Hey all! It's been a long time. You know, looking over my Reviews Awaiting Reply folder, I couldn't help but notice that this story is...REALLY popular! So I'd like to thank you all for your reviews and sticking with me this long. No, the story isn't over! There's much more to come. This chapter was really hard for me. Except for some tiny parts in Gravitation(the manga) and a bit of Gravitation EX(which I don't really like, so I don't like to use it for reference) there aren't a WHOLE lot of serious!Ryuichi moments, ya know? So I have to take what I know about him and just tr to make it as accurate as possible. So let me know how I did, okay? Me-ish updates are in my profile, as always. I'm sorry this took so long, guys. I'll try to be faster from now on. But life isn't kind(as usual)...I've been sick a lot recently and such. Ugh, it's hot out today. Well, enjoy!

This chapter is dedicated to: FoodFrenzyDelite(I don't hate Yuki either, but I love Ryu! Sorry if Shu's choice disappoints...), cal(I love Ryu, too! :D), Carrie(I'll never quit!), mystice(Yeah, I must have a cliffhanger fetish or something cause I always do it, to every story, every chapter XD), lain(so instead of getting promoted, the store closes down and I lose my job. Funny, eh? But thanks anyway!), moo(thank you! Your review almost accidentily got lost in another folder, but I found it!) for their awesome reviews that were left with no way to reply! -cries- Love you, guys!


Chapter Six

"Get on that plane…and you'll never see me again."

Shuichi's heart nearly stopped beating at the very sound of a certain blond writer's smooth, threatening voice. "Y-Yuki…?" He whipped around, unbelieving.

There he stood in all his dubious glory, looking much the same as he always had. Hair a little shorter, perhaps, but with the same look of disinterest that he had always shown the singer. Beautiful, sure…but even weapons of mass destruction have been given such a title. "Who else?" He bit out in irritation.

It…can't be. "Why…" The shorter blond cleared his throat, trying to overcome his immense surprise. "Why…are you here?"

Icy eyes narrowed. "I thought that much would be obvious."

No, it's not! Shuichi was beyond frustrated with his apparent inability to speak his mind and felt defeated just by standing in the blond's presence. "I…I don't understand…"

"I moved." He answered without hesitation, his look of disgust only intensifying at the things that came to mind as he spoke. "You can go on your little so-called 'vacation' to go fuck around with that freak, Sakuma, but if you do, I'll make sure you never find me again."

N-No way…never…again? "…and…if I…don't go…?" He whispered brokenly, feeling his resolve to be independent shatter into a million tiny pieces…or was that his heart?

"Then I give you this key..." He held up the small silver item, dangling it by the cheap metal ring it was attached to. "…and you move back in." For now, anyway. Until you annoy me again, probably. He felt the slightest twinge of guilt. Why keep him at all if he couldn't stand the singer? Why go through all the trouble to hold onto something he didn't want? He couldn't answer the questions that bothered him on a daily basis-that's why he continued to see his therapist. It's his own damn fault anyway. He has a talent for annoying the hell out of me.

"I…" But I…I promised Ryuichi…

"Final call for Flight 213 to New York, New York at gate 13G. Please proceed…"

Ryu…ichi… He stared at the key, never more unsure in his life. "…"

It ticked Yuki off that he should have to think about it for any length of time. The singer was supposed to instantly jump him, crying oceans and screaming his apologies and undying love for the writer at the top of his lungs…even though it would piss him off, should he do such a thing in public. "Is that a no?" He moved to shove the key into his pocket.

Shuichi instinctively snatched it from the writer's fingers. "No! I…" I'm…so sorry, Ryuichi! "I'll…stay."

"Then hurry up." He turned on his heel and walked away, leaving the singer to hurry after him, though his energy had completely seeped out and vanished. Although a little disappointed in Shuichi's reaction, a small smirk tugged at the corners of his frown. I thought so. Like hell if some old bastard is going to take you from me.

For the whole car ride, Shuichi could only stare at the jeans pocket that held his phone. I…should call. Or at least send a text. I…don't want to make him…wait for me… But his fingers wouldn't move. He knew it was the ultimate of screw ups. What if…Ryuichi doesn't want to see me ever again? What if he…hates me now? He tried to decide which was worse, decide who he could deal with never seeing again, but no answer was found. I guess I still…love Yuki, after all. He realized, just when he was so sure that he might have been ready to try again. He knew that, had Yuki not shown up at the airport, he definitely would have gone. And what then? He could only speculate what might have taken place over his two weeks with the older singer. It was pointless to think about now, anyway, he knew.

What the hell is his problem? Yuki glanced at the now-blond singer. "What, did you finally learn how to be quiet or something?"

Same old Yuki… "…" Without answering, he sighed lightly and stared out the window, cell phone still untouched. Am I…still the same? All this time thinking, all those songs I wrote…what were they for? What should I do? But I guess…I already made that choice. It's…too late.


On the other side of the globe, a certain brunet waited patiently in red leather pants, a black sleeveless shirt and an unbuttoned white dress shirt over that. But the passengers came and went, his expected guest of honor never appearing. He checked the arrival time on his copy of Shuichi's ticket, then checked his watch. Taking a glance at the board, he noted that flight 213 had indeed come in on time, therefore concluding that the most recent flood of passengers had come from there. So you didn't come after all, Shuichi…?

"I'm definitely coming to New York! I was able to take two weeks off from work…"

He also concluded that there was only one thing in the entire world that could possibly stop his best friend from coming to see him:

Yuki Eiri.

Cobalt eyes narrowed dangerously as he reached up, pulling red sunglasses from his hair before slipping them back over his nose. I see how it is. He sighed, pulling out his phone. The brunet had recently gotten a newer model shipped to his door from Japan and had it activated with his number just a day ago. He had happily stuck his favorite picture of himself and Shuichi, one in which they were particularly close together, to the dark red plastic and now stared at it mournfully.

"Memories!"

What…should I do now? I let Shuichi know how I felt and let him decide for himself what to do. When he left you on his own, I was so sure that…at least he wasn't so easily fooled by you anymore. I'd heard about how well he's been doing, I'd read about it…he really seemed to be…okay. Not at all broken and alone like I had feared, which is why I sent him that ticket in the first place. And I was so…happy to hear it. He began dialing while he headed for the front desk. Whatever you've done, Yuki Eiri…you won't get away with it. Shuichi isn't nearly as stupid as you think he is…and neither am I. And now, Ryuichi Sakuma had two weeks and absolutely no plans for them. I'm through…playing nice.

He tried to hide his bad mood as his call was answered. "Hey, I need a favor…"


Shuichi stood in the hallway, fidgeting nervously. Yuki had taken his bags and tossed them into the bedroom carelessly before plopping onto the couch to smoke, exhausted from his all-nighter. He had noted that the manuscript was indeed gone upon his return. The editor had left no note, so he could only figure that she would call at a later time. "Will you sit down already? You're pissing me off!"

The singer flinched at the harsh words before coming to sit next to his…lover? Ex-lover? He didn't even know anymore. Not too close, but not too far. I've been around him for over a year…why do I feel so nervous now? He went to set his phone down on the table, barely able to realize his mistake and flip it over in time. On the front of his phone, he had once had a picture of himself and Yuki from a special date they had shared. But in only a week and a half away from the blond writer, it had become too painful to stare at anymore. He had carefully peeled it off and stuck it to the back of a small famed picture of the same man. Yuki would never have been sentimental enough to give him a larger photo or even pose for one-Shuichi had to buy a girls' magazine and cut it out. He found himself smiling at the memory, but it disappeared just as quickly. Ryuichi just kind of…gives his stuff away. I even have one of his rings! But Shuichi had yet to wear said ring, as he couldn't seem to decide which finger to put it on. This was a good thing, he figured, since he wasn't as into the finger ornaments as the brunet, and Yuki probably would have known instantly where it came from. Not that that's any of his business! …but it is, now, isn't it? I told him…that I would stay. Does that mean that we're a couple again? So…I should be happy, right? When he had gotten out of the shower a few days ago, after the older singer had called him, he had chosen one of the pictures from their day in Shibuya and stuck it on his phone instead. They weren't a couple, but they were good friends…and with Yuki gone 'forever', it only seemed natural to move on as quickly as possible; focusing on what he did have rather than what he had so painfully lost.

Shuichi couldn't help feeling a little guilty as he placed his phone, picture side down, on the table. Why…should I feel…? You kicked me out! I told you I wanted to stay and you said…you said…

"I…I'd like to stay. But if you don't want me-"

"Of course I don't."

"Hey, Yuki…"

He glanced over at the other blond briefly before leaning forward to put out his cigarette, disliking the tone in the boy's voice. "What?"

"I was wondering…." He felt that he was stepping into dangerous territory already and he had barely begun to speak. "…why did you kick me out? And then, why change your mind after that? Why did you come all that way to get me when you said you…don't want me?"

"Why?" Yuki twitched at the dreaded word. His shrink asked him the same thing all the time and he couldn't stand it. He glared predictably before grabbing the front of Shuichi's shirt. "I don't know why and I don't care! So stop asking me why! Maybe I did it because I felt like it. And maybe I'll kick you out again in two days if I feel like it. You got a problem with that, you little punk?"

"I…" I should have a problem with it!

But before any other thought was possible, Yuki nabbed his vulnerable lips in a rough kiss. Just like that, all rational thought disappeared. No matter how cruel his lover was, Shuichi just couldn't stay mad at him. Purely about satisfying the writer, who had gotten really tired of a handful of loose chicks in the past month, that night held no passion at all. Shuichi's whining and cries fell on deaf, uncaring ears as he asked himself a million times: What am I doing…? Never before had he felt so broken while being held in Yuki's arms.


It was Friday again and Yuki was predictably gone. Shuichi had seen him leave around ten and hadn't bothered to ask; he knew exactly what response he'd get.

"Shut up. It's none of your business."

But isn't it my business when we're a couple…? He always wants to know where I am… With a sigh, Shuichi crawled out of the large, empty bed slowly and painfully. I can't believe I'm here again…I can't believe I let that jerk take me so easily! 'Maybe I'll kick you out again in two days if I feel like it'? What the fuck! He found his bag and opened it up, needing fresh clothes for after his shower. I'll have to go to Hiro's and get my stuff… He froze at the sight of black leather pants, which were right on top. He had thought of wearing them that day, but had decided against it. After all, it would have been more fun to wait until Ryuichi wore his so they could match.

"Good riddance."

What am I doing…? He wondered if Yuki would have burned them if he had known of their existence…and that's when the doorbell rang. "Crap!" Did Yuki forget his key? It's kind of early…maybe he didn't stop at the store this time. He grabbed the aforementioned pants, stuck going commando for the moment since he had been naked. Barely getting the zipper up by the time he had gotten to the door, and figuring that it was Yuki anyway, he decided to forget about the button. The blond hastily unlocked the door and threw it open…then stared, immobilized in his horror.

There stood Ryuichi Sakuma looking more gorgeous than ever in skin-tight red leather pants and an open white dress shirt. He had removed the black sleeveless shirt some time ago, as it had become a little too toasty for his liking. His hair had grown a little in the time he'd been away and it still looked glossy and styled, even after being blown around in the wind. The brunet had grown fond of sticking his sunglasses up on his head whenever he didn't want them on his face. Despite the sun-catching that his red-framed shades implied, he hadn't tanned at all.

The younger singer's breath caught in his throat and he didn't know whether to give a sobbing apology or run away at lightning speed to go jerk off in the bathroom as he stood there, wide-eyed. "Saku-Ryu-you-I-we-Yuki-he…" The blond sputtered nonsensically.

Ryuichi's expression darkened into a nasty scowl. "Shuichi…" He began in a low, threatening tone as he leaned in close to the other's face. "…you stood me up." Not being able to take his best friend's look of utter terror any longer, he broke into a grin, trying not to laugh too hard. "So I came to you, instead! Did you miss your flight? You could have just taken another one." He couldn't help but eye the other's pants, noting how delicious he made them look. My, my…you've got nothing on under there, have you…?

Shuichi gaped like a fish out of water before dropping into a ninety degree bow. "I-I'm so sorry Sa-Ryuichi! I…I…"

He smacked him on the back good naturedly, almost sending him into a nose dive towards the floor. "It's okay, Shuichi! I missed home, anyway. But I didn't think it would be so hot today!" He took the liberty of skipping in, barely removing his shoes in favor of slippers before turning the corner and diving onto the leather couch.

The blond singer followed slowly in a daze, leaving the door wide open. You're what's hot today! He mussed up his hair in irritation, practically ready to pull it out. Gah, I skipped my flight to go see him in order to move back in with Yuki so we could do the nasty five times a day in every position imaginable! I shouldn't be thinking like that about Ryuichi! What's wrong with me?! Though it didn't occur to him at the time, Shuichi had been completely entranced by the ex-lead singer of Nittle Grasper ever since the first time he had seen him on TV and heard his clear, smooth voice. It had stirred something inside of him and from that day on there was nothing else in the world he would rather do. Every day of his life he had strived to be someone worthy of being mentioned in the same breath with Ryuichi Sakuma. He hardly understood how he had been befriended by the man…he only knew how it broke his heart every time he seemed to be disappointed in him.

Said idol propped himself up on one elbow, which made him look like a photo in a dirty magazine. "What's with the new place, anyway, Shuichi? I had to ask around to find out where you'd gone!" And it had definitely ticked him off at the time. He didn't want to have to call the singer, himself, since it would ruin the element of surprise. Luckily, Hiro had gotten a text that night from the blond, admitting to what he'd done. The guitarist of Bad Luck had been severely disappointed, and Ryuichi had had a long talk with him.

Shuichi tried his hardest not to get a nasty nosebleed. After all, Yuki would kill him if he got blood all over the white carpets. "This house…that is…I…"

Noting the blond's trouble at finding the words, Ryuichi sat up and waved him over, his voice deep and quiet. "C'mere, Shuichi."

As if unable to resist, he walked over and sat down hesitantly. "…"

"So, what happened?"

He was silent a moment more before taking a deep breath and letting it all out, almost without stopping. "I was at the airport, I intended to go. I was all packed and ready, waiting for my flight, but then he…Yuki…" He turned and latched onto the brunet in tears. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Ryuichi!"

Ryuichi returned the embrace with a frown, petting the other's soft hair while trying hard to focus on anything other than the warm breath on his bare chest. "…"

It was a big weight off his shoulders to be able to tell the story to Ryuichi and beg forgiveness-not that he felt that he deserved it. "But Yuki showed up and said that if I went I'd never see him again! And I shouldn't have cared, since he kicked me out but I…I don't know…so he gave me a key to his new place…he wants me to move back in…but I…"

Ryuichi's frown deepened as it became perfectly obvious what they had done last night. A dirty trick…but no one should have known about Shuichi's departure information except for Hiroshi and me. That was your mistake. "But you…don't want to?" He tried hopefully.

"That's just it: I don't know! Yuki said…he might kick me out in a few days, anyway…"

Geez, that's blunt, even for him. The brunet sighed, trying to sort out his feelings. This was no time to be trying to win the blond's favor, and while he wasn't surprised at what Shuichi had done, he was frustrated nonetheless. Though he had known that something like this awaited him, he still felt inadequately prepared to deal with it. "Do you remember why you moved out of his apartment in the first place?"

Yuki knew something was amiss the moment he approached the open front door and found an extra pair of shoes there. He cast off his own, dropped down his bags and set off for the living room in his socks, since he had only had two pairs of slippers, which meant someone else was wearing his.

"Because…he told me to…"

"Good riddance."

"That's right. And what's changed since then, I wonder…?" He held Shuichi more tightly as he gave the entering pissed blond writer a smile that would melt any normal man's heart and called out in a sing-song voice. "Hello, Yuki-san!" Jealous much?

Shuichi was just about to ponder the brunet's words when the name made his blood run cold. He turned, ever-so-slowly, to peer up at the angry man.

The ash fell off of Yuki's cigarette as he stared. What the hell is with that look? Why the fuck are you here, Sakuma?! He towered over them and growled. "Both of you get the fuck out!" He had taken one look at them and completely blown up. Shuichi was shirtless, his pants unbuttoned, in the arms of another man who, surprisingly, had a shirt…that was hanging open.

The blond singer pulled away from his friend to protest. "Yuki! Wait! It's not what it looks like!"

"I don't give a fuck what it is! I don't know what the hell possessed you to let this pedophile in here, but you two freaks can go be queer together somewhere else!" When Shuichi didn't leave on his own, Yuki grabbed the sobbing chibi and punted him towards the door. He glared at Ryuichi next. "Are you waiting to get a foot up your ass, too, or what?"

"Oh, don't worry, I'm leaving." The brunet stood, but paused on his way past the writer. "How is it that you came upon his flight information, anyway…?"

"I don't have to answer your questions."

Ryuichi shrugged. "Fair enough. Well, if Shuichi can't sleep here, I guess I'll borrow him for a couple weeks. You won't miss him, right?"

"Fuck off!" Why are you trying to take him from me? What do you care? Do you even like him? Or have you just got some kind of fucked up agenda?

"Heh, you're awfully confident, aren't you? You really seem to believe that, no matter what…Shuichi will always come back to you. Is that right?"

"I don't think a psycho like you is entitled to give that kind of analysis." He shot back, crossing his arms defiantly.

He shrugged again, staring him down with serious cobalt eyes. "I'm just saying that maybe you should be careful how many times you kick him. Some day, you might regret it. Good day, Yuki-san." He made his way out and before he knew it, the door was being slammed in their faces.

"Yuuuukiiii…" The sad blond whined over and over while banging on the door.

"C'mon, Shuichi. You're used to this, aren't you?" He stretched lazily. "We know when we're not wanted. My bags are still in my rental car, so you can have a shirt. Then we'll go hang out, okay?"

"But…Yuki…"

He narrowed his eyes slightly, losing patience fast after a long flight and sleepless night on a strange couch. "Do you know why I'm here, Shuichi?" Before an answer could be given, he once again leaned in close to the younger singer. "We agreed to spend two weeks together. I'm not very happy that you blew me off for someone like him, but I got on the very first flight to Tokyo when you didn't show up. And that's because I want to be with you. Unlike him, I enjoy your company…and I was under the impression that you felt the same. If I'm wrong, I'd think you'd better tell me now."

I knew it, he's really mad about me not going! This, however, just caused more tears. "I'm sorry, Ryuichi! I didn't hurt your feelings, did I? When I ended up going with Yuki, I really, really wanted to call, but I just couldn't seem to! And then I had to hide my phone because it's got your picture and I wasn't sure if you hated me and never wanted to see me again and…"

Ryuichi rubbed his temple with a pained expression. At least…you were thinking about me. I guess, right now…I can't ask for more than that. "Well, I don't hate you. We're together now, aren't we? So make it up to me." He grabbed Shuichi's hand, pulling him towards the elevator. "Okay, let's go!" I think you need a drink. I think I need a drink. Let's go get smashed or something.

Yuki stayed there for some time, with his back to the door. After their voices faded, he headed for the couch, his blood boiling. What's that bastard playng at? The blond writer felt a little light headed as he stepped on something and almost tripped. Picking up the offending cell phone, that belonged to none other than Shuichi, he was greeted with a picture of said boy with Ryuichi Sakuma, both looking extremely happy. If memory served him right, his picture with Shuichi had been there before. The phone had clearly fallen off the table in the shuffle. So what if…I don't smile in my photos…? He squeezed it so hard that his knuckles turned white before throwing it against the opposite wall, watching as it broke into several pieces. He leaned against the wall behind him and slid to the floor slowly. You can keep that brat. I don't care what he does. He's nothing…but a headache. His heart wouldn't seem to slow and he coughed a few times. Sticky red blood appeared on his hands and his throat felt tight as he tried to control the coughs. Shu…ichi… And he soon blacked out.


"An' I shoulda said no, ya know? Cause Yuki's the bastard who kicked me out an' said ta never come back, ya know? But I couldn't decide cause I don't wanna be without either of ya forever, ya know?" Shuichi slurred after far too many drinks.

Ryuichi wished for the hundredth time that he hadn't appointed himself the designated driver, so that he wouldn't have to remember this conversation in the morning either. For the most part, Shuichi had gone on and on about how Yuki pissed him off, and yet… Why are you still with him? What does he have that I don't? He doesn't even care about you! "You don't say." He took another sip of his sake casually, savoring the only glass he'd get for this evening.

"Yeah! 'Zactly! But…what am I gonna do, Ryu-chi? I don't wanna…give up on Yuki but…I like yooou, too…yer so nice ta me…all the time…an' so…pretty…"

Ryuichi blinked. Pretty…?

"Ugh…I think…I'mma…barf…"

The brunet quickly rushed him to the bathroom, letting him hack it all up while he rubbed his back gently. "I think that's enough for you…" Well, this was inevitable. I took him here on purpose, anyway. He sure seemed to like the idea. He stared at the ceiling thoughtfully before helping him to the sink. "Ready to go?"

He washed up, trying to ignore his awful reflection, and seemed a little more sober. "Yeah…"


Ryuichi chose a nice hotel and checked them in before helping the woozy blond to their suite. The man at the front counter had given them funny looks as they stumbled into the elevator, but seemed to dismiss it as two friends with issues, who had only requested one bed to save money. Having only two bags, he didn't require any help getting them there. He stuck the keycard into the lock and it beeped, signaling that the door had opened. Shuichi practically fell inside and the older singer tried his hardest not to laugh. The lights had a dial, which meant that he could turn them half way for dim lighting.

Ryuichi dropped his bags by the small table before peeling the blond up off the floor. "Are you okay, Shuichi…? You're really plastered!"

"Ryu-chi…" Came a whiney voice. "Why doesn't…Yuki like me…?"

This caught him by surprise and he struggled to come up with some kind of answer. How should I know? I'd like to ask how he can possibly not like you! Because… Violet eyes met cobalt suddenly as Shuichi looked up at him pleadingly. "Uh…" …if he did, I think…I could just walk away from this-from you. It would be okay, if he loved you. But…he doesn't. So I…

"You like me, don't chu, Ryu-chi…?"

"…yeah, I do."

Shuichi leaned closer. "You really are…beautiful, Ryu-chi…" But their lips barely touched before he promptly passed out in Ryuichi's arms.

What timing. But he's drunk, anyway…it's not like he means it. And when he wakes up, he probably won't even remember it. The brunet sighed loudly before dragging the blond to the bed so that he could sleep the afternoon away. He removed the other singer's shoes and placed them at the door with his own before plopping down on the bed next to the snoozing boy. Beautiful, huh…? Deciding that a nap couldn't hurt after a long flight and so many disappointments, he grabbed Kumagoro and curled up on his side, facing the windows that showed a dark sky and the last remnants of a setting sun. But sleep still wouldn't come to him.

The night before, his first stop had been Yuki's old apartment. Upon finding it to be vacant, he had gone straight to Hiroshi's house.

He had been rather surprised to find the singer on the other side of his door. "Uh…"

"Nakano-san…" Ryuichi stared at the ground, sadly before meeting his eyes. "Where is Shuichi…?"

Hiro gave the other brunet a sympathetic look before ushering him inside the small complex. "You look like you already know."

Ryuichi plopped onto the couch, exhausted and hurt, beginning to wonder why the hell he had even come. "…I know that he's with Yuki Eiri."

He nodded, even if the other couldn't see it. Bringing hot tea from the kitchen, he had a seat next to the troubled singer. "He text me a couple hours ago, saying that Yuki-san was taking him back. He still has to take the rest of his stuff from here…I have the address, if you want it."

Ryuichi sipped the tea slowly. "I…" He stared down at the green liquid with a frown. "I don't know. Maybe…it's none of my business."

"Really? I think it's your business…"

"…" He put the cup down suddenly. "No. No, it isn't. He was supposed to come see me…but we're only friends. It's not like he belongs to me." The brunet stood suddenly, moving for the door. "If he doesn't want to see me, if he chooses Yuki Eiri…then that's it. If that's…who he loves…" He grabbed the knob o the front door, hesitating slightly. "I'm sorry for bothering you, Nakano-san. And please tell him that…I…"

"…wait." Hiro had gotten up at some point and had now grabbed Ryuichi's shoulder, turning him slightly before letting go and bowing. "Sakuma-san…please don't give up on Shuichi!"

Ryuichi blinked. "But…he doesn't…I'm not…good enough." He choose Yuki, after all…

He straightened up. "That's not true! I think…Shuichi wants to love you."

The singer averted his eyes. "You must be mistaken. He loves Yuki Eiri, clearly."

Hiro shook his head. "You should have seen…how well he did without him. After he got over it, there wasn't a single day…that he came to work unable to sing. And when your package came, he was so happy. I wish you could have seen the look on his face." He paused a moment before continuing. "And I'd bet everything I have…that he hasn't smiled even once yet since Yuki showed up again."

He wondered what to do. Part of him wanted to see Shuichi more than anything, but part of him wanted to just give up this apparently losing battle. "…"

"At least think about it. You can sleep here, if you like. Just…think it over. Please."

"…alright." Ryuichi made his way back to the couch and finished his tea silently before trying to get comfortable, but knowing that he wouldn't be able to rest. He realized that maybe he would be able to sleep with Kumagoro, but the bunny was in his car…and he suddenly felt too drained to go and get him.

Before Hiro left for his own bed, he commented. "You know…the day you left, he meant to stop you. It killed him that he was too late. And he felt that…if only you had let him know your feelings sooner, he might have been able to be with you. But, if there's anything I've learned, it's that…it's never too late. I believe…that Shuichi needs you. I think…you're the only one who can show him that."

"…"

And by the next morning, Ryuichi had made up his mind and gotten the address from the guitarist. "You're right…Shuichi needs me. And I won't be Yuki Eiri…I won't let him down." He waved to the other brunet. "Thank you, Nakano-san."

He smiled, relieved. "You can call me Hiro."

Looks like…I have another friend. "Then you can call me Ryuichi." He returned the smile, a little relieved, himself, before making his way down the steps and out to his rental car.

"Good luck!" Please help Shuichi…

Ryuichi sighed lightly and flipped over onto his back. I won't let my friends down. But how am I going to do this…? It was now after five and he was a little hungry.


By the time room service arrived, Shuichi had woken up and seemed pretty sober again. "Ugh…my head hurts…how many did I have?"

Ryuichi shrugged. "I'm not really sure…I stopped counting after eight." He handed the other singer the aspirin that he had requested with the food.

They ate in silence for some time before Shuichi spoke quietly. "How…can I get Yuki to like me…?"

Ryuichi stared down at his food, frowning. "I don't think he likes anyone."

"Sometimes…he's really kind to me."

"Yeah, but…does that really make up for all the times he isn't?"

"…" I…guess not. "All I ever wanted…was for Yuki to love me like I love him. Is that…so wrong…?" Why…won't he love me?

Ryuichi wanted to sigh. "No…that's not wrong. I think…that's kind of what everybody wants." I know it's what I want. Don't tell me…that you've forgotten that? "You can stay here tonight, since he kicked you out…"

Shuichi shook his head. "No…"

"No…?"

"Yuki told me to leave…but he didn't say I couldn't come back. If he never wanted me there again, he would have said so."

What, like last time? The older singer was getting frustrated. Yuki this, Yuki that. It's all we talk about. That guy shows up and the Shuichi I love is thrown out the window. It's…really irritating."Why bother, Shuichi? He'll just kick you out again. I don't think that guy is sure of a single thing in his entire life."

"Then he can be sure…that I'll always be there!" He stood abruptly, knocking the table a little. "You don't like him, but you don't know him, either! Everyone's always saying I'm doing the wrong thing…well, how should you guys know?! You don't know Yuki! You don't know what he's like or what he's been through! If he didn't need me, he would just get rid of me for good! There's a reason we keep ending up back together…maybe it'll be a long time before Yuki will really be able to love me, but if I really love him, then I'll wait, no matter what you or anyone else says!" With that, he turned and stormed out, grabbing his shoes to put on at a later time.

Damn it…this isn't what I meant to do… Ryuichi climbed onto the bed and curled up, clutching his bunny tightly. "I'm just…making things worse, aren't I, Kumagoro…? Maybe…Shuichi will never…" Tears slid down his cheeks, falling onto the rabbit. "…love me…" What...can I do...?


Shuichi caught a cab all the way back to Yuki's new apartment, only to be unable to get in. Both his key and his phone were inside, and the blond writer wasn't answering, no matter how loudly he called him. What's going on…? He could see no light under the door, although it was still early in the evening and Yuki should have been awake. Did he go somewhere…? Shuichi sat down and waited patiently until ten o'clock, but Yuki never showed. After a few more minutes, he decided to go back to Ryuichi's hotel, apologize, and see if the invitation to stay there for the night was still open. I guess I'll have to make up with Yuki tomorrow…and I should probably go back to work, since I'm not going on vacation. The album comes out next month…I shouldn't be playing around anyway.

At the hotel, the man at the front counter stopped him, as anyone other than guests and their company were not allowed. It was a different guy than before, as the shift had probably ended some time ago. "Can I help you, sir?"

"Uh…I'm just here to see a friend. Sakuma-san, suit 13."

"Ah, yes, Sakuma-san. I'm afraid he left some time ago. Rather strange, he didn't even stay one night. He must have just been catching some sleep in-between flights, yes? I'm sorry you missed him. If you like, I-"

But Shuichi was already gone. No, no… "Take me to the airport, please!" Not again…don't leave, Ryuichi! But by the end of the ride, he had decided that he had no right to ask the brunet to stay. After all, he had come all the way to Japan because Shuichi skipped out on him and how he had yelled at him. Except for Hiro, Ryuichi probably understands me better than anyone…I just want…to say good bye. And that…I'm sorry.

He tried to work his charms on the girl at the counter. "Hi. I'm Shuichi Shindou, the lead singer of Bad Luck."

She quirked a brow. "Really…?"

"Yup. Have you heard our new single? The album comes out soon. I uh…wanted to ask if you could look up a passenger for me…"

"I'm afraid not…"

Shuichi pouted. "Please? I'll give you an autograph…" But she didn't look interested. "A kiss? Anything!"

"I told you, I can't do that."

"Please!" Rivers streamed down his face. "I just wanna tell him I'm sorry but he was already checked out of the hotel and my phone is in my boyfriend's apartment so I can't call him and apologize but I don't want him to hate me because he's my God!"

She blinked, taking it all in. "So…you're gay?"

"Mmhmm." He nodded and sniffled.

She could just imagine him getting it on with some other hot boy while his boyfriend waited at home…and it almost made her dool. "Well…okay. I'll help you. What's his name?"

"Ryuichi Sakuma." Yes!

She gaped. Sakuma-sama from Nittle Grasper?! That's the guy you're cheating on your boyfriend with?! Oh my God… It was a nose bleed waiting to happen, so she typed in his name. "…I'm sorry, Shindou-san…his flight left to New York more than an hour ago…"

He hung his head, defeated. "…thank you…"

She wanted to call out to him as he slowly walked away, but ended up saying nothing. "Ah, come to think of it, his sister Maiko was in my graduating class!" He was a nobody back then…but I remember hearing about Bad Luck on the news…ohmigawd! He's dating Yuki Eiri-sama! And cheating on him with Sakuma-sama?! I have to find her number and call her!


Shuichi pulled himself up to Hiro's door, dejected. As soon as the guitarist opened it, already in his PJ pants and shirtless, the blond threw his arms around his friend tightly. "Hiro, it's all my fault! I screwed up again! I think Ryuichi hates me…"

I don't think that's possible… He let Shuichi in and sat him down, making himself some strong coffee, glad that he didn't have any drama of his own since Shuichi seemed to make enough for the both of them. He sighed and plopped down next to him. "Okay…tell me what happened."