Heh... heheheh...HUAHAHAHAHAH! After spending thirty hours of reading everything... and I do mean everything... that Benjamin A. Oliver has on Florestica, I, in my sleep deprived and woozy state came up with a plot theme involving Arbyfish, Ranma, two as-yet little used creations of Ben's, and moulded them all together to create... something. Odd, that is. Not sure about what's happening, it seems that my fingers have taken over and begun typing of their own volition. Losing... control... of... my... mind... Plot? What... is... Plot? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! ... wOw. Did you know that when you're really tired you get to a point where everything suddenly makes perfect sense? But once you fall asleep you forget. I'm rambling. Sorry.
(The author has just been fired.)
Blinks. Hey... you can't do that, can you?
(Beginning story now.)
Hey, wait! I'm not done randomly typing every thought that crosses my mind yet! Nooooooooo...
"I've found you."
"I've been looking... since then. Why?"
"I rescued you... for my own selfish reasons of course. The entirety of my actions back then were based upon a long reaching and complex plan of my own devising... one that would have far reaching and lasting consequences that would inevetably fall out in my favor."
"Oh? And what are they?"
"... I forgot."
(a soft giggle)
"Maybe you aren't really as bad as you make yourself out to be, and just felt like helping out a friend in need?"
"... Mind your tongue. We aren't friends. I simply have no reason or motivation to kill you at the moment. Careful you don't change that."
Another soft giggle pierces the silence.
"In any case... I have plans and plots to attend to. Care to join me?"
"Sounds like fun, Brucie."
"... Don't call me that. Ever."
"Awww... but I like it Brucie-chan."
A long suffering sigh punctuates the silence.
"So what are we plotting?"
"We are plotting nothing. I am attempting to discover something about the First one."
"Then why did you spend all that time looking for me?"
"To make sure you were... To ensure that my all facets of my plot went smoothly. I have a perfect track record to maintain."
"... I think it's cute when you try to convince yourself of something."
If you listened hard enough, you might hear someone smiling.
"The First One is a difficult being to fathom. To give his life for such an undignified species as humans. Hairless apes. Why? This question plagues me considerably. To die... I tried it once. It wasn't easy to do, and the experience was not pleasant. What is so special about Humans, to drive the First One to such lengths?"
"... I suppose you could try being one for a while, and see if you learn something that way?"
"To lower myself to such an undignified form... the very idea is repugnant. But if it is the only way to understand the First Ones motives... For a time, I might shelve my disgust."
"Yay! Humans have the prettiest clothes!"
"... You try my patience Ribbons."
A wrinkle in space-time, a tear in the fabric of reality, courtesy of several purple and black clanmembers that Bruce had coerced, blackmailed, and otherwhise forced into cooperation, yawned into momentary existence to spit out two beings clothed in white and pink light respectively.
The tear mended itself and the glow slowly faded, revealing two apparent humans. One male, with white hair and clothes, and one female, with pink hair and a matching sundress. The man's eyes were red, like firelight reflected off rubies, and the pink haired maiden's blue eyes seemed to shimmer of their own volition.
Bruce attempted to float forward, only to stumble when his upper body moved forward but his feet remained firmly planted upon earth, leaving him sprawling face-first in the dirt. Ribbons giggled, but noticably spent a moment to analyze her new limbs before attempting motion. Bruce spat out a mouthful of grass and, after a few failed attempts, managed to rise to his feet.
"...We... NEVER... speak of this. Ever. Agreed?"
Ribbons answer was a giggle as she twirled around, obviously appreciating the dress she was wearing.
"Of course..." Bruce pulled a switchblade out of nowhere and twirled it rapidly around his fingers in motions that should be impossible for a being that had until recently only registered fingers absently as 'those things the hairless apes have on the things on the end of their flippers.' "This is quite fun. And I admit that despite the ignominity of this body and that my true form is far superior... I could never manage a feat like this with flippers."
Genma was searching for his lost(fled) son who had wandered away from his loving father(slipped off while his father was sleeping after he'd realized that Genma had decided to up the ante of the Neko-Ken by adding the cubs of larger felines, such as lions and tigers, and was considering acquiring fully grown specimens for the sake of forcing his son to master the technique). Why if his poor mother knew what was going on, she'd be so worried, she would probably burst into spontaneous tears at the thought of the boy running off like that(but not before she'd provided such much needed ventilation to parts of him that were never meant to see daylight, such as the spleen, by means of a very sharp katana). The thought spurred him on to even greater lengths... there was nothing the man would not do for the sake of keeping his hide intact.
Sadly, He'd taught his son how to lay false trails far too well, and by the time he realized he'd been following one it had begun to get dark, leaving him lost and shocked that his meal ticket had well and truly given him the slip.
Ribbons blinked as she glanced down into a bush. Long unused skills that her companion had painstakingly pounded into her head... as part of some extremely complicated plan that for some reason did not involve eliminating her right this moment... began working overtime.
"Brucie... You want to understand humans better right?"
"In order to understand just why the First One would sacrifice himself for a pack of hairless apes... yes, a better understanding of Humans would be neccessary."
Hook. "Humans invest a lot of time and energy in raising their little snots... I wonder why they do that?"
"Indeed, it is an odd thought. We are perfectly capable of sustaining ourselves immedieately after the first stage of development. Such behavior in humans seems inefficient."
Line. "So why not try it out, and see firsthand? In the extremely low chance that a human snot could be found without its own guardians and alone in the next few minutes. Otherwise forget about it."
Bruce paused, sensing a trap somewhere, but was for some reason incapable of determining where and what it was, so as to avoid it properly. He blinked and realized that Ribbons was waiting for an answer. So he did, never considering that it could be the Pink that was laying the trap.
"I suppose that, if a suitable snot could be found within the next few minutes, out here in the middle of nowhere, with no adult apes to lay claim to it, then yes, such an experiment may well be performed. But the chances of that happening are..."
And sinker. "Yay!" Ribbons cried, immediately stooping down and snatching up something from under a bush. Bruce began to feel a very dark sense of foreboding, as though the universe were sniggering at him and saying 'I told you so'.
"I'm... not going to care much for what you're about to show me, are I?"
Ribbons just beamed and turned, proudly displaying the human mucus... child, Bruce reminded himself, the entire point of this exercise was to understand humans better, and part of that was thinking like a human. Naturally, he hadn't actually planned on having to go through with his words, and had it been anyone else he would have simply buried a switchblade in the human s... child's skull and been done with it. However... he found himself strangely unwilling to do such with Ribbons present, for some reason. He could of course do whatever he pleased, but chose instead to humor her in order to lay the groundwork for a scheme of world domination that he would implement... eventually.
That did not, however, keep him from sighing heavily and grimacing.
"I suppose that, lest I be branded a liar, you can..." he winced for some reason and inexplicably changed his phrasing at Ribbons' soft frown "...WE can... perform this experiment, to gain a deeper knowledge of humans."
While Bruce began rationalizing to himself, Ribbons smiled down at the child... little boy... and ran her fingers through its... his... black hair. She considered for a moment, then smiled and pulled out a length of string to tie its hair with. A little pigtail... SO CUTE!
Through the haze of sleep-deprivation I can dimly note how stupid the entire idea behind this really is but... I'm just to tired to care. I keep getting the feeling I've forgotten to do something though... It'll come to me... or maybe not... probably wasn't important then anyway.
So, yeah, a Ranma raised by a white and a pink arbyfish... can you say 'mood swings'? Oh yeah... stupid or not, this is going to be FUN to write. One minute he's all calm and happy and shit and the next he's a megalomaniac plotting world domination. Hahahahahah... excuse me while I go fall over.
And actually, I did have the next chapter for Zombies harem done, but my computer ate it and I have to start all over again. So the people who have been begging for an update will have to wait just a little while longer. Sorry.