Ah Zim and Dib Romance

By: ShamenKing

Rating: M for Mature

Warnings: It's gay, seriously

Disclaimer: I don't own anything IZ related, except the story line


Dib snickered gleefully. Zim had apparently gotten sloppy in protecting his base from 'intruders'. He moved and ran a hand up the vent that seemed to run deep underground. It was hooked into the alien's house, just by the back right corner of it to be specific. With a switch of his wrist, he pulled a screwdriver out from the hidden pockets of his trench coat. Taking a deep breath, and holding it, he carefully checked to see if the alien used the right type of screws. Exhale. That idiot DID. They looked odd, but they were compatible with the 'wimpy earth screwdriver'.

"Jeez Zim…" he muttered, his smirk in place, "You ARE getting sloppy, aren't you?"

No one answered, but that's what he had expected. Usually when you talk to yourself, no one talks back. That's why its so fun. He finished with the last screw and tried his swing at pulling off the lid. It was a no go. He pulled again, with all of his inferior human might. Nope.

"HIIII, Big-Headed Boy!"

The boy jumped and dropped his precious screwdriver down the vent. He pouted and mumbled, "I liked that one…" He sighed and turned, twisting his face into a grimace. GIR… Wait. GIR!!

He swiveled around, now sitting on his knees. With a bright and cheery smile he picked the robot in a dog costume up into his arms.

"GIR, am I glad to see you." he said slyly, chanting, "Play it cool, play it cool…" in his head.

GIR squealed in response, seemingly happy to be wanted around.

Dib bit his lip and tried his best to look worried, then said, "Well, GIR… I need help. You see this vent lid?" he paused and waited, GIR nodded 'yes' and he went on, "Well, I was going to help Zim out, ya see. I was going to…er, clean out this vent. But I can't get the vent open. Zim will be so disappointed." He paused to give the robot a pitiful look, "Think you could help me? Zim 'll pleased."

"Masteh? Pleased?" GIR asked excitedly.

Dib nodded, trying to hide his ecstatic look. GIR WAS stupid.

GIR took a minute to think. And another. And another and another until… "OKAAAAYYYY!!!"

He hopped from the human's arms and took each side of the vent in his little doggy paws. The vent groaned and creaked, trying to keep a hold of its lid. But it was no use. GIR squeaked as it popped off and slipped from his paws. It hit Dib on the side of the head and the boy fell over, his mouth drooling.

The robot turned and touched his chin in slight concern. A noise in the house distracted him, it went 'DING'. He panicked, looking to the Dib, then to the house. Then suddenly screamed in frustration. And decided that what happened in the house was more important than the well being of his owner's enemy.


Just a little while later, Dib stirred and sat up, wiping his mouth free of dirt and spit. By the look of the sun it seemed that it was still very early morning. Maybe…three…four o' clock. Whatever, he moved and started towards the now open mouthed vent. He looked down into the depths of it. Uww, it looked deep. Really, really, really deep. He bit his lip and began to reconsider his act of stupidity. But then again…his had messed with his new glasses. It could take pictures, so maybe Zim wouldn't try to crush them. But then again…

He shook his head. Made up his mind and by God he would act on it! Dib stuck his legs out and put each one in slowly, savoring the time he had left on the surface. He swallowed thickly. Maybe…he tapped his chin. Then screamed a blood- curdling scream. He was already falling, and he whined as he heard GIR's maniacal laughter follow him down. Why that stupid-- he thought before he hit the bottom with a sickening thud.

"Ow-how-how…" he whined, trying to keep quiet at the same time.

Dib felt his eyes well up with tears from the pain, but he had felt worse. He fumbled around for his missing screwdriver, and gave up quickly. Feeling like a risk taker, he kicked at the vent cover. It didn't budge. He kicked it again, and he left quite a noticeable dent. Again, he kicked it and it flipped off and into the darkened room. Dib suddenly felt the suffocating darkness press into him and he mumbled, "Nerve, nerve, nerve…"

Something skittered across the floor and landed at his feet. The vent cover. He looked up. Two red gleaming orbs glared at him. A trap? Dib shakily stood up, and tried to be quiet as he moved to the side of the orbs. Maybe Zim wouldn't be able to see him in the dark? Unlikely, but the orbs weren't following. He felt himself well up with power, and he charged, jumping onto the alien. But what he had knocked to the ground wasn't soft or anything like a body. It was more…metallic.

He narrowed his eyes, it wasn't GIR either. Dib felt the hair on the base of his neck stand up. Something was behind him. And he was sure he knew who it was.

"Dib Stink…" he growled into the boy's ear.

Dib tried to let his fear show, but it was hard. "Zi -- Alien Scum…?" he whispered. It was confirmed. He swirled around and kicked out his foot, feeling the alien jump over it. Zim tried to move and land ontop of the boy, but Dib quickly rolled to the side. They jumped to their feet. Their breathing was in sync, both trying futily to calm their nerves. It wasn't working.

Zim launched himself at Dib in the dark, but missed again. He growled and snapped his fingers. In seconds the room was lit up with bright, florescent lights. Dib squinted while Zim's ocular implants adjusted quickly. He smirked as he watched Dib fumble a bit before his eyes adjusted too. The human narrowed his honey eyes and he frowned. Zim narrowed his in turn and growled heatedly.

They jumped each other. Zim attacked Dib with a kick, Dib attacked Zim with a punch. Both attacks hit their targets. The two gasped in unison, both seemingly pained and strained. Zim touched his stomach, and Dib grabbed at his jaw. Again, they attacked each other, this time they actually got into a big fight. Zim scratched Dib's chest with his claws, taking away half of the boy's favorite shirt.

Punching, kicking, hitting, hair/antennae pulling, clawing, biting and growling was all that emitted from them both. Both let out pained gasps or shuddery breaths with every hit. They finally rolled away from each other and stood up. Dib backed off a bit, just in front of a wall. Zim watched him, then ejected his spider legs. He towered over the human and used the robotic legs to quickly stand in front of the poor boy.

Zim frowned and narrowed his eyes. He brought his hand forward, and snapped the lenses to Dib's glasses in half. They stared at each other for a second before Zim brought his fist back.