Disclaimer: InuYasha is the property of Rumiko Takahashi and if she knew what the fuck I was doing to her characters in this parody she would kick the SHIT out of me!
Days of Gold
Boring Stinking Ass Daytrip Part II
"Auto theft, disorderly conduct, drunk driving, fifth degree assault, attempt to bribe a police officer, …"
The children of the accused glared across the room at their parents as the night court judge read the list of charges leveled against their parents.
"air pollution, littering, attempted kidnapping, …."
'Okay' Kagome thought "so maybe things had gotten a little out of hand. So maybe a case of Sake was a bit much, considering…But it was Kagura the wind breaking sorceress who had left the blue cloud over half of Tokyo. And Koga was the one who had tried to knock out of the cop after she wouldn't accept Miroku's offer of sex to let them out of the speeding ticket….'
"Five counts of Indecent exposure, …."
'Perhaps full frontal flashing that tour bus wasn't such a good idea. Considering that it crashed into a parked blimp…Not that it was MY idea…'
"Causing an accident, leaving the scene of an accident…"
'Shit, just say it, we fucked up. Were just plain fucked now.'
"Considering the circumstances and the ages of the accused…."
"What the fuck's that suppose to mean?" Koga, still drunk off his ass on Sake, whispered
"Koga shut the fuck up or I'll tie your wiener in a knot." Sesshomaru threatened
"You can't, it's too small" he sneered
"Well, guess were all fucked now." Miroku said
"Oh dear." Ayame nodded.
"Shit. Was the mutts idea." Koga grumbled
"You're the one who tried to kidnap that college girl from the sex shop." Kagome smacked the wolf
"You're the one who showed your hoo hoo to half of Tokyo." Koga smacked Kagome back.
"I wasn't the only one." Kagome lowered a gaze at Ayame "Ayame came up with the brilliant idea to flash her wrinkled privates to the tour bus"
"Oh dear" Ayame echoed
Kagome giggled a little "Sango's the one who invited the Three Muscleteers to join in."
"Well, you thought it would be funny Ka-go-me" Sango snickered
"So I did" Kagome laughed behind her hand
"Four" Sesshomaru grumbled "Were four Muscleteers now with Koga."
"All for one!" InuYasha began, thrusting his cane in the air.
"And ONE for all!" the other three finished with a triumphant thrust of their own walking aids.
"Oh Dear." Ayame muttered
"Four finer muscles have never been seen" Kagura said with a wink at Sesshomaru, letting out a tiny squeaker.
"I agree." Kagome nodded
"As do I" Sango smiled dreamily at Miroku.
"Oh dear" Ayame grinned at Koga
"You reckon were all gonna be homeless now?" Miroku asked
"Nah, Floyd and my baby girl are taking care of it." InuYasha nodded his head, a beatific grin on his face as Kagome's hand slipped lower in his lap.
"Just how are they gonna get us out of THIS one?" Sango looked at him wide eyed. Disgusted because her granddaughter once again couldn't be bothered.
"Well, lets leave it at tomorrow there's gonna be an announcement that the home is getting a new building." InuYasha nodded
"Housing a swimming pool" Sesshomaru added on
"Oh dear." Ayame shook her head
"Think they'll try and separate us to different wings?" Sango looked troubled
"Don't see how they can" Kagome smiled "considering we all ran off and had a four way wedding."
"My woman married the wrong fuckin person" Koga grumbled
"Eat me wolfshit" InuYasha sneered at Koga "The best man won"
"You eat at me dog turd"
"You tell em little brother."
"Suck my dick you feather boa eye shadow wearing femme"
"See? Didn't I tell ya Kagura?" Sesshomaru nodded "They all a bunch of Them there homEo Seshuls. They want me Kagura. Gotta protect my goodies around em all the time."
"Oh dear." Ayame shook her head
"AS I WAS SAYING…."The judge interrupted them "taking these things into consideration…" the judge went on "and the adult children of the accused having agreed to pay for all damages to the blimp, the tour bus and the Godzilla statue, the other parties have agreed to drop all charges. This case is dismissed."
Mr. Naraku looked at the completed whammo no tama, swirling with colors of blue, red and purple. He stapled a piece of elastic to it and then stapled the other end to a piece of plywood.
"KUKUKUKUKUKU, screw you, You thought you could stop me! You fools! Now its MINE! ALL MINE! "
Laughing maniacally, he began to bang them against one another.
Mr. Naraku continued to laugh long into the night, playing with his paddleboard
in the darkness of his room.
THE END--Please See Notes Below
This is my last update to Days of Gold ...for a few reasons...The biggest being... I am sick and tired of dumb ass
jerks leaving rude reviews and getting rude e-mails because they don't get the fact
that this is a PARODY. It's just not any fun anymore when I have to take shit over something I started for
laughs. DOG wasnt suppose to be about spelling, punctuation, or being canon. It was a way to blow off
steam. Thanks, Young Kagome, a multiple offender of this kind of shit, for being the final straw with your rude
and condicending review for the last chapter. Just a word, if you think something is stupid, just keep your
mouth shut. I never claimed this to be some great work of literature like Shakespeare or e.e. cummings. It is
what it is, it isn't everyone's cup of tea. Fine. Just shut up if you think its stupid. Saying things like "Very
interesting" is condescending BULLSHIT and the highest level of rudeness, not to mention done ONLY to make
yourself feel superior. So SHUT UP already.
I like sick, slapstick humor in the tradition of "Airplane" and the "Naked Gun" movies. I adore Jim
Carrey and comedians who aren't afraid to do ANYTHING or SAY ANYTHING for a laugh. If that makes me
immature and childish, too fucking bad. DON'T READ MY SHIT!
That being said, I do apprieciate everyone who has loved this and gotten laughs from my immature attempts at
humor. I do have several other humor pieces posted, so please check them out, including the oft missed "Fool
for Love", "EWWWWW!! EWWWWWW!! EWWWWWW!!", "A Lemon So Hot You Could Fry An Egg On
It", and "InuYasha: Oi, This Wench is CRAZY" a compliation of bits and pieces of InuYasha humor.
I am also ending this because I am running thin on the premise, the ideas just arent coming the way they use to,
so that means it's time to close up shop on this one.
Thanks to everyone who has enjoyed Days of Gold! I hope I have given it a somewhat satisfying ending for everyone.