The Death Eaters walked into the throne room for the meeting only to see Voldemort on his throne playing with some contraption. Most of the Death Eaters were pureblooded inbred freaks, so only Snape (whose father was a Muggle) knew what the contraption was.

"Um, my lord," Malfoy asked, "What exactly is that?"

"It's called a cell phone. Quite an ingenious contraption, even if it is made by Muggles. Potter sent it to me for my birthday, which by the way, you all missed. CRUCIO!"

And after a mass round of all around the circle torture time, Voldemort decided to put his contraption away and begin the meeting.

"That will teach you all not to miss my birthday again. I swear! The only gift I get was from my arch-enemy!" This authoress isn't even going to go into how lame it is to have a seventeen year old kid as you're arch-enemy just cause he kicked your ass when he was one. But anyway, back to the story.

Before Voldemort could continue, his new cell phone demanded his attention. How, you ask? Like this:

"Na! Na! Na! Na! Na! I've got a text and you can't see it!" Voldemort checked the cell phone to see a text message from Harry Potter.

"Yes I did this during a DE meeting on purpose." Voldemort's eye twitched a little. He put the cell phone away again, and was just about to speak, when it went off again. But not in the same way. No, this time, it went off like this:

"Don't Answer It! Don't! Don't Answer It! Don't! Don't Answer It!" Voldemort didn't listen. He answered it.

"YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO ANSWER DUMBASS!" Harry Potter's voice screamed on the other line, before he hung up. Voldemort's eye twitched some more.


A one-shot based on all those ringtone ads fanfiction keeps showing. I couldn't get this out of my head. After having a dream about it, I decided to write it down.