Title: ANBU Antics 1/2
Author: Yami no Kaiba
Fandom: Naruto
Rating for this part: PG
Pairing: Kakashi/Iruka

Summary: The Sandaime had a very good reason for giving Umino Iruka two full-time jobs and no vacation. Too bad for the Godaime, the man never wrote that reason down.
Disclaimers: Masashi Kishimoto owns all Naruto characters.

Iruka blinked at the missive in his hands. There had to be a mistake. Iruka, for as long as he could remember, simply did not get orders from the Hokage to take a vacation.

The fact that Iruka had never had a vacation from his work, though, was apparently reason enough for the new Godaime Hokage to order him to take a vacation, supposedly for his health. Something about how it was statistically known that people his age needed breaks from everyday stresses periodically.

Inconceivable. There was far too much work to complete to just take a break! This was probably just a clever forgery from one of his students, attempting to get out of a week's worth of class.

Satisfied with figuring out the truth behind the official seeming document, Iruka left it on his table and went about his evening routine of marking the day's quizzes.

Iruka stumbled a bit as he was shoved out of his classroom, his hastily re-packed shoulder bag banging against his thigh. The other Chuunin Sensei slid the door closed rather loudly, leaving Iruka to blink in confusion as he stared at the physical obstacle baring him from his students.

Iruka rubbed at the back of his neck. Odd. He was fairly sure he hadn't called in for a substitute. And that had been Iruka's morning class...

Huh. He must have forgotten that he had a double shift at the Mission's Office again. Cursing his forgetfulness, Iruka dashed off down the halls.

Genma broke off balancing a kunai on the tip of his finger by using his chakra, as a harried looking Chuunin rushed through the entrance into the Mission's Office. Tsunade-sama snorted awake at the same time beside him, raising her head blearily up from her impromptu arm pillow.

The Chuunin -- Umino Iruka, Genma corrected himself as he recognized the other man -- flushed even more as he caught sight of exactly who was in the room and started bowing. "My sincere apologies for being late, Hokage-sama, Genma-san. I forgot I didn't have morning classes, and while I know that isn't excuse enough --"

"Umino-san," Tsunade growled, and Genma whipped his head around to look at the grumpy, inhumanely strong female beside him as she effectively cut off the babbling Chuunin. "What are you doing here? Didn't you get the vacation leave notice I sent you yesterday?"

Genma looked back at the Chuunin, noting how the man seemed both abashed and confused. "But... That was from you?"

Ooo. Genma hadn't known the new Hokage could look that pissed. He made a mental note to send Izumo or Kotetsu to wake her up from now on. "Of course. Who do you think sent it?"

Genma watched as the Chuunin ducked his head and mumbled at the floor even as a bright line of red seemed to make permanent residence along the scar across the man's face.

There was a bang and a crack, and Genma leaned hastily back in his seat as the table under his outstretched arm jerked violently. "Out with it!" the Hokage shouted.

Iruka's head snapped up and the answer came out as one big rush. "I thought one of my student's had forged it!"

Wow. Now that would have been a really neat trick. Genma wished he had thought of doing something similar when he'd been in the Academy. Would have made all those boring lectures his Academy Sensei had given him worth it.

The Hokage growled. "Get out, Umino-san. You're on vacation leave for a week."

The Chuunin hesitated, confusion radiating from his entire frame. "I... No work?" Genma blinked at the childish way the man said it.

"Yes. No work. For a week," the Hokage said in short, clipped sentences. "Now get the hell out before I order Genma here to throw you out."

Genma watched as Iruka nodded mechanically and walked out in a much slower fashion then the man had run in.

Tsunade grumbled beside him about work-a-holic Chuunins and went back to her arm pillow. Sighing in agreement, yet secretly elated that something interesting and non-lethal to anyone had happened during his shift, Genma picked his kunai up once more.

Iruka went back to his apartment in a daze.

He officially had vacation leave. Not only that, but a whole week's worth.

What was he supposed to do? He could train the whole time, but that would be rather pointless, as he'd have to go right back to his usual routine after a week. He could catch up on some reading he had wanted to do for his classes, but the Hokage had made it very clear that he wasn't supposed to do any work, and anything related to his classes was work.

Blinking and realizing that he'd arrived to his apartment while mulling over and discarding idea after idea, Iruka entered and dropped his shoulder bag on to an open hook of his coat rack.

Iruka stared at his apartment, mentally passing over everything that had to do with his work. It was... surprisingly empty, when looked at in that context. He didn't even have a Shogi set.

Well then... What did people normally do when they had time off?

Iruka thought about it, and remembered how a couple days ago, Asuma-sensei had been handing in a report and a few other Jounin had asked the bearded man out to drinks.

Nodding to himself, Iruka turned around and walked right back out of his apartment, closing the door behind him.

Mitarashi Anko opened the door to her favorite drinking establish, tired yet happy that she'd finished an ANBU joint mission successfully. Unfortunately, that bastard Hatake had been more annoying than usual, though Anko had been assured by other teammates that such behavior was to be expected out of ANBU personnel... But damn, had the man's attitude rubbed her the wrong way during the mission any worse than it had, she thought she would have been well within her rights to have thrown a kunai at the man's head, pointy end first.

A collective sigh of disappointment in the room's population caused Anko to snap out of her thoughts and pay attention to her surroundings. There was an overwhelming feeling of impatient waiting in the room, and -- hey, wasn't that statue in the corner supposed to have been at the top of the Hokage monument?

Anko walked to an empty stool at the bar, and ordered a drink even as her eyes didn't leave the corner with the statue. She mentally placed the normal locations of other items that were piled in that corner, which unbelievably enough, included the Hokage's hat.

The door's hanging bell tinkled as it was moved, and the attention of a hundred various-levels-of-snookered people's attention swiveled to that door. Anko, curious as to what was going on, looked as well.

Leaning against the doorframe, slouched in the boneless grace of the moderately inebriated, was Umino Iruka, cheeks dusted a charming red. The man was beaming triumphantly at the establishment as he pumped an arm into the air, his hand opening and letting the rolled-up cloth in his hands unfurl enough for Anko to realize what the man was holding -- the 'Everyone-do-your-best' banner from the Mission's Office.

But what made Anko really stare even as the entire establishment let out a roar of heartfelt congratulations and the people closest to the door drew the Chuunin into the room, was the modified ANBU armor for tactical support personnel that the brown haired man was wearing.

"What the hell is going on?" she asked in bewilderment, as she watched someone take the banner from Iruka and drop it in the corner with the statue and Hokage's hat as others crowded around the man and plied him with beverages and talk.

There was a giggle from the person beside her. "Heee. Man, you really sood have been here... or is it dere?" The really sloshed person blinked in confusion before shrugging. "Ruki-kun's been here all day. Wuz goin' on 'n on 'n on 'n..." a long gulp of whatever drink the person had, "on abou' all da cool things he did when he wuz young'er, 'n som'un -- I dink it was Kishi, doe maybe it wuz Vishi? -- said, 'Nuh uh! You couldn'a have done that!' 'N Ruki-kun said, 'Did so!' and they went back 'n forth, 'n back 'n forth, undil all dis starded."

Anko translated the person's speech from Drunk before asking, "But what is this?"

The person blinked at her. "Oh. People are darin' him dat he can'a do things. And then he goes 'n proves dem wrong."

Anko looked at Iruka once more. The Chuunin Sensei was obviously drunk, and Anko should do the nice thing and stop this right now... But that outfit Iruka was wearing reminded Anko of that Hatake bastard.

And well, Iruka was already in deep with whomever he'd stolen the ANBU uniform from, and the Hokage for snitching her hat. Would it really be all that bad if the man did just one more thing for Anko before she sent the poor man home?

Grinning, Anko slammed her drink down on the bar counter and jumped up next to it in order to stand above the crowd. Everyone went quite, and Anko pointed imperiously at the curious Chuunin in stolen ANBU armor. "I bet, that you can't get close enough to Sharingan Kakashi to write 'pervert' on the front of his shirt."

The crowd murmured low, appreciative of the awesome challenge Anko had just leveled. Iruka smiled slowly and secretively at her as he leaned back in his chair and took a long drag from the mug in his hand, never taking his eyes off hers from over the rim before setting the mug down.


"A photo."

"Got a camera?"

Anko riffled momentarily in her pockets and tossed it at him.

Iruka caught it rather gracefully. "I accept."

The entire establishment was cheering as the Chuunin stood and slipped out the door.

-- TBC.

A/N: And a URL to one of two fanarts that inspired this story (replace the space with a period):

http://www.deviantart com/deviation/41316217/