Title: It's My Party
Author: ALC Punk!

Author's Contact Info: ...er, well, this is me. Just comment on the post.
Rating: Er, pretty kid friendly, but I'd go with a PG/PG-13.
Genre: Humor.
Pairings (if any): vague Lee/Kara, Lee/Cally, Tyrol/Boomer, Lee/Roslin. But the kind where you could, like, use a microscope to find.
Summary: It was Cally's birthday, and she could cry if she wanted to, but the President had other ideas.
Notes: This was written at the request of Someone Who Shall Remain Nameless, and with the assistance of talented Alryssa who kept my spirits up, and suggested at least three of the things that are in here. This would have been much shorter without her.

It was Cally that first suggested it.

Starbuck later blamed Roslin, too. But the beginning was Cally. The cute, spritely mechanic had looked so winsome and sad when she'd talked about her birthday.

There were four days in there where she did nothing but normal routine patrols, played cards, mocked Dr. Baltar, and baited Lee. The baiting was always amusing, especially when he'd just come back from seeing the President.

"Like your special meetings, Lee?"

"Frak off, Kara."

On the fifth day, the gracious Madame President graced the Galactica.

She requested a private interview with Starbuck.

"Is there anything you can think of? Something that would boost morale, Lieutenant?"

"Well, I don't know..." And then she was reminded, "Cally wants a sleep over for her birthday. Something girly, she said, to remind us all that we're not just soldiers, but women, too."

The President's mouth tightened, then she nodded, "I can... understand her need." She glanced at the papers in front of her. "I'll see what I can do. Thank you, Lieutenant Thrace."

"Sir."

It's a mark of honor to call the President 'sir'. Kara wondered if she knew that.

Of course, the planning wasn't something she was involved in. Yet, two days later, Kara was again requested by the President. As were Boomer, Cally, Dualla, and a handful of others. Starbuck figured they were the politically-correct grouping, and didn't much care.

"This is going to be fun."

"Hey, Boomer, wanna paint my nails?"

The raptor pilot rolled her eyes, "In your dreams, Starbuck."

But ten minutes later, that was exactly what Boomer was doing. Painting Starbuck's toenails bright pink while Cally did her fingernails in blue. Roslin was nearby, carefully directing things while Dualla prepared for the next victim. Kara could have objected. Probably should have. But Cally looked so... happy.

"Careful not to smear it, honey."

Boomer waved the wand, "Want me to paint your entire foot, Starbuck?"

"Now that could be interesting. Wonder if I can get out of the paperwork the CAG wants me to do with that excuse."

Cally chuckled, "Probably not."

"But I haven't even tried, yet!"

There was general laughter at that.

The evening moved on. More fingernail painting (and Starbuck was coerced into painting Racetrack's toenails), and several bottles of ambrosia later, they had settled down to discuss secrets.

"Truth or dare, Starbuck?"

"Oh, you know me, honey. Dare."

Cally pouted for a moment, then smirked. "I dare you to wear nothing under your flight suit on your next patrol."

"Ooooh, talk about chafing," Boomer mocked. "We gonna have to put cream on your ass when you get back, Starbuck?"

"Honey, you aren't getting anywhere near my ass."

Boomer clapped a hand to her chest, and giggled. "I'm hurt!"

The President smiled, "I believe it's your turn now, Lieutenant Thrace."

"Hrm. So it is..." Kara felt her gaze drawn to Boomer, and she smirked, "So, Boomer. Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

Starbuck smirked more, "Is it true the Chief is smaller than his six-inch screwdriver?"

"No!"

"You sure about that? I've heard some inter-esting rumors."

Boomer snorted, "Only you, Starbuck."

"Got that right, honey."

The game continued until they were all breathless with laughter and ambrosia. Even the President was a little glassy-eyed. Kara nudged her as she went to get a drink. "You ok, sir?"

"Just fine, thank you, Lieutenant."

Starbuck thought about it for a moment, then smiled, "You know, you can call me Starbuck, sir."

"That's all right. I like calling you Lieutenant."

"Mmm. Good to know." Starbuck shot the other women a glance, most of them were busy giggling about something. "Ahem. So. You and Lee, sir?"

The President looked at her, "If you're asking if we're having an affair, Lieutenant, the answer is no."

"Ah. Just checking."

"Truth or dare, Starbuck?"

"Dare, sir."

"I dare you to admit that you're in love with Captain Apollo."

Coldly, cleanly. Kara had to admire her precision. She assayed a cocky smile, "Nothin' to admit, sir."

"Pity, Lieutenant." Roslin looked down at the cup in her hand. "I was hoping for the truth."

"Starbuck!" Boomer was looking at her, eyes glinting. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to go filch the CAG's underpants and put them in the freezer."

Starbuck smirked, "Who's comin' with me?"

The women in the room either giggled or gaped. Racetrack actually said, "I can't believe you have the nerve!"

"Hey, anytime I can put Apollo's panties in a bunch, I'm all for it."

There was more laughter, some of it ribald, and a few insinuations that several of the girls would like Apollo out of his panties. And then Cally stood, "I'll spot you, Starbuck."

"Thanks. You're about the only one I trust not to give me away." Starbuck headed for the hatch. "Shall we?"

It was a silent, but slightly giggly trip to the pilot's quarters. Starbuck peered in and smirked to find them empty, for the time being, then stepped in and headed for Apollo's locker. She'd succeeded in grabbing every pair he had when Cally hissed from the corridor, then said in loud, cheerful tones, "Evenin', Captain."

"Hey, Cally."

Starbuck thought fast, and turned to face the hatchway just as he entered. "Hey, Lee."

"Kara." He looked between the two of them. "There something going on I should know about?"

"No, sir."

"Mhmm."

Kara smirked at him, "Just celebratin' Cally's birthday, Lee."

With a smile, he turned to the younger woman, "Well, happy birthday, Cally."

"Thanks, sir."

Starbuck took advantage and stepped past him, and out into the corridor, "We really should get back to our party, Lee. Nice seein' you."

"Okay."

"He sounded confused," Cally observed as they headed back to the party.

"Lee's always confused, Cally. It's his natural state of mind."

The young engineer giggled.

Once back in the room, Starbuck produced the underwear and laid it on the table. "Ladies, if you'd like to sign the CAG's panties, just to let him know who's had them..."

There were several scuffles, and then pens produced. And a round of signing occurred. Starbuck abstained, along with the President. Then the garments were returned to Starbuck, and she smirked, "Who'd like to accompany me to the freezer?"

Several of them went to watch her do the deed. She left them prominently displayed in the freezer the aft-side used for storage, and then began trooping back.

Along the way, they met the CAG. Dressed in nothing but a towel and looking, almost, agitated. "Kara."

"Lee! Nice to see you. How's the showers?"

"Kara." Oooh, a warning tone.

"Yes, Lee?"

"Give them back."

"I have no idea--"

"Kara!"

The women were giggling madly, even Cally. It was all Starbuck could do not to burst out laughing herself. "Seriously, Lee. You wanna strip-search me for whatever I'm supposed to have?"

He sighed, apparently realizing that she wouldn't offer if she still had them. "Where are they, Kara?"

"In a cold place, Lee."

"You'll pay for this, Lieutenant."

She patted him on the shoulder, "Sure, Lee. Sure. C'mon, ladies, we have a party to return to."

Their return was heralded with thrown pillows, and a ten-minute pillow-fight that left them all spread on the floor, laughing insanely.

Starbuck was actually surprised to find she was enjoying herself.

Eventually, the night was winding down, moving closer to dawn when the women began slowly drifting back to their assigned quarters. Until the only three left were Starbuck, Cally, and the President.

Cally yawned and bowed, "Thanks, sir."

"You're welcome, Specialist."

Starbuck slung an arm around the girl's shoulders. "C'mon, I'll walk you home."

"Thanks, Starbuck."

They said their goodnights to the President, and left.

Starbuck wondered how long she'd have to wait for Apollo's revenge. Probably not long enough.

-f-