Here is the end of the story. This is just what I think happens when Edward is away from Bella before he talks to Rosalie. Hope you like it. Please review

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters plot or setting they belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Time passes but does not heal all wounds. I can't say for certain how long it has been since I left Bella. If eternity could grow longer mine certainly has. The sun rises and falls, the seasons change but I have ceased to do anything. Without her my existence has no meaning.

I met with my family in Chicago after leaving and we decided that New York would be a good place to go. New York seemed like a fine choice but even being on opposite coasts didn't stop my mind from constantly wondering what Bella was doing. I think the family thought that if they put distance between Bella and I it would be easier, but it wasn't. The few days I spent with my family were long and painful but then again all days were that way for me. Esme grieved the loss of Bella almost as much as I did and still do. The pain in hers eyes was a reflection of what can be found in mine and that was too much to take. The others hide their thoughts from me. They would count things or sing songs. It was clear they have definite opinions on the matter and no one wanted to discuss them. The worst part was watching the others love each other. Seeing them hold hands, kiss and just be close ripped open wounds that I had so carefully bandaged. Bella was the only person in the world I wanted to hold and kiss and I could never do that again. The pain reached a new high on that day.

Then there was the wrath of Rosalie that followed me through the house. Rosalie shared whatever was on her mind. She was never fond of Bella and hated moving because of her. Rosalie's thoughts flowed freely around me and many times I winced at the memories she conjured up for me. The others would even mention things that seemingly had nothing to do with Bella and I would find a way to connect her to it. She was always on the fore front of my mind. It was too much of me to ask my family to simply not think, so I left. I know that they worried about me but I chose this for myself. It is my fate to exist alone in this world. I deserve nothing more.

I decided after leaving my family that I needed to search for Victoria. I needed something to avoid the pain that possessed my being. I followed a trail to Texas with no luck of catching her. I wanted so badly to catch Victoria. I needed to destroy something, a way to release my anger. Victoria was a good target for that. She was no direct threat to Bella but she was James' companion and she did try to harm my family. I was never meant to be a tracker. It was not a gift of mine. I followed a false trail to South America. I was frustrated at my inadequacies. Could I do nothing right? I decided to wait a while before searching again. I hide in an old tenement building in a dark attic crawl space. There was just no use in my fruitless efforts to search for Victoria. I couldn't focus on anything. Bella haunted my thoughts. I had been chasing Victoria but really I was running from Forks. I was running from the pain I had caused Bella, the pain that racked my being on the daily basis. She believed so easily that I didn't love her. I think about that part of our goodbye more than anything else. "You're not good for me," it was such a blatant lie. Yet she believed it. Five words had shattered all the trust and love we had built. Maybe she could believe the lie because somewhere deep down she didn't love me. That would be understandable. I was never good enough to deserve her love. I was a monster with no soul. Love was not something I deserved from someone so pure.

Time seems to stand still for my kind. I cannot sleep but I still have nightmares. Vivid images from our goodbye haunt my thoughts daily. The worst days occur when I am foolish enough to allow myself to think of the happiness I once felt. Those were the days that eternity started to take on new lengths. The first time I took her to the meadow, her warmth even the prom. Those are the memories that shatter my marble fa├žade. I may be indestructible on the outside but I am ruined on the inside. If I had a heart it stayed behind in Forks with my true love. There were also the days that I felt the need to truly torture myself. Sick, masochistic lion, I heard Bella's voice echo in my mind. I thought of Bella following my instructions and finding love with someone normal. I always feared Mike Newton would win her over, vile Mike Newton. He wasn't worthy of her love. He didn't deserve to spend a second with her. Jealousy always seemed to rear its ugly head during this part of the torture. I had no right to be jealous. I had left I had told to her to find someone else.

As time passed it was harder to remember why I had left and even harder to remember why I couldn't go back. My thoughts had recently turned to going back and what awaited me there. She could have moved on but just to be in her presence again would heal some of my wounds. Her warmth called to me. I was weakening in my resolve to stay away. I could just go back. The feelings that washed through my body at that thought were so soothing. But I had had promised and I had to hold true to that. I had to do something right. My internal struggle raged to new heights and then my cell phone rang. What on earth did Rosalie want?