Disclaimer – I own nothing.

Author's Notes – Right so don't write a lot of Spike, Angel, or Buffy stuff, but this just popped into my head and I adore Spike so, yeah. Set in season 5 of 'Angel' shortly after Spike is corporeal again.

Summary – Spike is making a nuisance out of himself much to Fred's amusement and Knox's annoyance.


What's This?



(W&H Lab)

"What's this do?" Picking up a shiny triangle shaped device, I turn it over thoughtfully in my hands. Looks like a paperweight. Wonder if the bird would notice if I pinched it.

Glancing up from her papers, Fred is quick to close the distance between us, carefully removing the item from my hands and replacing it on the shelf. "It disrupts the flow of time." Guess she'd miss it if I took it than. S'okay plenty of other shiny goodies lying around this place.

Picking up the next thing that catches my eye, I suppose it's best I check with her again. Wouldn't want to go blowing up the world or anything...well not again I mean. "What's this do?"

Looking as if she's resisting the urge to groan or scream in panic, Fred plucks the metallic box away from me before any of its alluring buttons can be pressed. She's quick for a mortal I'll give her that. "It breaks down hypersonic molecules, please don't touch it."

Giving her a small pout as it's put on a higher shelf than the last, I have to fight the urge to grin as she instantly softens at my well practiced look.

"It could really hurt you Spike, and I'd hate to see you get hurt right after getting your body back, okay?" Ruffling my hair, she is a brave lil thing isn't she. Wonder if she knows the last person who tried that ended up having their intestines pulled out through their throat.

Smiling a bit at her concern though and pitiful attempt to detour me with kindness, I give a shrug before smoothing my hair back in place. Looney girl. "K, won't touch it luv, promise." Waiting until she's turned back to her work, I return to my hunt. Now this looks promising. Many upon many buttons, lots of gems, shiny casing. "Hey what's thi-"

"Put it down." Jumping at the new voice, I swear I hate this place! It is definitely messing with my senses because there is no way that stupid lil git could have possibly snuck in here like that under normal circumstances without me knowing. Too many people here. Too much magic and bad mojo.

Giving Knox a menacing growl, I don't like him. Can smell the danger coming off him a mile away. Not to mention his unsettling interest in Fred. Even as a ghost I felt it, tried to tell the poof, but lord knows that did all of no good. Thinks nothing can get past him in this place. Right.

Hand suddenly on my shoulder, Fred gently takes my find again. "It projects holographic images, but it's not working correctly right now for some reason. Knox is actually supposed to be working on it." Ah so the boy's not just bad news, he's also a slacker.

Seeming to forget about me, Knox is taking the device from Fred now, letting his fingers linger just a touch too long for my liking. "I'll have it up and running in no time."

"I'm sure you will." Bouncing back to her own area, she doesn't even turn around when I move to grab something else and her sweet little sing-song voice beats me to it. "Spike, don't touch." Damn.

Fighting against the urge to do it anyways, in the end I drop my hand not wanting to upset her. "No fun."

"No offence, but perhaps your friend should go somewhere else?" No offence but perhaps you could stop drooling over my friend. Hey wait a tick, my friend. I have a friend. And actual, not friend by circumstance or force, friend. Well when the hell did that happen? Suppose it doesn't matter really, all that matters is she is my friend and as such it's my job to keep her safe from creepy and possibly evil men like Knox. Or at the very least have some fun tormenting said men.

"What and leave this lovely creature down here all alone?" Hopping up on the table she's at and making certain not to sit on or accidentally mess up her papers, I give Knoxy boy one of my best smiles. That's right, can practically taste the jealousy coming off him.

"She's not alone." Voice a forced sort of calm, I'm all the more pleased when I see Fred's too involved in her research to notice my game, or his reaction to it.

"Like I said all alone." Leaning over and laying my head against her shoulder, I give a soft purr that I know from past experience is irresistible to her gender. No clue why, but hey why question a good thing.

Yep see there she goes giggling that sweet giggle and brushing her fingers through my hair and down my neck. "You're so silly." And evil, mustn't forget the evil, pet. Well okay not evil-evil now that I have this pesky soul, but wicked at least. Bad influence definitely. Oh look at that face ol' Knox is making, can humans turn that shade of red?

"Aren't I just." Continuing to purr until her petting let's up and she has to turn the page and write something down, I guess no more pettins are coming my way right now. Girl gets distracted too easily. Well bullocks now what do I do? "Hey here's an idea, how about me and you go get us some grub, huh? Sun set a while ago, you haven't had dinner yet and I could go for some greasy food. Feels like forever since I've gotten to actually eat anything. Well you know that wasn't red and came from a butcher shop."

Smiling, but still working, she shakes her head. "Oh Spike I'd love to, but I really have to finish this." That won't do, working too hard she is. Plus I'm definitely not leaving her alone down here with him.

Wracking my brain for something she might have mentioned in the past few weeks she liked, or something I might have seen her eating a lot of, it takes me a minute but it finally clicks. "We could get tacos."

"Tacos?" Bingo. Lowering her pen and chewing her lower lip thoughtfully she's definitely on the cusp of agreeing. Just needs one more little nudge.

"With hot sauce and chips. Maybe some margaritas."

"Well these can wait until tomorrow I guess." I rule.

"Course they can." Carefully stacking up the papers and putting them in a folder before she can change her mind, I wrap an arm around her shoulders. "I'll even come back and help." Looking past her I give Knox an open and superior smirk. You're not getting your hands on her as long as I'm around, and don't you forget it.

Helping her slip off her lab coat and put on her normal jean jacket, she grabs her keys offering me a curious, but sweet smile. "I don't see why everyone thinks you're so evil, you're such a sweety."

"You've no idea."

The End