frightened for his cousin.

"Luke, I got to get out of here, please," Bo managed to get out, before burying his tear streaked face against his knees.

"Alright Bo, come on," Luke gently agreed.

"Are they still out there?"


"Cooter and Enos."

"Yeah, why?"

"I can't see them right now," was the only reply.

"Okay, I'll ask them to go to the back until we're gone. Will that work?"

"Yeah, thanks Luke," Bo said in a strangled whisper.

By the time they'd made it out to the car, Bo was once again in control of himself. He knew that he was worrying his cousin, but he couldn't explain what was wrong. He just couldn't face Luke with the truth; he'd rather take a beating than have to tell his cousin the truth. So even though he knew it would worry Luke more, he turned his head towards the window, refusing to say anything more.

When they got home, Bo went straight down to the creek, the place he always went when he needed to think. Luke started to follow him, but was delayed when Uncle Jesse came out of the back door, calling his name.

"Luke! What's wrong with your cousin? You two have a fight?"

"No sir, I don't know what's wrong," Luke replied. Quickly he told his uncle all that had happened in town and about Bo's silence on the drive home. "I'm worried about him Uncle Jesse. He's been acting strange all week, ever since that trip to Atlanta. Do you think maybe something happened to him? Maybe he got hurt or in trouble?"

"I don't know Luke," Jesse answered. "He hasn't said anything to you?"

"No, and that ain't like him either. He always tells me what's going on," Luke said, glancing nervously towards the creek.

"Well, I suppose he'll tell us when he's ready. Until then, all we can do is keep an eye on him and make sure he knows we're here for him."


Nothing more had been said, and two days later, Luke was beginning to think he'd been over-reacting. Though he did notice that Bo didn't seem to want to go into town, or he hadn't until today. Not that he really wanted to today, but it had been Bo who remembered that they had to see Boss today, as their probation officer. Parking in front of the courthouse, they climbed out of the General and headed up the steps. Coming inside, they could hear voices coming from Boss' office. They couldn't make out what was being said, but they heard Boss mumbling something about Saturday night. Then Rosco screamed and they heard a crash from behind the closed door. Rushing forward, Luke shoved the door open, afraid that somebody was hurt.

"Rosco! You okay?" Luke asked. He was trying hard not to laugh at the sight of their county sheriff sitting on the floor, a bouquet of flowers covering his head and a broken vase in front of him.

"Of course I'm okay, but you're not. I'm gonna cuff ya and stuff ya for trespassing on county property," the embarassed man threatened.

"Rosco, ya can't arrest me for trespassing in a public building."

"Alright, alright," Boss interrupted. "What do you want Luke Duke?"

"I don't want nothing Boss, me and Bo just came in for our meeting," Luke replied.

"You and Bo, well where is he?" Boss asked, looking around Luke as though he were hiding the younger man behind him.

"Huh?" Luke asked, turning around. "Oh for pete's sake," he muttered, going to look for his cousin. "Bo? Where are ya dang it? This ain't the time for games cousin," he warned as he searched for his wayward kin. "There ya are," he said when he finally saw Bo peaking his head from the stairwell leading to the cells.

"Is everything okay?" Bo asked.

"Yeah, Rosco just had a little fall but he's okay. What about you Bo? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry Luke, I don't know what got into me," Bo lied, not daring to tell his cousin the truth. "Is Boss ready for our meeting?"

"I don't care if he is or not, I am so come on," Luke replied.


That afternoon the situation finally came to a head with the arrival of a stranger to the Duke farm. Bo was in the barn with Luke, when a blue sedan pulled up out in the yard. Luke left Bo to handle the small repair job, while he went outside to greet their company.

A few minutes later Bo finished the repairs and moved towards the front of the barn. Just as he stepped outside, he heard his uncle's voice.

"I see you've met my..."

That was all Bo heard, as he was assailed with nightmarish images. He wasn't aware of his uncle and cousin calling his name as the world spun around him and the darkness claimed him.

"Bo? Wake up cousin, that's it," Luke encouraged when he saw the blue eyes beginning to flutter.

"Luke?" Bo asked in confusion.

"Yeah, you feeling okay?"

"I guess so," Bo answered, looking away as his cheeks flooded with color.

"What happened Bo? And don't tell me ya haven't eaten, I know better."

"I can't tell ya Luke."

"Sure ya can," Luke argued.

"Where's Uncle Jesse?"

"He went to get Doc Appleby, his car broke down on the way here. Now quit stalling Bo and tell me what's going on with you? You been acting strange all week and I want to know why?"

"Alright," Bo finally said. "You ever seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show?"

"Yeah, but what's that..."

"I'm getting to that, if you'll let me explain. When I went with Dale to Atlanta, he wanted to go see it. I hadn't never been, but I'd heard of it and I was curious. Well Dale wanted to smoke some pot before we went, don't worry I didn't do that. I know Uncle Jesse'd tan my hide if I did, but Dale smoked some and I guess just from being in the same room with him..."

"You got a contact high," Luke interrupted.

"Yeah, so we went and saw the movie. That was really strange Luke. There were people all over the place, dressed up like characters from the movie. Then we got inside and there were some kids in the back smoking pot right there in the theater. I could smell it, I don't know why nobody called the police about it."

"Bo, quit stalling."

"I ain't Luke, I swear. I just need to explain so you'll understand. It was a really strange night, people were throwing things at the screen and calling out stuff to the characters, like they could hear them or something. I guess between the movie and the contact high I shouldn't have been surprised."

"Surprised by what Bo?" Luke asked, fighting to keep his voice calm.

"When I got home, I went straight to bed. Well I woke up the next morning and I knew I'd had a dream, but I couldn't remember anything about it, just that it was strange."

"A dream? What's that got to do with..."

"All week it's been coming back to me Luke, bits and pieces only. I tell ya cousin, some of them were pretty scary too."

"Like what?"

"Like when I thought you were shoving that burning stick at me. All of a sudden you weren't you anymore, you had longer hair and a hunchback. Then at the Boar's Nest when I saw Daisy in that maid outfit, that was just embarassing. Miz Tisdale was scary, but Cooter and Enos that was just funny. That's when I started to have a better idea about what was going on, but I couldn't tell ya. Then this morning in Boss' office I remembered more, which was scary too. But the scariest thing was when I came out of the barn and I heard what Uncle Jesse was saying..." Bo trailed off with a shudder.

"Bo, ya still ain't told me what about the dream was so scary."

"Luke please don't make me tell ya," Bo plead.

"Oh no, you're gonna tell me and you're gonna tell me now. If it got you upset enough to be fainting then I think you need to tell."

"Well when I heard Uncle Jesse talking the whole dream suddenly came flooding back, guess I just couldn't take the shock of some of them images."

"And the dream was?"

"It was the Rocky Horror Picture Show Luke, I mean not the whole movie but the big scenes. Only it wasn't the actors who were in the movie, it was people I know. You were Riffraff and Daisy was Magenta, Miz Tisdale was the Professor," Bo paused, shuddering at the image of the postmistress in fishnet stockings. "Cooter was Brad and Enos was Janet, that's why I had to go into his office the other day. I needed some place where I could laugh myself silly and I didn't want to have to explain."

"Boss and Rosco?"

"Boss was Eddie and Rosco was Columbia," Bo told him with a mischeivous grin.

"What about Uncle Jesse and you?"

"I was...Rocky," Bo was forced to pause, knowing Luke would never hear him over his laughter. Finally Luke stopped laughing long enough for Bo to continue. "The scariest part though was Uncle Jesse, he was, oh lord it was horrible."

"Come on Bo, it couldn't have been that bad, unless he was... He was, wasn't he? No wonder you fainted," Luke said as understanding dawned.

"You have to help me Luke, please I can't tell Uncle Jesse the truth, it's too embarassing. Dang it Luke, it ain't funny!"

"Yes it is Bo," Luke argued through his laughter. The look of despair on his youngest cousin's face was like a cold bucket of water in the face, sobering him quickly. "I'm sorry Bo but I can't see anyway around telling Jesse the truth. You don't have to go into details and it ain't like he's ever seen the movie, but you'll have to tell him as much as ya can without lying to him," Luke advised.

"Alright, I guess you're right."

"I just can't believe you dreamt about Uncle Jesse as Dr. Frankenfurter, that's just weird," Luke said with a chuckle.

"Weird ain't even the word for it Lucas, that was downright scary," Bo retorted, beginning to chuckle himself as he finally saw the humor of it. He stopped laughing when he heard Jesse's pick-up pulling up outside. Looking at his cousin with something close to terror, Bo plead with his eyes for Luke to save him.

"I'm sorry Bo, the most I can do is to intercept the doc while you tell Uncle Jesse what's been going on."

"Guess that'll have to do," Bo agreed with a small, sickly smile.

"Luke said you wanted to talk to me," Jesse said as he stepped into the room a moment later.

"Yes sir," Bo said. Looking down at his blanket, Bo nervously picked at the fabric as he haltingly told his uncle about Atlanta and everything that had been happening since.

"So ya went to see the Rocky Horror movie and then ya had a dream about it that got ya upset?"

"Yes sir, if you'd ever seen that movie..."

"I have seen it and I can surely understand why a dream about it, with your friends and family in some of the parts could upset ya. What I don't understand is why you didn't just tell us what was wrong?"

"I didn't know completely Uncle Jesse. I was just remembering bits and pieces of it all week, thought I was going crazy for a while. Then today it all came back to me, that's why I fainted. It was just more than I could handle all at once like that," Bo explained, his face red with embarassment.

"Well I'm glad to know it ain't anything serious. Guess we won't be needing Amos' services after all," Jesse remarked as he stood up from the bed. "Bo?"

"Yes Uncle Jesse?"

"If something like this ever happens again, you tell one of us what's going on okay?"

"I will, but I don't think it 'll happen again."

"You don't?"

"No sir, cause I ain't never going to see any movie that Dale suggests again," Bo answered with a grin.

"Probably a good idea," Jesse agreed as he left the room. He was relieved that the question of what was wrong with Bo had been answered.

The End

Yes I know, weird and strange. Please let me know what ya think of it.