((A/N: I finally got around to writing a sequal to You Could Call It Love, But You'd Be Lying, and I'm happy to say that the title's not as long!! the dedication's at the end.))
Some Call It Sorrow
"I loved you." I whispered, your cold body lying limp in my arms.
"I loved you so damn much."
'Why here, why now?' I wanted to scream, but I knew better. You were in love with Haru. I'd heard you many nights, making love as if you were lovers. I remember the day I'd worked up the courage to ask the ox what was going on. He had smiled at me, taking my hand in his and kissing it gently.
"It's nothing." He'd whispered. "He could never compete with my love for you."
He thought I was in love with him.
I didn't ask anymore, staying as far away as possible.
You were in love with the ox, I could see it in your eyes, but Haru was in love with me, and I was the only one that could see the truth.
We were all completely and totally screwed.
One day, you stopped eating.
You wouldn't come to dinner, or even leave your room unless Haru came over. Tohru would always leave your meal in the refrigerator, never noticing that it wasn't eaten, only buried deep inside the trash.
I'm not sure you realized that I knew everything, I'm not sure you realized that I cared.
I pretended not to, of course, trying to ignore how sickly you were and how infected your wrists must have been beneath your stained bandages. I'd even stopped asking Haru to help you, after the ox refused for the billionth time, reassuring me that you were okay.
"He's not okay!"
I'd screamed, barely refraining from slapping him. My fists shook, my teeth clenched, and tears burned my eyes, but I'd kept it all inside. 'He loves you.' I told myself. I didn't want to watch him die, even if I didn't love him in return.
Nobody deserves to die because of unrequited love. Not you, not Haru, not even myself.
But I guess you didn't agree.
I'd untied you more than an hour ago, cradling your body as though you were still alive.
You were smiling, I remember, you were smiling and I couldn't understand why.
But now, as I stand inside your empty room, stipped of everything that once belonged to you, I think I can begin to.
As I bring the gun to my head, one that I'd found by chance in Shigure's office weeks ago, I think I can feel myself smiling too. Unlike you, I leave a note. I feel the need to explain why, since you had never given me the satisfaction of knowing.
It reads only three simple words, and only the ox will understand their exact meaning. I'd made sure of that.
My finger pulls the trigger, and my life flashes before my eyes.
..and then there's silence.
I hope the blood won't stain my note, or make my message unreadable.
'He wasn't okay'
It reads in large, black latters.
'He wasn't okay'
and neither am I.
((A/N: my mind went completely blank on the ending.
I sure hope it's okay!!!
dedicated to flyingdaggers.))