A low grumble escaped Zoisite's throat as she made her way down a dark, stony corridor. It seemed that everything was dark and stony here. Dark stony walls. Dark stony floors. It just wasn't healthy! And talk about a horrible sense of decor. She grimaced as a green youma passed by in a yellow colored bra with matching loin cloth.

And fashion...

Shuddering, she bit lightly at her thumb. The sooner she found the queen, the sooner she could leave this monstrosity behind and go home. She could be sleeping or doing some other unproductive and all around useless activity. But nooooo. She'd had to walk miles and fucking miles through sleet, rain, and snow with no food or shelter and for what? To get caught up in this freak show? She didn't know what this "queen" had summoned her for, but it had better be worth it.

"What's your problem?"

Snapping out of her daze, Zoisite looked up to see the disaster in yellow staring at her. She let her fists unclench and her facial features soften. "Excuse me?" she asked, her voice wavering slightly.

The youma seemed to sense her anger and took a step back. "You look like you've had a run in with Metallica herself."

And you look like you've had a run in with a pack of mustard.

"Metallica?" she asked instead.

The girl raised an eyebrow. "You know. The Great One. The reason for our existence and the existence of the Dark Kingdom in a whole?"

So that's the tasteless idiot who thought you up.

"How terribly fascinating." Zoisite didn't sound very terribly fascinated at all. "Is this... Metallica your queen?"

The youma's eyes widened. "You're not from around here, are you?"


Zoisite was starting to get really pissed off. She considered just attacking the girl, but there was still that tiny little matter of being lost and she needed to take care of it.

"No," she answered quickly. "Is she your queen?"

The youma just stared at her. Zoisite's teeth grinded together.

Anger, bad. Patience, good.

"Something wrong?" she spoke through gritted teeth.

The youma crossed her arms. "What business do you have with Queen Beryl?"

Zoisite's eyes lit up. "So that's her name then?" She smiled. "Well then, I'll just be needing to know where she is." Her friendly expression dropped. "Where is she?"

The girl sneered, her features hardening. "What's it to ya?"

Zoisite rolled her eyes. That was about all she could take. Holding her palm straight out, she let her energy flow through her arm, sending the girl flying back into one of those dark, stony walls. She finally let the smirk slip across her lips as she advanced on the youma, whose tough demeanor had now fallen to reveal wide, scared eyes.


"Where did you say she was?"

The youma leapt to her feet, her back still pressed firmly against the walls. "I-I'll show you the way." Trembling, she dodged past Zoisite, as if fearing another attack, and started down the shadowy halls. "F- follow me!"

Zoisite scoffed as she lowered her arms and folded them behind her back. "How considerate of you..."

After several more twists and turns through the dimly lit tunnels of the Dark Kingdom, they had finally reached the throne room entrance.

"She's in there." The youma pointed nervously toward the large opening.

"Thanks." Zoisite peeked in. She couldn't see much with the exception of the usual darkness and stoniness, but there did seem to be a faint purple glow pulsing through out the room. Her nerves began to stiffen and she turned to the youma. "You're not going in?"

"Are you kidding?"

Zoisite bit her lower lip. She supposed that meant "no"... And she could understand why. Beryl's lair wasn't exactly the Sugarplum Castle...

"Fine." She shook her fear off and stomped into the room, her eyes raging with an emerald fire. Stupid, good for nothing, too-lazy-for-a-purpose youma... Her string of insults stopped abruptly upon her entrance. There was nothing particularly special about the large area what with its pitch black interior, but what drew her attention lay dead center in the middle of the room. There upon smooth ice-like grounds sat a throne in which a woman with long crimson hair rested. Her pale spidery fingers flailed rapidly about a strange crystal ball.

"Yeeeesssssss." she hissed hungrily. "Yessssssssss!"

Zoisite cocked an eyebrow. The girls back home were right. They were weird here.

"Um…" she cleared her throat. "Ahem!"

The woman continued to gaze into her crystal ball, her blood red eyes fierce with greed. From the way she was hissing and moaning, you'd think she was having an orgasm. It was sickening. In fact, it was so sickening that Zoisite was beginning to get upset. Ignoring the fearful looks of a few youma, she neared the throne. "Excuse me, your majesty!"

The queen took no notice of this interference. Instead, she just leaned in closer to the ball.

"Hey!" Zoisite started straight for her. How dare she ignore her! How dare she ignore her when she'd just went through fucking hell to get here just to discover that it wasn't much better. Actually, she preferred the snow… When she'd finally reached the queen's chair, she pulled a piece of paper from her coat pocket and tossed it straight into the woman's lap.

The queen froze for a moment as did all of the youma behind her. Zoisite folded her arms across her chest anxiously. "Well?"

The queen's fingers slowly folded around the parchment in her lap. Using her long, red nails, she pried it open and narrowed her eyes to scan its contents. While she read, the room was completely silent with the exception of Zoisite's shoe tapping impatiently against the hard stone. When she was finally done (She thought she'd never finish), her cold, irritated eyes rose to meet Zoisite's. "What is this?"

Zoisite blinked, caught completely off guard. But as always, her confusion quickly transformed into anger. "What is that?!" she started, her figure trembling. "What is that?! I walked miles and miles because of that! That's the reason that I haven't slept in three days! You better have a good explanation for… that!"

The queen's ruthless expression fell away to sudden rage. "How dare you speak to me like that?! I am the Queen of the entire Dark Kingdom!"

Zoisite sneered. "I wouldn't brag about that if I were you."

"WHAT-" The queen cut off in mid-sentence and a slow smile began to curve over her lips, so wicked it made Zoisite flinch.

"Wh-why're you looking at me like that?"

The woman's eyes slowly lowered to the parchment. "Zoisite, I presume?"

Zoisite rolled her eyes. "Isn't that what is says?"

The queen ignored this retort and turned back to her crystal ball. "Ah, yes. I sent for you a month ago." She raised her eyes back to meet Zoisite's. "What took you so long?"

Zoisite stared at the woman in disbelief. A girl had things to do! The Queen was lucky. She wouldn't have come at all if her foster mother hadn't convinced her to take some time away from home. Of course the woman could have just been trying to get rid of her… People frequently did that and Zoisite never really understood why.

"I'm here now, aren't I?" she seethed, her temper flaring.

Oh right. That was why…

"Zoisite." The woman stared daggers at her and she returned the glare. "This is my kingdom and you will respect me."

Zoisite scoffed.

"Remember, you are but a guest here."

"Unfortunately." Zoisite scanned the dark, stony walls. "You have horrible taste. You know that?"

There was an awkward silence and she could almost feel the queen's anger rising. She bit her lip to keep from grinning. "So why-"

"I called you here, Zoisite, because I have a job for you."

Zoisite frowned. What am I? A general in your army?

"I want you to be a general in my army."

Zoisite stared at her for a few moments. Then covering her lips, she started to laugh long and hard. Finally, without another word, she turned on her heel and started for the exit.


The smile still covering her lips, she turned around. "Yeah?"

The woman's face showed no mirth. "You will stay in the Dark Kingdom and join my army. It is destined-"

"My destiny is none of your concern." Zoisite interrupted, the former irritation taking hold of her. "I'm honored, but I'm sure that you and your little "army" will be fine without me." She started walking again. "I saw two of them fighting earlier and they didn't look like they needed any help." One of them didn't anyway… "So I'll just be on my w- WHOA!" she cried as a black force field blocked her path, its surface crackling with dark energy.

The queen's cold voice cut through the sudden silence. "You don't understand, Zoisite. I've been planning this for a very long time."

Zoisite's expression went from amused to murderous. She spun around. "You're really starting to piss me off."

The queen frowned. "You do not want to upset me, Zoisite."

Zoisite gave a high pitched laughed, though she was beginning to get a bit nervous. "And what are you gonna do? Tell my future?"

One side of the woman's lips curved upward. "Something like that."

With that, the throne room was drowned in a scarlet glow. And that was the the last thing she remembered.

Tortured cries of youma echoed throughout the passage and found there way into the dark cell where Zoisite was huddled, clutching her knees to her chest. She winced at the sound, hoping that that wouldn't be her in a few moments.

Aw man…

How did she get herself into this one?

And more importantly, how was she going to get out of it?

She'd never done anything to… Okay, that wasn't even worth finishing. But she was too pretty to deserve this! Besides, she'd never killed anyone… on purpose. And she'd only tormented the other kids in the foster home because they were so damn easy to pick on. Those loveable morons… She never really meant to hurt them... too much.

Only the good die young, her foster mother had told her as a child. Zoisite didn't think she'd ever been very good. In fact, she'd made a lifestyle out of being very, very naughty. Yet she was the one who'd been knocked out, tied up, and thrown in a cell, given nothing but a T shirt to wear until the queen of bizarre felt like letting her out. If she ever let her out…

Frustrated, she slammed her fist against one of the stony walls and let out an exasperated cry.

"HEY!" A familiar male voice called from the neighboring cell. "SHUT THE HELL UP OVER THERE!"

Zoisite growled. "Why don't you come over here and MAKE ME?!"


Zoisite's swallowed hard when she realized that the voice wasn't coming from inside the cells at all but rather from the outside. And that meant he could let her out of here! A tall, dark figure appeared and her eyes widened in recognition. "Oh, I know you! You're that clumsy idiot who got his ass beat earlier!"

The man's blue eyes narrowed in anger. "What?"

"I mean-" She inwardly slapped herself. She'd just never got the hang of that thinking before you speak thing… "Can you let me out of here?"

Nephrite didn't answer. Instead, he stepped forward, his eyes squinting to get a better look at her. "Are you…"

Zoisite raised an eyebrow.

"… a youma?"

Her insides flamed with anger. "Of course, I'm not a youma, you dolt. How dare you even suggest such a thing?! Do I look like a youma to you?!"

Nephrite seemed surprised and a little disappointed at her sudden outburst, but he quickly recovered, his expression growing stern.

"I am the second general of Queen Beryl's army and I will not tolerate such behavior!" he growled.

"OoooOOOooOOOoooh!" Zoisite gasped in mock terror. "Smite me." She slapped a hand to her forehead. Nice going, Zoi. Now he would never let her out.

"Just who are you?!" he demanded.

"I'll tell you if you let me out." She flashed him a sugary sweet smile and he blinked in amusement.

Works every time.

He reached for the bars and she was certain that he would release her. That is until his fingers reached a small, yellow sheet of parchment. "Zoisite." He read. "Placed in confinement for disobedience to the queen." He raised his eyebrows at her as if impressed, a slow smirk slipping across his lips.

"What?!" Zoisite's fingernails tore into the material of her white T shirt. "Lies! I was trying to go home! That bitch kidnapped me!"

He gasped. "No one talks about the queen that way!"

Zoisite groaned. "That bitch is no queen of mine!"

"Silence!" Nephrite commanded, pressing against the bars so that she could see the threat in his eyes. "The queen will sense your anger."

"Sense this!" Zoisite flipped the bird.

At that, Nephrite simply backed away, his eyes solemn, and turned around.

"N-no!" Zoisite called, her eyes wide. By George, she'd done it again. "Wait! I was just kidding! It was a joke!" She gave a nervous laugh. "Just a joke. Get it?!"

Nephrite paid no attention and disappeared out of sight.

"WAIT!" Zoisite cried, hysterical now. "COME BACK HERE! YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME LIKE THIS! NEPH-"


"Phrite… DAMMIT!" She kicked at a stone wall and ended up doing more damage to her foot than anything.

Three hours later…

Zoisite sobbed incessantly in her corner. It just wasn't fair! She couldn't help it if her temper got a little out of hand sometimes. She couldn't help it if everyone else was so damn stupid.

A small thud echoed throughout the corridors and her sobs immediately ceased. Standing up, she walked across the room and to the bars. Staring out, she saw nothing but darkness. "Hello?" she called. "Is someone there?"



Eventually the footsteps became louder. She smirked. Someone was coming. Inhaling slowly, she closed her eyes. Gotta be nice. Gotta be nice.

She smiled sweetly as a young, blonde boy approached her cell. "Hi!"

He gave her a strange look. Probably awed by her unnatural beauty.

"Do I know you from somewhere?"

Her eyebrows furrowed. He was either serious or using a very bad, recycled pick up line… And if "somewhere" meant anywhere in the Dark Kingdom, she sincerely doubted it.

"I don't think so. Look." She ran her fingers along the bars. "Do you think you can take care of these for me?"

He seemed confused. "Huh?"

She rolled her eyes. "Can you let me out of here?"

"I could've sworn I've seen you somewhere before…"

Zoisite kept her mouth shut to avoid the string of cynical comments that was streaming through her mind. She watched as he examined the bars. "What're you in for?"

She smiled, relieved to have a story this time. "A youma was locked in here. He tricked me into letting him out." She pointed toward the bars. "He took the notice with him." She smirked. That idiot Nephrite had actually taken the parchment. At least he was good for something other than a laugh…

"Oh." The boy nodded, his blonde curls falling over his eyes. "That's understandable." Zoisite smiled back. He was such an adorable idiot that she almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

"But I swear…"

Oh, God.

"I've seen you somewhere."

Shut up.

A circle of dark energy began to grow in his palm. "I just can't quite put my finger on it…"

She smiled like an idiot. Just shut up before you embarrass yourself any further.

Her smile grew wider as he placed his palm upon the keyhole and something cracked. The barred door instantly began to swing on its hinges. She sighed in relief.

"Thank you, um…"

"Jadeite." He raised a hand to take hers. "I'm the third general in the queen's army." He smiled charmingly.

Zoisite smiled back. She figured that the whole I've-Seen-You-Somewhere- Before thing was just an act.

"I'm Zoisite." She slowly pulled her hand away. "Thank you for your kindness, Jadeite, but I really have to be-"


She immediately turned back to him. The warmth in his expression had faded.

"Zoisite?!" He pointed accusingly at her. "I remember you!"

She swallowed hard. "Er… fondly, I hope…"

"From the orphanage! You used to steal my lunch everyday!"

"Erm…" She scratched at her coppery bangs. "Maybe I should be leaving." She started for the exit, but he blocked her, his blue eyes raging.

"You laughed at me and called me names!"

Nervous laughter rose in her throat. She'd laughed at a lot of people and called them names. It was nothing personal…

"Don't tell me you don't remember!"

Zoisite bit at her pinky finger. Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Blonde hair. Blue eyes.

"P… p-" Jadeite started, his eyes lowering. "P…"

"Hm?" Zoisite leaned in.

"P. Wedgie."

Zoisite blinked for a second before rearing back in laughter. How could she forget?! "Now I remember!" she squealed with glee. "You were the fat kid!"

Jadeite was not amused.

"And everyday I'd stuffed those fries down your shorts!" She clapped her hands together. "And then! And then I'd-"

"Give me a wedgie."

Zoisite howled with laughter, her sides nearly splitting. "That was the best part!" she cackled. "Wasn't that… wasn't that…" She looked up at Jadeite's hardened expression. Apparently, that was not, in any shape or form, funny.

"Y-" she started, realizing her mistake. "You've really grown."


"… I um…" She bit her lip. She hated doing this. "I'm really, um… I'm, er… I-"

"Bullshit!" Jadeite grabbed the bars and slammed them back in place. "You're not sorry, Zoisite! All you care about is yourself!"

Zoisite pouted. "Jeddyyyyy!"

"Don't call me that!" The small ball of energy began to develop again.

"Can't we let bygones be bygones?!"

"Shut up." He pressed his palm against the metal and it melted back into place.

"No!" she cried as he began to walk away. "I was only seven years old!"

Jadeite shrugged. "Tough."

She gritted her teeth, recognizing the one word argument from ten years ago. It had been hers. "Get back here, you fucking bastard and let me out! Loser! Why can't you just get over it?!"

She watched as yet another failed escape plan disappeared into the darkness.

"FINE!" she bellowed, her expression twisted in loathing. "YOU MAY BE THE THIRD GENERAL HERE! BUT YOU'LL ALWAYS BE P.WEDGIE TO ME!"


Zoisite gave a deep sigh and sank to her knees. Well, at least she didn't have to do any apologizing. Goddess forbid that…

So her mischievous ways had once again caught up with her. Maybe she should do what everyone repeatedly told her to do. Maybe she should just…



She held her knees close and began to start another crying fest when the familiar sound of footsteps sparked her attention. "Hello?!"

The footsteps stopped abruptly.

She smirked. I won't mess up this time. Think friendly thoughts. Think friendly thoughts… "This way! I need help!"

The footsteps started up again and finally, she was able to make out a large silhouette. "Is someone there?" she asked, wishing that they'd hurry up. She didn't have all day…

As if sensing her impatience, the figure quickened its pace and she was able to recognize him as the other man from the fight earlier. The victor and most likely the first general of Queen Beryl's little army. Looking down, she realized that it was his cape that gave him a large appearance. But honestly, who wore capes anymore?

"Hi!" she greeted him, trying to keep the bitterness from her tone.

He only stared at her with icy blue eyes, a nonchalant expression upon his features. Almost… Bored.

"I'm Zoisite."


She felt her blood boiling. No taste or manners? "Can you er… let me out of here?"

He just stared at her indifferently.

Her eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. Was he trying to piss her off? Because it was working exceedingly well. She crossed her arms. Hard nut to crack, eh? We'll just see about that…

Bleh. Now I have to translate this over to the male version. GYAAAAH! This will be difficultish... Well PLEASE review with your criticisms or praises. Whichever one. Useless flames that scream "ZOISITE IZ A GUY! OMG111!" will be ignored... I really don't care, to be honest with you... And that's that. Yes I know this chapter was crazy, but I'm a crazy person and crazy people right crazy stories. REVIEW!