Disclaimer: not mine rating: 18+ mentions sex, naked people.
Pairing: Anastasia Dualla/Lee Adama Notes: Er... between seasons one and two, probably. I tried to make it longer, but it really is mostly just a character study.
Spoilers: Seasons 1-3.

walls crack under pressure
by ALC Punk!

There are moments when they're having sex that Lee looks up at his wife, and wonders again how this incredible, beautiful, sexy woman chose him. And it scares the crap out of him that he'll do something stupid and she'll leave. Oh, she'll still have his ring on her finger, and they'll still host dinner parties (if they did such things), and they'll still work together. But she won't be his. She'll move on from him the way she moved on from Billy.

Someone else will make her smile, someone else will figure out how to stroke her just right until she can't breathe from the pleasure, someone else will catch her in unguarded moments and kiss her in alcoves. Someone else will have the priviledge of waking up next to her and mocking her tangled bedhead.

Then she'll do that thing with her hips that makes his eyes roll up, and he'll forget what he's thinking because she's smirking at him and riding him just that much harder. He usually comes right then, fingers on her hips and eyes wide open watching her watch him.

If he doesn't, she'll bend down and kiss him, lips and tongue playing at his until he's gone.

Anastasia kisses are sweeter post-coitus. They're slower, full of things he's not sure he quite understands. That's when he gets to tangle his hands in her hair, hold her close and feel her heart beat.

That's when he thinks that maybe he should stop being so self-defeatist. That maybe he should do more than just blindly fall into step with his father.

Of course, in the morning, he forgets all of that. In the morning, he's Commander of the Pegasus, and the doubts in the night seem like nothing.

Even as he's kissing his wife breathless, even while he's working his way down her stomach, in the morning, some part of him wonders what he'll do to make her leave. The women in his life don't stay--his mother stopped speaking to him even before Zak's funeral. Laura--well, he lost his faith in her and then she was angry about the black market. And Kara... Dee's the only one who has hung on this long, and he's afraid he'll finally do something to piss her off.

Then he'll be regretting that he didn't tell her there was nothing between them. That he didn't push her away so she'd stay sweet and innocent with Billy Keikaya.

-f