Er...I think when I started writing this it was originally going to be a Snarry fic...I'm not quite sure, I wrote it a year ago and haven't thought about it since then. However, when I wrote it, it went from what I originally had in mind, which is the beginning of it, to a crack!fic, which is from when they enter the Chamber of Secrets to the end of the fic. I'm not quite sure how that happened, it just did. I typed this up as I had it written, because otherwise I don't think it would show the crackiness of my original writing of this.

I deem that crackiness is a word to describe crackfics. So shall it be written, so shall it be known! ...oh, wait, that only works if you're a Pharaoh...

\...\ Snape thinking

/.../ the voice in Snape's head

Q Q whatever is being done at that moment

Disclaimer: This fic is why they won't allow me to even attempt to buy the rights to Harry Potter.


Of all the students Albus could have allowed to stay here over the summer, her had to pick Harry-bloody-Potter. Alright, the boy wasn't that bad when you got him away from other Gryffindors. He could seem absolutely Slytherin at times.

Of course, Albus had insisted that the two of us spend time together to get over our differences.

"Sir? Professor Dumbledore said we have to actually talk to each other today. He's been spying on us. You can swear at him about it as much as you like, he can't hear us or read lips so he has no idea what's being said."

"How do you know that?"

"Convinced him to show me. Said I wanted to know about wizarding spying techniques so that I could see if it would help in defeating Voldie."

"Posititvely Slytherin of you."

"Why thank you. Would you like to come with me to see if there's anything salvageable of the Basilisk?"


QQQQQQ time lapse, they're in the chamber now QQQQQQ

"Must be some kind of preservation charm in here, it hasn't changed since I left in second year."

Q looks at Snape Q

"Er, Professor?"

Q looks like he died and went to heaven Q

\All the Potions ingredients...\



Q mentally shakes himself Q


"I actually don't need any of it, so you can have it all."



Q magics it into containers Q

Harry: Q hisses Q

Snape: \WTF?\

Statue: Q opens mouth Q

Harry: Lets see if there's anything in there!

Snape: Q mutters Gryffindor Q

QQ looking...looking... QQ

HP: Potions journals?

SS: I can't read them.

HP: Must be in Parseltongue. Hey, this one lets people speak and understand parseltongue!

SS: for how long?

HP: looks like forever.

SS: I want to make it, you'll have to help and translate everything for me.

HP: Awesome!

QQQQQQ time lapse to when potion is done QQQQQQ

SS: lets see if it works

Q Drinks potion Q

HP: Q hisses Q Did it work?

SS: Q hisses Q Guess not.

HP: It did! You understood and spoke Parseltongue



I still don't know where that came mind can be so weird sometimes.