Category: H/M Romance Rating?
Summary: Part 3 of the "Perfection" Series Spoilers: Picks up with 9th season relationship.
Author Note: Well, you asked so you will receive :)
From "Absolutely Perfect":
A soft sigh of pure happiness escapes my lips as he wraps his arms around me. "My birthday just became a whole lot better." I smile and relax as his warm and strength encompass me in a protective cocoon.
"It's not over yet, Mac. See, I'm hoping to continue this little celebration tomorrow after we talk everything out. How does dinner and dancing sound?"
"Perfect. Absolutely perfect." I murmur happily as my eye lids become heavy. Not sleeping well for months, all the crying I did earlier, and having him so close all combine to draw me into a peaceful slumber.
The sunlight begins to pour into the room, lighting the backs of my eyelids. I want to stay in this redness; I'm too scared that the red is a sign…That Harm either was never here to begin with or he's already gone. I tentatively open my eyes and relief washes over me when I find myself staring into those beautiful crystal blue-green eyes of his. He's just…staring at me and it causes me to become a bit self-conscious. "What?" I smile shyly.
"You're even more beautiful when you're asleep." He brushes a strand of my hair back with a tenderness that almost causes me to cry. "How'd you sleep?"
"Better than I have in…well…ever." I admit softly and he grins. "You?"
A soft smile slowly spreads across my face and I sit up, stretching slightly.
"Are you hungry, Ninja Girl?" He tucks my hair behind my ear and as if on cue, my stomach growls loudly causing him to chuckle. "I take it that's a yes?"
I blush faintly and nod.
"Do you have any groceries in the kitchen? I can make you something."
I smile at the little sparkle that graces his eyes. "Cereal is fine, Harm. I'm not as hard to please as you think I am."
He nods slightly. "So…I guess it's time for that conversation."
"We can't keep putting it off, Harm. All the little snowballs that we've thrown over the years have already turned into an avalanche. And I don't want us to get buried under the cold." I wait until he nods in agreement. "So, where do we start?"
Harm shrugs slightly. "Well, we discussed a lot that night on the porch so…do you want to start from that night?"
I nod. "That works for me." I sit up and brace myself for the conversation.
"Why did you still plan on marrying him?"
I sigh very softly. "Harm, you'd kissed me before. And while you'd never kissed me quite like that, I didn't think it meant you wanted a future with me. You had a girlfriend and it was my engagement party. You gave no indication of ending things with Renee…and I thought that I owed it to him. And you have always had a problem with letting go. So, I didn't know if the kiss had more to do with that than me.
He nods slightly. "Well, if you 'owed it to him' then why did you end up not marrying the guy?"
"When you…when you went down that night, I realized just how much I loved you. And he realized it to. I started picturing my life without you and it just…I couldn't have lived like that. And then when I was able to find you…it was a sign, Harm."
"That was quite impressive. I wouldn't have lasted much longer out there." He shivers as images flood his memories.
"Then you couldn't even remember Renee, but you remembered me and I…that meant a lot to me."
"I could never forget you, Marine. Trust me, I've tried."
"And trust me, I know that feeling too."
"So, you let him go. But then you ran away from me."
"Alot had happened, Harm. I was confused and you...have this power over me. It's scary and I just had to get away from you so that I could figure out what I was feeling. And...it hurt to see you hold her." I whisper the last part.
"I said yes."
"What?" I look up, confusion evident in my eyes.
"You asked if I'd leave Renee for you but you left before you heard my answer. I said yes."
"I was afraid it would be no." I murmur softly.
He nods slightly.
"Why did you stay away so long?"
"Well, after you left, I thought that maybe you changed your mind and it was just because you were hurt that you came to me."
I nod. "Why didn't you tell me about the break up with Renee?"
"I didn't want you tho think that you were my second choice. You were why she left...why I didn't fight to keep her...and why it didn't consider the break up to be a loss."
I nod again.
"So, what else?"
I think for a few minutes before replying, "Singer."
"Yeah...look, I know that I didn't tell you and I'm sorry, but..."
"It's okay, Harm. It was none of my business."
"Why didn't you come see me?"
"We were ordered not to. And yes, I could've said 'screw you' to the Admiral and came to you anyway, but I was afraid of hurting your case. I didn't want them to be able to use me against you."
"It hurt, Mac." He whispers. "See you...it would've made everything easier. Every morning, I'd wake up hoping that you'd show up. But you never did."
"I missed you. And it took every bit of my strength not to come break you out of there."
"You would've ended up in the cell with me." He chuckles. "And not for a conjugal visit."
I laugh softly. "Yeah."
"When I got out, I was so alone and missed you so much. And you came. When I saw you on the other side of the door...I can't even explain it. Then you told me you were leaving and it was dangerous. You were being taken from me right after I got you back. And it was with WEBB. His missions never go as planned. And I wasn't even going to be there to be able to watch your back. And I know you're a Marine, but that doesn't mean you don't need backup."
"We would've been okay if I hadn't have gone after Gunny."
"You would've been okay if Webb wouldn't have asked you to go to begin with."
"And then the stinger missiles..."
"I don't care, Mac. You mean more than everything else in the world combined."
//Wow.// My eyes mist over.
"I kept having nightmares about you being hurt. I couldn't sleep at all. I just...everything felt so wrong. And then we found out that you were missing and my world crumbled. All I would think was that I had to get to you no matter what it took. I can't live without you, Ninja Girl."
"You don't have to. Thanks to you, I'm okay."
He nods. "I owe Webb, I guess. I mean, he got you into it, but he kept you relatively safe until I could get you out of there. I just kept thinking...if I'd been a little bit later..."
"Shh...it's okay. You got there and they didn't hurt me. So let's not think about the what ifs."
"...Then I saw how close you two had gotten and I got jealous and..."
"And you started acting like a jerk."
He smiles faintly. "Yeah well...I'm sorry for everything I said."
"I am too, Harm."
"I know we tried this once, but what do you say in starting at the beginning again? And this time we don't wait two years to make another step?"
I smile. "I say that it's the best birthday gift I could ever get."
He pulls me into his arms. "I think that you and I just had an adult conversation about our feelings."
I laugh very softly. "I'll alert the media." I pull back slightly. "What about the CIA?"
He considers for a moment before meeting my eyes. "I'll find something else. I want us to work, Mac. So anything that'll come between us has to go."
"I don't want you to lose another job because of me."
"Listen to me, Sarah. It was not your fault. If the Admiral would've let me go, I wouldn't have resigned. Not to mention the fact that it wasn't as if you wanted to be a prisoner. And you didn't ask me to do it so don't blame yourself. I want to see you as much as possible and to have a family. The CIA isn't conducive to such things." He smiles, tucking my hair behind my ear.
I return the smile. "A family, huh?"
"Of course. But, I do think that we should take this all one step at a time. That said, I'm going to state my intentions. I'm planning on dating you...marrying you...having a ton of kids with you and then growing old with you. And as much as I'd love for that all to happen right now...well except the being old thing...I think we'd be better off if we took this relatively slow."
I decide to ignore the 'ton of kids' part. "You're right. Going from here to marriage so quickly would be a mistake. But, we definitely need to take this a faster pace then we have been."
"Of course." He grins. "I can't promise you perfection, but I can promise that I'll love you until the day I die."
"Then that's perfect enough for me." I sigh happily as I snuggle into his arms. Maybe birthdays aren't so bad after all.