Summery: Has Bombalurina always been the pretty, hot, totally snazzy queen that all the toms adore? Of course not! As an adolescent she was just a nerd as the ones at your school! It was only through the help of some, um, very interesting cats that she was able to attract the attention of her crush. And this is that story. No. Not the story of how those interesting cats. Of Bombalurina silly! Who cares about those other weirdoes!

Disclaimer: Do I look like I could write something so fabulous that it would have a character like Bombalurina in it? I don't? How insulting! But this T.S. Elliot and Andrew Lloyd Webber's masterpiece so I'll just let it be.

Supposed to be humorous, tell me if it isn't. Please!


It was a hot day. No, it was a very hot day. No, it was a really hot day. And everyone knows what happens when it is hot in the junkyard. At least, everyone should know. When you live in a junkyard and it gets really hot out you take cover. At least if you are sane.

And so that is how the entire junkyard was clear of a living soul, all were taking cover in their dens, trying to escape the heat.

That is, all except one cat.

Bombalurina leaned back and bathed herself in the sweltering heat of the sun. Somehow, the queen had found a way to sit on the roof of a car and not get burned. It was in this position, with her left leg twisted underneath her and her right stretched out in a strange but comfortable angel and her back almost touching the car roof, that Bombalurina did her most philosophical thinking.

Why does nobody like me? The queen thought to herself as she looked out on the empty clearing. I'm not that bad looking am I?

What Bombalurina failed to realize is that she was as a matter of fact, fairly bad looking. Her ragged fur was haphazardly cut pell-mell, as if someone had been in a hurry while cutting it. Nails that needed to be trimmed badly scratched the car roof. Her height didn't help either, she was taller than most of the toms.

And the young, adolescent queen's lack of friends did not just stretch to her looks, but the way she held herself as well. Any of the grace that the red queen was supposed to have because she was a cat was hidden when she would trip over her tail. So far the only friend she had been able to make in the tribe was Demeter.

Surprisingly, Demeter was the prettiest queen in the tribe, and the two were best friends. No one is really sure how it happened. How the prettiest and most popular queen became best friends with the ugliest and weirdest queen in the tribe. Mostly because of that friendship was Bombalurina not harassed by the toms and other queens.

"Bomba!" a voice rang out across the clearing. Bomba, startled, jumped to her feet and looked for the source of the voice. Without finding it she looked down and found herself staring at the blonde face of her best friend.

"Oh. Hi Dem." Bomba said sliding down off the car. "What do you want?"

"I was looking for you." Demeter said, stating the obvious, "It's way to hot out here for someone to be outside." Yet again Bomba thought about Demeter's gift at stating the obvious with humor.

"Yes it is. I was just thinking. You know, it's easier when there's nobody near by."

A sly look crossed Demeter's face.

"Were you thinking about You-know-who?" she asked teasingly.

"Demeter!" The taller queen said in mock hurt, "Do you think that is all I think about?"

"Yes!" the smaller queen said bursting out in laughter.

"Well… for your information it's not!" Bomba said trying to end the matter. Looking around to make sure nobody was there she leaned in closer and whispered, "Any news about our man?"

"Tugger still doesn't like you." Demeter sighed. Sure, Bomba was her best friend, but now this crush was just getting pretty annoying.

"Bast." Bombalurina cursed. "Why won't he like me?"

"Because he thinks- opps! Never mind!" Demeter cut herself off before she got any farther.

"He thinks what. Tell me Demeter or I'll never speak to you again." Bombalurina took her friend's shoulders and shook her roughly.

"Oh fine. But Bombalurina, if this hurts I'm so sorry. He says he doesn't like you because-"


A/N: Hope you like it. I thought of this while I was in the place where I do my most philosophical thoughts, in the shower. I thought it would be pretty funny.

You should find out why Tugger doesn't' like her soon! Promise!