Disclaimer: I don't own Herbal Essences, or Vincent Valentine (as much as I'd KILL to).

Summary: Vincent Valentine has an experiance with Herbal Essence shampoo...I admit that this is extremely random, but I figured it'd be humorous.


Vincent walked into his hotel room. It had been a long day working with Avalanche, and they had all stopped at a hotel room to rest since they weren't near Kalm. Vincent was tired, hot, and sweaty after a long day of groundwork. He closed the door to his hotel room, walking to the bed. He plopped his large frame onto the soft cushions, sighing. There were mints on the pillows along with a crimson rose, the lamps were dimly lighting the room, and the bathroom door was wide open. Vincent could see the porcelain white, clean floors, and part of the sink. It looked refreshing, and that was something he could really go for at the moment. He stood up, starting to unbuckle his big red cape. It was damp with his perspiration. He threw it onto a chair that was in the corner of the room. The cool air in the room was soothing onto the skin that had been newly revealed.

Vincent touched the red headband wrapped around his head, and it was moist with his sweat. He reached to the back of his head, and started untying the red cloth. It winded around his hair, and he pulled it free from his head. His black hair fell over his eyes. He walked into the bathroom, and closed the door tightly.

Vincent pulled off his armor, and slid off his black shirt. The gauntlet on his left hand was a bother to him whenever he wanted to take showers. It was really annoying to try to wash his hair with the pointed shiny metal getting tangled into his hair. The bright lights above the sink hurt Vincent's eyes; he wasn't used to such bright, vibrant light. The whole bathroom looked completely sterile; clean towels, handwash, and white. That made it look ever cleaner. All Vincent wanted to do was take a shower, and go to bed. He was tired.

He turned, and caught his reflection in the shiny mirror. Sometimes he didn't like looking at himself. He thought he needed some revitalizing. It was odd looking at his pale flesh; it was never exposed this much. Then again, this was privacy. He turned away from the mirror, and slid his boots off. He unbuckled his pants, sliding them down his muscular yet defined thighs. (I love his thighs). Before throwing them aside, he pulled out Cerberus from his gunpouch. He set it down gently on the sink, and threw his pants aside near the shower door. He walked to the shower, pulling the door open before pulling off his boxers. He closed the glass door carefully, and sighed in tiredness.

On the imbedded shelf of the shower, he saw a different brand of colorful shampoo and conditioner. The company was 'Herbal Essence', and the type was called 'Dangerously Straight'. The bottle was pink, with a bunch of 'this shampoo will make your life better' crap on it. Vincent sighed, looking around to see if there was other shampoo. None. Only a bottle of bodywash and a white handcloth. Nothing manly. Nothing dark. Nothing evil to match his will. He sighed, turning on the water on warm. He turned it more onto cold to sooth his skin. He sighed with relief as the coldness ran down his skin. The water fell down his face as he soaked his long, beautiful black hair under it. He reluctantly grabbed the herbal essence shampoo, popping the cap open. The smell was invigorating, and filled the whole space with fragrance. It was soothing to his sense of smell. He poured the shampoo onto his hair, and began to scrub.

Something was different. Something he didn't expect was taking place. It was...pleasing. The smell, the feel, the overall tingling he felt on his head was erotic. It brought something out in Vincent he never thought was there. Was it magical? He had the urge to scream. He closed his eyes, reveling in the shampoo.

"Yes..." he said under his breath. The whole shower filled with the fragrance of flowers, something new to him. He felt so good. "Yes," he said a little louder as he rubbed his hair with the fluffy shampoo suds. It was unlike anything he had ever felt before.

"Yes!" he screamed. His voice echoed back to him quickly in the small space. He couldn't hold himself back anymore.

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! YES!!" he hollered as the scent captivated him, the overall feeling just sending him to the clouds. Was the shampoo really strong enough to have that kind of effect on anyone? Or was Vincent just suseptible to anything? Neither thought crossed his mind, he just enjoyed the pleasuring essence of the shampoo. His hair felt soapy and his hands were tired. But he didn't want to stop!

Well, there was always the conditioner...


Vincent was out of the shower, drying himself off. The light shining in from the window had faded into the nighttime, and he had opened the window to get a view of the stars. Just then, there was a knock on his door. "Vincent? It's Cloud," said Cloud from the other side of the wooden door.

"...Come in," Vincent said. Cloud Strife opened the door, sticking his blond haired head inside.

"Is there someone else in here? I heard you screaming yes earlier, and I was wondering-"

"..There's no one else in here."

"Well, why did I hear you screaming 'yes' over and over again?"

"Nothing." Cloud raised his eyebrow. Vincent was hardly ever evasive. Cloud knew something was up, but he didn't feel like lecturing him about it. Tifa was waiting for him in their hotel room.

"Okay..." he said, sliding his head away from the door, and closing it.

Vincent smiled to himself, taking a lock of his hair and sniffing it for the tenth time.